giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 10, 2024 8:20:50 GMT -5
I am very sorry for your loss, tractor.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Oct 10, 2024 8:44:49 GMT -5
Drive by post azucena It won't help you legally or anything, but there's a book featured in our book festival by someone named Mark Daley, "Safe: Memoir of Fatherhood, foster care and the risks we take for family." part of the tagline is "what happens when the longing for family crashes against the unique madness and beurocracy that often fails to consider the needs of the most vulnerable parties of all-the children themselves." As for nut, its not surprising. I think actually that parents not prioritizing their kids happens more often than we realize. It's just we pay attention more when the basics are met. I mean. DS used to tell me about it all the time when he'd hear stories of that at the kids' parochial school. There are things I will never understand about my mother after becoming a parent (and through my parenting journey, if you will). I have to let it go,. because you can't make sense of something that is senseless. That's the stuff that will drive you crazy. It sometimes help to understand the causes. You aren't likely going to get that in your position.
You are doing amazing. Thanks. Put it on hold at the library. Teen is up getting ready for her late start school day and she gets out at noon and will be having gf and friends over as will DD12 and DD16 so I'll have a full house to distract me today.
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Oct 10, 2024 8:47:33 GMT -5
Sorry for your loss, tractor
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Oct 10, 2024 8:48:09 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss tractor .
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Oct 10, 2024 8:48:48 GMT -5
My condolences tractor.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 10, 2024 9:15:17 GMT -5
Just kidding about being out of the woods. I have to get a biopsy.
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Cheesy FL-Vol
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"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." -- Helen Keller
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Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on Oct 10, 2024 9:33:25 GMT -5
I am really stoked. After nearly 2 years, our landscaping is finally getting started. We really had to wait until our front porch was reconstructed and the generator installed. By then things were getting so dry here in addition to the landscaper locating specific plants that we wanted.
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Oct 10, 2024 9:33:37 GMT -5
Just kidding about being out of the woods. I have to get a biopsy. Well that blows. Fingers crossed for it being a big ole false alarm.
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Oct 10, 2024 9:35:25 GMT -5
Hotline intake person must have done a number on the report bc it not only resulted in social worker visit but social worker needed to see teen within 3 hours of call. Ended up racing to meet them at church where teen had worked up the courage to join praise and worship band practice. Left worker outside and walked in to find teen singing her heart out. Yet another new social worker (6th one from the dept) only had to put eyes on her to confirm safety and didn't want to talk to her. Um, okay but you will hear me out. I was as polite as possible and at the end said that I appreciated how hard she works for all of the kids which made her a little teary eyed. Got an early morning call from prior social worker. She says she has fax confirmation that nut signed and faxed medical release two weeks ago to children's hospital. Okay but no one bothered to update us on this key step and I could have been attempting to call and shepherd it through. I gave her multiple neurologists numbers from our discharge papers. Numbers I had already given her 3 weeks ago but whatever. She attempted to tell me that we could maybe get release from teen's pediatrician. Um, not really bc we haven't seen her since April, she knows nothing about these seizures yet and it takes two months to get an appt. Apparently she hadn't paid attention to the new report and thought it was only based on tooth so I had to inform her of yesterday's missed appt. She half swore and said something like I've told bio that she has to stay on top of teen's medical needs and not block you. She also let slip that she'll need to talk to teen soon about siblings as the department has been informed of other things. Teen's mental health has plummeted these last 3 days in anticipation of this appt. Honestly so has mine, but unfortunately along with seizures teen is back to being self destructive. She challenged me on taking meds and other things last night and I said point blank that I'm not dropping her or standing by to watch the spiral. We are going to keep fighting together and we're leaving Friday to go pick out a college and come hell or high water I'll do my best to see her launch and even then she's part of my family and I expect to be white grandma to some beautiful black babies. This teasing earned me a reminder of she's not having any kids (in large part bc she's done so much childcare already in her young life and knows how hard it is and she's worried about perpetuating dysfunction) and she asked if I would finally figure out how to do black hair if there were grandkids. I just don’t understand how this is not legally actionable against nut as medical neglect. I am furious on your behalf with the whole system. But also enjoyed the vignette about white grandma and black hair
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Oct 10, 2024 9:40:15 GMT -5
Just kidding about being out of the woods. I have to get a biopsy. I'm so sorry. I'm sure they've told you that it's precautionary, they're just trying to make sure, etc. but that doesn't make it any less scary.
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Oct 10, 2024 9:44:53 GMT -5
So sorry to hear about your father, tractor. Hugs to you and yours.
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Oct 10, 2024 9:45:57 GMT -5
Just kidding about being out of the woods. I have to get a biopsy.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 10, 2024 9:51:56 GMT -5
Hotline intake person must have done a number on the report bc it not only resulted in social worker visit but social worker needed to see teen within 3 hours of call. Ended up racing to meet them at church where teen had worked up the courage to join praise and worship band practice. Left worker outside and walked in to find teen singing her heart out. Yet another new social worker (6th one from the dept) only had to put eyes on her to confirm safety and didn't want to talk to her. Um, okay but you will hear me out. I was as polite as possible and at the end said that I appreciated how hard she works for all of the kids which made her a little teary eyed. Got an early morning call from prior social worker. She says she has fax confirmation that nut signed and faxed medical release two weeks ago to children's hospital. Okay but no one bothered to update us on this key step and I could have been attempting to call and shepherd it through. I gave her multiple neurologists numbers from our discharge papers. Numbers I had already given her 3 weeks ago but whatever. She attempted to tell me that we could maybe get release from teen's pediatrician. Um, not really bc we haven't seen her since April, she knows nothing about these seizures yet and it takes two months to get an appt. Apparently she hadn't paid attention to the new report and thought it was only based on tooth so I had to inform her of yesterday's missed appt. She half swore and said something like I've told bio that she has to stay on top of teen's medical needs and not block you. She also let slip that she'll need to talk to teen soon about siblings as the department has been informed of other things. Teen's mental health has plummeted these last 3 days in anticipation of this appt. Honestly so has mine, but unfortunately along with seizures teen is back to being self destructive. She challenged me on taking meds and other things last night and I said point blank that I'm not dropping her or standing by to watch the spiral. We are going to keep fighting together and we're leaving Friday to go pick out a college and come hell or high water I'll do my best to see her launch and even then she's part of my family and I expect to be white grandma to some beautiful black babies. This teasing earned me a reminder of she's not having any kids (in large part bc she's done so much childcare already in her young life and knows how hard it is and she's worried about perpetuating dysfunction) and she asked if I would finally figure out how to do black hair if there were grandkids. I just don’t understand how this is not legally actionable against nut as medical neglect. I am furious on your behalf with the whole system. But also enjoyed the vignette about white grandma and black hair Because from a legal standpoint BT can go to the Medicaid dentist. It is being recommended, not required, she go to an Oral Surgeon. Bio nut is fulfilling her bare minimum parenting duties by agreeing she can see Medicaid dentist. That's good enough as far as the government is concerned. This is part of why I roll my eyes at people who claim those on government benefits are living the good life. No they are really not they are often subject to very substandard medical and dental care because of the roadblocks to getting better care and the lack of providers willing to take Medicaid. Bio nut clearly knows the system and is working it to her advantage. Which makes her an incredibly shitty excuse for a parent but it does not rise to medical neglect. It really is shocking to learn how low the bar is considered for parenting by the government. TBF this is also something I somewhat get BT CAN get dental care it's just not the dental care that would be ideal. Meanwhile there are immediate life/death situations kids are in and with social services not having decent funding or enough workers I can disagree but reluctantly understand why fighting to get BT into an oral surgeon outside her regular Medicaid dentist isn't a high priority for them. Bio nut isn't refusing care. She's refusing to take BT to an Oral Surgeon. Which all parents have a right to decide who their kid does and doesn't see medically. Shit you have the right to pray the cancer away if that is your choosing. We on here though tend to and are capable of providing more than just the lowest bar for care when it comes to our kids so for us this is horrible shitty excuse for parenting.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Oct 10, 2024 9:54:00 GMT -5
Teen's mental health has plummeted these last 3 days in anticipation of this appt. Honestly so has mine, but unfortunately along with seizures teen is back to being self destructive. She challenged me on taking meds and other things last night and I said point blank that I'm not dropping her or standing by to watch the spiral. We are going to keep fighting together and we're leaving Friday to go pick out a college and come hell or high water I'll do my best to see her launch and even then she's part of my family and I expect to be white grandma to some beautiful black babies. This teasing earned me a reminder of she's not having any kids (in large part bc she's done so much childcare already in her young life and knows how hard it is and she's worried about perpetuating dysfunction) and she asked if I would finally figure out how to do black hair if there were grandkids. Is she a senior/almost 18? There is at least that light at the end of the tunnel then. Of course, good luck getting Nut to fill out the financial aid forms.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 10, 2024 9:56:20 GMT -5
Just kidding about being out of the woods. I have to get a biopsy. I'm so sorry. I'm sure they've told you that it's precautionary, they're just trying to make sure, etc. but that doesn't make it any less scary. Well. The odds are in my favor. (Isn't that the quote from Hunger games?) Depending on what you look at, my actual cancer odds are still under 50%. I guess cancer is like a 30ish percent chance with my birad.
I don't feel any lumps, not like the first time. So. All I can do is just keep moving forward and not dwell. Which is easier said than done.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Oct 10, 2024 10:18:38 GMT -5
I'm sorry Gira.
Compartmentalizing and moving on is very much not a strength of mine.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Oct 10, 2024 10:19:00 GMT -5
Just kidding about being out of the woods. I have to get a biopsy. Sorry for the stress this will cause you Hoping all is well
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Oct 10, 2024 10:20:46 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. I'm sure they've told you that it's precautionary, they're just trying to make sure, etc. but that doesn't make it any less scary. Well. The odds are in my favor. (Isn't that the quote from Hunger games?) Depending on what you look at, my actual cancer odds are still under 50%. I guess cancer is like a 30ish percent chance with my birad.
I don't feel any lumps, not like the first time. So. All I can do is just keep moving forward and not dwell. Which is easier said than done.
Hugs, Gira.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Oct 10, 2024 10:21:18 GMT -5
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Oct 10, 2024 10:23:32 GMT -5
Tractor Sorry for losing your dad
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Oct 10, 2024 10:31:27 GMT -5
Sending good thoughts your way, Gira. Hopefully it's nothing!
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Oct 10, 2024 10:45:58 GMT -5
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Oct 10, 2024 11:02:27 GMT -5
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Oct 10, 2024 11:11:38 GMT -5
I am happy to report that my sister is safe with minor damage to her primary home. I have no idea about the beach house on the island.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Oct 10, 2024 11:13:39 GMT -5
I just need to talk about his.
DS 18 was just diagnosed as Level 1 Autistic with ADHD-Inattentive type. He also has depression.
He wasn't doing well at college. We got some services on line for him and he appears to be doing better. I'm not sure where he goes from here. He's very very smart, he just gets very overwhelmed with choices/information overload adn shuts down.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Oct 10, 2024 11:17:49 GMT -5
I just don’t understand how this is not legally actionable against nut as medical neglect. I am furious on your behalf with the whole system. But also enjoyed the vignette about white grandma and black hair Because from a legal standpoint BT can go to the Medicaid dentist. It is being recommended, not required, she go to an Oral Surgeon. Bio nut is fulfilling her bare minimum parenting duties by agreeing she can see Medicaid dentist. That's good enough as far as the government is concerned. This is part of why I roll my eyes at people who claim those on government benefits are living the good life. No they are really not they are often subject to very substandard medical and dental care because of the roadblocks to getting better care and the lack of providers willing to take Medicaid. Bio nut clearly knows the system and is working it to her advantage. Which makes her an incredibly shitty excuse for a parent but it does not rise to medical neglect. It really is shocking to learn how low the bar is considered for parenting by the government. TBF this is also something I somewhat get BT CAN get dental care it's just not the dental care that would be ideal. Meanwhile there are immediate life/death situations kids are in and with social services not having decent funding or enough workers I can disagree but reluctantly understand why fighting to get BT into an oral surgeon outside her regular Medicaid dentist isn't a high priority for them. Bio nut isn't refusing care. She's refusing to take BT to an Oral Surgeon. Which all parents have a right to decide who their kid does and doesn't see medically. Shit you have the right to pray the cancer away if that is your choosing. We on here though tend to and are capable of providing more than just the lowest bar for care when it comes to our kids so for us this is horrible shitty excuse for parenting. Just to clarify, nut initially actually gave me medical proxy for the main medicaid providers and I took teen to the medicaid dentist 4 times on my own without involving nut at all, they tried to pull tooth at the last two visits and it's so bad/rotten/falling apart that they can't pull it without anesthesia which they don't provide. So teen absolutely has to see an oral surgeon which medicaid will cover and even cover anesthesia because of the referral. Last month nut revoked my proxy so now she holds all medical power again. Children's hospital doesn't do dental work so ER visit is out. Meanwhile both ambulance companies that we had to use keep sending bills in teen's name. I fwd'd the first one to nut and got no response. I called ambulance and medicaid will 100% cover bill. All she has to do is fill out the medical info and sign it. I actually got my hands on medicaid info but can't sign it. Waiting for tooth to get fixed and then I'll send form with insurance filled out back to ambulance companies and provide them with nut's name, address and phone number and remind them that teen is underage and can't be responsible for bills. It's like a neverending game of chess but this lady hasn't learned that I'm pretty damn good at chess. Teen was singing the new worship music she learned last night at church on the way to school and the high school choir director there has already texted saying pls, pls, pls bring that angelic voice back every week. I said I'll do my best but you're going to need to be open to her helping fix the total whiteness of our music. Director said deal. Teen also has a standing invite to go play the church drums weekdays when church office is open. I'm thinking that will be great therapy.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 10, 2024 11:48:09 GMT -5
Grieving. We spent last night in the hospital as hospice eased my father's transition into his heavenly home. I know he meant a lot to you. I'm sorry. 🥀
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 10, 2024 12:12:32 GMT -5
I'm sorry Gira. Compartmentalizing and moving on is very much not a strength of mine. It's not of mine, either. And I also have four children I don't want to scare the shit out of unnecessarily. Unfortunately, I can't keep this from them, though. But, I will delay as long as possible.
So. It was determined that I should have this spot looked at by my oncologist and my surgeon. But, they don't know what it is. Even if it were like tiny little cancer cells not in a tumor, they would have been able to diagnose in the MRI. Because they did 3 years ago.
Because it's so small, I get an MRI guided biopsy. I asked why not an ultrasound guided biopsy. Well. because they won't find it with an ultrasound. Which would explain why I don't feel a lump. I'll get the clips.
And then a mammo to check the clips. My boobs are going to unilaterally light up the night sky by the time this is all done. Plus they will have even more titanium in them. It is too bad they weren't perkier. That would have been more fun for all. I already had the I'm going to die freak out. Overall, though. What's the point of worrying about something that may or may not happen. I've got DD1's friends coming over, halloween, etc. and DS moving out. All these very good things i don't want to shit all over because we don't know yet.
I'm more annoyed about this all affecting work moreso than anything else.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 10, 2024 12:13:58 GMT -5
I just need to talk about his. DS 18 was just diagnosed as Level 1 Autistic with ADHD-Inattentive type. He also has depression. He wasn't doing well at college. We got some services on line for him and he appears to be doing better. I'm not sure where he goes from here. He's very very smart, he just gets very overwhelmed with choices/information overload adn shuts down. I won't like it, and you've been heard. It's hard to see our kids struggle.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 10, 2024 12:17:42 GMT -5
I just need to talk about his. DS 18 was just diagnosed as Level 1 Autistic with ADHD-Inattentive type. He also has depression. He wasn't doing well at college. We got some services on line for him and he appears to be doing better. I'm not sure where he goes from here. He's very very smart, he just gets very overwhelmed with choices/information overload adn shuts down. Do they offer tutoring? I didn't know Simpson offered it till someone mentioned it in class. Rather pissed it wasn't well advertised I could have used the help in more than physics. It helped to have someone to break the information down with and have their undivided attention to ask questions
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