2023 New Year's Resolutions!!!!

[bean29]

I am very busy, and don't won't have a lot of time to think about this until well after the new year.

1) I also need to lose 5-10 lbs.  I have fallen off the regular exercise wagon for the last year or two.  I am going to re-join Experience Fitness near my work and try to exercise at least 2 days a week.  I need to at least do a bit of light weightlifting so that I maintain my muscle mass.  I already eat pretty healthy, to actually lose weight, I prolly need to cut out my snacking on Ritz Crackers and indulging in Red Licorice Candy.

2) As per always I need to declutter my house.  I will need to scan documents, shred old records and convince DH that we do not need to save things we no longer have a use for.  I currently have a kids bike in my yard DH picked up off the curb and a box that had Baseball Equipment in it.  Most of the Equipment disappeared.  DH asked me if I knew what happened to it.  I told him I did not know. 
The bike almost disappeared too, but I was afraid my car might get damaged lifting in into the back.  DD also needs to declutter the 2 rooms of stuff she has at my house.  Hopefully she works on it a bit today.

3) I am going to unsubscribe to text messages from some of my favorite retailers.  I should not need new clothing for a good bit, especially if I lose 5-10 lbs.  I also want to give myself a budget for new clothing.  I have to decide what the right number might be.

4) I want to pay down on the Adjustable-rate mortgage that only has 4 years left to go on it.  Interest rate is currently in the 6% range, and it can go up 2% every year.  We only owe $40,000 on it and pay about 1,300 to principal per month.  So, the interest rate is not a huge concern.  Paying more on this mortgage has to be weighed against contributing less to Traditional 401K and 401K Roth Investment accounts.  I maxed 401K and HSA the last 2 years.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I'm going to add 
Respond to messages--text, email, and voice--within 24 hours. 
I'm really bad about that, and at some point I'm not behaving like an adult. 

[nidena]

Dec 4, 2022 22:43:26 GMT -5 saveinla said:

I hope to be paying down my mortgage to a manageable level - I have started to pay extra every month, but I also want to reduce it from 309k to maybe 150 or 200k.

I know its not advised, but I dont care, as I want some peace of mind. We are getting older and if something happens to one of us the other can handle it easily.

You're welcome to join us over on the WIRR while you "race" your mortgage down to that goal. 

[tcu2003]

I’ll flush these out some more, but initial thoughts:

Set up will/trust
Practice more self-care
Fully fund Roth IRA/401k/529 accounts
Read 36 (or more) books

[giramomma]

Dec 22, 2022 22:02:23 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I'm going to add 
Respond to messages--text, email, and voice--within 24 hours. 
I'm really bad about that, and at some point I'm not behaving like an adult. 

Also, I find if folks want me to adult all the time, they should help me figure out how to make 48 hour days.

[giramomma]

I would like to have more than 20 kid-free hours with my husband a year. Two years in a row, it's getting to be a little much. And I'm over polyannaing that it was so much better than 2020 when DH and I had 10 kid free hours for the year, thanks to Covid.

We need to go about finding some sitters. But, we only have two kids now, that need to be monitored.  So, paying for a sitter should cost less than whatever thing we do.

[tcu2003]

Dec 27, 2022 8:06:49 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I would like to have more than 20 kid-free hours with my husband a year. Two years in a row, it's getting to be a little much. And I'm over polyannaing that it was so much better than 2020 when DH and I had 10 kid free hours for the year, thanks to Covid.

We need to go about finding some sitters. But, we only have two kids now, that need to be monitored.  So, paying for a sitter should cost less than whatever thing we do.

Yes!!! I was saying something similar to DH yesterday! Though we’re starting off with a win (assuming no flight issues) as we’re leaving the kids with my sister and mom from 12/30-1/1 and flying to Phoenix.

We used to trade with my sister, but since she got divorced a couple of years ago and is now engaged, she doesn’t really need a sitter. Her kids are 13 and 9, and her ex has them part of the time, so she doesn’t ever need a sitter unless it’s overnight. I probably need to just suck it up and pay one of the neighbor teens to watch the kids, but so far haven’t done that.

[raeoflyte]

Dec 4, 2022 21:38:35 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Initial and very loose thoughts....
New job/industry
Work out plan
50% of diet/food in house fruit and veggies
Cut way back on online reading
Spend more time with my folks/dsis

I still need to refine and turn these into attainable goals, but I'm adding decluttering/organizing and implementing consistent systems to keep the house in order.

I need to have a house that I'm not embarrassed by when we have unexpected company - like plumbers fixing a burst pipe.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I am absolutely terrified to make any resolutions because every time I do the universe has someone hold it's beer. 

I suppose one easy one I can stick to is to continue to try to get my shit together.   While DH keeps lecturing me I can't self diagnose the deeper I get into therapy and talking with my new GP I think we are on the right track that I have ADHD.

I need to get swabbed for that genetic test to see if there actually is anything I could take medication wise.   And I need to continue working on the CBT homework I have.

Then Gwen has requested she get screened because she feels the same way I do a lot.  So need to get that taken care of and see if we can separate out how much is she like me vs how much of it is being a hormonal 12 year old middle schooler.  I need to sign her up for therapy but I am waiting till DH's insurance kicks in so we can start using his HSA.  Mine will eventually dry up since we're not putting anymore in it and I don't want that happening to her mid session.

[swamp]

I finally thought of a realistic one I can stick to. 

I will get up from my desk at least once an hour and walk for 5 minutes around the building.    I've started today.  

[giramomma]

Dec 30, 2022 12:24:42 GMT -5 swamp said:

I finally thought of a realistic one I can stick to. 

I will get up from my desk at least once an hour and walk for 5 minutes around the building.    I've started today.  

My fitbit nags me  something fierce to walk around like that once an hour.

It adds just about a mile to my step totals a day.

[Artemis Windsong]

Do the things you love more often.

Let go of situations or people that drain you.

Sometimes you need to get uncomfortable to get comfortable.

Where ever your attention goes, your energy flows.

If you change your mindset, you will change your life.

from Innergrowthreset.

[susana1954]

I've decided that my New Year's Resolution will primarily be a house to-do list.  I will do it in the form of a checklist.  I don't have any major projects that have to be done, but I need to do some caulking, for example.  I would like a new light fixture.  I am saving for a Nest thermometer or something similar ($400 including installation so it's a splurge).

I also plan to add walking and maybe a fitness class beginning January 2.  That's when my insurance changes and the nearby Y becomes free.

That's really it.  

[daisylu]

Dec 27, 2022 8:06:49 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I would like to have more than 20 kid-free hours with my husband a year. Two years in a row, it's getting to be a little much. And I'm over polyannaing that it was so much better than 2020 when DH and I had 10 kid free hours for the year, thanks to Covid.

We need to go about finding some sitters. But, we only have two kids now, that need to be monitored.  So, paying for a sitter should cost less than whatever thing we do.

I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum. Kids are grown, though 1 has not yet moved out. DH currently works 12 hour days, 4 on 4 off. It's a horrible schedule for him and hopefully it changes soon, but in the meantime I barely get any ME time. I know it's how women are trained, but I still feel guilty if I take time for myself when he is available. For instance, I know I need more gym days but the days he doesn't work (which are 4 days in a row) I feel like I need to get home to spend time with him before he goes back to his 4 in a row 12 hour days where we hardly see each other. Maybe his resolution should be to find new employment.

[raeoflyte]

Dec 4, 2022 21:38:35 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Initial and very loose thoughts....
New job/industry
Work out plan
50% of diet/food in house fruit and veggies
Cut way back on online reading
Spend more time with my folks/dsis

More fleshed out.

2 hours a week minimum job searching

Full body weight workout 2x a week.
Jiu jitsu 3x a week

Dog training - devil dog off leash trained. Puppy through pre-off leash. Both consistent with distracted obedience, nose work, and walks together.

Weekly TV night with my folks.
Biking/swimming with folks as weather permits, and card/board game nights every few months. Also work on group vacations.

For the parts I'm still figuring out:

I'm thinking of doing a "dry January" but with my online time sucks, and then evaluate to how to proceed with a more limited daily reading. I'm on vacation so I'm not counting this yet.

More veggies is more about meal planning and prep. Both which I hate. But make soup 1-2× a week in winter. Prep veggies 2x a week and fruit as snacks should be doable. I need to do more banana/pumpkin breads for the kids for snacks but I am going to make the kids do the lifting on that.

Spending more time with Dsis is still a work in progress too. She's definitely invited to TV nights and game nights. I want to make sure she feels valued, not as a tag along and not just because she spends so much time with my kids. She is with us a lot already, so it's more about carving out time to connect when we are already together. Dh and I both started inviting dsis out more for non-kid/family activities so maybe that will work as long as I keep it top of mind.


Eta...the house. I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I really want. At the top of the list is decluttering the "oh shit" rooms/areas. The places I hate for anyone to see they're too filled/messy.
Secondly I want to find a system that keeps the house play-date ready 95% of the time. In my mind playdate is looser than company ready. In the past I make lists and systems and yes, everything should be done every day, but we're not at a time of life or the kind of people that that is sustainable. So I think I want to spend each month trying some different upkeep/organizational systems. Years ago I think @pants suggested a 5-4-3-2-1 that was working for them, and I'll include the 15 minutes a day family pick up. Probably try one of my lists for a month. I'm open to suggestions too. 😊

[daisylu]

Not really a resolution, but I had decided a while ago that once the kids were out DH and I would stop using paper plates. I will likely still have them in the house for sandwiches and such, but most meals will be eaten on good plates. We started 1/01.

I am the dishwasher in the house.

[swamp]

So far I have walked 5 minutes for every hour I'm at work, work activities permitting.  Granted, its 2 days, but it's a win.  I actually enjoy it, and my back doesn't hurt as much. 

i also went to zumba last night.   I may go swimming tonight, but it's supposed to be freezing rain, so I'll do the elliptical instead. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Dec 27, 2022 8:06:49 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I would like to have more than 20 kid-free hours with my husband a year. Two years in a row, it's getting to be a little much. And I'm over polyannaing that it was so much better than 2020 when DH and I had 10 kid free hours for the year, thanks to Covid.

We need to go about finding some sitters. But, we only have two kids now, that need to be monitored.  So, paying for a sitter should cost less than whatever thing we do.

Can't you just pay your oldest to watch the younger two?  Still out the money, but it would probably decrease what she'd be asking you for money for anyhow.  A few hours every couple weeks for a date night kind of thing.

That was just one of my older son's responsibilities once Carrot hit age 4 or 5.  "I'm going to town, make sure your brother is still alive when I get back". 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I watched my brother starting at 12 so my parents could go on date nights.  I am honestly surprised he was alive when they got back.  Oh the stories I am holding onto for when he finally gets a serious girlfriend.   


I have been secretly delighted that is 3 year old son is EXACTLY like him.

I need to bring the idea up with DH that we have Gwen watch Abby so we can have occasional date nights.  Both are old enough to be left alone for a couple hours without the house burning down and it's something we need to get in the pattern of doing.   

[minnesotapaintlady]

I think this is the year I'm going to finally consolidate financial accounts.  I got rid of one in 2021 then this year added a second 529 plan for Carrot.   

I've gotten to the point where I've written all my Vanguard account numbers down so that I can initiate the transfer to Fidelity, but still haven't been able to pull the trigger. I want simplification, but I have this fear of all eggs in one basket too. 

[giramomma]

Jan 4, 2023 13:03:31 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Dec 27, 2022 8:06:49 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I would like to have more than 20 kid-free hours with my husband a year. Two years in a row, it's getting to be a little much. And I'm over polyannaing that it was so much better than 2020 when DH and I had 10 kid free hours for the year, thanks to Covid.

We need to go about finding some sitters. But, we only have two kids now, that need to be monitored.  So, paying for a sitter should cost less than whatever thing we do.

Can't you just pay your oldest to watch the younger two?  Still out the money, but it would probably decrease what she'd be asking you for money for anyhow.  A few hours every couple weeks for a date night kind of thing.

That was just one of my older son's responsibilities once Carrot hit age 4 or 5.  "I'm going to town, make sure your brother is still alive when I get back". 

Nope. There's a reason my 15 year old has her own room. DH and I had to tell her to knock it off a few times over break because she was being over the top bossy older sister/ mean to the peanut. That was with us in the same room. She knew it was bad when I gave her the look.

Plus, she has basketball practice 6 days a week. That actually does cut into time.  And, she also needs to find a real job.

She'll watch the missy for a half hour, if she's in the right mood.

Pay means nothing to DD1.

DD1 has other merits. She cleaned way more than I asked her to before her friends came over yesterday, and she did that without pay. She will go grocery shopping with DH to help corral the missy if he has to take her. 

She will on her own, play with the missy for more than an hour if she's bored and wants to play.

It's not worth the battle and trying to make her do something she's not interested in. I lump it in the same category as trying to get DS to get better grades than Ds. There was nothing we could do to motivate him..because that is his personality. And having DS stay in his empty room, except to eat and go to school....that wasn't something I was interested in. Minimally, he needs to be somewhat active. That was important to me, to have him move around, outside, when we were figuring out if there was a root cause like depression or ADHD.

ETA: We give her $40/month as an allowance. Sitters for two kids are about 15-20/hour. Maybe I could get away with paying her $10/hour to babysit. But, I'd probably pay her $15. So, the allowance could still end up being cheaper.

[azucena]

Fwiw, I'm the eldest of 5 and 18 months older than my sister. When I was 13 and babysitting them, my sis got pissed at me and literally smacked my brother in the head with a garden hoe. Luckily he was wearing a hoodie that blunted the damage but he still needed stitches. My mom never left her home with me again.

[Cookies Galore]

Dec 30, 2022 12:24:42 GMT -5 swamp said:

I finally thought of a realistic one I can stick to. 

I will get up from my desk at least once an hour and walk for 5 minutes around the building.    I've started today.  

That is one thing I miss about working in an office regularly; I get so fidgety I have to get up and walk! I walk up and down my stairs all day now so I guess that counts.

[Cookies Galore]

Aside from my usual goal to keep on keeping on, I want to make sure I read more this year. No set goal of x-number of books or anything like that, just get back into a regular reading habit. My train time used to be my uninterrupted reading time, and I don't go into the office much anymore, so there went that. It really hit me last year that I am not an avid reader anymore. I hate that.

[CCL]

Dec 30, 2022 18:16:23 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

I've decided that my New Year's Resolution will primarily be a house to-do list.  I will do it in the form of a checklist.  I don't have any major projects that have to be done, but I need to do some caulking, for example.  I would like a new light fixture.  I am saving for a Nest thermometer or something similar ($400 including installation so it's a splurge).

I also plan to add walking and maybe a fitness class beginning January 2.  That's when my insurance changes and the nearby Y becomes free.

That's really it.  

You might check with your electric and gas providers on the thermostat. Duke frequently has them for around $50. We got our Honeywell wifi thermostat from the gas company for $25. If you have a handyman, they should be able to install it. I installed my own and it was very simple.

[bean29]

Jan 4, 2023 13:07:35 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I watched my brother starting at 12 so my parents could go on date nights.  I am honestly surprised he was alive when they got back.  Oh the stories I am holding onto for when he finally gets a serious girlfriend.   


I have been secretly delighted that is 3 year old son is EXACTLY like him.

I need to bring the idea up with DH that we have Gwen watch Abby so we can have occasional date nights.  Both are old enough to be left alone for a couple hours without the house burning down and it's something we need to get in the pattern of doing.   

My kids are 3 1/2 years apart.  DS older.  Honestly when we left DS in charge, DD was telling him what to do.  

[countrygirl2]

I made one to use up the food we have in the house before buying more. I cleaned my upstairs pantry last fall and had to pitch to much, don't want to do that again.

So other than perishables, stop buying anything else till I'm out. So we are eating out of the pantries and 2 freezers. It could be a couple months or 4 before we need much of anything.

Also quit procrastinating on things I need to do like record keeping. Don't know if I can keep that one, but working hard on it.

[raeoflyte]

Jan 5, 2023 13:54:05 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Jan 4, 2023 13:07:35 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I watched my brother starting at 12 so my parents could go on date nights.  I am honestly surprised he was alive when they got back.  Oh the stories I am holding onto for when he finally gets a serious girlfriend.   


I have been secretly delighted that is 3 year old son is EXACTLY like him.

I need to bring the idea up with DH that we have Gwen watch Abby so we can have occasional date nights.  Both are old enough to be left alone for a couple hours without the house burning down and it's something we need to get in the pattern of doing.   

My kids are 3 1/2 years apart.  DS older.  Honestly when we left DS in charge, DD was telling him what to do.  

That's the same age split mine have. I mostly tell them they're responsible for each other and so far theyre easy kids and that works. Once I paid ds to babysit under the understanding that he had to actually check on dc and hang out with them if needed.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Dec 18, 2022 21:15:46 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

1. Finish my dissertation.
2. Figure out how to consistently be physically healthy. I logically know how that works. I just need the discipline. 

Number 1 happened. 
Number 2 didn't happen.