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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 18:48:34 GMT -5
Do you consider a person a "single parent" if they have their child 50% of the time? The other parent has 50% custody.
A "single mom" tried using that excuse to get a break. "I am a single mom and this affects my child." I happen to know the child's father and his family. I know that child does not go without anything. Edited: The child is with her dad every-other week.
I have been noticing "single moms" looking for sympathy.
To me a single mom is when the child's father died (or is a deadbeat) and she has them 100% of the time.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 28, 2024 18:55:35 GMT -5
I consider a single parent to be a parent who has to take care of their child alone, whether that be 50% of the time or 100% of the time.
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 19:05:26 GMT -5
I consider a single parent to be a parent who has to take care of their child alone, whether that be 50% of the time or 100% of the time. She is a single parent 50% of the time. |
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 28, 2024 19:08:43 GMT -5
I consider a single parent to be a parent who has to take care of their child alone, whether that be 50% of the time or 100% of the time. She is a single parent 50% of the time. I'm assuming you don't have kids.  |
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 19:14:15 GMT -5
A divorced woman I know was saying how much easier it is when your kids aren't there all of the time. I would imagine it is. It's every other week you have to get them to and from school, homework, sports, supper, etc.
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 19:16:52 GMT -5
She is a single parent 50% of the time. I'm assuming you don't have kids. I don't have kids. My parents were divorced. One week I was my dad's responsibility and the next week I was my mom's responsibility. I never heard either one of them complaining about being a "single parent". Edited: That was before "single parent" became a thing. LOL |
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on May 28, 2024 19:17:13 GMT -5
A "single mom" tried using that excuse to get a break. "I am a single mom and this affects my child." Does what she wanted to get a break from negatively impact her child. |
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 19:21:01 GMT -5
A "single mom" tried using that excuse to get a break. "I am a single mom and this affects my child." Does what she wanted to get a break from negatively impact her child. No. She wanted a bigger tax return because she is a single mom. It had nothing to do with the child. She was not able to claim her child as a dependent that year. (Court ordered every other year.) |
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 28, 2024 19:31:34 GMT -5
I'm assuming you don't have kids. I don't have kids. My parents were divorced. One week I was my dad's responsibility and the next week I was my mom's responsibility. I never heard either one of them complaining about being a "single parent". Edited: That was before "single parent" became a thing. LOL I would never complain to my kids about being a single parent either. But that doesn't change that it's hard not having help. It's way easier to have kids with a dependable partner for all 14 days than have it 100% on you for 7 then nothing for 7. Depending on the age/number of kids you can lose your sanity by day two or three without someone to take them when you need to go to the bathroom or get the mail or when you're lying in bed with a migraine or the flu. |
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 28, 2024 19:35:54 GMT -5
A "single mom" tried using that excuse to get a break. "I am a single mom and this affects my child." Does what she wanted to get a break from negatively impact her child. No. She wanted a bigger tax return because she is a single mom. It had nothing to do with the child. She was not able to claim her child as a dependent that year. (Court ordered every other year.) So, the single dad is getting the tax break.  |
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on May 28, 2024 19:40:28 GMT -5
A "single mom" tried using that excuse to get a break. "I am a single mom and this affects my child." Does what she wanted to get a break from negatively impact her child. No. She wanted a bigger tax return because she is a single mom. It had nothing to do with the child. She was not able to claim her child as a dependent that year. (Court ordered every other year.) A reduction (and an increase) in household income does affect all members of a household. This reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbs strip in which Calvin responds to being told "life isn't fair" with "I know that but how come it isn't ever unfair in my favor?" |
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on May 28, 2024 19:42:52 GMT -5
Do you consider a person a "single parent" if they have their child 50% of the time? The other parent has 50% custody. A "single mom" tried using that excuse to get a break. "I am a single mom and this affects my child." I happen to know the child's father and his family. I know that child does not go without anything. Edited: The child is with her dad every-other week. I have been noticing "single moms" looking for sympathy. To me a single mom is when the child's father died (or is a deadbeat) and she has them 100% of the time. I was a single Mom. I had a decent support network, and as grateful as I was for that, it did not change the fact that the day to day responsibilities of raising my children and making decisions for and regarding them, was all on me. Their Dad was not supportive in any way, including consistent financial support. So I do have a soft spot for single parents, doing most of the work by themselves, whether they are Mom or Dad. Even with 50/50 custody, things do not conveniently happen on schedule. If something out of the ordinary happens during Mom’s time with the children, and she needs Dad’s help to tend to the child(ren) or help make things work…… If he doesn’t cooperate because it’s not *his* time, then she has to operate as a single parent and do what needs to be done for the child(ren). Just like with anything else, of course some single Mom’s use their situation as an excuse for bad behavior or their irresponsibility. Replace “single Mom” with another description, and there will be people that try to use whatever as an excuse. I disagree with what you consider a single Mom. My SO is an involved parent, but I consider both of his children’s mothers to be single Moms. That is because the Moms are responsible for all of the day to day work that goes into raising the children. He has never been just a “weekend Dad”, he is involved and spends time with them whether it’s “his” time or not. But it’s just facts that if he doesn’t want to deal with his children, he can just say no, it’s not my weekend. If he doesn’t want to spend more money on them than he is legally required to pay in child support, he can just say no, I’m not doing that. The Moms don’t have those options. Well, not if they are trying to be good Moms. IMO. And FTR, he doesn’t do any of that, I’m just saying that he could if he wanted to. The definition of a “single Mom” is not as cut and dried as what you said. |
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 19:46:50 GMT -5
No. She wanted a bigger tax return because she is a single mom. It had nothing to do with the child. She was not able to claim her child as a dependent that year. (Court ordered every other year.) So, the single dad is getting the tax break. The single dad gets the tax break odd years. The single mom gets the tax break even years. Oh no! What if the Dad wants me to pity him the next tax year? |
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 19:49:08 GMT -5
I don't have kids. My parents were divorced. One week I was my dad's responsibility and the next week I was my mom's responsibility. I never heard either one of them complaining about being a "single parent". Edited: That was before "single parent" became a thing. LOL I would never complain to my kids about being a single parent either. But that doesn't change that it's hard not having help. It's way easier to have kids with a dependable partner for all 14 days than have it 100% on you for 7 then nothing for 7. Depending on the age/number of kids you can lose your sanity by day two or three without someone to take them when you need to go to the bathroom or get the mail or when you're lying in bed with a migraine or the flu. I think my parents didn't complain because they shared responsibilities and expenses. There were three kids, ages 6 to 13 when they first divorced. They were pretty flexible with time. FWIW - They were Republicans. |
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 19:51:01 GMT -5
No. She wanted a bigger tax return because she is a single mom. It had nothing to do with the child. She was not able to claim her child as a dependent that year. (Court ordered every other year.) A reduction (and an increase) in household income does affect all members of a household. This reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbs strip in which Calvin responds to being told "life isn't fair" with "I know that but how come it isn't ever unfair in my favor?" What, as an income tax preparer, could we have done for her? What could the IRS do for her? |
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 28, 2024 19:53:50 GMT -5
So, the single dad is getting the tax break. The single dad gets the tax break odd years. The single mom gets the tax break even years. Oh no! What if the Dad wants me to pity him the next tax year? This was your first sentence in your OP
I consider both of them single to be single parents. And also, I might add, just because you know the father's family doesn't mean you really know how the parenting is going. Just because a divorce decree says 50/50 does not always mean that's how it's actually going down. My kid's dad just has him every other weekend and Wednesday evenings, but I have to make sure to get our son to any school/scout related activities that fall on those weekends because he won't.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 28, 2024 19:59:20 GMT -5
I would never complain to my kids about being a single parent either. But that doesn't change that it's hard not having help. It's way easier to have kids with a dependable partner for all 14 days than have it 100% on you for 7 then nothing for 7. Depending on the age/number of kids you can lose your sanity by day two or three without someone to take them when you need to go to the bathroom or get the mail or when you're lying in bed with a migraine or the flu. I think my parents didn't complain because they shared responsibilities and expenses. There were three kids, ages 6 to 13 when they first divorced. They were pretty flexible with time. FWIW - They were Republicans.What exactly does that have to do with anything? My divorced parents were Republicans too. Must mean they divorce more?  Also my dad only came to see me on Christmas Eve every year even though he only lived 2 hours away.
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 20:01:50 GMT -5
The single dad gets the tax break odd years. The single mom gets the tax break even years. Oh no! What if the Dad wants me to pity him the next tax year? This was your first sentence in your OP
I consider both of them single to be single parents. And also, I might add, just because you know the father's family doesn't mean you really know how the parenting is going. Just because a divorce decree says 50/50 does not always mean that's how it's actually going down. My kid's dad just has him every other weekend and Wednesday evenings, but I have to make sure to get our son to any school/scout related activities that fall on those weekends because he won't.
I consider them single parents 50% of the time. In this case, both parents and grandparents are involved in the child's life. (probably four Easter baskets, two Christmas dinners, two birthday parties.) My friend's children had parents and step-parents. That means grandparents and step-grandparents. At first communion and other events, their family took up two pews. Lucky kids. They were loved by all. |
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 20:03:52 GMT -5
I think my parents didn't complain because they shared responsibilities and expenses. There were three kids, ages 6 to 13 when they first divorced. They were pretty flexible with time. FWIW - They were Republicans.What exactly does that have to do with anything? My divorced parents were Republicans too. Must mean they divorce more? Also my dad only came to see me on Christmas Eve every year even though he only lived 2 hours away.
Being Republican means their thinking was different. I thought maybe that was why they didn't ask for help or complain. I don't think they complained to their tax preparer. |
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on May 28, 2024 20:14:11 GMT -5
So, the single dad is getting the tax break. The single dad gets the tax break odd years. The single mom gets the tax break even years. Oh no! What if the Dad wants me to pity him the next tax year? Mouth sympathy words and move on. |
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 28, 2024 20:19:32 GMT -5
What exactly does that have to do with anything? My divorced parents were Republicans too. Must mean they divorce more? Also my dad only came to see me on Christmas Eve every year even though he only lived 2 hours away.
Being Republican means their thinking was different. I thought maybe that was why they didn't ask for help or complain. I don't think they complained to their tax preparer. When it comes to taxes a lot of people in this country are clueless. I can see where she might have been shocked and in a bit of a panic with the change in her taxes with losing HOH status and the credits that come with claiming a dependent, especially if this is the first year and she hadn't prepared by withholding enough.
When it comes to parenting, you have no clue what it involves, nor do you know what this woman (or the man) is going through, you're just speculating. Just because your parents didn't need help or complain (that you know of), doesn't mean everyone is having the same awesome coparenting experience that they did.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on May 28, 2024 20:19:32 GMT -5
A reduction (and an increase) in household income does affect all members of a household. This reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbs strip in which Calvin responds to being told "life isn't fair" with "I know that but how come it isn't ever unfair in my favor?" What, as an income tax preparer, could we have done for her? What could the IRS do for her? As an income tax preparer, nothing. As a human being, be compassionate. I know, I know, I am just joking. |
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 20:30:01 GMT -5
She won't be complaining next year. Hopefully she has enough withholding on her paychecks. If she doesn't, whose fault would it be? Us or Baby Daddy?
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on May 28, 2024 20:33:31 GMT -5
She won't be complaining next year. Hopefully she has enough withholding on her paychecks. If she doesn't, whose fault would it be? Ripping on her for the "single mom" thing didn't go so well so moving on to a hypothetical? |
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2024 20:50:14 GMT -5
She won't be complaining next year. Hopefully she has enough withholding on her paychecks. If she doesn't, whose fault would it be? Ripping on her for the "single mom" thing didn't go so well so moving on to a hypothetical? She wanted us to get her a bigger refund because she is a "single mom" and it affects her child. She asked in the office and then she emailed. There was nothing I could do. I used the withholding amounts on her W-2. I could not help her. Her income was too high for Earned Income Tax Credit and the WI Homestead Credit. What else could she do as a "single mom"? Should she get special tax breaks? In this situation, the father is involved in the child's life so he gets to claim her as a dependent every other year. Sometimes I don't think people realize that we all use the same tax forms and tax tables. I am sorry. |
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on May 28, 2024 21:07:35 GMT -5
Ripping on her for the "single mom" thing didn't go so well so moving on to a hypothetical? She wanted us to get her a bigger refund because she is a "single mom" and it affects her child. She asked in the office and then she emailed. There was nothing I could do. I used the withholding amounts on her W-2. I could not help her. Her income was too high for Earned Income Tax Credit and the WI Homestead Credit. What else could she do as a "single mom"? Should she get special tax breaks? In this situation, the father is involved in the child's life so he gets to claim her as a dependent every other year. Sometimes I don't think people realize that we all use the same tax forms and tax tables. I am sorry. Well, you didn’t say all of that about the situation you were referring to, in the post that you started the thread with. I understand now that your OP was really about income taxes in a coparenting situation. I get how that can be a source of frustration for parents that are no longer in a relationship, and the people that prepare their taxes when the parents haven’t sorted it all out before tax filing time. I am just asking that you try to understand why your OP got the responses that it did, since the OP was more about single Moms and not really about the tax situation that was revealed later in the thread. |
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 28, 2024 21:58:24 GMT -5
I consider them single parents 50% of the time. In this case, both parents and grandparents are involved in the child's life. (probably four Easter baskets, two Christmas dinners, two birthday parties.) My friend's children had parents and step-parents. That means grandparents and step-grandparents. At first communion and other events, their family took up two pews. Lucky kids. They were loved by all. And, on the flip side, it can be a PITA to have two of everything. Or actually three. One event for the nuclear family. Same event with one side of extended family. Same event on the other side of extended family. Sure. A kid may get 3 birthdays. But, what about when you have multiple kids? That would mean 12 events alone for my kids' birthdays. Actually, more if you count friends' birthdays on top of it. In some circles, the step-parent doesn't have real parenting responsibilities. Like the step-parent does not discipline, etc. So. It may not be the boon of extra hands and loved-by-all situation that you see as one data point. |
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 28, 2024 22:30:20 GMT -5
Well, our WI tax refund was smaller this year.
We made some more money and didn't get the tax breaks of DS being in school.
So, I kinda get where she is coming from. For us, it was only $500. And still. That's $500. $500 I wish I had.
And, if the mom is struggling, there's a good chance she is really struggling. Demand at food banks in my neck of the woods is at an all time high.
We shouldn't get special tax breaks, and yet we do, because we had four kids and up until 2023, our gross was under 100K.
10% of our income goes untaxed due to the Bush tax cuts. If you start to do the math, it's a good chunk of untaxed income over our lifetime.
I also don't get too excited that we get the breaks now. We're going to pay our fair share as retirees. Pension(s)+dividend+RMDs when the time comes=SS is very much taxable.
I should be converting our traditional IRAs to Roths, but we can't afford to give up our refunds at this point. Maybe when my second kiddo is in college.
I also do try to pay it forward, and help others by donating things like diapers/wipes, school supplies, personal toiletries, etc, and volunteering our time at places.
We live in a time where folks have fear of missing out. If neighbor Bob gets something, we should get it too. My mom is like that. She didn't get all the Biden bucks checks she thought she was entitled to. She didn't need it. Her net income is pretty close to ours. I heard about it for a good long time.
I'd be curious to see what was driving the need for extra back in taxes. Was it FOMO? Was it because she was eating oatmeal for three meals a day on her off weeks so that she could afford her half of kid activities? Or, does she just need something to bitch about?
You can usually tell when people are bitching to bitch because they literally have nothing else in their lives (no hobbies, no friends, minimal loved ones), or if it was a real concern.
I think your only option is really to mutter some sympathetic statement and move along. Unless you are interested in engaging this person beyond getting taxes taken care of.
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Post by daisylu on May 29, 2024 5:04:57 GMT -5
I'd consider both of them technically single parents. Just because your child may not be in your physical custody at the moment does not mean that you aren't worrying about them and still doing things needed to take care of them. You may not have to get them ready for school, sports, etc but you are still minding their schoolwork (with technology) and participating in events. Most schools are not going to keep a calendar on every child to know which parent they are with and when - they are going to contact the first contact on their list first and move on if no response. But what parent is going to say "It is not my custody week, call (the other parent)" if the school calls with an issue.
As far as taxes, that's the deal with custody. It sucks but it is what it is and is something she will need to get used to and plan for in the future. And the US still has a long way to go in gender pay equality, so it will likely affect the mom more. And that is not even factoring in if she put her own career on hold for a while to take care of their child(ren).
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Post by Opti on May 29, 2024 6:12:22 GMT -5
What, as an income tax preparer, could we have done for her? What could the IRS do for her? As an income tax preparer, nothing. As a human being, be compassionate. I know, I know, I am just joking.
OK, is this really an issue you need to spend time on? Ask for suggestions on what to tell them (from other tax preparers) and let it go. |
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