Tips for gift registry?

[Firebird]

People have started asking me about our registry, and I want to make sure we don't make any stupid gaffes.

What should I know about registering for wedding gifts? DF and I have lived together for a year so we're pretty set on the basics. He has been picking out REI gear that we need since we're pretty outdoorsy. I told him to pick items that varied widely in price (I do know that much).

I was thinking I could do one more registry after that with more traditional stuff. We could REALLY use the following, in this order:

-Towels. OMG towels.
-Bedsheets and pillows.
-Glasses - wine and regular
-Coffee table
-Bedside table and/or chest of drawers
-Closet organizing materials, i.e. shoe tree

So what would be a good place to register for some of that stuff? IKEA? BB&B?

We'll have the registry info on our wedding website, with the website URL in the invitations. That's okay, right? Since it doesn't directly reference the registry?

Feel free to share any other useful information even if it seems obvious...

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

We registered at Target because it was easiest but they have a bitch of a return policy and people have complained about problems with their online registries. We had no problems with our registry, but every experience is different and seems to vary by individual Target store.

[shanendoah]

I registered at BB&B and Sears (chest freezer from the grandparents, yay) because they were national chains which all my relatives could access, and I could add things that were available online but not in the store (like the chest freezer).
I've had numerous friends register at Target for things like movies and music- inexpensive stuff that their friends could get them.
But, only register somewhere that you are willing to shop yourself, for items that you would buy for yourself. No point in registering for towels you'll hate or a coffee table that's so expensive you're afraid to put a drink on it.

Yes, having the invitation reference the wedding website if fine. You have more there than just the registry- you have (I'm assuming) an "our story" section, pictures of the ring, perhaps pictures of the venue, possibly pictures from an engagement photo shoot (okay, I'm pretty certain you don't have the last one, but all my southern relatives do) - its a spot for people to get to know the two of you as a couple.

[Firebird]

Yes, having the invitation reference the wedding website if fine. You have more there than just the registry- you have (I'm assuming) an "our story" section, pictures of the ring, perhaps pictures of the venue, possibly pictures from an engagement photo shoot (okay, I'm pretty certain you don't have the last one, but all my southern relatives do) - its a spot for people to get to know the two of you as a couple.

Yes on our story, yes on pictures of the venue, no on pictures of the ring, possibly yes on engagement photos (depends on how much I like them, haha).

I'll send you the URL if you want, even though it isn't done yet.

[Tiny]

I think you are pretty safe with any of the big retailers - local ones for me are Crate and Barrel, Target, BBandB - all of those stores have an on-line presence (can access the registry, can shop and have delivered without actually setting foot in the store!).

Those were the 3 places on recent shower invites I've had. I had no problems accessing the on-line registries. I did shop in person though.

I'd proofread your registry (or have someone uninvolved in the selection process do it) - one of the Brides accidentally entered 11 as a quantity on a baking pan set. It made for a bit of humor at the Shower each time another set was opened! I think she had 6 sets when the wrapping paper settled - I lost count.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

When looking at other people's gift registries, I find it helpful when they list their color preferences for various items and rooms in their home... because I'm a wee bit rebellious and don't always buy EXACTLY what they registered for.

I think Target and B/B/B are good options, but of the 2 I tend to find more things I can really use (and more choices) at Target. And when I'm shopping for myself, I find the best towels at stores like HomeGoods, TJMAxx, etc. (designer towels on sale.!)

We actually kept our registry VERY simple (we registered at a department store chain) since we were combining two households and didn't really need a lot of things for the kitchen, for example. We listed sheet sizes for master bedroom and guest room with 3-4 color options, towel colors for 2 bathrooms, table linens/placemat colors, etc. We didn't register for everyday dishes or fine china, but we did mention that we would love to have accessory pieces of china that would match our pattern (which we listed.)

We also noted that in lieu of gifts, a donation to the charity of their choice would also be very welcome ~ and a number of people took us up on that suggestion.

[shanendoah]

I'm just wondering why I don't already have the URL

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

May 11, 2011 11:45:59 GMT -5 Tiny said:

I'd proofread your registry (or have someone uninvolved in the selection process do it) - one of the Brides accidentally entered 11 as a quantity on a baking pan set. It made for a bit of humor at the Shower each time another set was opened! I think she had 6 sets when the wrapping paper settled - I lost count.

;D ;D ;D

We ended up with THREE glass covered cake stands (and didn't even register for one!)

[shanendoah]

OOh, sheet/towel sizes and colors are good. I actually buy most of my towels and sheets at CostCo, and find that I get quality for a really good price, and it would be nice to be able to do that as a wedding gift, too

[sil]

We were really happy with our BB&B registry. Their stores are everywhere, and pretty much everyone knows they can use those 20% off coupons to buy your registry items for less.

I didnt use Target for our wedding registry, but I did for our baby registry. Agree, that it wasnt as easy/user friendly.

IKEA stores arent everywhere, but understand that you are also registering for small furniture items too. If IKEA furniture matches your home decor (I can never find stuff there that works for ours) then it sounds like a good alternative choice.

A few registry observations I've noted:

Decorative or fun items tend to be bought first, so if you're really hoping to get some practical stuff, don't register for a lot of spa items, camping gear, candlesticks, etc.

If you register for a full set of china, crystal, or expensive flatware, expect to end up with just a couple of random plates, glasses and knives that dont match anything else you own.

People who only want to spend $50 for a gift don't like expensive registries, where you can only afford to buy a set of napkin rings. Worse yet are registries that have nothing below the $100 price tag (I already know you wouldnt do this)

[michelyn8]

My nephew and his wife were registered at Target and another place I had never heard of (and don't remember). They also listed color preferences but not for specific items and noted they were both kind of outdoorsy and had a more contemporary style.

I purchased their gift from Target and was able to have it shipped directly to them from the store (arrived after the wedding). I don't know about any return issues since the thank you card indicated they had planned on buying what I gave them but mine arrived before they could.

[illinicheme]

We registered at Crate and Barrel, Williams-Sonoma, and Home Depot. We made sure to list items at a variety of different price points. At the end of the day, we actually didn't register for that many items, because we had lots of stuff already. We used the registry as a chance to request some nicer pots/pans/knives than we had, as well as get some tools that we needed (nice drill, etc).

As for communicating the registry information, is that even really necessary in this day and age? Every wedding I've been to in the past several years it's been very easy to look up the registry online with nothing more than a name.

[Deleted]

IDK if you care about "social propriety", but Miss Manners says that the registry information should not be included with the wedding invitation, because it looks like a money grab. Anyone wanting to know about where the couple is registered should be able to ask a friend or family member of the couple (who should be in the know).

We had registries at Target, Macy's and Williams Sonoma to cover all price ranges.

[whoisjohngalt]

I am super lazy and have very short attention span, so the combination of two would stop me from going to 500 different places that you registered at. Pick a place, one place! Pick a place like Macy's (just an example) where I can get you $5 towels when they go on sale or $150 dinner place setting. Or a coffee table, if I want to drag one to the wedding Even if I don't get you that table, you will at least have a discount on it when you buy it yourself. Don't register for a $3 can opener bc that will make your list 10 pages longer and I'll loose interest by page #2.

The point is, make it simple and enjoyable for people to get you stuff.

Lena

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I had a friend whose registry was over 12 pages long. My dad commented that they must have pointed the gun at every single item in the store. Pretty much.

[swamp]

I registered at JCPenney, covered all the basics.

The best shower gift I got was a wheel barrow filled with towels. The best wedding present was a chainsaw. We use them all the time.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Gift cards are tricky, a lot of the books say it is tacky because youa re basically asking for cash and if people want to get you a gift card, they will get you one without being told to do so.

I erred on the side of caution because I'd never hear the end of it from certain family members if I had committed a faux paus. I got several gift cards despite not registering for them.

If you want cash/gift cards the best way to do it is not register for tangible gifts at all.

[Firebird]

IDK if you care about "social propriety", but Miss Manners says that the registry information should not be included with the wedding invitation, because it looks like a money grab. Anyone wanting to know about where the couple is registered should be able to ask a friend or family member of the couple (who should be in the know).

I would never write ON the invitation "we're registered at Target, here's the link" but I think including the URL to the wedding website is okay - as shanendoah pointed out, there's much more there than our registry info. For starters, it includes the location of the ceremony and reception, maps, important notes about hotel info, and travel information.

I hope this suggestion is not considered tacky. If you want equipment from REI, which can be pricey, ask for gift cards and you can order the items on line. I agree to specify colors and sizes for the towels and bedding. The wedding registry is just a guide.

I cherry picked items from DF's REI wish list for the registry. The cheapest item is about $10, the most expensive is about $300. Most of the items I picked fall somewhere in the middle. Average is probably about $70.

I tried to stay away from specific clothing items and stick with basic equipment we still need, like a small camping stove and a bear vault.

I'm leaning toward checking their "allow gift cards?" check box. Gift cards are fine, if people don't want to pick specific items. We still need plenty of stuff I didn't put down there.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

When are you getting married again Firebird? Try to stay away from things that are highly seasonal because they will often be gone by the time you get married. We had a few baby clothes disappear from my baby registry because apparently they were seasonal, but I didn't care, the pattern wasn't important to me and it was only a couple of items.

If you really want a particular design/model it's better to get it yourself now than wait. If you don't care and just want that particular brand of towel then don't worry about it.

That was something that was on the wedding boards a lot that brides wanted this particular thing in a particular color/design and it'd be gone by the time people started buying wedding gifts.

[Firebird]

When are you getting married again Firebird?

October.

REI sells pretty much the same stuff year round and nothing else we want is seasonal. Good point though.

[reader79]

I'm glad you're not waiting until the last minute to set this up. For the wedding I went to last week, the bride updated the wedding page with their registry details a week prior to the event. It was a honeymoon registry, so nothing would have had to be shipped, but sheesh. I had already taken a collection from my parents/sisters and gave them a card with cash.

The REI registry sounds fun and appropriate, given that you'll use the items together. Just remember to have a few things like pasta makers for grandmothers to gift.

[cael]

We registered at BB&B, because Sir loves that store and because they're all over the place! Since we've lived together 4 years we really don't "need" anything either, so a lot of the stuff we put on there will be replacements for old or busted up things we already have. New sheets, towels, towels etc., some nicer dishes than our plain white corelle, new baking stuff, new silverware (ours is crap), nicer glasses than the plastic walmart ones we usually use, some kitchen gadgets, a few fun things. Sir's sister (and my mother agreed) said we needed to register for china, even though we kinda didn't want to since we wouldn't really use it in our apartment - we realized BB&B does have some nice looking cheap china, so luckily we didn't need to go to a separate place for that.

Firebird is your website on theknot? If so send me a link, I'll send you mine! (we don't have much on it, lol... just some info that I need to update for our traveling guests)

[Firebird]

PM'd you, cael. As I said to shanendoah, it's not done yet but the major sections are pretty much there. I did it through weddingchannel.com, which is a branch of theknot (I believe).

[cael]

I like yours better though than ours on the knot - I actually kind of hate the knot, lol, but some of the pictures & ideas were useful and fun to look through. The girls on the boards seem like idiotic catty biatches for the most part!

[thyme4change]

I'd go with a JCPenny's or even Macy's. They have plenty of stuff in all price ranges, and the quality will be a bit better than BBB. I have had mixed luck with their stuff.

I would highly, highly suggest you get really nice daily dinnerware, unless you already have some. I know several couples who didn't, and after a couple years they became frustrated that they were always eating off of mismatched, chipped hand-me downs. It doesn't seem important when you are young, but as you age, having something that is just high quality and pleasant every day at the end of your day is just a little thing that improves your life. It also makes your homecooked meals appear nicer. You want to have 8-10 matching plates, so if you have kids, you can have another family over and have matching plates. Even if you plan on never having kids, you might want to invite over 2 couples, or another couple that turns into a family.

That is my 42 year old view on my 15 year old wedding presents. I'm still happy that I got daily dishes. I really like them, and they add value to my life. The towels are long gone, the sheets are long gone - but those dishes, still used, constantly.

[Firebird]

I like yours better though than ours on the knot - I actually kind of hate the knot, lol, but some of the pictures & ideas were useful and fun to look through. The girls on the boards seem like idiotic catty biatches for the most part!

I. Hate. The. Knot.

With every fiber of my being. UGH!! Every time I open my freaking email now, I have ten solicitations from that !@#$ website. I should never have signed up for that.

That is my 42 year old view on my 15 year old wedding presents. I'm still happy that I got daily dishes. I really like them, and they add value to my life. The towels are long gone, the sheets are long gone - but those dishes, still used, constantly.

I don't know about the proverbial china patterns, but I agree with this. We got a really nice (at least I thought so) four-person dinnerware set from Wal*Mart for Christmas the first year we were together. Red and black, very simple and classy design that goes with everything we own, easy to clean, don't break easily. Perfect for us.

The following year we received an identical set! I was stoked. Now we have a set of eight and/or extras for when the dishes inevitably chip or break.

It's a nice set and I'm happy with it. It has mugs, two sizes of plates, and bowls. We also got the matching serving platter.

[illinicheme]

I'm happy to have registered for daily dishes as well. We had some dishes before we got married, but some where mismatched, and most got REALLY hot in the microware. I picked out some nice, white, classic porcelain dishes from Crate and Barrel. (Did a pre-test by buying a single plate and bowl and testing them out in the microwave to ensure that the "scald yourself" factor was sufficiently low.)

I did not register for china, because I didn't see the point and I didn't want to store it.

[thyme4change]

Also - register for a couple of special "What the Hell" pieces. We registered for an expensive wine holder. I didn't expect to get it, but one of my more successful co-workers bought it for us. I love that thing. We still use it often. I also put a couple serving platters that I thought would be versitile. I love those. They are Nambe, which are expensive, but I can put it out with my good china, or throw veges on it and take it out by the pool - not breakable!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

With every fiber of my being. UGH!! Every time I open my freaking email now, I have ten solicitations from that !@#$ website. I should never have signed up for that. \

I was still getting them two years after I got married. Wedding spam finally stopped showing up about six months ago.

[msgumby]

We set up a "honeyfund" where we could have people sponsor parts of our honeymoon or contribute to non-traditional presents. We had been living together for almost 10 years when we got married, and had no need/desire for most traditional wedding presents. We did want a lot of new scuba gear, some movies, and we were paying for an expensive cruise for our honeymoon. We set it up with a link to each item, so people would know what we wanted, but we actually had to purchase all of the scuba gear before the wedding (we were using it on the honeymoon) so people just reimbursed us for the purchases. The pros of this were that it fit our personalities, we could make gifts at any price to have a lot of available price ranges, and we got a ton of compliments that it was more fun to pick out gifts than traditional registries. I was worried it looked tacky to be just asking for money, but we did use the money to buy the items and were able to get what we really wanted (and select the color, size, etc.... for everything). We also bought all of those items on sale - I'm great at researching prices and we got some really good deals that our guests wouldn't have been able to get. I did get a few questions as to why the dollar amount I asked for was way less than the dollar amount listed in the link I provided for the item. We also added in a few items like "sponser dinner out on the town" or "sponsor one night of the cruise" but people generally liked the items more than those other things.

On another note - I've heard good things about BB&Bs return policy for wedding registries. This was about 5 years ago, so it may have changed, but from what I heard you were able to return anything you changed your mind about. I would definitely check into the return policy before picking a registry. You may change your mind, or people may get you the wrong color/size/style of something. You also may end up with too many or too few of certain items, so having a good return policy can be important.

Related to your comments above about wedding ads, I got soooo pissed of wedding sites advertisements during that time. It seemed like everything I did online (wedding-related) would come with an add about how quickly I could lose those 5-10 pounds so I could look perfect on my wedding day.