The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[chen35]

Sam, my heart hurts for you. You do whatever you need to do in order to grieve. There is no statute of limitations on these things.  ::hugs::

[swamp]

Jul 31, 2018 15:30:53 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

What a week, what a week!!!

Rash has spread vs going away... now it is all over her back, legs, stomach, face, behind her ears.

My wife almost drove herself crazy overthinking it. .. she still might!

Made us take DD to urgent care Saturday night.... pediatrician there suggested Benadryl and misdiagnosed DD. Suggested she had (I forgot the name) something that 50% of the time is caused by Herpes. Off course now a fight brakes up at home because my wife is accusing me of bringing herpes to the house and passing it on to DD... Let’s just say it was not a happy Home and I was about to move out by Sunday.

Tuesday or today we were back at her Primacy Care that told us to stop the Benadryl and suggested Zyrtec instead.

Didn’t trust her so got a second consultation. Now this Dr (owner of the practice) said not to give her nothing, that kids get rashes for random reason (kind hard to pin point)... to just let it be and come back if it does not disappear in 1-2 weeks.

Easier said then done since I am married to Ms Crazy over there that since the rash has appeared has cleaned the house up and down twice (and want to hire a cleaning company), turn over her mattress over, cleaned/Washed all the sheets and clothes, no one was allowed to touch Carlie when coming home till after hands were washed and clothes changed, going over every detail of her diet, has canceled all play dates we had scheduled.

Both her mom and I have told her she is driving herself crazy over this, all she thinks about and wants to talk about... but she blames herself and keep on saying how she failed as a mother, her job is to protect Carlie and she couldn’t that.

In the mean time Carlie is happy as could be, strong appetite, playing and acting normal. No fever, no other sign of illness... just he rash all over her body.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but your wife needs help.   Seriously. This isn't normal.    

[chen35]

Jul 31, 2018 20:41:19 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Jul 31, 2018 19:23:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Then I'd listen to the doc and don't do anything for a week or two.  Carrot got rashes and eczema all the time until he was 4 or 5.  I thought he was allergic to everything, but he outgrew it.

Gwen also had eczema and grew out if it.

Then I'm 99% sure a patch on the back of Abbys neck is psorasis. She could have inherited it from DH. The only way to confirm though is a biopsy and I'm not putting her through that. It is possible for it to clear on it's own.

I'd punch DH if he accused me of bringing home herpes. Course 80% of the population has it so eventually the kid will likely get a cold sore or two.

Carl your wife is going to end up having a stroke. I know I'm beating a dead horse but she really needs to see someone. You mentioned on YM she has high blood pressure freaking out this bad about random rashes and bugs will kill her. Carlie isn't even two how the hell is Mrs C going to handle the school years?

Yeah, that wouldn't have gone over well at our house either. On either side.

[andi9899]

Aug 1, 2018 9:05:19 GMT -5 swamp said:

Jul 31, 2018 15:30:53 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

What a week, what a week!!!

Rash has spread vs going away... now it is all over her back, legs, stomach, face, behind her ears.

My wife almost drove herself crazy overthinking it. .. she still might!

Made us take DD to urgent care Saturday night.... pediatrician there suggested Benadryl and misdiagnosed DD. Suggested she had (I forgot the name) something that 50% of the time is caused by Herpes. Off course now a fight brakes up at home because my wife is accusing me of bringing herpes to the house and passing it on to DD... Let’s just say it was not a happy Home and I was about to move out by Sunday.

Tuesday or today we were back at her Primacy Care that told us to stop the Benadryl and suggested Zyrtec instead.

Didn’t trust her so got a second consultation. Now this Dr (owner of the practice) said not to give her nothing, that kids get rashes for random reason (kind hard to pin point)... to just let it be and come back if it does not disappear in 1-2 weeks.

Easier said then done since I am married to Ms Crazy over there that since the rash has appeared has cleaned the house up and down twice (and want to hire a cleaning company), turn over her mattress over, cleaned/Washed all the sheets and clothes, no one was allowed to touch Carlie when coming home till after hands were washed and clothes changed, going over every detail of her diet, has canceled all play dates we had scheduled.

Both her mom and I have told her she is driving herself crazy over this, all she thinks about and wants to talk about... but she blames herself and keep on saying how she failed as a mother, her job is to protect Carlie and she couldn’t that.

In the mean time Carlie is happy as could be, strong appetite, playing and acting normal. No fever, no other sign of illness... just he rash all over her body.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but your wife needs help.   Seriously. This isn't normal.    

We've all said this multiple times. She's going to make herself sick worrying so much. Not to mention turning out a high strung and nervous kid.

[TheOtherMe]

Sam_2.0  you are allowed to grieve in any way you need and for however long you need to grieve.  

[NastyWoman]

Sam_2.0 

[taz157]

Sam_2.0 - ((((Hugs))))

[muttleynfelix]

Jul 31, 2018 11:47:38 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Not to hijack azucena's thread...when did you switch to a booster?  I have a 97th percentile kid 5 1/2 year old and a britax car seat that will accomodate her up to a 85 or 100 pounds (not sure on height, but she'll hit that before the weight requirements but she's good now).  

We switched to high back booster at 4.5... because the straps no longer for correctly. We switched from high back to regular at 6 for Ben...i think. Going to regular booster has been more about sitting up properly in the seat. He struggles with sitting up properly.

[Chocolate Lover]

Jul 31, 2018 20:10:24 GMT -5 steph08 said:

<snip>

Harper has also had roseola - a high fever and generally fussy baby and then after she got better, a weird rash covering most of her body. It lasted for about a week.

Is that the one they called "slapped face" rash because it looked like someone slapped the poor kid? It was everywhere else on the body too, but not as bright. DD's pediatrician took one look at her and said that. He had been a dermatologist before moving to pediatrics, so I guess he'd seen it before. Lol

[chen35]

I found out a few days ago that a girl I went to high school with passed away from leukemia last week. She has two kids, 3 and 1. I can't even imagine. Then today I find out her younger brother and father had already died from the same thing! Apparently it's a hereditary kind? That poor mother. 2 of her 4 kids and her husband gone. I wonder if they'll start screening the other two kids regularly. So scary. 

[Deleted]

Aug 1, 2018 13:53:23 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Jul 31, 2018 20:10:24 GMT -5 steph08 said:

<snip>

Harper has also had roseola - a high fever and generally fussy baby and then after she got better, a weird rash covering most of her body. It lasted for about a week.

Is that the one they called "slapped face" rash because it looked like someone slapped the poor kid? It was everywhere else on the body too, but not as bright. DD's pediatrician took one look at her and said that. He had been a dermatologist before moving to pediatrics, so I guess he'd seen it before. Lol

Older son had that.  He wasn't sick from it though, but he had the brightest red cheeks for quite a while. 

[zibazinski]

Aug 1, 2018 14:52:53 GMT -5 chen35 said:

I found out a few days ago that a girl I went to high school with passed away from leukemia last week. She has two kids, 3 and 1. I can't even imagine. Then today I find out her younger brother and father had already died from the same thing! Apparently it's a hereditary kind? That poor mother. 2 of her 4 kids and her husband gone. I wonder if they'll start screening the other two kids regularly. So scary. 

Oh, no. 😢

[taz157]

Aug 1, 2018 14:52:53 GMT -5 chen35 said:

I found out a few days ago that a girl I went to high school with passed away from leukemia last week. She has two kids, 3 and 1. I can't even imagine. Then today I find out her younger brother and father had already died from the same thing! Apparently it's a hereditary kind? That poor mother. 2 of her 4 kids and her husband gone. I wonder if they'll start screening the other two kids regularly. So scary. 

😢😭

[zibazinski]

I wish they could screen for stuff like that.

[steph08]

Aug 1, 2018 16:42:57 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 1, 2018 13:53:23 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Is that the one they called "slapped face" rash because it looked like someone slapped the poor kid? It was everywhere else on the body too, but not as bright. DD's pediatrician took one look at her and said that. He had been a dermatologist before moving to pediatrics, so I guess he'd seen it before. Lol

Older son had that.  He wasn't sick from it though, but he had the brightest red cheeks for quite a while. 

No, that is fifths disease.

Roseola is a high fever and general fussiness, once that goes away, the kid breaks out in a spotted rash on their torso/back that doesn't seem to bother them.

Kids are weird.

[Deleted]

Aug 1, 2018 20:07:05 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Aug 1, 2018 16:42:57 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Older son had that.  He wasn't sick from it though, but he had the brightest red cheeks for quite a while. 

No, that is fifths disease.

Roseola is a high fever and general fussiness, once that goes away, the kid breaks out in a spotted rash on their torso/back that doesn't seem to bother them.

Kids are weird.

Oh yeah, that's right.  I'm out of touch with the gazillion infant/toddler ailments.

[justme]

Jul 31, 2018 12:28:51 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Jul 31, 2018 12:09:56 GMT -5 chen35 said:

It's something I've always wondered about myself. Apparently you can't 'get' ADHD as an adult, it's something you've had since childhood but just never been diagnosed or have been able to mask the symptoms through sheer determination. I am part of a women in business forum on facebook, and I posted a question asking for advice on how to overcome my depression and anxiety at work, because I just couldn't find motivation to get things done a lot of the time. A general practitioner in the same group pointed out that ADHD symptoms can often mimic depression and anxiety symptoms, and that I should really consider that. From there I  read a fantastic book, Driven to Distraction. I took a quiz from that, and showed most of the symptoms of adult ADD. I called around to find a Dr. that dealt with that and made an appointment. Maybe the term 'formally diagnosed' is misleading. She asked me some questions, looked over my medical history, and agreed that I showed the majority of the symptoms and it would be beneficial to try medication. She's not a psychiatrist, just a general practitioner who deals with adult ADD quite a bit.

Thank you for the info.  I feel the same way:  lack motivation/depression/anxiety.  Meds for anxiety and depression don't work very well for me.  I've had some issues with distractibility and focus since childhood, but was never hyperactive or anything, and got great grades.  It's definitely not clear-cut for me, but a possibility.

I'm not on meds, but my therapist diagnosed me (about a year in he asked me if I ever thought I was add and I had to calm down from laughing to say I've been saying that for 15+ years and everyone said I was crazy). I suppose I'd have to go to a psychiatrist or talk to my primary care if I wanted drugs for it. Frankly, my only real problem from it is cleaning (I suck at it and it somehow takes all my add stuff that works great in other areas to almost debilitating). I've never asked if it's something you can take as needed or not... it'd be nice to take a pill some Saturday and knock out the shit I suck at.

My therapist mentioned a Ted talk about it that was really great. I still need to watch it.

Eta I've chatted with him a bit about it and it seems add presents differently in females.... and not just the lack of hyperactivity. So it goes undiagnosed a lot. Especially since it's one of those spectrums that's not the same for everyone.

[Lizard Queen]

Aug 1, 2018 21:22:03 GMT -5 justme said:

Jul 31, 2018 12:28:51 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Thank you for the info.  I feel the same way:  lack motivation/depression/anxiety.  Meds for anxiety and depression don't work very well for me.  I've had some issues with distractibility and focus since childhood, but was never hyperactive or anything, and got great grades.  It's definitely not clear-cut for me, but a possibility.

I'm not on meds, but my therapist diagnosed me (about a year in he asked me if I ever thought I was add and I had to calm down from laughing to say I've been saying that for 15+ years and everyone said I was crazy). I suppose I'd have to go to a psychiatrist or talk to my primary care if I wanted drugs for it. Frankly, my only real problem from it is cleaning (I suck at it and it somehow takes all my add stuff that works great in other areas to almost debilitating). I've never asked if it's something you can take as needed or not... it'd be nice to take a pill some Saturday and knock out the shit I suck at.

My therapist mentioned a Ted talk about it that was really great. I still need to watch it.

Eta I've chatted with him a bit about it and it seems add presents differently in females.... and not just the lack of hyperactivity. So it goes undiagnosed a lot. Especially since it's one of those spectrums that's not the same for everyone.

Do you know what things lead your therapist to that?  I mentioned to my DH last night that I might be, and he said no way. I wouldn't be able to do pixel art like I've been doing, if I was. I think he's wrong. The pixel art keeps me occupied, and distracts me from other stuff that I should be doing instead.

[alabamagal]

Aug 2, 2018 6:40:02 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Aug 1, 2018 21:22:03 GMT -5 justme said:

I'm not on meds, but my therapist diagnosed me (about a year in he asked me if I ever thought I was add and I had to calm down from laughing to say I've been saying that for 15+ years and everyone said I was crazy). I suppose I'd have to go to a psychiatrist or talk to my primary care if I wanted drugs for it. Frankly, my only real problem from it is cleaning (I suck at it and it somehow takes all my add stuff that works great in other areas to almost debilitating). I've never asked if it's something you can take as needed or not... it'd be nice to take a pill some Saturday and knock out the shit I suck at.

My therapist mentioned a Ted talk about it that was really great. I still need to watch it.

Eta I've chatted with him a bit about it and it seems add presents differently in females.... and not just the lack of hyperactivity. So it goes undiagnosed a lot. Especially since it's one of those spectrums that's not the same for everyone.

Do you know what things lead your therapist to that?  I mentioned to my DH last night that I might be, and he said no way. I wouldn't be able to do pixel art like I've been doing, if I was. I think he's wrong. The pixel art keeps me occupied, and distracts me from other stuff that I should be doing instead.

I am ADD. I have learned to deal with it for the most part. My evening hobby is jigsaw puzzles. I can sit for an hour and do just that. It’s like my brain has done so much during the day that the puzzle just calms me down.

[chen35]

Aug 2, 2018 6:40:02 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Aug 1, 2018 21:22:03 GMT -5 justme said:

I'm not on meds, but my therapist diagnosed me (about a year in he asked me if I ever thought I was add and I had to calm down from laughing to say I've been saying that for 15+ years and everyone said I was crazy). I suppose I'd have to go to a psychiatrist or talk to my primary care if I wanted drugs for it. Frankly, my only real problem from it is cleaning (I suck at it and it somehow takes all my add stuff that works great in other areas to almost debilitating). I've never asked if it's something you can take as needed or not... it'd be nice to take a pill some Saturday and knock out the shit I suck at.

My therapist mentioned a Ted talk about it that was really great. I still need to watch it.

Eta I've chatted with him a bit about it and it seems add presents differently in females.... and not just the lack of hyperactivity. So it goes undiagnosed a lot. Especially since it's one of those spectrums that's not the same for everyone.

Do you know what things lead your therapist to that?  I mentioned to my DH last night that I might be, and he said no way. I wouldn't be able to do pixel art like I've been doing, if I was. I think he's wrong. The pixel art keeps me occupied, and distracts me from other stuff that I should be doing instead.

The ability to hyper focus on some things is a symptom. When I have some time I’ll post the whole list from the book.


ETA: found it online. I’m on my phone so can’t create a link:

www.drhallowell.com/add-adhd/adult-add/

[cktc]

Wow I've suspected I have some form of ADD, but that list is scary accurate.

[justme]

Aug 2, 2018 6:40:02 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Aug 1, 2018 21:22:03 GMT -5 justme said:

I'm not on meds, but my therapist diagnosed me (about a year in he asked me if I ever thought I was add and I had to calm down from laughing to say I've been saying that for 15+ years and everyone said I was crazy). I suppose I'd have to go to a psychiatrist or talk to my primary care if I wanted drugs for it. Frankly, my only real problem from it is cleaning (I suck at it and it somehow takes all my add stuff that works great in other areas to almost debilitating). I've never asked if it's something you can take as needed or not... it'd be nice to take a pill some Saturday and knock out the shit I suck at.

My therapist mentioned a Ted talk about it that was really great. I still need to watch it.

Eta I've chatted with him a bit about it and it seems add presents differently in females.... and not just the lack of hyperactivity. So it goes undiagnosed a lot. Especially since it's one of those spectrums that's not the same for everyone.

Do you know what things lead your therapist to that?  I mentioned to my DH last night that I might be, and he said no way. I wouldn't be able to do pixel art like I've been doing, if I was. I think he's wrong. The pixel art keeps me occupied, and distracts me from other stuff that I should be doing instead.

Like someone else mentioned, being able to hyperfocus is a hallmark of add. I'm sure lots of things led him to think I am, but when he first mentioned it it was how I said when I attempt to clean I often feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start and can get caught up in less helpful things like spending hours organizing my photos or books even though that doesn't really make anything cleaner. I also have trouble making stay or go decisions not because I can't let things go, but my brain goes off in a million directions on all the last times I used it and if anything like that might come up again and half the time one of those thought patterns brings up something else so I go off in search for that and forget that I was supposed to decide what to do with that item.

I also can get easily distracted (the ooh shiny! can be totally true for me) and in school I had to make sure I was distracted since I went through school work so fast I'd distract those that weren't as fast as me since I didn't fully grasp they weren't like me.

I'm not sure if it's indicative of all add, but a visual that kind of encapsulates it for me at least. Apparently "normal" people think very linear, mostly this thought leads to that thought etc. Whereas for add people, at least those like me, the first thought is in the center and then there's a ton of thoughts shooting off from that at the same time like spider branches that sometimes intersect or loop around or tear other thought process apart or end up somewhere else. Except for the moments of hyperfocus where even if it doesn't completely shrink down to one thought it is very trained in.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My psychatrist wondered if I might have ADD.    He had me do the screening and it came back normal but he's not sure I'm answering "honestly" but instead from my perspective on what is "normal".

He decided to table that for awhile until we get my anxiety medication figured out and see what moves into place as I get that under control before adding on more stuff.

[cael]

Hey guys, wanted everyone's thoughts on potty seat for the toilet vs. an actual small potty. I have been thinking of skipping the small potty and getting the potty seat only so he learns to use the real toilet, but what have you guys found works? He's started going "yuck!" for new diapers and sometimes notices when he pees in the tub, haha. I doubt he's ready to actually potty train, just figure I'll introduce him to thinking about sitting on it.

[Sam_2.0]

We skipped the little potties. For Aly I had gotten one of those integrated kid seats. With J I was done hassling with it all and he just learned on the big toilet. Step stools are a must though! Its darn near impossible to poop with your feet dangling

[NastyWoman]

Aug 2, 2018 10:00:05 GMT -5 cael said:

Hey guys, wanted everyone's thoughts on potty seat for the toilet vs. an actual small potty. I have been thinking of skipping the small potty and getting the potty seat only so he learns to use the real toilet, but what have you guys found works? He's started going "yuck!" for new diapers and sometimes notices when he pees in the tub, haha. I doubt he's ready to actually potty train, just figure I'll introduce him to thinking about sitting on it.

I'll let others answer the questions you asked since it has been far too long BUT just wanted to point out that there is a Thomas the Train potty seat for a few bucks at Amazon. I got one for DGS1 when he was visiting. Now it is waiting for Little Guy next year or so 

[cktc]

Aug 2, 2018 10:00:05 GMT -5 cael said:

Hey guys, wanted everyone's thoughts on potty seat for the toilet vs. an actual small potty. I have been thinking of skipping the small potty and getting the potty seat only so he learns to use the real toilet, but what have you guys found works? He's started going "yuck!" for new diapers and sometimes notices when he pees in the tub, haha. I doubt he's ready to actually potty train, just figure I'll introduce him to thinking about sitting on it.

I decided to skip the small potty and go right to the toilet. So far its all "no like, eww" when we even suggest using the toilet. Going to wait it out. Maybe I'll eventually cave and see if he'll be more interested in a small potty. Really didn't want to have something more to clean.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

We use the potty seat for the regular toilet.  We don't have room in the bathroom to fit a potty chair and personally they make me gag.   ML insisted on trying one with Gwen but she never showed any interest she wanted to use "the big girl potty". 

Abby used the potty seat for about two minutes then decided she did not like it.   She prefers balancing on the edge of the toilet.   Whatever works.

[Lizard Queen]

Aug 2, 2018 7:54:19 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Aug 2, 2018 6:40:02 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Do you know what things lead your therapist to that?  I mentioned to my DH last night that I might be, and he said no way. I wouldn't be able to do pixel art like I've been doing, if I was. I think he's wrong. The pixel art keeps me occupied, and distracts me from other stuff that I should be doing instead.

The ability to hyper focus on some things is a symptom. When I have some time I’ll post the whole list from the book.


ETA: found it online. I’m on my phone so can’t create a link:

www.drhallowell.com/add-adhd/adult-add/

Thanks! I ordered the book last night, but this should tide me over until it gets here.

[Lizard Queen]

Aug 2, 2018 10:00:05 GMT -5 cael said:

Hey guys, wanted everyone's thoughts on potty seat for the toilet vs. an actual small potty. I have been thinking of skipping the small potty and getting the potty seat only so he learns to use the real toilet, but what have you guys found works? He's started going "yuck!" for new diapers and sometimes notices when he pees in the tub, haha. I doubt he's ready to actually potty train, just figure I'll introduce him to thinking about sitting on it.

We got a small potty when my oldest first started showing interest in potty training. Despite sitting on it a few times, was never used to "go" in. It was used as a toy quite a bit, though. Both boys grew too physically big for it by the time they potty trained for real. They used the toilet topper kind.