chen35
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Post by chen35 on Aug 25, 2017 16:42:14 GMT -5
emma1420 That does make me feel a little better, thank you ETA - I told DH about it and he said, "Don't worry about it. That little guy sleeping upstairs was worth every penny and more"
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Aug 25, 2017 21:01:13 GMT -5
M turns one on Wednesday - where has the last year gone?!? We're not doing her party for a couple of weeks, but of course everyone is asking what she needs. Nothing, people. She's child #2 so she has all of brother's toys, plus tons of clothes from my nieces.
I wish family would gift money for her 529, but both of our families like to give gifts. I found the B Parum Pum Pum Drum set on a neighborhood swap site for $5 so bought that and convinced my mom to *just* give her that - I hope.
Anyone have any other suggestions? We have tons of books, Little People animal sets, indoor small slide, outdoor swing set, push walker, tricycle, Wheely Bug ride on toy, wooden activity cube, little kid piano, etc.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Aug 26, 2017 5:23:52 GMT -5
I wish family would gift money for her 529, but both of our families like to give gifts. OMG me too. I don't need fifty million more clothes and toys. Please but give them college money. Happy early birthday M!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 5:33:55 GMT -5
Consumable gifts. A membership to a children's museum. Tickets to a children's show... Gift card for ice cream place... Music cds, dress up clothes. Im personally not a believer in too many books Is there something you buy for her that you can request and then use savings for 529?
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Aug 26, 2017 6:00:59 GMT -5
Or a photo shoot. My SIL did this every year when her girls were growing up. The photographer came to their home and they were wonderful pictures, much better than what can be gotten at a mall studio.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 26, 2017 6:54:59 GMT -5
I've been asking for consumable or experience gifts. We still end up with way too many toys oh well. Part of the experience I guess.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 26, 2017 6:57:47 GMT -5
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Aug 26, 2017 7:29:20 GMT -5
Consumable gifts. A membership to a children's museum. Tickets to a children's show... Gift card for ice cream place... Music cds, dress up clothes. Im personally not a believer in too many books Is there something you buy for her that you can request and then use savings for 529? We have memberships to the children's museum, science museum, and zoo. Plus our County Museum that has a great kids' area. I'm a mean mom and she won't be eating ice cream or sweets for a while outside of her birthday cake. I'm okay with the thought of more books, though DH disagrees, so I might suggest those. We have nearly every Sandra Boynton board Book she's published, ditto for Llama Llama, Eric Carole, and If you Give a Mouse a Cookie series, plus tons others, but I always see ones we don't have out and about.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Aug 26, 2017 7:31:10 GMT -5
Or a photo shoot. My SIL did this every year when her girls were growing up. The photographer came to their home and they were wonderful pictures, much better than what can be gotten at a mall studio. We're doing this tomorrow. In the past we've done one every year right around DS's birthday. Since he turned 5 this year, I'm flipping it to around DD's birthday and once she's a few years older, we'll probably do it in July between their birthdays. I love pictures, so we do at least one photo shoot with our favorite photographer, and usually at least one other (a mini session around Christmas time).
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Aug 26, 2017 7:37:04 GMT -5
What about DRIPs, stock certificates for kid gifts? There are some that are geared towards kid's interests such as Disney.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 8:12:12 GMT -5
Stop buying those memberships and photo shoots and ask for those as gifts. Unless they already were gifts? Then use the $ saved to fund 529..
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 26, 2017 9:17:49 GMT -5
Great photos, Sam!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 26, 2017 11:35:01 GMT -5
DD has the Angelina Ballerina series. She loved it.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 26, 2017 12:51:26 GMT -5
Dammit! Thing 2 just asked me to put money in her account so she can put gas in her car. I asked what she did with the paycheck she just got. She just started the job, so she only got $60, but that's more than enough to fill her gas tank. She said not to tell, but Thing 1 asked her for money to pay her water bill. She knew better than to ask me. So she gave her the money. Now Thing 2 has no money and her gas tank is on E and she has to go to work today. So I just transferred money into her account. So Thing 1 is still getting the money from me, just not directly.
I said I'm supposed to talk to her this weekend. She said please don't tell her I know. I told her Thing 1 better not call me after I've been drinking or you never know. I told her not to help her anymore. She needs to be an adult and take care of her own shit. Watch her go to my parents next. I'm going to see them today or tomorrow. I'm going to tell them not to help her. They likely will not listen to me and will give her money. Especially if she talks to my dad. He's been wrapped around her finger since she was born. This damn kid! I can't!
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pooks
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Post by pooks on Aug 26, 2017 15:34:36 GMT -5
I just needed someplace to put how much my teenage daughter it burning through money. She is a good kid and it is normal teen stuff. Plus July and August are always tight months anyway, so it feels like a fortune. I know it could be so much worse, if she played a sport.
School shopping- $500 School registration- $55 Driving school- $350 Orchestra fees- $200
Plus she needs a new viola. We have to figure some car situation out and insurance. She needs all 4 of her wisdom teeth removed, probably during Christmas break (this after 2 phases of braces). All this in addition to the amount we put away for college savings each year.
Rant over.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Aug 26, 2017 16:41:59 GMT -5
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one dealing with teens andi9899 and pooks. I feel quilty when I rant about my teens, but it's good to know that I'm not alone. Hang in there, we're so close to getting them into adulthood. I think I should probably print this and tape it everywhere in my house.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Aug 26, 2017 17:54:25 GMT -5
Dh power washed the composite deck at our new house. Probably permanent etch marks because you're not supposed to do that. I was already mad that he ducked out of sat morning house chores to do that...wasn't even noticeably dirty. Now I'm livid.
Plus it plays into a never ending argument where he complains that I always tell him he's doing things wrong so why bother. Um, a simple Google afterwards told me it was a bad idea. FML.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Aug 26, 2017 18:18:20 GMT -5
Dh power washed the composite deck at our new house. Probably permanent etch marks because you're not supposed to do that. I was already mad that he ducked out of sat morning house chores to do that...wasn't even noticeably dirty. Now I'm livid. Plus it plays into a never ending argument where he complains that I always tell him he's doing things wrong so why bother. Um, a simple Google afterwards told me it was a bad idea. FML. We have that argument too, all the time. Then I bite my tongue and he fucks something up. It sucks.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 21:48:54 GMT -5
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one dealing with teens andi9899 and pooks . I feel quilty when I rant about my teens, but it's good to know that I'm not alone. Hang in there, we're so close to getting them into adulthood. I think I should probably print this and tape it everywhere in my house. Is there an exit plan for the 19 year old? I don't have an issue with my kids staying past 18 if they're going to school or something, but they better damn well better be appreciative of the fact. If they're making my life miserable at that point, it's time for them to go.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 26, 2017 22:20:59 GMT -5
Talking of 529 - when did you start one? Have a particular goal in mind to put away / per month / per year ?
Carlie is almost 8 months old and we still have not started the savings account for her or the 529.
I guess the fact she is still a baby makes it easier to postpone it and keep postponing it?
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 26, 2017 23:14:13 GMT -5
Talking of 529 - when did you start one? Have a particular goal in mind to put away / per month / per year ? Carlie is almost 8 months old and we still have not started the savings account for her or the 529. I guess the fact she is still a baby makes it easier to postpone it and keep postponing it? Lol, Aly is 6 and we don't have one for her yet. You have time.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 23:34:08 GMT -5
I started both kids 529s right away, but I knew I was going to need time on my side because my contributions were never going to be a lot. I set them at $100/month/kid and that's never changed. I don't expect to ever increase them either. I am blessed in that my Dad and stepmom are doing a similar amount for each into a UGMA account every month, so this should end up being enough for us.
However, I do think priority-wise it should come after making sure your own house is in order. Definitely retirement should be on track before putting a bunch aside for college.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Aug 27, 2017 3:57:12 GMT -5
Ummmmm, I'm the nerdy grandma who puts money for the DGSs into a 529, though I will admit that is mostly because I know can't stop once I start buying toys . And my kids could have each opened an independent toy store with all the stuff they got. It's what happens when your aunts and uncles have that same problem as your mom, and one of your great aunts actually HAS a toy store.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Aug 27, 2017 5:05:44 GMT -5
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one dealing with teens andi9899 and pooks . I feel quilty when I rant about my teens, but it's good to know that I'm not alone. Hang in there, we're so close to getting them into adulthood. I think I should probably print this and tape it everywhere in my house. Is there an exit plan for the 19 year old? I don't have an issue with my kids staying past 18 if they're going to school or something, but they better damn well better be appreciative of the fact. If they're making my life miserable at that point, it's time for them to go. Well, I have to give her credit, she's in nursing school and should have her RN license sometime next fall, and works PT which she will have to cut back her hours even more. It's not so much that she's here, it's more of the fact that she just plops her stuff on the kitchen table to the point that you can't see the top, and the trash can is just a few steps away. She leave the kitchen a mess and doesn't clean up after herself, same with the bathroom. I've quit doing her laundry and you can't hardly open her bedroom door because it's such a mess. It's more that she is constantly gone and spending money, granted it her money, but I can't continue to support her on my own. She does pay her truck payment and insurance, but her leaving me to take care of her dogs, her $100 phone payment, just her phone alone, the 30 minute showers when she's here (I don't have a well, so it's a water utility) and the electricity that she uses (leaves lights on in which ever room she was just in). I feel like I'm being drained financially every month because it's always something. Besides, DS is starting to pick up her bad habits. She really is a great young adult, but I don't know how to get her to understand that she needs to save some of her money for things that come up instead of asking the bank of Mom to help her pay for things that she wasn't expecting.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 27, 2017 8:03:29 GMT -5
Is there an exit plan for the 19 year old? I don't have an issue with my kids staying past 18 if they're going to school or something, but they better damn well better be appreciative of the fact. If they're making my life miserable at that point, it's time for them to go. Well, I have to give her credit, she's in nursing school and should have her RN license sometime next fall, and works PT which she will have to cut back her hours even more. It's not so much that she's here, it's more of the fact that she just plops her stuff on the kitchen table to the point that you can't see the top, and the trash can is just a few steps away. She leave the kitchen a mess and doesn't clean up after herself, same with the bathroom. I've quit doing her laundry and you can't hardly open her bedroom door because it's such a mess. It's more that she is constantly gone and spending money, granted it her money, but I can't continue to support her on my own. She does pay her truck payment and insurance, but her leaving me to take care of her dogs, her $100 phone payment, just her phone alone, the 30 minute showers when she's here (I don't have a well, so it's a water utility) and the electricity that she uses (leaves lights on in which ever room she was just in). I feel like I'm being drained financially every month because it's always something. Besides, DS is starting to pick up her bad habits. She really is a great young adult, but I don't know how to get her to understand that she needs to save some of her money for things that come up instead of asking the bank of Mom to help her pay for things that she wasn't expecting. She's young and sometimes they're sloppy. That being said, she's in a stressful program and sometimes the necessary things get pushed aside. It's too bad her cell phone is that high. Both my kids are $45 a month but they're on my plan so it's an extra besides mine and mine is $58. Can you get hers cheaper? I don't care about doing extra laundry and the 30 minute shower can be fixed by making her wash hair at kitchen sink and then setting a timer in bathroom and then shutting off water. I only had to do the timer thing twice before the message got through. Sometimes they're letting the water run while they're doing something else not even shower related. Lights? Well DH was a grown adult and did the same darn thing. That only stops when she pays her electric bill. I have issue with the dogs. Someone not supporting themselves has no business having dependents. I had the same problem with DD and still do but my support of her ends in another month so I'm almost home free. Will she have school loans?
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Aug 27, 2017 8:07:34 GMT -5
Is there an exit plan for the 19 year old? I don't have an issue with my kids staying past 18 if they're going to school or something, but they better damn well better be appreciative of the fact. If they're making my life miserable at that point, it's time for them to go. Well, I have to give her credit, she's in nursing school and should have her RN license sometime next fall, and works PT which she will have to cut back her hours even more. It's not so much that she's here, it's more of the fact that she just plops her stuff on the kitchen table to the point that you can't see the top, and the trash can is just a few steps away. She leave the kitchen a mess and doesn't clean up after herself, same with the bathroom. I've quit doing her laundry and you can't hardly open her bedroom door because it's such a mess. It's more that she is constantly gone and spending money, granted it her money, but I can't continue to support her on my own. She does pay her truck payment and insurance, but her leaving me to take care of her dogs, her $100 phone payment, just her phone alone, the 30 minute showers when she's here (I don't have a well, so it's a water utility) and the electricity that she uses (leaves lights on in which ever room she was just in). I feel like I'm being drained financially every month because it's always something. Besides, DS is starting to pick up her bad habits. She really is a great young adult, but I don't know how to get her to understand that she needs to save some of her money for things that come up instead of asking the bank of Mom to help her pay for things that she wasn't expecting. You have to start saying NO. Sit her down and explain that things will be changing from now on. She needs to pay for her own dog food, cell phone and unexpected expenses. Since water and electricity aren't free, she is expected to pay $xx per month until the bill is $xxx or less (perhaps half the current bills). There is no more free maid service. She needs to learn to clean up after herself or pay someone to do it. I suggest that you start charging her $5 for each time that you clean up the kitchen. Sit DS down and age a similar conversation. E.g. Bank of Mom is closed. Does she have a hamper for the dirty clothes?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 27, 2017 8:09:31 GMT -5
I just talked to my aunt and it could be worse. Her granddaughter has 42k of school loans for a frickin LPN degree. I checked the program and the most they say you needed was 16k a year. I guess they've stretched it to a two year program instead of one like it used to be so at the most 32k and she's been one for a few years so that's current tuition fees and living expenses. What did she spend an extra 10k on? Plus her lovely employer subsidized insurance has a 6k deductible and she had gall bladder surgery. So she owes another 6k. Her loan payment is $105 a month so she'll owe until she dies and she'll have to forget about becoming an RN.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 27, 2017 8:11:52 GMT -5
She's relegated to working in a nursing home with that degree and we know how well that pays.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Aug 27, 2017 8:14:18 GMT -5
Dh power washed the composite deck at our new house. Probably permanent etch marks because you're not supposed to do that. I was already mad that he ducked out of sat morning house chores to do that...wasn't even noticeably dirty. Now I'm livid. Plus it plays into a never ending argument where he complains that I always tell him he's doing things wrong so why bother. Um, a simple Google afterwards told me it was a bad idea. FML. We have that argument too, all the time. Then I bite my tongue and he fucks something up. It sucks. It really does suck because it's constantly lose - lose over and over again.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 27, 2017 8:14:20 GMT -5
Well, I have to give her credit, she's in nursing school and should have her RN license sometime next fall, and works PT which she will have to cut back her hours even more. It's not so much that she's here, it's more of the fact that she just plops her stuff on the kitchen table to the point that you can't see the top, and the trash can is just a few steps away. She leave the kitchen a mess and doesn't clean up after herself, same with the bathroom. I've quit doing her laundry and you can't hardly open her bedroom door because it's such a mess. It's more that she is constantly gone and spending money, granted it her money, but I can't continue to support her on my own. She does pay her truck payment and insurance, but her leaving me to take care of her dogs, her $100 phone payment, just her phone alone, the 30 minute showers when she's here (I don't have a well, so it's a water utility) and the electricity that she uses (leaves lights on in which ever room she was just in). I feel like I'm being drained financially every month because it's always something. Besides, DS is starting to pick up her bad habits. She really is a great young adult, but I don't know how to get her to understand that she needs to save some of her money for things that come up instead of asking the bank of Mom to help her pay for things that she wasn't expecting. You have to start saying NO. Sit her down and explain that things will be changing from now on. She needs to pay for her own dog food, cell phone and unexpected expenses. Since water and electricity aren't free, she is expected to pay $xx per month until the bill is $xxx or less (perhaps half the current bills). There is no more free maid service. She needs to learn to clean up after herself or pay someone to do it. I suggest that you start charging her $5 for each time that you clean up the kitchen. Sit DS down and age a similar conversation. E.g. Bank of Mom is closed. Does she have a hamper for the dirty clothes? Her daughter is in a very demanding program. I'm surprised she's allowed to work at a job. That being said she needs to get a different job, such as a server where she can pick up weekend shifts and make more money while she can.
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