weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jun 28, 2023 14:39:35 GMT -5
You remember my BFF who was in a bad car accident and had a traumatic brain injury. She's turned into a completely different person, and it's not a person I like very much. She never calls me anymore, blows off any plans we make and is very self-centered. I finally called her last night, because I knew she wouldn't call me. I asked about her health, her therapy, her daughter and grandchildren, etc. I asked what she's doing for Canada Day. I even asked about her daughter's damn dog. She didn't even say "Weltz, how are YOU doing? You OK?" Nothing. She spent an hour talkig about herself. I don't know how much of it is her TBI, and how much of it is her stupid gigolo boyfriend. I'm sad. It feels like she died in that accident.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 28, 2023 14:43:12 GMT -5
You remember my BFF who was in a bad car accident and had a traumatic brain injury. She's turned into a completely different person, and it's not a person I like very much. She never calls me anymore, blows off any plans we make and is very self-centered. I finally called her last night, because I knew she wouldn't call me. I asked about her health, her therapy, her daughter and grandchildren, etc. I asked what she's doing for Canada Day. I even asked about her daughter's damn dog. She didn't even say "Weltz, how are YOU doing? You OK?" Nothing. She spent an hour talkig about herself. I don't know how much of it is her TBI, and how much of it is her stupid gigolo boyfriend. I'm sad. It feels like she died in that accident. I'm sorry to hear this. You've stuck by her for a long time.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Jun 28, 2023 14:51:11 GMT -5
You remember my BFF who was in a bad car accident and had a traumatic brain injury. She's turned into a completely different person, and it's not a person I like very much. She never calls me anymore, blows off any plans we make and is very self-centered. I finally called her last night, because I knew she wouldn't call me. I asked about her health, her therapy, her daughter and grandchildren, etc. I asked what she's doing for Canada Day. I even asked about her daughter's damn dog. She didn't even say "Weltz, how are YOU doing? You OK?" Nothing. She spent an hour talkig about herself. I don't know how much of it is her TBI, and how much of it is her stupid gigolo boyfriend. I'm sad. It feels like she died in that accident. So sorry, much of that is what happens to people with a TBI in my experience. I only have my DH as reference, but yes parts of them die. The gigolo is not helping for sure, but when when she is talking to you that is the TBI. I am going to cry in the shower now, where no one can see me.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 28, 2023 15:14:05 GMT -5
Why is "Blow it out your ass your have unrealistic expectations" never the right answer? Why is the proper answer the customer/client is always right and you must kill yourself trying to accomodate your every whim. I suppose that is one perk of my dad running his own business. When a customer was abusing one of the twins my dad threw the guy's money back at him and told him get out you don't abuse my employees. I wish corporate America would take that stance but that would be anti-capitalist. You don't generate profits for the shareholders on principal and treating your employees like humans.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 28, 2023 15:54:54 GMT -5
TD had to run across the border this morning, so I took some time to run some errands.
I had my prescriptions sent to the wrong pharmacy. Idiot me, I assumed that Cigna would be using the same pharmacies in 2023 that they did in 2022. Yeah, I know.....now I need to find out where I need to get them from.
I stopped at the yarn shop to see if someone there could help me with my goof up that I did 4" ago. An hour later, and a well spent $35, I'm now on track and I learned something new.
A quick run to the grocery store for an orange for a special purpose. I went to grab a basket as I wanted to pick up an avocado to put on burgers tonight, bananas and a few other things only to discover baskets no longer exist, only little carts. I forgot how to use the self check out after 6 months. Pathetic.
Made another run down the road for local strawberries, my car smelled wonderful on the way home.
Tried to stop at Starbucks for an iced tea. My app doesn't work, because in addition to my facial recognition, they wanted my password. Fuck.....I don't know my password! Isn't that the purpose of facial recognition?
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 28, 2023 16:04:38 GMT -5
Got my blood drawn this morning, did grocery pickup. Put groceries away when I got home.
Had online therapy. Feeling good that someone is finally listening to my concerns about my blood clots. This has been going on since February.
I want a referral to a hematologist. I know if she gives me that, I will not get in to see someone quickly, but it's a start to more answers.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2023 16:09:17 GMT -5
You remember my BFF who was in a bad car accident and had a traumatic brain injury. She's turned into a completely different person, and it's not a person I like very much. She never calls me anymore, blows off any plans we make and is very self-centered. I finally called her last night, because I knew she wouldn't call me. I asked about her health, her therapy, her daughter and grandchildren, etc. I asked what she's doing for Canada Day. I even asked about her daughter's damn dog. She didn't even say "Weltz, how are YOU doing? You OK?" Nothing. She spent an hour talkig about herself. I don't know how much of it is her TBI, and how much of it is her stupid gigolo boyfriend. I'm sad. It feels like she died in that accident. So sorry, much of that is what happens to people with a TBI in my experience. I only have my DH as reference, but yes parts of them die. The gigolo is not helping for sure, but when when she is talking to you that is the TBI. I am going to cry in the shower now, where no one can see me. I'm only using this emoji because we don't have a "wrap my arms around you and cry with you" one
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jun 28, 2023 16:11:04 GMT -5
It is no fun being stuck indoors, due to the smoke from the wildfires, but I'm making strawberry shortcake for dessert tonight to try & lift everyone's spirits. If we can't go outside when the temps are good, we can at least eat some Summer-type food.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jun 28, 2023 16:19:26 GMT -5
You remember my BFF who was in a bad car accident and had a traumatic brain injury. She's turned into a completely different person, and it's not a person I like very much. She never calls me anymore, blows off any plans we make and is very self-centered. I finally called her last night, because I knew she wouldn't call me. I asked about her health, her therapy, her daughter and grandchildren, etc. I asked what she's doing for Canada Day. I even asked about her daughter's damn dog. She didn't even say "Weltz, how are YOU doing? You OK?" Nothing. She spent an hour talkig about herself. I don't know how much of it is her TBI, and how much of it is her stupid gigolo boyfriend. I'm sad. It feels like she died in that accident. So sorry, much of that is what happens to people with a TBI in my experience. I only have my DH as reference, but yes parts of them die. The gigolo is not helping for sure, but when when she is talking to you that is the TBI. I am going to cry in the shower now, where no one can see me. Hugs to both of you
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 28, 2023 17:15:37 GMT -5
So sorry, much of that is what happens to people with a TBI in my experience. I only have my DH as reference, but yes parts of them die. The gigolo is not helping for sure, but when when she is talking to you that is the TBI. I am going to cry in the shower now, where no one can see me. I'm only using this emoji because we don't have a "wrap my arms around you and cry with you" one I "liked" daisylu post, not because I'm happy, she's sad/upset. I also wish I could give her hugs.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 28, 2023 17:36:03 GMT -5
I found out this morning that one of my relatives works for the local aging commission. I reached out to her, and she got the information on my Mom and Mister’s Dad and Aunt to see what services are available for them. And, they have a program where they work with attorneys, to help Mister get POA for his Dad at reduced or no cost because of whatever is going on with his brain. Best of all, she is in a position to try to expedite processes if needed. It’s very timely because Mister’s Aunt hasn’t been home since her last ER visit, they removed her big toe on one foot and she had to go to rehab after the hospital. But she asked Brother to bring her some chocolate cake yesterday. Anyway, she is being released Saturday. She already has a wheelchair at home, but you can barely walk through her house for all the mess and crap all over the floor, let alone navigate a wheelchair. So Mister and Brother are going over there to shovel out all the crap on the floor. Mister had to go meet with somebody at the rehab place today and when he said he was going to shovel all that shit out, Aunt got upset and said don’t throw her stuff away. Mister told her, if you cared about your stuff, it wouldn’t be piled up all over every floor in the house. You put this problem in my lap because you refuse to act right, so if I have to deal with it, this is how I’m going to deal with it. The only other option is for me to stay at home and mind my business. So maybe my relative can help us get her set up with someone coming to her home 2 or 3 times a week to help her. She lives too far for any of us to be going over there several times/week. I wouldn’t do it even if it was more convenient, something had been wrong with her foot and leg for 2 months and her friends and next door neighbors had been trying to get her to go see about it, and she still was doing all the wrong shit regarding her diabetes. So she did this to herself and I don’t have much sympathy. When Mister told the lady at the rehab place that he couldn’t help take care of his Aunt because he works full time, this witch asked “you can’t take off work” as if it’s just that easy, and in a tone that rubbed Mister the wrong way even more. I told him he should’ve said, sure, if you’re going to replace my income for the next 30 years if my job has a problem with me taking a lot of time off work to take care of my Aunt. I’m glad it wasn’t me, and she is too, because there’s no telling what I would’ve said if she’d come at me like that. Mister has a smart mouth too, but he has to be really aggravated, whereas I’m more likely to immediately say something crazy when somebody says something stupid. She didn’t even call him until yesterday, and he had to leave work early today just to go talk to her. And she kind of got a slight attitude yesterday because he told her the original time she wanted him to come today was too early because he had to work today. Wtf is wrong with people?!
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 28, 2023 17:47:46 GMT -5
Went to the grocer, spent $200 and what did I get?? Not a whole lot but par for the course anymore. We did eat breakfast out this morning, it was pretty good, but only because there was hardly anything in here to eat. Still I didn't get all we needed, but it's fine.
Went to see DIL and grandson, she is getting her nails done tomorrow so grandson is going and playing with her kids. He was wanting to come with me, I told him go, he doesn't get a chance to play with other kids very often, so don't miss the chance. Honestly, I'm glad he is, I'm still worn out though I would have gladly taken him. So looks like the next day. We will sleep in tomorrow again.
I don't know about DD, she went in, grandson gave her a big hug. She sat on the couch for awhile and we let her lie down. She, as usual, tells me how tired she is. She finally went in the car to wait and listen to music so we came home. She does not look like she feels well. She needs checked when we get back, I'm wondering if her heart is getting weaker. But we both need to relax a bit. I told hubs we will be lucky to go back and forth for 5 more years. I can see a day neither of us feels like it.
And yes the paint job looks great, as usual, hubs did a great job. But I don't see the garage they said they would paint done. Hubs said the same color paint but its not and she said they would. Dil has been watering the flowers and there are some nice ones out there that are coming up. So the ones here looks pretty but I'm like DI, we need more landscaping around the place but how often will we be here to enjoy it. I just need to remember if we sell it, that will help. It was awfully vanilla, no extra touches to make it pretty. Some things may be going on sale in August for the summer.
Also I told hubs I might run up by myself in October for a week or two, DD said its fine with her.
I think she is asleep now. I started watching a movie, looks pretty good. It's beautiful out today, sun shining, warmed up nicely, I have windows open. I'm just enjoying myself.
May take a shower and fix my hair and just kick back. We have boiled shrimp for dinner, and we both like those.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 28, 2023 17:58:08 GMT -5
I found out this morning that one of my relatives works for the local aging commission. I reached out to her, and she got the information on my Mom and Mister’s Dad and Aunt to see what services are available for them. And, they have a program where they work with attorneys, to help Mister get POA for his Dad at reduced or no cost because of whatever is going on with his brain. Best of all, she is in a position to try to expedite processes if needed. It’s very timely because Mister’s Aunt hasn’t been home since her last ER visit, they removed her big toe on one foot and she had to go to rehab after the hospital. But she asked Brother to bring her some chocolate cake yesterday. Anyway, she is being released Saturday. She already has a wheelchair at home, but you can barely walk through her house for all the mess and crap all over the floor, let alone navigate a wheelchair. So Mister and Brother are going over there to shovel out all the crap on the floor. Mister had to go meet with somebody at the rehab place today and when he said he was going to shovel all that shit out, Aunt got upset and said don’t throw her stuff away. Mister told her, if you cared about your stuff, it wouldn’t be piled up all over every floor in the house. You put this problem in my lap because you refuse to act right, so if I have to deal with it, this is how I’m going to deal with it. The only other option is for me to stay at home and mind my business. So maybe my relative can help us get her set up with someone coming to her home 2 or 3 times a week to help her. She lives too far for any of us to be going over there several times/week. I wouldn’t do it even if it was more convenient, something had been wrong with her foot and leg for 2 months and her friends and next door neighbors had been trying to get her to go see about it, and she still was doing all the wrong shit regarding her diabetes. So she did this to herself and I don’t have much sympathy. When Mister told the lady at the rehab place that he couldn’t help take care of his Aunt because he works full time, this witch asked “you can’t take off work” as if it’s just that easy, and in a tone that rubbed Mister the wrong way even more. I told him he should’ve said, sure, if you’re going to replace my income for the next 30 years if my job has a problem with me taking a lot of time off work to take care of my Aunt. I’m glad it wasn’t me, and she is too, because there’s no telling what I would’ve said if she’d come at me like that. Mister has a smart mouth too, but he has to be really aggravated, whereas I’m more likely to immediately say something crazy when somebody says something stupid. She didn’t even call him until yesterday, and he had to leave work early today just to go talk to her. And she kind of got a slight attitude yesterday because he told her the original time she wanted him to come today was too early because he had to work today. Wtf is wrong with people?! WTF is it's a for profit business. They know Medicare will only pay for a limited time. Aunt likely has no money which means Medicaid which means they get less money. It is in their interest to guilt family into accepting responsibility and taking the patient home. And if that don't work guilt you into paying for it. Plus some of these people seem to be under the assumption you can stop these stubborn ass people from doing what they do. If Mister was a good nephew Aunt wouldn't be living like that or losing toes. Nevermind legal rights and autonomy. Dad and I are the biggest POS in the world according to the resident coordinator. Poor old woman neglected to the point of falling then her family dumps her and rarely visits. If we cared we would have moved her in with us before it all happened. Went through the same thing with GU. I want to say you know if we all did God's work and cared for the elderly where are you going to get $9k a month from smart ass? Mister will need skin of steel to navigate all this and do push back and back HARD. His brother needs to as well. And Mister needs to ensure his dad doesn't get involved because they will try to find anyone they can to release her to and screw if you have the means or anything in place for her care.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 28, 2023 18:02:34 GMT -5
I think the bigger worry I have, esp after reading DQ's post, is to make sure that there's something in place that doesn't allow Dad to agree to take on Aunt's requirements, **and** to make sure that Mister isn't on the hook if someone allows Dad to do so. that's a terrifying thought.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 28, 2023 18:16:11 GMT -5
I'm sitting outside now, relaxing for a little while. pups are both out cold after daycare, but I'm still probably bringing us all downstairs for the overnight. I just did a little bit of networking via LinkedIn, after learning that a long-ago coworker has joined the site I had my visit at yesterday. I need to set aside some time this long weekend, as in, plan for it, leave the phone in the house and crank it out, get the resume overhauled. I had a weird conversation with my boss this am about in-person time vs my checking out. I frankly told him that I haven't been able to get out of my own way with the overhaul, which is why i'm even considering figuring out options for the long commute. that I could head up on pup daycare days, but that means about 4h in the office when I consider the business hours of the daycare and accommodating traffic to make sure I get back before it closes. he says, "whatever you can to do find the balance between checking the box of in-office time vs. what is helpful/makes sense for your teams." and keeps talking...... I actually cut him off and asked if he realized that those circles don't at all cross in my Venn diagram. he chuckled and said he wasn't going there, so I think he knows I'm mostly out the door......if I can help myself get there. in any case, I offered up a 4-5h day on daycare days, with the caveat that my Teams message is going to say that I'm only available by phone during X hours while I'm driving. alright, enough about my first world problems. I'm sorry to keep whining about it. I'm actually still decompressing from yesterday's visit. it's gotta be because that was my office for 3y, but neither of the other sites I've been to have taken this much energy to come back down from. like, I was in a QA meeting with my former site Head of Quality, and while we were waiting for Sharepoint sites to load, we were sharing war stories about past inspections with my current QA contact that now reports to her. do y'all remember when my basement flooded when I lost power in an ice storm, and then the FDA showed up on Monday? that visit... so I guess this site isn't just business when I go. either way, I'm still tired. tonight's not going to be late, and we're probably sleeping downstairs again.
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cooper88
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Post by cooper88 on Jun 28, 2023 18:18:28 GMT -5
That facility has to ensure a safe discharge, and their easy way out is to write down that family will be providing care. I'm glad Mister said no right away.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jun 28, 2023 18:57:06 GMT -5
Still at work. Not pleased. I am going to have to punch out to get Carrot to his 7:30pm scout meeting and come back.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2023 18:57:42 GMT -5
weltschmerz I am so sorry that you have lost your dear friend, not by death, but by her no longer being the person you have known for decades. I admire you for still trying despite the pain
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2023 19:08:22 GMT -5
I found out this morning that one of my relatives works for the local aging commission. I reached out to her, and she got the information on my Mom and Mister’s Dad and Aunt to see what services are available for them. And, they have a program where they work with attorneys, to help Mister get POA for his Dad at reduced or no cost because of whatever is going on with his brain. Best of all, she is in a position to try to expedite processes if needed. It’s very timely because Mister’s Aunt hasn’t been home since her last ER visit, they removed her big toe on one foot and she had to go to rehab after the hospital. But she asked Brother to bring her some chocolate cake yesterday. Anyway, she is being released Saturday. She already has a wheelchair at home, but you can barely walk through her house for all the mess and crap all over the floor, let alone navigate a wheelchair. So Mister and Brother are going over there to shovel out all the crap on the floor. Mister had to go meet with somebody at the rehab place today and when he said he was going to shovel all that shit out, Aunt got upset and said don’t throw her stuff away. Mister told her, if you cared about your stuff, it wouldn’t be piled up all over every floor in the house. You put this problem in my lap because you refuse to act right, so if I have to deal with it, this is how I’m going to deal with it. The only other option is for me to stay at home and mind my business. So maybe my relative can help us get her set up with someone coming to her home 2 or 3 times a week to help her. She lives too far for any of us to be going over there several times/week. I wouldn’t do it even if it was more convenient, something had been wrong with her foot and leg for 2 months and her friends and next door neighbors had been trying to get her to go see about it, and she still was doing all the wrong shit regarding her diabetes. So she did this to herself and I don’t have much sympathy. When Mister told the lady at the rehab place that he couldn’t help take care of his Aunt because he works full time, this witch asked “you can’t take off work” as if it’s just that easy, and in a tone that rubbed Mister the wrong way even more. I told him he should’ve said, sure, if you’re going to replace my income for the next 30 years if my job has a problem with me taking a lot of time off work to take care of my Aunt. I’m glad it wasn’t me, and she is too, because there’s no telling what I would’ve said if she’d come at me like that. Mister has a smart mouth too, but he has to be really aggravated, whereas I’m more likely to immediately say something crazy when somebody says something stupid. She didn’t even call him until yesterday, and he had to leave work early today just to go talk to her. And she kind of got a slight attitude yesterday because he told her the original time she wanted him to come today was too early because he had to work today. Wtf is wrong with people?! I know it's not right to ever wish harm on another person, but damn! Yes, I do hope that witchy woman gets real life up in hers one day so she has to deal with taking off work to care for a family member, wiping their rear, feeding their face, all with no damn sleep because they hear their family member calling all night and screaming crazy stuff. And deal with the boss the next day about their time off.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 28, 2023 19:21:31 GMT -5
I fell asleep and hubs called. I think I missed a bunch of my movie. Looks like traveling makes 2 old ladies tired. It is peaceful and nice here.
There are lots of old retired people around this community, as I see quite a few over 55 communities here.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2023 19:21:41 GMT -5
Went to the grocer, spent $200 and what did I get?? Not a whole lot but par for the course anymore. We did eat breakfast out this morning, it was pretty good, but only because there was hardly anything in here to eat. Still I didn't get all we needed, but it's fine. Went to see DIL and grandson, she is getting her nails done tomorrow so grandson is going and playing with her kids. He was wanting to come with me, I told him go, he doesn't get a chance to play with other kids very often, so don't miss the chance. Honestly, I'm glad he is, I'm still worn out though I would have gladly taken him. So looks like the next day. We will sleep in tomorrow again. I don't know about DD, she went in, grandson gave her a big hug. She sat on the couch for awhile and we let her lie down. She, as usual, tells me how tired she is. She finally went in the car to wait and listen to music so we came home. She does not look like she feels well. She needs checked when we get back, I'm wondering if her heart is getting weaker. But we both need to relax a bit. I told hubs we will be lucky to go back and forth for 5 more years. I can see a day neither of us feels like it. And yes the paint job looks great, as usual, hubs did a great job. But I don't see the garage they said they would paint done. Hubs said the same color paint but its not and she said they would. Dil has been watering the flowers and there are some nice ones out there that are coming up. So the ones here looks pretty but I'm like DI, we need more landscaping around the place but how often will we be here to enjoy it. I just need to remember if we sell it, that will help. It was awfully vanilla, no extra touches to make it pretty. Some things may be going on sale in August for the summer. Also I told hubs I might run up by myself in October for a week or two, DD said its fine with her. I think she is asleep now. I started watching a movie, looks pretty good. It's beautiful out today, sun shining, warmed up nicely, I have windows open. I'm just enjoying myself. May take a shower and fix my hair and just kick back. We have boiled shrimp for dinner, and we both like those. So sorry to hear this. I remember you saying when you visited last Christmas that your daughter was very lethargic, and again when you visited a month or so ago, that she would not even get out of the car when you went shopping in town. You are so fortunate to have your DIL and son to take care of the property while you are gone.
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Jun 28, 2023 19:31:14 GMT -5
All of you. Hugs and friendly smiles. A happy word to lift you. And gratitude for friends here.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 28, 2023 19:33:19 GMT -5
Why I ended up having to quit work way prematurely. Was dealing with mom and DD after major surgery and trying to work. Plus all the other stuff I did with hubs gone. I could not do it. Even after quitting I still had to put mom in assisted living, I just could not care for two people.
I was terrified hubs was going to rope me in on caring for his mom. I did enough as it was, I would have left and lived in a rental or something. There was just no way, but thankfully he did recognize it. Mom didn't have dementia but enough issues I could not deal with it nor could he. But if we hadn't been through that already he might have tried.
I'm so glad all that is over, I don't envy anyone what is coming up for them. And don't worry about them trying to guilt you into anything. Just say no we don't have the money to pay for it, that is what medicaid is for, and no you are unable to care for them period. I didn't give a crap what they tried to guilt me into, I plain and loudly said no more.
Right now I'm wondering about DD's future, there will be a limit on what I can do for her at my age. A lifetime of caregiving burns you out bad.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 28, 2023 19:33:23 GMT -5
What am I doing now? Interview prepping
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Opti
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Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
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Location: New Jersey
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Post by Opti on Jun 28, 2023 19:34:20 GMT -5
Went to the grocer, spent $200 and what did I get?? Not a whole lot but par for the course anymore. We did eat breakfast out this morning, it was pretty good, but only because there was hardly anything in here to eat. Still I didn't get all we needed, but it's fine. Went to see DIL and grandson, she is getting her nails done tomorrow so grandson is going and playing with her kids. He was wanting to come with me, I told him go, he doesn't get a chance to play with other kids very often, so don't miss the chance. Honestly, I'm glad he is, I'm still worn out though I would have gladly taken him. So looks like the next day. We will sleep in tomorrow again. I don't know about DD, she went in, grandson gave her a big hug. She sat on the couch for awhile and we let her lie down. She, as usual, tells me how tired she is. She finally went in the car to wait and listen to music so we came home. She does not look like she feels well. She needs checked when we get back, I'm wondering if her heart is getting weaker. But we both need to relax a bit. I told hubs we will be lucky to go back and forth for 5 more years. I can see a day neither of us feels like it. And yes the paint job looks great, as usual, hubs did a great job. But I don't see the garage they said they would paint done. Hubs said the same color paint but its not and she said they would. Dil has been watering the flowers and there are some nice ones out there that are coming up. So the ones here looks pretty but I'm like DI, we need more landscaping around the place but how often will we be here to enjoy it. I just need to remember if we sell it, that will help. It was awfully vanilla, no extra touches to make it pretty. Some things may be going on sale in August for the summer. Also I told hubs I might run up by myself in October for a week or two, DD said its fine with her. I think she is asleep now. I started watching a movie, looks pretty good. It's beautiful out today, sun shining, warmed up nicely, I have windows open. I'm just enjoying myself. May take a shower and fix my hair and just kick back. We have boiled shrimp for dinner, and we both like those. So sorry to hear this. I remember you saying when you visited last Christmas that your daughter was very lethargic, and again when you visited a month or so ago, that she would not even get out of the car when you went shopping in town. You are so fortunate to have your DIL and son to take care of the property while you are gone. Its a big change for DD's immune system so I'm not surprised she's having issues. Does she have any allergy meds she can take? Does she like things that boost her immune system?
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taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,959
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Post by taz157 on Jun 28, 2023 19:40:47 GMT -5
This week has been crazy at work. On Monday, a long time employee in the sub-department that I’m part of turned in their notice. I’m totally not surprised and figured it would happen especially since her best friend work wise quit last month.
Today, another person in a different sub-department that I’m part of was fired. Honestly, I’m not surprised but the person didn’t take it well. Some of it was the person’s temperament but some of it was others that were part of it when it happened. At the end, a whole location meeting was called because of it. With the person fired today, I’m semi-friends with them. We can butt heads but work through it. I’ve thought of reaching out to them to say I’m sorry and they can use me as a reference. Is that in bad taste, etc.?
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Pink Cashmere
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Joined: Sept 24, 2022 16:18:40 GMT -5
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 28, 2023 19:47:08 GMT -5
I found out this morning that one of my relatives works for the local aging commission. I reached out to her, and she got the information on my Mom and Mister’s Dad and Aunt to see what services are available for them. And, they have a program where they work with attorneys, to help Mister get POA for his Dad at reduced or no cost because of whatever is going on with his brain. Best of all, she is in a position to try to expedite processes if needed. It’s very timely because Mister’s Aunt hasn’t been home since her last ER visit, they removed her big toe on one foot and she had to go to rehab after the hospital. But she asked Brother to bring her some chocolate cake yesterday. Anyway, she is being released Saturday. She already has a wheelchair at home, but you can barely walk through her house for all the mess and crap all over the floor, let alone navigate a wheelchair. So Mister and Brother are going over there to shovel out all the crap on the floor. Mister had to go meet with somebody at the rehab place today and when he said he was going to shovel all that shit out, Aunt got upset and said don’t throw her stuff away. Mister told her, if you cared about your stuff, it wouldn’t be piled up all over every floor in the house. You put this problem in my lap because you refuse to act right, so if I have to deal with it, this is how I’m going to deal with it. The only other option is for me to stay at home and mind my business. So maybe my relative can help us get her set up with someone coming to her home 2 or 3 times a week to help her. She lives too far for any of us to be going over there several times/week. I wouldn’t do it even if it was more convenient, something had been wrong with her foot and leg for 2 months and her friends and next door neighbors had been trying to get her to go see about it, and she still was doing all the wrong shit regarding her diabetes. So she did this to herself and I don’t have much sympathy. When Mister told the lady at the rehab place that he couldn’t help take care of his Aunt because he works full time, this witch asked “you can’t take off work” as if it’s just that easy, and in a tone that rubbed Mister the wrong way even more. I told him he should’ve said, sure, if you’re going to replace my income for the next 30 years if my job has a problem with me taking a lot of time off work to take care of my Aunt. I’m glad it wasn’t me, and she is too, because there’s no telling what I would’ve said if she’d come at me like that. Mister has a smart mouth too, but he has to be really aggravated, whereas I’m more likely to immediately say something crazy when somebody says something stupid. She didn’t even call him until yesterday, and he had to leave work early today just to go talk to her. And she kind of got a slight attitude yesterday because he told her the original time she wanted him to come today was too early because he had to work today. Wtf is wrong with people?! WTF is it's a for profit business. They know Medicare will only pay for a limited time. Aunt likely has no money which means Medicaid which means they get less money. It is in their interest to guilt family into accepting responsibility and taking the patient home. And if that don't work guilt you into paying for it. Plus some of these people seem to be under the assumption you can stop these stubborn ass people from doing what they do. If Mister was a good nephew Aunt wouldn't be living like that or losing toes. Nevermind legal rights and autonomy. Dad and I are the biggest POS in the world according to the resident coordinator. Poor old woman neglected to the point of falling then her family dumps her and rarely visits. If we cared we would have moved her in with us before it all happened. Went through the same thing with GU. I want to say you know if we all did God's work and cared for the elderly where are you going to get $9k a month from smart ass? Mister will need skin of steel to navigate all this and do push back and back HARD. His brother needs to as well. And Mister needs to ensure his dad doesn't get involved because they will try to find anyone they can to release her to and screw if you have the means or anything in place for her care. I believe Mister will do much better with pushing back IRT his Aunt than his parents. He loves her, but the fact that she is “just” his Aunt (I felt some kind of terrible typing that) gives him the space he needs to be more objective. Especially since she very clearly keeps creating her own problems. His Dad doesn’t even really like her, so while he has done small things in the past, like giving her $20 or $30 if she said she needed it, I don’t see him being interested in taking any kind of responsibility for her. They stayed into it while Mom was sick. She had issues with the way he was (wasn’t) taking care of her sister, and he still holds grudges against her from how his wife said Aunt treated her when they were children. Brother doesn’t seem to really like her either. When Mom was sick in the hospital, I don’t remember what caused it, but he vomited what seemed like years of ill feelings on her when she pissed him off. As much of an asshole as Mister can be, even he said Brother needed to apologize to her for the things he said. The house she lives in was her and Mister’s Mom’s house. Last week Mister and I were talking about how she has let the house fall apart, not only is it nasty and junky, it’s in need of some major repairs. She told Mister a few months ago that she would like to do whatever to make the house his upon her death, and mentioned quick deeding it to him now, but was concerned because she gets a break on the property taxes because of her age. I looked the house up on the county assessor website, because I figured the taxes couldn’t be much money, given the size and location of the house. I was right about that, and the taxes are easily affordable if Mister owns the house, but the surprise that really shouldn’t have been a surprise, was that it’s not just Aunt that owns the house, Mister’s Mom owned it too. So now Mister feels added pressure concerning that house, because his Mom owned it too, and he feels like she would’ve wanted it to stay in the family. So now he feels like it’s his responsibility to fix the house, regardless of whether his Aunt lives there or not. Because I’ve been more blunt about what I think after I got pissed off during the aftermath of his and YD’s big blow up, I told him that I understand his Aunt probably prefers to continue living in the house, but part of owning a house and being responsible, means you have to be able to maintain and repair it as needed. The house has been paid off for decades, and if she still can’t afford maintenance and repairs, she can’t afford to live there and needs to move to some senior living somewhere or something. I actually like her and enjoy being around her, even though I understand why family members feel some type of way about her. But I am seriously out of patience and tolerance for “old people” doing stupid and irresponsible shit and expecting family members to bear burdens to shield them from the repercussions and consequences of their actions. Just….NO!
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giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,201
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Post by giramomma on Jun 28, 2023 19:48:53 GMT -5
This week has been crazy at work. On Monday, a long time employee in the sub-department that I’m part of turned in their notice. I’m totally not surprised and figured it would happen especially since her best friend work wise quit last month. Today, another person in a different sub-department that I’m part of was fired. Honestly, I’m not surprised but the person didn’t take it well. Some of it was the person’s temperament but some of it was others that were part of it when it happened. At the end, a whole location meeting was called because of it. With the person fired today, I’m semi-friends with them. We can butt heads but work through it. I’ve thought of reaching out to them to say I’m sorry and they can use me as a reference. Is that in bad taste, etc.? I would reach out. Finding the right references is hard. I am always grateful to the folks who make it easy for me.
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Pink Cashmere
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Joined: Sept 24, 2022 16:18:40 GMT -5
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 28, 2023 19:53:45 GMT -5
That facility has to ensure a safe discharge, and their easy way out is to write down that family will be providing care. I'm glad Mister said no right away. I reminded him several times between yesterday when he told me about the meeting today, and when he called me when he was on his way there this afternoon, do NOT take responsibility of any kind for anything to do with her! If they say she can’t live alone, tell them they need to figure it out and it has nothing to do with him. No matter what they say, say NO, I will not do that, and do NOT sign SHIT. If I’ve learned nothing else over the last several years since dealing with my Mom, I’ve learned that lol.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,190
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 28, 2023 19:54:58 GMT -5
I mixed up some strawberries with sugar,lemon juice, olive oil and fresh Basil.
Man that was good! Now I need more berries.
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