what are you doing right now?

[andi9899]

What should I make for dinner? I'm alone this weekend, so I don’t really want to cook. I'm leaning towards kraft mac and cheese, but I'd like to be healthier than that. Thoughts?

[Deleted]

Dec 22, 2022 18:09:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

What should I make for dinner? I'm alone this weekend, so I don’t really want to cook. I'm leaning towards kraft mac and cheese, but I'd like to be healthier than that. Thoughts?

Add something green like spinach or green beans.  Or brown like beans or bacon.  Green and brown are earth colors, so they have to be healthy, right? 

[chiver78]

Dec 22, 2022 18:04:59 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Dec 22, 2022 17:55:25 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

What I’m doing is trying not to cry. My Mom called me this afternoon and told me the heat went out a couple days ago, and her and my daughter had the bright idea to try not to stress me and Mister (who went to school for HVAC) out, and try to get my kids’ Dad or my Uncle to fix it. 

None of that worked out, so she finally texted me about it this afternoon. I did NOT want to have to call Mister about that. He was at work, 30 minutes away from home, where his tools are, then it’s another 40 minutes to the house. That house and his job are only like 20 minutes away from each other.

AND the forecast called for rain/ice/snow this afternoon, AND it’s supposed to get down to 4 degrees tonight. So Mister had someone else he knows that does that kind of work to over there. He got it running. RELIEF!

Not 20 minutes later, I got a text from the utility company saying they had detected a power outage in the area. When I was getting ready to call my Mom, she called me, saying the power is out at the house. It’s already sleeting/snowing and it’s too far for me to go get her. I’m sure the house was already cold, since there hasn’t been any heat on for a couple of days and it was only running for maybe 20 minutes before the power went out.

My nerves are SO bad right now. WHYYYYYY is my life like this?!

I could say some things that wouldn't be helpful, so I didn't  .  Can your daughter or someone get over there to turn off the water supply so the pipes don't blow?

☝️this. can you house your mom this weekend through the storm, and Mister (or the utility) can evaluate after? this sounds like it's gonna be a huge mess, however it all goes, and I'm so sorry. 😕

[chiver78]

Dec 22, 2022 18:09:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

What should I make for dinner? I'm alone this weekend, so I don’t really want to cook. I'm leaning towards kraft mac and cheese, but I'd like to be healthier than that. Thoughts?

you can mix in a bunch of roasted veggies, and its not awful. I'll do broccoli or Brussels, that I'll just stir in after I mix up the box. it makes me feel less icky about having Kraft dinner. lol.....but I keep having a couple boxes in the cabinet. 🤷‍♀️

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 22, 2022 18:04:59 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Dec 22, 2022 17:55:25 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

What I’m doing is trying not to cry. My Mom called me this afternoon and told me the heat went out a couple days ago, and her and my daughter had the bright idea to try not to stress me and Mister (who went to school for HVAC) out, and try to get my kids’ Dad or my Uncle to fix it. 

None of that worked out, so she finally texted me about it this afternoon. I did NOT want to have to call Mister about that. He was at work, 30 minutes away from home, where his tools are, then it’s another 40 minutes to the house. That house and his job are only like 20 minutes away from each other.

AND the forecast called for rain/ice/snow this afternoon, AND it’s supposed to get down to 4 degrees tonight. So Mister had someone else he knows that does that kind of work to over there. He got it running. RELIEF!

Not 20 minutes later, I got a text from the utility company saying they had detected a power outage in the area. When I was getting ready to call my Mom, she called me, saying the power is out at the house. It’s already sleeting/snowing and it’s too far for me to go get her. I’m sure the house was already cold, since there hasn’t been any heat on for a couple of days and it was only running for maybe 20 minutes before the power went out.

My nerves are SO bad right now. WHYYYYYY is my life like this?!

I could say some things that wouldn't be helpful, so I didn't  .  Can your daughter or someone get over there to turn off the water supply so the pipes don't blow?

I told her to go ahead and get the faucets dripping. Outside temps are right at freezing now.

I also told her that it was WAYYYY more stressful to wait until the last minute to tell me, than it would’ve been for her to tell me a couple days ago. If I’d known the first day it went out, Mister could’ve taken his tools to work with him the next day. Or something!

I also told her that when I lived in my Grandmother’s house, when something needed to be fixed, I ALWAYS told my Grandmother about it before I did anything, in case she had some specific person she wanted to work on that certain kind of thing on HER house. I paid for all the maintenance and repairs, I just felt like it was only right to get my Grandmother’s approval before I did something or found somebody to work on whatever, because she was the property owner and the person ultimately responsible for the house if a repair went sideways. At that time, I’d never even owned a house myself, it just seemed like the respectful thing to do.

I told my Mom today that while she and DD might have meant well, I don’t like just anybody working on my house. TELL me when there is a problem and I will get it fixed but I can’t get shit fixed if I don’t even know about it. And I choose who I trust to work on my house. They KNOW I don’t let problems linger when it comes to my house, because I’m always afraid that what might be a small problem at first, could turn into a big problem if I don’t address it asap. But that is not how my Mom does things, she just doesn’t fix stuff if she can avoid it, and DD has never owned a house, so here we are.

The app for the utility company estimates the power should be back on by 8pm. I don’t have a lot of confidence in that, but please God, let them get it back on by then.

[swamp]

Dec 22, 2022 14:00:20 GMT -5 teen persuasion said:

Got the Robocall preemptively cancelling school for tomorrow at 9am. We've been trying to guess if Xmas at my parents' house will be happening, or not due to the weather. Talked with mom about it last night, she wants to wait & see. Everything I'm hearing about the forecast says NO WAY.

Let's see:
Rising temps tonight with rain, then a flash freeze early tomorrow.
Wind gusts up to 74 mph thru Friday and Saturday, dropping to the 24 mph range on Xmas day.
The lake is wide open at 40*, so the LES machine can crank with those winds, plus the wind is expected to push water levels up 12ft at our end of the lake, and may cause 24ft waves! TG we are not anywhere near waterfront.
Mom's snowbelt area is expected to get another 36in of snow (they still have that much on the ground left from the 6ft they got a few weeks ago). We are several colors out on that snowband range, but it's always up to the wind direction.

So we are prepping with the possibility of power outages due to the extended high wind gusts. DH and I (and everyone else) went shopping a few days ahead for staples. He made sure the generator started up. We've got dry wood stacked in the outer porch for the woodstove. I'm planning to cook a ham Xmas eve - I'd bought a ham at Aldi on Sunday at $1.49/lb, but didn't they have them today for $.85/lb, so I got another! I need to make another batch of soup, too, so will be cooking a bunch to keep the house warmer with the nasty windchills expected.

We have the same forecast. 

[cooper88]

It was supposed to get super cold tomorrow, or overnight anyway. I had this master plan of going to the other town I needed to visit today, being back by two when it should have been 45 - 50, and getting my grocery order today instead of tomorrow. It was going to be beautiful. The cold front moved in overnight. I skipped lunch and didn't get back until four. It was 22 and windy. I just shouldn't even make plans.

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 22, 2022 18:15:34 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Dec 22, 2022 18:04:59 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

I could say some things that wouldn't be helpful, so I didn't  .  Can your daughter or someone get over there to turn off the water supply so the pipes don't blow?

☝️this. can you house your mom this weekend through the storm, and Mister (or the utility) can evaluate after? this sounds like it's gonna be a huge mess, however it all goes, and I'm so sorry. 😕

I could, my Mom, kids and Grandkids came over here earlier this year when they all lost power for a few days due to snow. 

But it’s already sleeting/snowing and very windy, and I’m afraid to drive that far in those conditions. DD’s car is down and DS is at work almost an hour away from there. The battery in the Jeep is surely dead because it’s been sitting for months because I kept procrastinating on putting it in the shop because the oil pressure light was coming on. We have chargers to charge the battery, if it will even charge, but I still don’t want to drive it with that light coming on. The Tahoe has 4WD, but neither of us drive it enough to be entirely comfortable even in good weather, because it’s so big and heavy compared to our other vehicles. When I drive it, I am very cautious about braking and giving myself plenty of time to come to a stop, even when the streets are dry. I’m sure that’s just because I don’t have enough experience driving it to be completely comfortable, and not just a flaw with the Tahoe. But Mister doesn’t drive it enough to be totally comfortable in certain situations either.

And even with the Jeep, it performs well with snow. Ice is totally different. 

Anyway, she just responded to my text asking her to have the faucets dripping and the cabinet doors under the kitchen sink open, plus the doors to the laundry closet. Those are the water lines on exterior walls. She said it’s all done. But I don’t want HER to freeze either. Sighhhhh.

[Deleted]

Generator guy didn't come so we are heading into historic low temps with no backup and no expectation of the power holding, thank you Governor Abbott. And this company is the highest rated locally. My bad, of course, as they said I didn't call to schedule my annual tune-up. And they didn't remind me it was needed. I called 3 weeks ago when my weekly report showed a battery warning, but they screwed me around and here we are. Why am I paying $37/mo for monitoring when I have to scrutinize and interpret the damn technical reports and call them to deal with their crappy customer service people? So we will probably be without power tonight and don't think DH can make it with the heart issues he doesn't have . Sorry to whine, but I'm pissed and scared.

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 22, 2022 18:40:29 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Generator guy didn't come so we are heading into historic low temps with no backup and no expectation of the power holding, thank you Governor Abbott. And this company is the highest rated locally. My bad, of course, as they said I didn't call to schedule my annual tune-up. And they didn't remind me it was needed. I called 3 weeks ago when my weekly report showed a battery warning, but they screwed me around and here we are. Why am I paying $37/mo for monitoring when I have to scrutinize and interpret the damn technical reports and call them to deal with their crappy customer service people? So we will probably be without power tonight and don't think DH can make it with the heart issues he doesn't have . Sorry to whine, but I'm pissed and scared.

I don’t think that’s whining. I would be pissed and scared too. 

I can’t think of anything to say that might even have a small chance of making you feel a little better, so just know that I care and I hope and pray that nothing terrible happens and you and your DH get through this okay.

[chiver78]

Dec 22, 2022 18:39:14 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Dec 22, 2022 18:15:34 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

☝️this. can you house your mom this weekend through the storm, and Mister (or the utility) can evaluate after? this sounds like it's gonna be a huge mess, however it all goes, and I'm so sorry. 😕

I could, my Mom, kids and Grandkids came over here earlier this year when they all lost power for a few days due to snow. 

But it’s already sleeting/snowing and very windy, and I’m afraid to drive that far in those conditions. DD’s car is down and DS is at work almost an hour away from there. The battery in the Jeep is surely dead because it’s been sitting for months because I kept procrastinating on putting it in the shop because the oil pressure light was coming on. We have chargers to charge the battery, if it will even charge, but I still don’t want to drive it with that light coming on. The Tahoe has 4WD, but neither of us drive it enough to be entirely comfortable even in good weather, because it’s so big and heavy compared to our other vehicles. When I drive it, I am very cautious about braking and giving myself plenty of time to come to a stop, even when the streets are dry. I’m sure that’s just because I don’t have enough experience driving it to be completely comfortable, and not just a flaw with the Tahoe. But Mister doesn’t drive it enough to be totally comfortable in certain situations either.

And even with the Jeep, it performs well with snow. Ice is totally different. 

Anyway, she just responded to my text asking her to have the faucets dripping and the cabinet doors under the kitchen sink open, plus the doors to the laundry closet. Those are the water lines on exterior walls. She said it’s all done. But I don’t want HER to freeze either. Sighhhhh.

I'm sorry. 😕 I hope everything works out okay. it sounds like the house will be fine. hopefully she'll hunker down with some blankets if dhe needs to.

[giramomma]

Dec 22, 2022 18:09:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

What should I make for dinner? I'm alone this weekend, so I don’t really want to cook. I'm leaning towards kraft mac and cheese, but I'd like to be healthier than that. Thoughts?

I'm making sliders and ribs for my no cook meals. Easy sides: fruit salad, cole slaw, etc. maybe chips with the sliders.

I only have to make one rack of ribs. The other I already made and froze. We just never got around to eating them.

[daisylu]

Dec 22, 2022 18:09:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

What should I make for dinner? I'm alone this weekend, so I don’t really want to cook. I'm leaning towards kraft mac and cheese, but I'd like to be healthier than that. Thoughts?

When it's just me I do a grilled cheese sandwich. Of course, I'm rarely ever alone.

[daisylu]

Dec 22, 2022 17:55:25 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

What I’m doing is trying not to cry. My Mom called me this afternoon and told me the heat went out a couple days ago, and her and my daughter had the bright idea to try not to stress me and Mister (who went to school for HVAC) out, and try to get my kids’ Dad or my Uncle to fix it. 

None of that worked out, so she finally texted me about it this afternoon. I did NOT want to have to call Mister about that. He was at work, 30 minutes away from home, where his tools are, then it’s another 40 minutes to the house. That house and his job are only like 20 minutes away from each other.

AND the forecast called for rain/ice/snow this afternoon, AND it’s supposed to get down to 4 degrees tonight. So Mister had someone else he knows that does that kind of work to over there. He got it running. RELIEF!

Not 20 minutes later, I got a text from the utility company saying they had detected a power outage in the area. When I was getting ready to call my Mom, she called me, saying the power is out at the house. It’s already sleeting/snowing and it’s too far for me to go get her. I’m sure the house was already cold, since there hasn’t been any heat on for a couple of days and it was only running for maybe 20 minutes before the power went out.

My nerves are SO bad right now. WHYYYYYY is my life like this?!

I know you don't want to hear this right now, but your mom is not respecting as the homeowner. I have nothing to offer at the moment, but IMO it is time for you to sell that home. I know it has sentimental value to you, but your mom is taking advantage in a way that may end up in seriously damaging it. I could forgive my old ass mom, but I would have issue with my child not contacting me about a house that I own.

I'm sorry that ya'll just can't catch a break. (Hugs)

[busymom]

Dec 22, 2022 18:40:29 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Generator guy didn't come so we are heading into historic low temps with no backup and no expectation of the power holding, thank you Governor Abbott. And this company is the highest rated locally. My bad, of course, as they said I didn't call to schedule my annual tune-up. And they didn't remind me it was needed. I called 3 weeks ago when my weekly report showed a battery warning, but they screwed me around and here we are. Why am I paying $37/mo for monitoring when I have to scrutinize and interpret the damn technical reports and call them to deal with their crappy customer service people? So we will probably be without power tonight and don't think DH can make it with the heart issues he doesn't have . Sorry to whine, but I'm pissed and scared.

   Can you find a room at a local hotel, and have the generator guy call you when he's on the way to your place?  Wishing you the best.  The temp here is -10, not including wind chill, so I've been layering up all day.  It seems like everyone is getting hit with bad weather right now.

    Hang in there!  

[CCL]

Dec 22, 2022 12:02:46 GMT -5 saveinla said:

bean29 - I have become allergic to things after 50 that I never had issues before. I have been told to avoid them as much as possible. I would suggest to try the allergy tests again just to make sure.

Me, too. You could try an elimination diet. That was the only way we figured out my allergies.

[Pink Cashmere]

I can’t see the street clearly from my windows, but our deck is already white, and it’s supposed to snow for a couple more hours. If I wasn’t worried about my Mom and my house, I’d be like a little kid looking forward to a snow day from school.

In other news, to try to distract myself, Mister thinks he may have hurt his Dad’s feelings this morning. Mister’s “happy place” at our house is in the den, mine is on the deck when the weather permits. He has all the speakers in the den fine tuned for his “sweet spot” in the den, the sofa he shares with the dogs. That’s also where he has his video games hooked up, so he can relieve some stress shooting at people virtually.

When he comes home from work, that’s where he goes to relax and change gears. In the morning, he sits in there drinking coffee and loving on the dogs while he watches tv, before he starts getting ready for work.

This morning, he went in the den like he always does, and his Dad had brought his pillow and covers from the bedroom and slept on the sofa. Mister has already been out of sorts because he hasn’t been able to get his alone time in the den when he gets home from work, and he was agitated about it seeping over into his morning ritual this morning. So he told his Dad that he at least needs that time to himself in the morning before he starts his day. His Dad apologized and then kept trying to have conversations with Mister anyway, and Mister got REALLY aggravated. I feel him on not wanting to talk to ANYBODY at 4:30 or 5 o’clock in the morning. I don’t really want to talk to anybody until at least 8am, and conversation might still be an ordeal for me at that time. I don’t really get my shit together until around 10am, even though I’ve been at work a few hours by then. My body might be there, but that doesn’t mean my brain is there yet. Fortunately for me, my job doesn’t require me to think.

So anyway, his Dad went back and laid in the bed for most of the day, but came back in the den as soon as Mister came home. That was kind of backwards regarding what Mister was talking about lol. I understand he is probably lonely and wants some company, or just wants to engage with his son, but I also understand Mister’s point because I know his routines and how he values his “alone” time. A decent compromise might be for his Dad to give him at least an hour in the den when he gets home from work. And not sleep on the sofa in the den. He has a whole bed and bedroom to himself to sleep in, and there is a tv in there with all the same stuff that’s on the tv in the den. And if he just really wants to be in the den, at least HUSH and let Mister do his thing for a little while.

HALLELUJAH! While I was typing this, my Mom called and said the power is back on. I am SO relieved!

[Deleted]

Dec 22, 2022 19:34:00 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I can’t see the street clearly from my windows, but our deck is already white, and it’s supposed to snow for a couple more hours. If I wasn’t worried about my Mom and my house, I’d be like a little kid looking forward to a snow day from school.

In other news, to try to distract myself, Mister thinks he may have hurt his Dad’s feelings this morning. Mister’s “happy place” at our house is in the den, mine is on the deck when the weather permits. He has all the speakers in the den fine tuned for his “sweet spot” in the den, the sofa he shares with the dogs. That’s also where he has his video games hooked up, so he can relieve some stress shooting at people virtually.

When he comes home from work, that’s where he goes to relax and change gears. In the morning, he sits in there drinking coffee and loving on the dogs while he watches tv, before he starts getting ready for work.

This morning, he went in the den like he always does, and his Dad had brought his pillow and covers from the bedroom and slept on the sofa. Mister has already been out of sorts because he hasn’t been able to get his alone time in the den when he gets home from work, and he was agitated about it seeping over into his morning ritual this morning. So he told his Dad that he at least needs that time to himself in the morning before he starts his day. His Dad apologized and then kept trying to have conversations with Mister anyway, and Mister got REALLY aggravated. I feel him on not wanting to talk to ANYBODY at 4:30 or 5 o’clock in the morning. I don’t really want to talk to anybody until at least 8am, and conversation might still be an ordeal for me at that time. I don’t really get my shit together until around 10am, even though I’ve been at work a few hours by then. My body might be there, but that doesn’t mean my brain is there yet. Fortunately for me, my job doesn’t require me to think.

So anyway, his Dad went back and laid in the bed for most of the day, but came back in the den as soon as Mister came home. That was kind of backwards regarding what Mister was talking about lol. I understand he is probably lonely and wants some company, or just wants to engage with his son, but I also understand Mister’s point because I know his routines and how he values his “alone” time. A decent compromise might be for his Dad to give him at least an hour in the den when he gets home from work. And not sleep on the sofa in the den. He has a whole bed and bedroom to himself to sleep in, and there is a tv in there with all the same stuff that’s on the tv in the den. And if he just really wants to be in the den, at least HUSH and let Mister do his thing for a little while.

HALLELUJAH! While I was typing this, my Mom called and said the power is back on. I am SO relieved!

I've only ever had one human I could talk to at that hour of the morning.  It was my across-the-street neighbor and we would get up at 3 to catch a 4 am flight to somewhere and never, ever stop talking all day and night.  I don't talk to DH before coffee but I could talk to her without caffeine.  I miss her and our adventures a lot.  

Hallelujah indeed, especially for your house

[Deleted]

Dec 22, 2022 19:30:36 GMT -5 busymom said:

Dec 22, 2022 18:40:29 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Generator guy didn't come so we are heading into historic low temps with no backup and no expectation of the power holding, thank you Governor Abbott. And this company is the highest rated locally. My bad, of course, as they said I didn't call to schedule my annual tune-up. And they didn't remind me it was needed. I called 3 weeks ago when my weekly report showed a battery warning, but they screwed me around and here we are. Why am I paying $37/mo for monitoring when I have to scrutinize and interpret the damn technical reports and call them to deal with their crappy customer service people? So we will probably be without power tonight and don't think DH can make it with the heart issues he doesn't have . Sorry to whine, but I'm pissed and scared.

   Can you find a room at a local hotel, and have the generator guy call you when he's on the way to your place?  Wishing you the best.  The temp here is -10, not including wind chill, so I've been layering up all day.  It seems like everyone is getting hit with bad weather right now.

    Hang in there!  

That would be a great idea if the spouse would admit there was an issue to be addressed.  But I live in Texas and he lives in the state of denial.  Thank you for your thoughts - it helps to keep me semi-sane

[MarionTh230]

Dec 22, 2022 18:40:29 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Generator guy didn't come so we are heading into historic low temps with no backup and no expectation of the power holding, thank you Governor Abbott. And this company is the highest rated locally. My bad, of course, as they said I didn't call to schedule my annual tune-up. And they didn't remind me it was needed. I called 3 weeks ago when my weekly report showed a battery warning, but they screwed me around and here we are. Why am I paying $37/mo for monitoring when I have to scrutinize and interpret the damn technical reports and call them to deal with their crappy customer service people? So we will probably be without power tonight and don't think DH can make it with the heart issues he doesn't have . Sorry to whine, but I'm pissed and scared.

I admittedly don't know anything about whole house backup generators (other than I need to get one). Is the light just a 'warning' or a 'oh crap it don't work no more' light? I'm sending hope, prayers, karma, luck, fairy dust, and anything else I can think of. I am beyond pissed on your behalf; that is incredulous!

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 22, 2022 19:27:05 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Dec 22, 2022 17:55:25 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

What I’m doing is trying not to cry. My Mom called me this afternoon and told me the heat went out a couple days ago, and her and my daughter had the bright idea to try not to stress me and Mister (who went to school for HVAC) out, and try to get my kids’ Dad or my Uncle to fix it. 

None of that worked out, so she finally texted me about it this afternoon. I did NOT want to have to call Mister about that. He was at work, 30 minutes away from home, where his tools are, then it’s another 40 minutes to the house. That house and his job are only like 20 minutes away from each other.

AND the forecast called for rain/ice/snow this afternoon, AND it’s supposed to get down to 4 degrees tonight. So Mister had someone else he knows that does that kind of work to over there. He got it running. RELIEF!

Not 20 minutes later, I got a text from the utility company saying they had detected a power outage in the area. When I was getting ready to call my Mom, she called me, saying the power is out at the house. It’s already sleeting/snowing and it’s too far for me to go get her. I’m sure the house was already cold, since there hasn’t been any heat on for a couple of days and it was only running for maybe 20 minutes before the power went out.

My nerves are SO bad right now. WHYYYYYY is my life like this?!

I know you don't want to hear this right now, but your mom is not respecting as the homeowner. I have nothing to offer at the moment, but IMO it is time for you to sell that home. I know it has sentimental value to you, but your mom is taking advantage in a way that may end up in seriously damaging it. I could forgive my old ass mom, but I would have issue with my child not contacting me about a house that I own.

I'm sorry that ya'll just can't catch a break. (Hugs)

Contrary to what some people around here seem to think, I don’t have a problem with you telling me something you think I probably don’t want to hear. It also just so happens, that your assessment of the situation is correct Imo and I agree with you that she does not respect me as the homeowner. She didn’t really respect me as the homeowner even before I moved. Because before I moved, she said “I just don’t think you get to tell me what to do, because I’m the parent and you’re the child”. And as angry as that made me, and as much as I wanted to jump up and down and act a fool and go in the backyard and howl at the moon even though it was daytime, and I probably had to grab my head to try to keep it from popping right off my neck in fury, I just told her “You live with ME, I don’t live with you. This is MY house and if you don’t like how I run my house, LEAVE! I didn’t ask you to come here, and I’m definitely not trying to make you stay here. I was just trying to help you, but if you don’t want to do what I ask you to do, in MY house, LEAVE!”

I always think about just selling the house to set myself free. But even if I do that, Imma still be REALLY mad, even more upset than I already am, because that was not my plan. From the time I decided to make what was supposed to be my “starter” house my “forever” house so I can retire ASAP, that house was part of my planning, whether I lived in it or not, and it was supposed to be there for whatever I decided or needed to do with it, rent it out or sell it, after I retire. 

When I’d finally gathered the nerve and courage to see an attorney about legally evicting her, since she absolutely refuses to leave on her own, along came COVID and I lost my nerve. Because who evicts their 70something year old Mother that has a few serious health issues and limited mobility during a deadly pandemic? I’ve not been able to get it back since.

[giramomma]

Pink,

I'm glad your mom's power is on.

You really might consider spending the money to go see an elder law lawyer and see what's what when things settle down. Dh and I are going to see one in a few weeks, actually.

I would also have a discussion with your DD about boundaries. You mom is not likely to understand/adhere to boundaries, but your kiddo should.

[andi9899]

I ended up with a breakfast burrito of sorts. I cut up some potatoes, smoked sausage, green pepper and had onions already cut up and cooked those. I felt like breakfast so I put eggs in a separate pan and spooned in some of my concoction. Then I put it in a big tortilla with cheese, salsa and sour cream. What I didn't mix with the egg can be eaten on its own for lunch drizzled with ranch dressing. I'll likely eat this all weekend.

[TheOtherMe]

Dec 22, 2022 19:34:00 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

This morning, he went in the den like he always does, and his Dad had brought his pillow and covers from the bedroom and slept on the sofa. Mister has already been out of sorts because he hasn’t been able to get his alone time in the den when he gets home from work, and he was agitated about it seeping over into his morning ritual this morning. So he told his Dad that he at least needs that time to himself in the morning before he starts his day. His Dad apologized and then kept trying to have conversations with Mister anyway, and Mister got REALLY aggravated. I feel him on not wanting to talk to ANYBODY at 4:30 or 5 o’clock in the morning. I don’t really want to talk to anybody until at least 8am, and conversation might still be an ordeal for me at that time. I don’t really get my shit together until around 10am, even though I’ve been at work a few hours by then. My body might be there, but that doesn’t mean my brain is there yet. Fortunately for me, my job doesn’t require me to think.



HALLELUJAH! While I was typing this, my Mom called and said the power is back on. I am SO relieved!

I'm so happy the power is back on.

You all know I must have my alone time.  I really needed it after the basketball game even though I had a great time.


As for alone time in the mornings, my mom got up really early and wanted to be totally alone from about 5:30 AM to 7 AM at least.  I remember her doing that from the time I was a kid.  We all knew that.  When her sister came there after some surgery before going home, as soon as she heard mom up, there she came and wanted to start talking.  I think that drove my mom insane and that was harder than the actually caring for her sister.

I think my dad's alone time back in those days came from his morning bathroom routine.  It took exactly one hour and don't you dare interrupt.  Very hard on little girls who need to use the bathroom in a one bathroom house.

[giramomma]

Dec 22, 2022 19:57:08 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

 Because who evicts their 70something year old Mother that has a few serious health issues and limited mobility during a deadly pandemic? I’ve not been able to get it back since.

What if you changed the narrative.

You have a 70something year old mother that eventually is going to be a danger to herself.

Wouldn't the most loving thing that you could do be get her in a situation where she safe?

I think this is one time where the ends justify the means.

You know, the roles are reversing. You are becoming the parent, your mom, the child.

I've been doing this parenting thing for 18 years, so far. Not as long as you, but I'm not a newbie anymore.

No once have I heard anyone say..."Allowing your kid to remain in dangerous situations where they can be really physically harmed? Watching your kid make unsafe decisions and doing nothing about it? Absolutely. That's Modeling parenting, and something we all should strive for."

[TheOtherMe]

My small town heating and cooling company takes very good care of it's regular customers.  Since I have been using them every year to check out my furnace and a/c, if I don't call, they call me.  I realize this is small town America at it's best.  

They called because they knew I had a water softener when they started bringing the sale for the "elderly".  Yeah, that made me feel good.  It's much cheaper than who I was using because they were in Platteville.  The guy who does it keeps track of it and calls me when it's time so all I have to do is pay the bill.  

He's also told me that he would work on my gas furnace if it ever needs servicing.  He said no one else who works there will work on those.

This is the good thing about small town America.  There's also lots of not so good things about small town America.

The wind is howling here and it must be howling at home because I keep getting notifications on my phone from the security system.

It was funny at the basketball game, that the screaming of kids having fun set off the loud noise detector on my watch.

[Deleted]

Dec 22, 2022 19:59:34 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I ended up with a breakfast burrito of sorts. I cut up some potatoes, smoked sausage, green pepper and had onions already cut up and cooked those. I felt like breakfast so I put eggs in a separate pan and spooned in some of my concoction. Then I put it in a big tortilla with cheese, salsa and sour cream. What I didn't mix with the egg can be eaten on its own for lunch drizzled with ranch dressing. I'll likely eat this all weekend.

Dang, that sounds good!

[TheOtherMe]

Dec 22, 2022 20:06:44 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Dec 22, 2022 19:57:08 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

 Because who evicts their 70something year old Mother that has a few serious health issues and limited mobility during a deadly pandemic? I’ve not been able to get it back since.

What if you changed the narrative.

You have a 70something year old mother that eventually is going to be a danger to herself.

Wouldn't the most loving thing that you could do be get her in a situation where she safe?

I think this is one time where the ends justify the means.

You know, the roles are reversing. You are becoming the parent, your mom, the child.

I've been doing this parenting thing for 18 years, so far. Not as long as you, but I'm not a newbie anymore.

No once have I heard anyone say..."Allowing your kid to remain in dangerous situations where they can be really physically harmed? Watching your kid make unsafe decisions and doing nothing about it? Absolutely. That's Modeling parenting, and something we all should strive for."

Gira, I should have consulted you on dealing with my sister when I was trying to get my dad in to a safe situation.  You are a wise woman.

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 22, 2022 19:57:24 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Pink,

I'm glad your mom's power is on.

You really might consider spending the money to go see an elder law lawyer and see what's what when things settle down. Dh and I are going to see one in a few weeks, actually.

I would also have a discussion with your DD about boundaries. You mom is not likely to understand/adhere to boundaries, but your kiddo should.

Trust me, I am going to talk to DD. 

The sad fact is that she still gets tangled up regarding boundaries when it comes to my Mom, even though my Mom has taken advantage of her too. DD struggles because that’s her Grandmother and she still hasn’t really figured out how to tell her “no”, even though I’ve been telling DD for years that as an adult with her own children to care for, it’s definitely okay for her to tell my Mom no, and that no is a complete sentence and doesn’t require explanation, especially when the request is absurd. My Mom bullies my daughter. And despite all the talking I do with her IRT my Mom, my daughter still allows it.

[MarionTh230]

Dec 22, 2022 20:01:08 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Dec 22, 2022 19:34:00 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

This morning, he went in the den like he always does, and his Dad had brought his pillow and covers from the bedroom and slept on the sofa. Mister has already been out of sorts because he hasn’t been able to get his alone time in the den when he gets home from work, and he was agitated about it seeping over into his morning ritual this morning. So he told his Dad that he at least needs that time to himself in the morning before he starts his day. His Dad apologized and then kept trying to have conversations with Mister anyway, and Mister got REALLY aggravated. I feel him on not wanting to talk to ANYBODY at 4:30 or 5 o’clock in the morning. I don’t really want to talk to anybody until at least 8am, and conversation might still be an ordeal for me at that time. I don’t really get my shit together until around 10am, even though I’ve been at work a few hours by then. My body might be there, but that doesn’t mean my brain is there yet. Fortunately for me, my job doesn’t require me to think.



HALLELUJAH! While I was typing this, my Mom called and said the power is back on. I am SO relieved!

I'm so happy the power is back on.

You all know I must have my alone time.  I really needed it after the basketball game even though I had a great time.


As for alone time in the mornings, my mom got up really early and wanted to be totally alone from about 5:30 AM to 7 AM at least.  I remember her doing that from the time I was a kid.  We all knew that.  When her sister came there after some surgery before going home, as soon as she heard mom up, there she came and wanted to start talking.  I think that drove my mom insane and that was harder than the actually caring for her sister.

I think my dad's alone time back in those days came from his morning bathroom routine.  It took exactly one hour and don't you dare interrupt.  Very hard on little girls who need to use the bathroom in a one bathroom house.

If DH and I are both awake at the same time in the morning, neither one of us speaks to each other until we have each finished at least one cup of coffee. Barring an emergency or sick kid situation anyways. I don't think it is unusual for people to need quiet time/alone time/down time. I love my kiddo more than life itself, but there have been mornings where she gets to me before I get to the coffee pot. I am typically able to at least mumble that is great honey but mommy needs to have a cup of coffee first. I need that quiet time to myself before I can get on with my day. And that first cup of coffee is sipped slowly. 30 to 45 minutes. To just sit and stare.