Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 13, 2022 18:15:33 GMT -5
Then you should be fine. Just don't forget you are "burnt out at work." What about student loans? Lol, I will not forget I am also trying to work on that burnout. Work fewer hours, work less intensely, care less, refuse guilt, take more time off, etc. I did negotiate an extra week of pto with my promotion last year and need to start taking more sick time. Student loans are still there. Eroding via inflation. I don’t think I’ll get anything off any forgiveness as they are looking at income, but especially with inflation super high, just going to let them roll. Pay minimums when they start up again and then possibly go to income based payments when I retire. Current employer qualifies for student loan forgiveness. 4 years there in Oct. would be nice if they prorated some of that non profit forgiveness so you don’t have to do 10 years for 100% forgiveness. But yes, those are in my calculations.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 13, 2022 19:06:53 GMT -5
I'm not in your league, but I wouldn't call you rich . . . particularly to live in Illinois, which is renowned for its high taxes (which you mention). Despite that, I'll tell you what struck me reading your original post. You spend a lot of money. You sabotage your attempts to "pay yourself first" by having to dip into that money to make ends meet. Remember that you will need to save enough to generate about 80% of your aftertax income for retirement. Don't really kid yourself that you will live more cheaply then. Inflation is kicking my pension's ass. You don't like your job and suspect that it may start to show although it hasn't yet. Or you may lose it for some other reason. High-paying jobs take longer to replace than low-paying ones. I know from having been on here a long time that both you and your daughter (do you have more than one?) have high student loan balances. Or did you pay those off? For some reason, I thought some of them were Parent Plus loans, which means that you are responsible. And now you are talking about turning a $600k house into a million dollar house. But you haven't said that houses sell for a million dollars in your neighborhood. You mentioned one that was valued at more than your $600k, but you didn't say the source of the valuation. Zillow values are notoriously bad. Did it sell at the value you posted? Would yours sell for a million dollars? I sound like a Negative Nelly, and I'm not. You just sound as if you are in over your head in terms of plans and "dreams." You even mention the possibility of giving your house away if one of your children wants it one day. Come back down to earth, Rukh, and do the things that will make your house both livable and sellable. That's the new siding, the new roof, etc. That should take you at least a year at the rate it takes to find contractors and getting them to get the job done these days! Then revaluate. As always, just my 2 cents . . . I was always impressed at your perseverance in getting your PhD and starting Rukh, Inc. Thanks Susana, lot of good points for thinking about. Have no idea what is going on with DDs loans, not sure if I mentioned it but she moved thousands of miles away about 6 months ago. She will likely get whatever forgiveness is granted, and I don't see them - biden admin - being able to pull back on giving some level of forgiveness. And even if they don't she can handle those. She got a promotion already so no need for concerns, after only 10 month on the job. I do have parent plus loans and my own loans. Those are at about 101 to 102k balance and I haven't paid a dime since the 0% went into effect. Well - I had some loans that the 0% did not affect, so I did pay those off a few years ago. I haven't forgotten the loans! most of the time anyway! Regarding not paying myself first - while I may pull back money from the brokerage account sometimes, I do max out my 401k and HSA, Maxed my Ibonds, and have bought nearly 2k in treasuries. All of those are untouched, and I do not tap my HSA for medical expenses, pay all of those out of pocket so the HSA can grow. The vet bills have been high last couple of months, but both of the older kitties received necessary treatments and full workups and have clean bills of health. Both had gone to the ER vets in the past year with some concerning 'maybe's to followup on, but with the full workup at our new (and very expensively priced but thorough and excellent care) vet, looks like nothing but continuing immunizations in the next year or two - god willing! So while the money is auto directed to the brokerage, it does function as a spot for both emergency and sinking funds, so I do not thinking taking some of that back means that I am not making savings progress due to all the other savings vehicles I am contributing to without taking anything back. Also, my company matches up to 7% in the 401k, I am vested now, so that is a little over 11k being added to the pot. It is not the case that I don't like my job, at least in terms of I do/used love my professions. I'm not thrilled with how many things have been handled, particularly staffing and compensation. I am scaling back, sometimes it is genuine slacking, and trying to right size my efforts. I have a fantastic team and it is a pleasure to lead them. I'm trying to get back my mojo career-wise. Not sure if it is strict burnout, getting older, truly having enough money to never be homeless or hungry so questioning the purpose of work, or some combo of these and other factors. But while I know that going through this house project would be a lot of work and stressful, each step of something being done that I don't have to think or worry about anymore is going to be wonderful. I've also been a bit frozen on doing even little things because I don't know how it fits into the big picture for this house. Once I get the clarity, I think day to day will be easier to target and execute smaller tasks. I've been over my head for about 30 or so years now. No reason to stop now.....and I'm not entirely sure this isn't the path to get out from over my head...although, there will be some rapids to navigate before that.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 13, 2022 19:27:34 GMT -5
ok - I think I answered/addressed everything. Let me know if I missed something in reply. Overall - thanks to everyone for weighing in here, very super helpful in many and varied ways. Nobody proved mathematically that this was my financial ruin, so - yay! Comments more concerning the stress and work of going down this route, work burnout, other options to consider. I can work with that! As a clarification - I am only committing to architetural plans at this point in time. 5K price tag. Will proceed from there. Even if I lose the dayjob, via firing, layoff, or rage quit, I will still have RI, and could actively seek additional clients since I'd have loads of spare time. So not too worried there. Plan to keep RI going longer than the day job anyway for sure, so a little bit of a cushion. Thinking through everything, one sticking point is pulling back on the retirement savings - mainly the tax implication. Could end up in 32% if not maxing 401k. Tough when I am doing it to get more money to use! Definitely going to buy some lotto tickets, lol! Just in case the universe wants to endorse my plan .
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Aug 13, 2022 20:15:10 GMT -5
I am really curious what you spend $6000/mth on
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 13, 2022 20:18:40 GMT -5
Oh- remembered something I forgot! You even mention the possibility of giving your house away if one of your children wants it one day. Something was misinterpreted. No, I would not be giving it away. If one of them wanted to live in the house without me in it, either had a family and wanted to raise the kids in this area, or just had a trustable friend group wanting to live together in a big house together, I'd be delighted to let them take it over for while. Maybe permanently. But paying rent. Discounted but not so much that I was losing money month to month, unless there was a hardship or something, and then that would be temporarily. And then I'd take off and do major traveling. Maybe keep a room in the house as home base? Expecially if the cats were still with us. But if this was after the cats passed on, I might just circumnavigate the globe for a few years, and leave the house with caretakers that were paying the bills, so neither profit nor deficit to me. That would be a huge bonus for me, and I think a definite win-win for all involved.. But not giving away the house, unless I made it to 8 figures net worth and could give one the house and the other a million for something similar! Even then, would be a hard sell to permanently give up while I'm still here. They can have it permanently later
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 13, 2022 20:21:35 GMT -5
I am really curious what you spend $6000/mth on mortage is 2700, so nearly half already! What do you spend monthly? Chicago sales tax rate is 10.25%, that really adds up. Did I mention 9 cats? Whole lotta fancy feast - and cat litter!
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 13, 2022 20:28:04 GMT -5
I agree that if you're feeling burnt out, that's NOT the time to do a remodel. At least around here, good luck finding a contractor, then you pray they actually show up on the day they promise to be there. Ugh! DD bought a house that was built in the 1950's, and just trying to do little things with that house is turning into a major pain due to the changes in the building code. She originally wanted to add a dishwasher to the kitchen. But, now venting is required, which means a hole would have to go behind the cabinets & into the wall. She decided to live without the dishwasher until she can afford to remodel the entire kitchen. Too much trouble just to add a dishwasher to a kitchen that still has the original cabinets. Has she looked into portable dishwashers?
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Aug 13, 2022 21:54:01 GMT -5
I am really curious what you spend $6000/mth on mortage is 2700, so nearly half already! What do you spend monthly? Chicago sales tax rate is 10.25%, that really adds up. Did I mention 9 cats? Whole lotta fancy feast - and cat litter! Closer to $3000. My mortgage is only $750 though. Our sales tax is 13%. ISO and I also share a car so half the insurance and maintenance. Cutting my expenses has been a big part of my finsncial planning.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Aug 13, 2022 21:54:22 GMT -5
I agree that if you're feeling burnt out, that's NOT the time to do a remodel. At least around here, good luck finding a contractor, then you pray they actually show up on the day they promise to be there. Ugh! DD bought a house that was built in the 1950's, and just trying to do little things with that house is turning into a major pain due to the changes in the building code. She originally wanted to add a dishwasher to the kitchen. But, now venting is required, which means a hole would have to go behind the cabinets & into the wall. She decided to live without the dishwasher until she can afford to remodel the entire kitchen. Too much trouble just to add a dishwasher to a kitchen that still has the original cabinets. Has she looked into portable dishwashers? No, but I'll mention it. The problem is, her kitchen really isn't very big. She & I had picked out the section of cupboards she probably wouldn't miss in order to install a dishwasher, then we found out about the venting issue. Houses are complicated...
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 13, 2022 22:01:08 GMT -5
mortage is 2700, so nearly half already! What do you spend monthly? Chicago sales tax rate is 10.25%, that really adds up. Did I mention 9 cats? Whole lotta fancy feast - and cat litter! Closer to $3000. My mortgage is only $750 though. Our sales tax is 13%. ISO and I also share a car so half the insurance and maintenance. Cutting my expenses has been a big part of my finsncial planning. I am also staring to try to examine spending and cut what I can. I have too many streaming services, for one.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 13, 2022 23:14:16 GMT -5
mortage is 2700, so nearly half already! What do you spend monthly? Chicago sales tax rate is 10.25%, that really adds up. Did I mention 9 cats? Whole lotta fancy feast - and cat litter! Closer to $3000. My mortgage is only $750 though. Our sales tax is 13%. ISO and I also share a car so half the insurance and maintenance. Cutting my expenses has been a big part of my finsncial planning. So not too far off after adjusting for mortgage.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Aug 14, 2022 6:33:12 GMT -5
I've only just read this thread.
Generally I agree with the others, that it makes the most financial sense for you to do only the essential improvements for safety and liveability then sell and move to an easier house. Even doing just the basics will take a huge pot of money and an unpredictable amount of time. It will also be a real drain on your energy. But, you love this house and its possibilities.
I have the idea after these years of knowing you online that you need something new to focus your prodigious energy and talents on. You've raised your kids, alone, and earned a Ph.D. You found a new job, leaving one that promised to swallow you whole. You started a company, RI. You are looking for a new challenge.
You are not what I'd call wealthy, but well off, certainly. Comfortable. Enough so that you saved a tidy $100k to put into the house in addition to regular savings and retirement. That gives you choices.
The way you've faced previous challenges shows that delving into the whole house reno is definitely possible. Your staged approach seems to me to be the most workable given your commitments to the cats.
So, go for it. Get the $5k plan. List out all the components of stage 1, find a general contractor and start. It will absorb all your extra time, money and energy for a couple of years. Then you'll see more clearly what you want to do next (if anything).
A lot of people have a 5- or 10-year retirement plan. Let this be part of yours. Given a staged approach you can retire after 2 years or 10.
Have fun. Write about what you're up to, because inquiring minds will want to know how it's going.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Aug 14, 2022 8:19:19 GMT -5
Closer to $3000. My mortgage is only $750 though. Our sales tax is 13%. ISO and I also share a car so half the insurance and maintenance. Cutting my expenses has been a big part of my finsncial planning. I am also staring to try to examine spending and cut what I can. I have too many streaming services, for one. I would suggest another exercise as you move toward the home renovation. Try making the larger mortgage payment that would be required if you went ahead with the remodel. Do it for six months. Put the extra money in your savings account or your sock drawer or in your cook book. You might save yourself some buyers remorse by trying on that payment before you commit yourself for the long term. I would love to live in a lavish home. I do not love making high mortgage payments. Try on the bigger payment for size and see where the balance lies for you.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Aug 14, 2022 9:24:23 GMT -5
I am also staring to try to examine spending and cut what I can. I have too many streaming services, for one. I would suggest another exercise as you move toward the home renovation. Try making the larger mortgage payment that would be required if you went ahead with the remodel. Do it for six months. Put the extra money in your savings account or your sock drawer or in your cook book. You might save yourself some buyers remorse by trying on that payment before you commit yourself for the long term. I would love to live in a lavish home. I do not love making high mortgage payments. Try on the bigger payment for size and see where the balance lies for you. I don't think there's any intention to get a new mortgage, she plans to cashflow the project over multiple years and continue working to do so. A good approach financially. My only qualm is she has been so ready to hang it up and retire for awhile now, but maybe she's not as ready as she thought (mentally, not financially) and needs an excuse to keep working. That happens.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Aug 14, 2022 9:41:31 GMT -5
Rukh O'RorkeI only read the OP so far. I will read the comments later, so maybe my comment isn't relevant. Renovating the house is not worth it. The hassle, the money, etc. I would sell, get something smaller, newer, and something you can live for many years going forward, if you plan to stay in your current area. From prior posts, I remember how hard you have worked for years. Its ok to slow down. If it eventually catches up with you, you can downsize to a smaller role or retire altogether. I would try to enjoy myself in your shoes. Travel, going out, hobbies, whatever makes you happy. Wouldn't get involved in such a huge, expensive, exhausting and frustrating project such a house renovation. Keep saving and investing. Once it's time to go, either because they let you go or you realize youve had enough, you'll have plenty.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 14, 2022 11:03:20 GMT -5
I've only just read this thread. Generally I agree with the others, that it makes the most financial sense for you to do only the essential improvements for safety and liveability then sell and move to an easier house. Even doing just the basics will take a huge pot of money and an unpredictable amount of time. It will also be a real drain on your energy. But, you love this house and its possibilities. I have the idea after these years of knowing you online that you need something new to focus your prodigious energy and talents on. You've raised your kids, alone, and earned a Ph.D. You found a new job, leaving one that promised to swallow you whole. You started a company, RI. You are looking for a new challenge. You are not what I'd call wealthy, but well off, certainly. Comfortable. Enough so that you saved a tidy $100k to put into the house in addition to regular savings and retirement. That gives you choices. The way you've faced previous challenges shows that delving into the whole house reno is definitely possible. Your staged approach seems to me to be the most workable given your commitments to the cats. So, go for it. Get the $5k plan. List out all the components of stage 1, find a general contractor and start. It will absorb all your extra time, money and energy for a couple of years. Then you'll see more clearly what you want to do next (if anything). A lot of people have a 5- or 10-year retirement plan. Let this be part of yours. Given a staged approach you can retire after 2 years or 10. Have fun. Write about what you're up to, because inquiring minds will want to know how it's going. thank you!
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 14, 2022 11:23:13 GMT -5
I would suggest another exercise as you move toward the home renovation. Try making the larger mortgage payment that would be required if you went ahead with the remodel. Do it for six months. Put the extra money in your savings account or your sock drawer or in your cook book. You might save yourself some buyers remorse by trying on that payment before you commit yourself for the long term. I would love to live in a lavish home. I do not love making high mortgage payments. Try on the bigger payment for size and see where the balance lies for you. I don't think there's any intention to get a new mortgage, she plans to cashflow the project over multiple years and continue working to do so. A good approach financially. My only qualm is she has been so ready to hang it up and retire for awhile now, but maybe she's not as ready as she thought (mentally, not financially) and needs an excuse to keep working. That happens. As I started to try to get ducks in a row on retirement, the house project and my lack of health data emerged as major sticking points in my situation and mental process to clear the path towards quitting. In terms of financing, I have a 350k mortgage at 2.75%. I don't fancy converting that to a higher mortage rate in a refi, but I will be open to any attractive financing options that may come up. spoiler: I don't expect any to. The other side is that if I do something to finance this over the long term, and have something like a 5k mortgage payment for a 30 year term, that will definitely change the investable assets total that I would need to pull the trigger, and result in probably the same extra number of years to acheive it. I am starting to make a variety of medical appts to, to clear that part of it. Although - now that the house project is looking like 2 year minimum, why the rush? j/k - I will get to a dr. soon......
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 14, 2022 11:28:13 GMT -5
Rukh O'Rorke I only read the OP so far. I will read the comments later, so maybe my comment isn't relevant. Renovating the house is not worth it. The hassle, the money, etc. I would sell, get something smaller, newer, and something you can live for many years going forward, if you plan to stay in your current area. From prior posts, I remember how hard you have worked for years. Its ok to slow down. If it eventually catches up with you, you can downsize to a smaller role or retire altogether. I would try to enjoy myself in your shoes. Travel, going out, hobbies, whatever makes you happy. Wouldn't get involved in such a huge, expensive, exhausting and frustrating project such a house renovation. Keep saving and investing. Once it's time to go, either because they let you go or you realize youve had enough, you'll have plenty. thank you Ava! I am pretty committed to at least starting this path and getting some professional plans drawn up - thereby exploring all the options I've tossed around in my head the past 10-15 years.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 14, 2022 11:49:32 GMT -5
On a general note, I have very conflicted feelings about my career and my job. And pulling the plug.
I was so into it, obviously, going back for a phd starting in my late 40's. I was also so underpaid for what I did conceptually and what I brought to the table in terms of talent and work ethic. Finally - I am making good money at it! Don't get me wrong, for my credentials and the management level I am at, it is still modest at best. But rather than feeling constantly taken advantage of, sometime, I feel a bit guilty on a slacker day, thinking how much I am making.
But I am still having a mental fog and lack of motivation sometimes. I keep putting off effortful work. I'll do that in the afternoon. no make it tomorrow, I'll do that after the weekend. I'll get to it later...etc. etc. then I have built myself a crisis and can get back up to my old level of output.
I also feel a great sense of comaraderie with DD now that she is working a professional job. She was going through interview/job offer while I was negotiating my promotion, and I love when she asks me questions about stuff, comparing 401k matches, vacay time, etc. I have also served as something of a mentor for DD's friends, as many of them have professional jobs but parents did not or only at individual contributor roles, and I have given them advice about requesting promotions, how to approach their bosses in conversation about difficult things etc. I'm the go-to for her peer group on professional topics. I like that. I guess it comes down to that old resistence to retirement of remaining relevant!
I just want to be where I am right now in my career 10 years ago. Or at least to feel the same passion and energy for it. As I mentioned, I am trying to get back my old mojo for it, understanding I am burnt out and trying to rememdy that. I have increased staff and now can slack sometimes. I am hoping that I can recover a bit after our fall rush of work and into the winter.
Additionally, I wonder if the house is contributing to this? As I mentioned, everywhere my eye rests is a reminder of things that need doing and I am 100% WFH forever now. So while I'm working constantly reminded of what I need to do with the house.
The other source of stress for me is increased eldercare for my mother, who is going to be 99 this year and refuses to leave the family home. It's not like I spend a whole lot of time on eldercare, but I had to go over there twice yesterday and it really ate up my saturday. I no longer have a car, so first time was by bus, second by uber as it was late but she needed help with something and I deemed it to be rather urgent.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Aug 14, 2022 12:30:22 GMT -5
At 58 years old, you want to put $50,000/year, for the next 10 years into a 100 year old house.
You would finance this by stopping the retirement savings and sinking funds savings you currently put aside.
I feel this plan puts all your eggs in one basket. It also requires you to keep working much longer.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Aug 14, 2022 13:14:32 GMT -5
I got really tired just reading this post. seriously - but more or less work than moving?? Tis a query! If the house really doesn’t meet your needs any more (bigger than you need?), moving is less work then a remodel. A move can be done in a few weeks. A remodel will take several months. And a large scale remodel will probably take between six and twelve months, depending how many surprises you find in an old house.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Aug 14, 2022 13:22:50 GMT -5
If you’re completely renovating the house, what about this house are you wanting to save? The location? The style of the house? Victorian? Queen Anne? The cats? Lots of money, aggravation, lost time and opportunity to obtain what? Completely new house in same architectural style at this specific location?. Have you even explored looking for another house? Looking at houses might also give you ideas about a renovation
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Aug 14, 2022 13:33:48 GMT -5
I agree that if you're feeling burnt out, that's NOT the time to do a remodel. At least around here, good luck finding a contractor, then you pray they actually show up on the day they promise to be there. Ugh! DD bought a house that was built in the 1950's, and just trying to do little things with that house is turning into a major pain due to the changes in the building code. She originally wanted to add a dishwasher to the kitchen. But, now venting is required, which means a hole would have to go behind the cabinets & into the wall. She decided to live without the dishwasher until she can afford to remodel the entire kitchen. Too much trouble just to add a dishwasher to a kitchen that still has the original cabinets. While standard practice is to vent a dishwasher through the roof, either directly or by tying into an existing vent (such as the sink), most jurisdictions allow for alternatives. Otherwise, how do you vent a sink in an island that is six feet from the nearest wall? The dishwasher and kitchen sink in our 2006 house are vented through the kitchen counter top. The vent comes through a hole in the counter next to the faucet and extends about three inches above the counter. Through counter vents are so common that the kitchen faucet manufacturer (Delta) offers a vent to match the faucet. I’d talk to a local plumber or the building department before I’d give up on the dishwasher.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Aug 14, 2022 14:22:54 GMT -5
Rukh, I too live in a neighborhood with very old homes. We have two couples we are close to who felt strongly about living in an ‘eco home’.
Both couples purchased a plot of land and had a (smaller) energy-efficient home built. (Smaller because neither had kids living at home anymore, although both of them have a couple of extra bedrooms so their kids can visit.)
It feels like trying to make a big home that old is (for lack of a better term, please forgive me) ‘putting lipstick on a pig’.
Also … you say you want to slow down, cut back, travel … but doing this will make you work harder for longer. Like others have mentioned, I think you need a project … but I’m not at all convinced this is the best use of your resources.
Also, it’s hard to travel when you have nine cats!
I think you really need to think about your long-term goals, lest you get caught up in another multi-year project.
As always, wishing you the best my friend!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Aug 14, 2022 14:28:02 GMT -5
PS DH and I have often said that if we could afford it, we’d tear down our house and build an energy-efficient one with the same characteristics and footprint. Never gonna happen, alas.
But I think your money would be better used to do what you need to do. Could you install a geothermal pump? From the little I know your house is probably too big, but that could help.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Aug 14, 2022 15:15:06 GMT -5
PS DH and I have often said that if we could afford it, we’d tear down our house and build an energy-efficient one with the same characteristics and footprint. Never gonna happen, alas. But I think your money would be better used to do what you need to do. Could you install a geothermal pump? From the little I know your house is probably too big, but that could help. will look into this with other options!
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Deleted
Joined: Apr 30, 2024 0:13:53 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2022 17:49:15 GMT -5
But the house does need a lot of work, whether I go for the gold, or just peicemeal new basement slab, new siding, new proch/decks, new roofing. Yes - all of that is currently on it's last legs and listing it out it would like be well over 100k, maybe even 150 or more just to upgrade those to current without upgrading the level at all. Oh - and the electric an plumbing needs a lot of work too, and no central AC, and - yes the house is 100 years old and has never had a gut upgrade. Garage needs a lot work, a really great garage and well worth saving. I might be very unhappy if I try to do all this work on a piece by piece basis and find I got a lot less value for a good percentage of the gut redo package over the next 3-5 years.When I decided my “starter” house would be my “forever” house because I wanted to retire asap, I made a spreadsheet of everything I wanted to do to my house to make it my forever home. I organized my spreadsheet by priorities and rooms. My first phase was things I needed to do to protect the integrity of the house. Meaning tending to everything that could damage the house sooner or later. Fortunately for me, even though my house was old, it was a sturdy little brick house that the previous owners had taken good care of, so that list wasn’t long or very expensive. It helped that I’d already had the roof replaced. I’d also already upgraded my electric panel and replaced my almost 20yo water heater because it failed and ran rivers of water down my hallway that had the original wood floors. Then I moved on to things that made my house “function” better for me. That wasn’t a long list of expensive stuff either. I’d already replaced my dishwasher. During that stage, I replaced the microwave over my stove with a range hood (the microwave didn’t work anymore anyway after my children set my stove on fire), bought a really nice used stove for $150 (mine was on its last legs after the fire). I replaced the vent in the hall bathroom with a quieter one with a light to brighten the bathroom, replaced outdoor lights on both the front and back porches with dusk to dawn lights so they came on and went off automatically every day, even when I was out of town. Replaced some faucets. A lot of little things like that. Then I moved on to stuff I just wanted to change. I paid somebody to paint my den, kitchen and dining area and smooth those ceilings and some other minor work. It was a disaster. He messed up so much stuff in my house, I’d still be tempted to punch him if I saw him today. So when I got back on painting, I figured I could mess stuff up myself, for free. But I did my research on tips to paint properly, then took my time painting while I was on 2 weeks vacation. I painted a bedroom, the living room, and the hall…. ceilings, walls, trim, everything. I got so good at it, that I stopped having to use tape. I cash flowed all of the above, while also saving up for bigger projects, like my kitchen. It didn’t make sense to do much in there yet, because all the other stuff I wanted to do, wouldn’t work too well if I did it piece by piece. My plan was to eventually replace the cabinets, countertops and flooring. It seemed like it just made sense to do all of that at the same time. My kitchen was tiny, so that wouldn’t have cost a ridiculous amount of money. So, I tried looking at the things you say need to be done, and all of it looks important to me lol. And that’s not even getting to the fun part of putting your own personal stamp and style on it. And we’re potentially over $150k already? Sheesh! I think that if I were you, I would start doing the things that really need to be done. Like the roof and whatever else needs to be done to prevent the house being damaged. Then repair the things that are structurally part of the house like the porch and decks. Idk where the siding fits in, idk if it needs replacing because it’s not doing it’s job anymore, or for cosmetic reasons. Anyway, after fixing everything that NEEDS to be fixed, then I would reassess and figure out if I want to keep going. Imo, if you do it that way, you’ll be doing stuff that needs to be done anyway, whether you continue to live there or you decide to sell it and get the most money you can for it. Most of the things you listed are projects/jobs that aren’t necessarily dependent on another project, unless your wishlist includes things that would require knocking walls down and/or making the house bigger. And except for the electric and plumbing. I think it makes sense to do both of those at the same time since both can require holes in the walls or opening them up, but I’m not absolutely sure on that. I’ve never done anything on the scale of what you are talking about, so I have a question that I hope doesn’t make me sound like a dummy. What is the purpose of the architect? Is that necessary because you want to make big changes to the house itself? Whatever you decide, I hope you let us know. I LOVE house stuff!
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giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 21,323
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Post by giramomma on Aug 15, 2022 8:15:38 GMT -5
Have you used a personal coach before? Are you sure that you don't have anything else going on, mental health wise that perhaps should be checked out? The loss of mojo, feeling burned out/always feeling stressed, feeling overwhelmed, that reminds me of my mom's depression that she's has experienced throughout her life.
Aside from that, there are tapes my mom repeats. Mom's house sounds somewhat like yours, in terms of needing to be fixed up. She's got some really bad settling issues, that may have even affected their cement slab floor. And her house hasn't been updated since circa 1979-1982, except for the roof and heating. I saw the receipts for pretty much most everything when I was helping her clean out papers after dad died. My mom tells me she was always too busy, too stressed, always the care taker and simply just.could.not do anything. And now, look how overwhelmed she is. Not only is the house an issue, but it needs to be decluttered and cleaned.
Yet, there was time for daytrips and vacations. There was time for volunteering and bowling leagues WHILE my dad was still doing well. For the first 5 years of treatment (when he was just on chemo), he pretty much lived normally, mowed their lawn, etc. They could have got new wills, made sure their paperwork for the inevitable was taken care of.
I know my mom was convinced my dad was going to be cured of cancer that was already all over his body...when they diagnosed him....but, I think most of us would say.."Hmmm, I've been given a stage IV diagnosis at 67. I'm not going to live until I'm 87. I should take care of somethings, now." (I mean, good lord, I was like crap, I got cancer, and I could get it again. Maybe I should start doing things so that incase something happens to me, my husband and kids will not be overwhelmed. But, it's not fun. As evidence, I submit my constant complaining about it over on the what are you doing now thread.)
It is not my job to rescue my mother from the consequences of her choices. It is not my job to take over when she has been so abusive to elderly volunteer services that they won't deal with her anymore, referring her to other places that offer mental health resources. When your mom says "I need, it is urgent.." do you react and just do, or do you stop and work through it?
I absolutely cannot trust what my mom says. I wish I could, but I can't. And I'm unwilling to drop everything (work, the kids, taking care of my home, taking care of myself) for someone that tells me things that may have some truth behind them, but mostly of the time it's reality altered to fit emotional narratives. Yes. It makes me look like an asshole, especially to those who don't know.
Boundaries are good.
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laterbloomer
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 26, 2018 0:50:42 GMT -5
Posts: 4,350
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Post by laterbloomer on Aug 15, 2022 9:38:59 GMT -5
You had a big range in what the renos could cost. Why such a large difference? Can you do it for $300,000 and be happy with the result? I know I have some projects on my DIY list for when I retire. Partly because of cost savings and partly because of personal interest in doing it.
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swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
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Post by swamp on Aug 15, 2022 10:06:52 GMT -5
I hate doing home maintenance.
Personally, I would sell the place and get a condo and use my money to travel, or buy hookers and blow, or anything that didn't involve home maintenance.
But you do you. You can afford the renovations.
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