Retired. Now what?

[bean29]

My Mom took a stained glass class at the local senior center. I would say she did it for at least 10 years. The participants were a variety of ages and the two teachers were about 15 years older than her. It was about 1x per week and they did a few projects a year. You could do something like that with both a project and a social component, then age difference might not matter. Golf, bowling or darts? I have a co-worker that does a sewing circle group at her church. They do projects and donate to various charitable causes.

[debthaven]

My biggest fear is having to garden. I love my garden, but I absolutely LOATHE gardening. Everyone expects retirees to garden ... I'd rather keep working!

I'm planning to follow Tennesseer 's advice and cut down. I'm cutting down a bit in fall semester, then officially retiring as of 1 Jan (I think), then cutting down significantly more in Spring semester, but continuing to work (MUCH less). 

I'm also hedging my bets ... I'll be doing a half-day of "regular" classes at both Job 1 and Job 2 in the spring (as well as the faculty/staff classes I will keep post-retirement, plus one or two electives at Job 2.) So if ever I decide I need/want to continue working, I'll still be on the roster for the following school year. 

I find that reassuring. I find the idea of going from 100% to zero extremely disconcerting. I'm sure I'll give up more the following year (or even stop completely), but the idea of stopping gradually really speaks to me. 

PS In my suburb, the two activities everybody loves are: ballroom dancing, and hiking. FWIW. 

[gambler]

By gardening I grow tomatoes, bell peppers and jalapenos in 5 gal buckets. No weeding grow really well not into in ground stuff to much work

[Tennesseer]

Jun 27, 2022 18:24:44 GMT -5 debthaven said:

My biggest fear is having to garden. I love my garden, but I absolutely LOATHE gardening. Everyone expects retirees to garden ... I'd rather keep working!

I'm planning to follow Tennesseer 's advice and cut down. I'm cutting down a bit in fall semester, then officially retiring as of 1 Jan (I think), then cutting down significantly more in Spring semester, but continuing to work (MUCH less). 

I'm also hedging my bets ... I'll be doing a half-day of "regular" classes at both Job 1 and Job 2 in the spring (as well as the faculty/staff classes I will keep post-retirement, plus one or two electives at Job 2.) So if ever I decide I need/want to continue working, I'll still be on the roster for the following school year. 

I find that reassuring. I find the idea of going from 100% to zero extremely disconcerting. I'm sure I'll give up more the following year (or even stop completely), but the idea of stopping gradually really speaks to me. 

PS In my suburb, the two activities everybody loves are: ballroom dancing, and hiking. FWIW. 

My last week of work I taught a new group of managers HR practices along with policies and procedures. As was the long standing practice regarding Fridays, I let the managers out at 11:30 a.m. so they could catch their flights and get home in time for dinner.

Once the managers left the training room, I gathered up all my training supplies, put them in the storage room, closed the training room door and exited the building for the very last time as an active employee. Met some of my peers for lunch and that was it! A fun and intrresting 30 years,

[haapai]

There is probably a better way of saying what I am about to say. 

There's "staying busy" and there's "being around other people".  It may help to be uncomfortably honest with yourself regarding what you want and need. 

I love jigsaw puzzles and I love knitting socks on small needles and I enjoy sudoku, but they mostly fill time.  These pass-times are incredibly cheap per hour, but if you are craving human interaction; they probably won't fill that craving. 

It's kinda dangerous to deny that craving for other humans.  We all differ on how much we need but most of us deteriorate and become vulnerable (or become vulnerable and deteriorate) if we do not get enough interaction.  Most of us need far more human interaction than we are willing to admit. 

There's nothing shameful about taking a paid job that nets you very little after accounting for expenses and taxes or doing volunteer work that costs you a surprising amount per hour of time filled.  Just be honest with yourself about what you are after. 

[laterbloomer]

Any chance you have a drinking problem? 😉 I'm an alcoholic sober 28 years. I belong to AA. Between daily meetings, conferences and what we call service work (the rest of the world calls it volunteer work) I will have fellowship and things to do wherever I am as long as I'm capable.

I also want to get better at my hobbies. I'm looking at sewing classes and wood working/furniture refinishing.

Not to mention the road trips I want to do with the van and snow birding to warmer climates.

[haapai]

Jun 28, 2022 19:50:47 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Any chance you have a drinking problem? 😉 I'm an alcoholic sober 28 years. I belong to AA. Between daily meetings, conferences and what we call service work (the rest of the world calls it volunteer work) I will have fellowship and things to do wherever I am as long as I'm capable.

I also want to get better at my hobbies. I'm looking at sewing classes and wood working/furniture refinishing.

nidena will probably want to know whether that question was addressed to her or me. 

[laterbloomer]

Jun 28, 2022 20:07:25 GMT -5 haapai said:

Jun 28, 2022 19:50:47 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Any chance you have a drinking problem? 😉 I'm an alcoholic sober 28 years. I belong to AA. Between daily meetings, conferences and what we call service work (the rest of the world calls it volunteer work) I will have fellowship and things to do wherever I am as long as I'm capable.

I also want to get better at my hobbies. I'm looking at sewing classes and wood working/furniture refinishing.

nidena will probably want to know whether that question was addressed to her or me. 

It was more of a funny way to lead into my retirement plans.

[Deleted]

Jun 28, 2022 19:50:47 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Any chance you have a drinking problem? 😉 I'm an alcoholic sober 28 years. I belong to AA. Between daily meetings, conferences and what we call service work (the rest of the world calls it volunteer work) I will have fellowship and things to do wherever I am as long as I'm capable.

It's good to have a supportive community and to help support others- the church does that for me and I'm sure you've helped many people on their way to sobriety.  One of my favorite sayings is that there are 3 essentials in life:  something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.

This reminded me, though, of my Dad's admonition when I retired abruptly.  He told me to watch the alcohol.  He and Mom cut way back when they realized they were bringing out the wine earlier and earlier in the afternoon.  They were more careful after that- still brought it out at 5 but never overdid it as far as I could tell.  Alcohol abuse killed my first husband (many years after we divorced) so I have a healthy respect for it.  I have 2 oz. of scotch every night.  I measure it.

[nidena]

There is alcoholism in my family so I've always been mindful of indulging.

This year, I think my consumption would equate to that of 2-3 bottles of wine, total.  

When I assess and recognize the times that I'm drinking to escape, I dial back and really look at what I'm trying to escape.  The most I've consumed at any one time was in March while at my parents and the combination is not lost on me.

And, haapai, you make a very good point about distinguishing the goal(s).

[irishpad]

So I am jealous.   All of my siblings have retired.  (Older brother at 51, older sister at 62, younger brother at 56)  In my job, "early" retirement is at 70, ten years away.   I am not paid much so have to work that long and then live frugally.  For my first 31 years of work, was putting in 70-80 hours a week.  Current assignment is a major break for me, just 40-50 hours/week.  My retirement plans?  Would love to do mindless part time work like bagging groceries      Love to read so that is also on my list.   Would likely also have weekend substitute work on a regular basis.   One of the things that has kept me sane through the year is having a vegetable garden.  I hope to continue that.    Again, I'm jealous of all of you!   

[laterbloomer]

Jun 29, 2022 10:29:13 GMT -5 irishpad said:

So I am jealous.   All of my siblings have retired.  (Older brother at 51, older sister at 62, younger brother at 56)  In my job, "early" retirement is at 70, ten years away.   I am not paid much so have to work that long and then live frugally.  For my first 31 years of work, was putting in 70-80 hours a week.  Current assignment is a major break for me, just 40-50 hours/week.  My retirement plans?  Would love to do mindless part time work like bagging groceries      Love to read so that is also on my list.   Would likely also have weekend substitute work on a regular basis.   One of the things that has kept me sane through the year is having a vegetable garden.  I hope to continue that.    Again, I'm jealous of all of you!   

That's what you get for answering the call. The rest of us let it go to voicemail.

[susana1954]

When I retired, my husband was rapidly declining.  I had no idea how rapidly.  I retired in June, and he died in October.

Three years later, I am somewhat bored.  Not terribly so because church keeps me busy (Sunday Services, Monday Women's Fun Day, Wednesday meal/Bible Study, Thursday prayer group + Women's Circle at least once a month), but still a little.  At least I am active and making new friends outside my work circle.  I think that is really important.

[Deleted]

Jun 29, 2022 13:51:37 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

At least I am active and making new friends outside my work circle. I think that is really important.

Totally agreed.  I saw Dad's world getting smaller and smaller as he had to give up driving and moved to Assisted Living and then a smaller unit in the main building of the facility (because the bigger unit required a drive to the main building for meals and activities) and then LTC after his stroke.  My brother and SIL did a lot for him, including bringing him home for dinner once a week before his stroke (and COVID) but I dread the time when it's just me, books and the TV.

I try not to whine because I can't bicycle up hills anymore.

[Tennesseer]

Jun 29, 2022 13:33:59 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Jun 29, 2022 10:29:13 GMT -5 irishpad said:

So I am jealous.   All of my siblings have retired.  (Older brother at 51, older sister at 62, younger brother at 56)  In my job, "early" retirement is at 70, ten years away.   I am not paid much so have to work that long and then live frugally.  For my first 31 years of work, was putting in 70-80 hours a week.  Current assignment is a major break for me, just 40-50 hours/week.  My retirement plans?  Would love to do mindless part time work like bagging groceries      Love to read so that is also on my list.   Would likely also have weekend substitute work on a regular basis.   One of the things that has kept me sane through the year is having a vegetable garden.  I hope to continue that.    Again, I'm jealous of all of you!   

That's what you get for answering the call. The rest of us let it go to voicemail.

😀

[haapai]

Jun 29, 2022 13:51:37 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

When I retired, my husband was rapidly declining.  I had no idea how rapidly.  I retired in June, and he died in October.

Three years later, I am somewhat bored.  Not terribly so because church keeps me busy (Sunday Services, Monday Women's Fun Day, Wednesday meal/Bible Study, Thursday prayer group + Women's Circle at least once a month), but still a little.  At least I am active and making new friends outside my work circle.  I think that is really important.

An awful lot of people retire under similar circumstances.  It needs to be talked about more.  I didn't even know the guy whose retirement party was cancelled and notices for his wife's memorial service were posted instead, but this needs to be talked about more. 

It isn't always a spouse's care-taking or steep decline that precipitates a retirement either.  It's often a parent or a parent-in-law or a sibling.  (Once your parents have passed on, being there for a sibling, even if they have a partner and/or kids, can seem incredibly important but very difficult to explain to others.) 

I cannot tell you how many proud people that I work with have not been able to retire quick enough to take care of or spend time with people that they love dearly.  There are many people that I've worked with but wasn't close to who have broken into tears while describing how they just could not be there when their loved ones needed them. 

[Deleted]

Jun 29, 2022 16:41:51 GMT -5 haapai said:

I cannot tell you how many proud people that I work with have not been able to retire quick enough to take care of or spend time with people that they love dearly.  There are many people that I've worked with but wasn't close to who have broken into tears while describing how they just could not be there when their loved ones needed them. 

[/div][/quote]

I'm grateful that I retired at 61, earlier than planned. It was May, 2014. The following month DH and I went on an Alaskan cruise and in 2015 we went to Iceland, which turned out to be one of our best trips. We also downsized and picked out a house we both loved, where I still live. He was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia in July, 2016 and died in November. Only the last couple of months required really intensive monitoring and caregiving- he was a fall risk, he was weak and he kept losing track of what pills he'd taken. I would have been torn into pieces trying to hold down a job even though I probably could have worked from home.

He'd taken care of so many people in his life that I was glad to be there for him.

[giramomma]

Jun 29, 2022 16:41:51 GMT -5 haapai said:

An awf

I cannot tell you how many proud people that I work with have not been able to retire quick enough to take care of or spend time with people that they love dearly.  There are many people that I've worked with but wasn't close to who have broken into tears while describing how they just could not be there when their loved ones needed them. 

I know that we are fortunate that we could make things work on a reduced income. We planned on DH only working part-time from the moment he took over the primary caregiver role in our house.

I work a flexible job, combined with a spouse that works part time...I was pretty much able to literally drop everything and go to my mom when my dad died.

The three weeks Dad was rapidly declining, Mom refusing my offers to help. Even when dad went into hospice, I offered to come to support her a couple of times. She refused. Finally, she decided she wanted me to be home when she called to tell me he had just died. That was at 8am. Within two hours, I was packed, cleared everything with work, cleared the kids' schedule with DH, made housing accommodations for myself, and was on the road.

Having DH work part time while I had my treatments was a also a godsend.

I'm 47. Retiring that early isn't an option, given my circumstances.  The best we can do is choose to work less.

[quack]

Went back to work at the same company, two days a week. Gives me some structure, easy since i know the job, and plenty of time to do chores (we take care of a lot of land), read or just chill. 70 yo sister is going to do the same, ease into full retirement 

[debthaven]

I saw K today at Job 2. K is my former head of department, he hired me about 8 years ago to do the interviews for prospective students. He retired a year later. I applied (and was hired) to teach there a year after that.

We are currently doing interviews for prospective students. ALL the recent retirees come up for that, even the ones who live far away! (K now lives in the south of France, but he's not the only one who comes up.)

K told me a few things I found very interesting. He likes to come up to see friends and former colleagues. He also likes to talk to the prospective students so he keeps abreast with young people and their concerns. That's pretty obvious, I agree, and plan to do the same!

But I found his last comment really fascinating ... K said if we love or even just like our jobs, we sometimes spend years torturing ourselves deciding when to retire, because it's such a major decision. He said, I tortured myself about that for YEARS! And then suddenly, one day, I was DONE.

I found that very interesting! Hopefully it will happen to me too one day LOL. 

PS. I just got my schedule for fall semester ... I AM cutting back!

[jerseygirl]

Took me 5 tries to finally retire, The last 3 projects I had required a lot of intense studying and preparation since the projects were on orphan drugs with very unique methods of action and rare unusual diseases, After all this intense work the projects were cancelled,

So I made a decision to not even look at offered projects as if interesting I’d be very tempted. It’s been almost a year snd I’m finally happy and busy and enjoying retirement
I’m busy on a board of a charity and making our property inviting for birds and insects (they’re beautiful!)

[irishpad]

Jun 29, 2022 16:52:32 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Jun 29, 2022 16:41:51 GMT -5 haapai said:

I cannot tell you how many proud people that I work with have not been able to retire quick enough to take care of or spend time with people that they love dearly.  There are many people that I've worked with but wasn't close to who have broken into tears while describing how they just could not be there when their loved ones needed them. 

[/div][/quote]

I'm grateful that I retired at 61, earlier than planned. It was May, 2014. The following month DH and I went on an Alaskan cruise and in 2015 we went to Iceland, which turned out to be one of our best trips. We also downsized and picked out a house we both loved, where I still live. He was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia in July, 2016 and died in November. Only the last couple of months required really intensive monitoring and caregiving- he was a fall risk, he was weak and he kept losing track of what pills he'd taken. I would have been torn into pieces trying to hold down a job even though I probably could have worked from home.

He'd taken care of so many people in his life that I was glad to be there for him.[/quote]



Dad died of the same cancer.  In some ways, a good way to go.   Was able to be with him most of the 80 days between his diagnosis and his death.  

[nidena]

One nice thing about not being in the rat race: If my body says "We're "noping" today", I can just chillax and nap when I need to.  Today was one such "nope" day.

[nidena]

In talking to my Edward Jones person a week or so ago, they mentioned that it's not all that necessary for me to wait to draw on Social Security when the time comes...that the extra amount that I would make by waiting until I'm 70ish is negligible when compared to drawing at 62ish.  Makes sense to me.  I still have more than a decade to decide.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Jul 3, 2022 20:41:53 GMT -5 nidena said:

In talking to my Edward Jones person a week or so ago, they mentioned that it's not all that necessary for me to wait to draw on Social Security when the time comes...that the extra amount that I would make by waiting until I'm 70ish is negligible when compared to drawing at 62ish.  Makes sense to me.  I still have more than a decade to decide.

Depends what you consider "negligible".   The break even age is 78.  The only reasons I can think of to take it early is if you need the money or you are pretty sure you're not going to live to 78.

[NoNamePerson]

Jul 3, 2022 21:28:04 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Jul 3, 2022 20:41:53 GMT -5 nidena said:

In talking to my Edward Jones person a week or so ago, they mentioned that it's not all that necessary for me to wait to draw on Social Security when the time comes...that the extra amount that I would make by waiting until I'm 70ish is negligible when compared to drawing at 62ish.  Makes sense to me.  I still have more than a decade to decide.

Depends what you consider "negligible".   The break even age is 78.  The only reasons I can think of to take it early is if you need the money or you are pretty sure you're not going to live to 78.

I decided to take early because of the bottom line at end of chart! They kept moving the goal post so I said screw this. I was fine without it and I drug up work at 60. My biggest grip was having to start drawing from ira at 70 1/2.    

To each his own. 

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2022 0:38:34 GMT -5 irishpad said:

Dad died of the same cancer.  In some ways, a good way to go.   Was able to be with him most of the 80 days between his diagnosis and his death.  

I agree. I was on a FB page for people who had AML or had loved ones with it and I actually asked how the end looked. Mostly people either just faded away or had some acute infection that raged through their bodies and they were gone in 24 hours. DH and I found that reassuring- and he did jut fade away.

Jul 3, 2022 20:41:53 GMT -5 nidena said:

In talking to my Edward Jones person a week or so ago, they mentioned that it's not all that necessary for me to wait to draw on Social Security when the time comes...that the extra amount that I would make by waiting until I'm 70ish is negligible when compared to drawing at 62ish.  Makes sense to me.  I still have more than a decade to decide.

Like MPL, I disagree.  Remember Edward Jones stands to gain if you take SS early and delay withdrawing from your money in their accounts.

There are many reasons to take early or late and there are multiple threads about it on the Early Retirement Boards but be wary of advice from someone with skin in the game.

[TheOtherMe]

Jul 3, 2022 20:41:53 GMT -5 nidena said:

In talking to my Edward Jones person a week or so ago, they mentioned that it's not all that necessary for me to wait to draw on Social Security when the time comes...that the extra amount that I would make by waiting until I'm 70ish is negligible when compared to drawing at 62ish.  Makes sense to me.  I still have more than a decade to decide.

I think WEP comes into consideration here.  

I also now know that waiting until 70 did me know good.  I only did it because I thought WEP would mean I would not receive SS.

Nidena needs to make that calculation before deciding at what age to take SS.  

Once I was no longer working, the calculating didn't change so I should have taken it when I became eligible for the full benefit.

I was making too much working tax season jobs to consider SS at 62.

[nidena]

I appreciate the feedback.  I forget that even if they mean well, they're still going to default to what nets them best.

In the EJ accounts, I have less than $18k, total, with $5k being in the Roth .  With my ongoing military pension and disability, there's little incentive to contribute more.

The Social Security website has my amounts as such:
62 -- $1220
67 -- $1758
70 -- $2181

Negligible might have been the wrong word.  But it's more along the lines of...will my life be $900 better if I delay taking Soc Sec until I'm 70?  Even if I knew I wasn't going to pass until I was 75, it would be better to have $1200/mo for 13 years than $2100/mo for 5 years.

[Deleted]

Jul 4, 2022 9:38:16 GMT -5 nidena said:

Negligible might have been the wrong word.  But it's more along the lines of...will my life be $900 better if I delay taking Soc Sec until I'm 70?  Even if I knew I wasn't going to pass until I was 75, it would be better to have $1200/mo for 13 years than $2100/mo for 5 years.

Don't forget that the $900/month difference will increase over time due to COLA.  

I can see why that may be less of a difference in your case, though, given that you have other income.  I had an easier decision since I started collecting Survivor benefits on DH's record when I was 61 so I was already getting decent SS payments on his record.  On my own record, I would have collected $1,600/month less at 62 than at 69, when I filed.  Before taxes, of course.