The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[swamp]

Jul 18, 2018 9:39:49 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Jul 18, 2018 8:37:55 GMT -5 swamp said:

My kids came through for me.  They did so much work and no complaints.  

DD even made chocolate covered strawberries in the afternoon to serve at the party.  

That is so sweet!

She can be the sweetest most cooperative kid in the world.  Or a demon.  Depends on the day. 

[raeoflyte]

C discovered minecraft parody songs on youtube this summer.  I don't remember how, but I'm sure I can blame my sister somehow.     I know it's the beginning of the end and he'll be searching for minecraft boobs before I know it.  

As much as I have fought with dh over the introduction of video games and amount of screen time to allow, one thing I knew I could at least draw my line in the sand on was watching other kids play video games online.  I mean that's complete crap.  But this morning when he was listening to songs he found 'how to build cool houses' which he of course loved, but is totally just watching other kids play video games.  I realized he hasn't even played minecraft all week!  E has been playing, but not C.  I've completely lost as a parent.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I don't get those videos either.  Gwen loves them and so does Abby.

However I've been watching some of the stuff I watched as a kid and I am starting to feel the moral high ground slipping away from me.

[steph08]

Jul 18, 2018 10:05:03 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

C discovered minecraft parody songs on youtube this summer.  I don't remember how, but I'm sure I can blame my sister somehow.     I know it's the beginning of the end and he'll be searching for minecraft boobs before I know it.  

As much as I have fought with dh over the introduction of video games and amount of screen time to allow, one thing I knew I could at least draw my line in the sand on was watching other kids play video games online.  I mean that's complete crap.  But this morning when he was listening to songs he found 'how to build cool houses' which he of course loved, but is totally just watching other kids play video games.  I realized he hasn't even played minecraft all week!  E has been playing, but not C.  I've completely lost as a parent.  

If you could get my 39-year-old husband to stop watching Youtube videos of other people playing Fortnite, that'd be great - thanks! 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

This will remain forever funny.  I keep hoping it comes on when I am in Target or at the grocery store with Gwen so I can embarrass her.

[chen35]

Had a headache so did not jog or read. Watched crappy reality television and went to bed at 9:30. I'll try again tonight.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Jul 18, 2018 10:09:23 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Jul 18, 2018 10:05:03 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

C discovered minecraft parody songs on youtube this summer.  I don't remember how, but I'm sure I can blame my sister somehow.     I know it's the beginning of the end and he'll be searching for minecraft boobs before I know it.  

As much as I have fought with dh over the introduction of video games and amount of screen time to allow, one thing I knew I could at least draw my line in the sand on was watching other kids play video games online.  I mean that's complete crap.  But this morning when he was listening to songs he found 'how to build cool houses' which he of course loved, but is totally just watching other kids play video games.  I realized he hasn't even played minecraft all week!  E has been playing, but not C.  I've completely lost as a parent.  

If you could get my 39-year-old husband to stop watching Youtube videos of other people playing Fortnite, that'd be great - thanks! 

Would telling him that's what my middle school students do deter him at all?

[steph08]

Jul 18, 2018 12:18:41 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Jul 18, 2018 10:09:23 GMT -5 steph08 said:

If you could get my 39-year-old husband to stop watching Youtube videos of other people playing Fortnite, that'd be great - thanks! 

Would telling him that's what my middle school students do deter him at all?

Nah - I have realized that no matter how much older he gets, he's pretty much stuck at a 15-year-old mindset - boobs and video games. 

[Deleted]

Jul 18, 2018 10:05:03 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

C discovered minecraft parody songs on youtube this summer.  I don't remember how, but I'm sure I can blame my sister somehow.     I know it's the beginning of the end and he'll be searching for minecraft boobs before I know it.  

As much as I have fought with dh over the introduction of video games and amount of screen time to allow, one thing I knew I could at least draw my line in the sand on was watching other kids play video games online.  I mean that's complete crap.  But this morning when he was listening to songs he found 'how to build cool houses' which he of course loved, but is totally just watching other kids play video games.  I realized he hasn't even played minecraft all week!  E has been playing, but not C.  I've completely lost as a parent.  

OMG. 

I HATE those videos of people playing video games, nothing in the world seems more mindless to me and I actually get pissed off when they're on.  But both my kids?  Addicts.    I deter/deflect as much as possible.   Last night Carrot had free screen time and was using the TV.  I told him "ANYTHING but those!"  He puts on "Just Ridiculous"...which I had no clue what it was.  An hour later and I'm like WTH?  I just watched people dropping things off towers for an hour. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

You want to talk WTF?



Starting to wonder about my generations' mental health.   This scared the crap out of Gwen when I showed it to her.   DH wanted to know why I was showing her furry videos.

[andi9899]

Jul 18, 2018 13:21:13 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Jul 18, 2018 10:05:03 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

C discovered minecraft parody songs on youtube this summer.  I don't remember how, but I'm sure I can blame my sister somehow.     I know it's the beginning of the end and he'll be searching for minecraft boobs before I know it.  

As much as I have fought with dh over the introduction of video games and amount of screen time to allow, one thing I knew I could at least draw my line in the sand on was watching other kids play video games online.  I mean that's complete crap.  But this morning when he was listening to songs he found 'how to build cool houses' which he of course loved, but is totally just watching other kids play video games.  I realized he hasn't even played minecraft all week!  E has been playing, but not C.  I've completely lost as a parent.  

OMG. 

I HATE those videos of people playing video games, nothing in the world seems more mindless to me and I actually get pissed off when they're on.  But both my kids?  Addicts.    I deter/deflect as much as possible.   Last night Carrot had free screen time and was using the TV.  I told him "ANYTHING but those!"  He puts on "Just Ridiculous"...which I had no clue what it was.  An hour later and I'm like WTH?  I just watched people dropping things off towers for an hour. 

Thing 1 and my dad like the show Impractical Jokers. Talk about a stupid show! But they will sit there together watching it and giggling like little girls. I don't get it. I'm also surprised random people haven't kicked the crap out of the guys on the show yet.

[chen35]

I hate that show so much! Especially the three who aren't doing the 'challenge' laughing so obnoxiously over everything. 

[WholeLottaNothin]

Jul 18, 2018 13:30:23 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

You want to talk WTF?



Starting to wonder about my generations' mental health.   This scared the crap out of Gwen when I showed it to her.   DH wanted to know why I was showing her furry videos.

I LOVED this show as a kid. One of my favorites. A lot of 80's kids shows are bizarre, but still so much better than YouTube crap.

[TheHaitian]

So my child is anti-social

Today was one of the play dates with 2 other couples at the park... I could not go because of work so my wife went.

1 of the other girls was born 5 days before Carlie and the other the Dec prior. Seems a bunch of us moved in around the neighborhood at the same time and expecting babies around the same time... one of the couples already had another baby; 2 kids under 2... that was my mom.

Carlie just stayed glued to my wife, did not want to play with the other kids or anything. She did not cry or throw a tantrum, she was just interested in playing with other kids her age.

But my wife said while Carlie did not enjoy it she personally enjoyed getting to know other people with kids and they exchanged info. She said she is an introvert (or antisocial); so it is no surprised that Carlie might be too.

I dunno, I don’t need her to be a social butterfly but I want her to at least be a little social... am I expecting to much of my 18 months old? Did we wait to long to introduce her to other kids? Did we fail her?

[Lizard Queen]

You are expecting way too much of an 18 month old.

[swamp]

You're expecting too much for an 18 month old. She's never seen other kids. Give her time to warm up.

[cktc]

Jul 18, 2018 19:18:35 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

So my child is anti-social

Today was one of the play dates with 2 other couples at the park... I could not go because of work so my wife went.

1 of the other girls was born 5 days before Carlie and the other the Dec prior. Seems a bunch of us moved in around the neighborhood at the same time and expecting babies around the same time... one of the couples already had another baby; 2 kids under 2... that was my mom.

Carlie just stayed glued to my wife, did not want to play with the other kids or anything. She did not cry or throw a tantrum, she was just interested in playing with other kids her age.

But my wife said while Carlie did not enjoy it she personally enjoyed getting to know other people with kids and they exchanged info. She said she is an introvert (or antisocial); so it is no surprised that Carlie might be too.

I dunno, I don’t need her to be a social butterfly but I want her to at least be a little social... am I expecting to much of my 18 months old? Did we wait to long to introduce her to other kids? Did we fail her?

Kids her age just tandem play, they don't usually interact with each other. DS is a social butterfly but he completely ignores kids his age, plays with their parents, older siblings, he's a little more interested in younger babies but still doesn't really play with his same age cousins.

You definitely didn't fail Carlie. She'll have plenty of time to get more comfortable and make friends. You guys socializing more will set a good example too, so that is really great that you are doing that more.

[geenamercile]

Carlie is fine. Lot of 18 months, and 24 months, and even 36 month olds just tandmem play or stick to themselves.


We made it to the camp ground. So far everything is going well.

[chiver78]

I realize my kids have four paws, but they are still my kids. since we came inside from an evening out in the backyard, my golden has been parked in the bay window, almost continually staring out the window looking for my roommate. we had such a great night, too.....but she's still looking for him.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Yeah,Carl, you’re kinda way off on that one. I was going to use the term parallel play, but it’s the same concept. Toddlers don’t “play together”. They sit near each other and play independently. And not everyone just is instant friends. You did a great job setting this up. I’m happy for your wife to have other parents to talk to. It will grow; give it time.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I wasn’t allowed to watch tv much as a kid, so I have no idea what that is!

[steph08]

As everyone else has said, she is way too young to be expected to be a social butterfly or even interact much with other kids.


In my world today, we knew Chloe would be the bull in the China shop child, but she proved it today by chipping both of her front teeth after she fell in our lane (gravel). She totally tripped, landed and caught herself, just to let her face hit two seconds later right on her teeth.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhh. Off to the dentist in the morning.

[Lizard Queen]

Jul 18, 2018 20:11:47 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Yeah,Carl, you’re kinda way off on that one. I was going to use the term parallel play, but it’s the same concept. Toddlers don’t “play together”. They sit near each other and play independently. And not everyone just is instant friends. You did a great job setting this up. I’m happy for your wife to have other parents to talk to. It will grow; give it time.

Parallel play is the term I learned for it.

[TheHaitian]

Thanks everyone but even when the other kids her age approach her she is kinda like
“Nope”...

Like today my wife said one of the other little girls came to her and wanted to hi 5 her, touched her hand and touch her pants and Carlie was just not having it.

And she has done similar at the library... tomorrow taking her for a 10:30 in our town,
So will see how she does.

Again thank you.

[Deleted]

Jul 18, 2018 22:36:52 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Thanks everyone but even when the other kids her age approach her she is kinda like
“Nope”...

Like today my wife said one of the other little girls came to her and wanted to hi 5 her, touched her hand and touch her pants and Carlie was just not having it.

And she has done similar at the library... tomorrow taking her for a 10:30 in our town,
So will see how she does.

Again thank you.

That's totally normal and it doesn't mean she's antisocial.  At 18 months about the only interacting they do is bite each other and fight over toys. 

When she's 3 or 4 it will be an entirely different world.

[zibazinski]

There are churches with mother’s morning out programs. Find one or more of those for now. Ours was Wednesday from 9-12. Free if you were a member $5 if you weren’t.

[alabamagal]

With 18 month old, you will only get them used to being around other kids. Plus germs! It is really much more beneficial for the parents to interact.

[tcu2003]

Jul 19, 2018 7:05:50 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

With 18 month old, you will only get them used to being around other kids. Plus germs! It is really much more beneficial for the parents to interact.

All of this. M has been in a daycare center since 14 weeks (she’s almost 23 months now) and she and her classmates still parallel play. It also takes her a bit to warm up to anyone new, so she won’t give high 5’s to anyone she has just met. Even with big brother C, M is hit or miss on whether she wants him anywhere near her while she’s playing. Babies can be moody just like the rest of us, so with being nervous and around new people and new situations, Carlie may just not have been feeling like being social.

All of this to say, she’s totally normal, Carl!

[tcu2003]

Jul 18, 2018 23:07:46 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Jul 18, 2018 22:36:52 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Thanks everyone but even when the other kids her age approach her she is kinda like
“Nope”...

Like today my wife said one of the other little girls came to her and wanted to hi 5 her, touched her hand and touch her pants and Carlie was just not having it.

And she has done similar at the library... tomorrow taking her for a 10:30 in our town,
So will see how she does.

Again thank you.

That's totally normal and it doesn't mean she's antisocial.  At 18 months about the only interacting they do is bite each other and fight over toys. 

When she's 3 or 4 it will be an entirely different world.

So true. M doesn’t bite, but I jokingly refer to her as Barracuda Bait because she is a bitee- the biters seem to love her. And it often (but not always) starts because M took a toy the biter was playing with. Kids. Thank goodness biting, like everything else, is just a phase.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

18 month olds cannot be anti-social because they aren't developmentally ready to be social to begin with.  18 months olds do not "play" with other children.   They parallel play which is they will play NEXT to another child but don't really interact with them.  

Children don't start to really interact with each other and play together till around 3-5 years of age when their brains have matured enough to start grasping complex social cues.

It's the parents that find this abnormal because we are looking at it from an adult viewpoint. 

I encourage you to observe other children Carlie's age, you'll see what I'm talking about.  Carlie is totally normal for her age it is WAY too early to be assigning her labels or calling her antisocial.  If you keep trying to make her to interact with other kids the way you think she should you're going to get the exact opposite outcome.