how have you changed during the pandemic?

[Rukh O'Rorke]

I'm still trying to puzzle this out. I am not the same person, but I can't put my finger on it.

Will I snap back? I don't think so. Something fundamental has shifted. 

[chiver78]

likewise, and I also don't know exactly what is different. good question.

[minnesotapaintlady]

I've become lazier.  So that's awesome...not like I needed help in that area!  

[oped]

I'm trying to figure that out. Some of it is covid related. Some is politically related. Some is just being in a transition phase of life. I'm not sure how to separate it all... except to say who I was the fall of 2019 into early 2020 isn't who I am currently... so at least some of it seems to be covid related. Maybe it just helps solidify some things, and throw other things into further question.

[swamp]

I'm fat 

[plugginaway22]

Biggest change for me is now being perfectly content to stay home and not be running around doing what I now realize are unnecessary things. We do miss traveling but can wait for that to return. Also watched my father die of cancer this fall so that puts everything into perspective. He lived a long happy life.

[giramomma]

I put up with less BS. I'm setting the bar higher in some of my interactions with others.  Stupidity in adults (defined as folks with fully formed brains) just pisses me off. I have more empathy for some, less with others.

Like PP, it could be the stage of my life.

[busymom]

I'm enjoying being a hermit.  At least, most of the time.  

[Deleted]

If we ever get to the point where it's safe to enter a public building without wearing a mask, I'm going to feel naked. I will feel uneasy in crowded spaces and with people to close to me and will be reluctant to shake hands. I was never like this- I was raised in a family of 5 kids and my parents never tried to keep us germ-free.

And I think I'll really question the need for in-person meetings. Zoom is no substitute for hugging the ones you love but there doesn't seem to be a good reason for 99% of the church/business/HOA meetings I attend to be face-to-face.

[Blonde Granny]

I don't have a reason on Monday or Wednesday to get up and get dressed to work at the VA. Actually, I have no reason to get up all, so usually don't roll out until 7 - 8 AM. I'm sometimes actually cleaning my own house....or I at least make and attempt to clean it. I have a freezer full of food and shop at the Walmart Neighborhood Market every couple of weeks.

My neighbor frequently pulls me out of the house to go on an adventure otherwise I'd still be in PJs and will watching TV Finally, I seldom spend money.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Dec 11, 2020 15:28:34 GMT -5 busymom said:

I'm enjoying being a hermit.  At least, most of the time.  

I'm enjoying being able to yell upstairs from my work computer (while watching TV at the same time in front of the warm fireplace) "Hey you have a band lesson!" (or piano lesson, or den meeting or speech practice) and not having to get into my van and drive the 15 miles to town in whatever weather, sit and wait for whatever it is to get done, the drive home the 15 miles.  My involvement ends with "Hey you have a band lesson!"

Hence my increased laziness.  

[buystoys]

That's a really good question and I don't have an answer either.  I decided a few days ago to try to become the person I really do want to be.  I'm wearing makeup to make myself feel better about how  I look.  I'm not wearing my sweat pants out to go shopping and run errands.  I'm trying to get out more rather than less.  It's too easy for me to completely hibernate and I struggle to go into public on a good day.  My girlfriend and I went shopping yesterday and then had lunch.  It was good to be away from our normal stomping grounds.  Since we don't work, we can do that more often. 

I've had mental health struggles that I've shared on the depression thread.  I don't know if that's just my normal or if it's a reaction to the times.  I hope it's not my normal.  I have to work on that.

I really struggle to find motivation.  I just hurt so much all the time that it's an effort to do much.  I'm trying to figure out a way to work around that.

[weltschmerz]

how have you changed during the pandemic?

I don't think I have. I'm retired, and most of my friends are retired. We're doing OK.  We don't have to deal with working from home, losing our paychecks, and little kids out of school and daycare.
Socializing, going out to concerts and restaurants...all impossible right now, but this too, shall pass.

[pulmonarymd]

I have lost my faith in humanity

[bean29]

I have gained weight too., but only maybe 5 lbs. Thankful for Zoom Fitness Classes, but I like going to the Gym, and don't so much like virtual classes at 5 am.

I Survived Covid-19 and the first thing I did was rejoin my gym.

I am realizing I am more of an introvert than I thought.  I enjoy getting out and talking to people, but only so much - then I need some down time.  I have always been aware than I am like this, and my DH really likes to socialize and entertain.  I would like holidays to just be our kids and maybe our parents and a few others instead of the usual 30-40 people we end up with.  It also is expensive to entertain.  I told DH yesterday that my DS was asking about getting together for Christmas - he said why is she asking, it's not like she is going to host.  Then he mentioned that we usually spend 800-1000 every time we host.  He may be exaggerating a bit, but I have always figured we spend a minimum of $500 and that usually does not include the liquor he buys.

In some ways I think I am less charitable than before.  My family and I tend to think Donald Trump has a lot of low life followers that really don't have a lot of $$ and need the social service safety net that Republicans would like to rip away.  I want to say you made your bed now lie in it, but I have been seeing a lot of beggars on freeway off ramps and on medians near the shopping mall.  I plan to send $$ to Milwaukee Rescue Mission and Salvation Army so that they can help indigent people this winter.  

DH and I both seem to be less confident about our financial security.  We are being more cautious with our spending.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I am less and less tolerant of stupid shit, petty shit and all the other crap people seem to hurl each other's way.  It's made me reevaluate what I really want out of my life because I am tired of the shit that comes with being a worker bee.  I am in certainly no position to retire at 37 but if things work out I would really like to work "full time" for my dad at the resturant.   I've taken some steps to try to make that happen and spoken to my dad about it.  If I want to do it I have quite the learning curve ahead of me.

I can't lose my faith  in humanity because I lost that the first day I told someone I worked in scientific research. 

[Deleted]

Dec 11, 2020 15:47:05 GMT -5 buystoys said:

I've had mental health struggles that I've shared on the depression thread.  I don't know if that's just my normal or if it's a reaction to the times.  I hope it's not my normal.  I have to work on that.

Our HOA Board President stopped answering e-mails over the summer and finally around September admitted that he'd been having problems with depression (he had in the past but had been managing it well the last few years) and was resigning.  A friend said her doc said that the people who worry her are those who AREN'T having problems coping with the pandemic.  I haven't needed therapy since I divorced my Ex in 1997 and I can tell you that I'm always feeling an undercurrent of fear and anxiety.

So, hopefully it's not your new normal but a reaction to the times.

Dec 11, 2020 16:00:31 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

I have lost my faith in humanity

I can certainly say I've learned a lot more about people I thought I knew- not all of it good- by their attitudes during the pandemic and the election.

[TheOtherMe]

I have found out that my extended family is not who I thought they were.  This is the cousins and 2nd cousins.  They are all in on the conspiracy theories and don't seem to have changed their lives.  I'm guessing none has lost anyone close to them.

I am not who I was before and I don't know who I will be when this is over.

I don't think I will ever trust the way I did before.  

I also don't see the need for a lot of stuff to be done in person.  There is technology that will handle things to people from all over the world can be gathering for one activity.

I knew I was an introvert but I have found that I miss feeling like I have no choice but to stay home.  I have no choice because of the careless activity of others.

[Tiny]

This is the most well rested I have been in decades. Working From Home is nice but I also hate it.

I was very disconcerted by the anger I felt going into the election (november) AND the stress of the last 4 years. I know I'm different because of that. I also think some of my relationships with relatives have changed (and not in a good way). It wasn't so much of a "we disagree about X" but why are we fighting about something trivial or that will soon pass rather than an actual issue that effects US both?"

I didn't really like myself much during that directed/focused anger.

I didn't really eat out or do too many other public things as "entertainment" so I've been OK with being home and messing with some of my hobby stuff. I have noticed it's gotten harder to connect with the people I share "hobby time" with. I wonder if some of my groups will ever get back together again once we are able to do so.

I think it's going to be hard to rebuild all those "acquaintance" informal relationships.

I'm not sure what the future holds.

I do miss going to the theater/opera. At the Opera, I love that 'transition' from the noise of everyday life to being fully focused/transported to somewhere else (into the music and emotion of the opera). It starts when you enter the theater and get to your seat. there's the crowd of people and the excitement in the sounds of all the people. The orchestra starts warming up, and then the first violin plays I think it's "A" and the other strings do the same... and then lights go down, the house gets quiet, the curtain goes up and the magic begins. I really really miss that.

[Lizard Queen]

Dec 11, 2020 16:51:11 GMT -5 Tiny said:

This is the most well rested I have been in decades. Working From Home is nice but I also hate it.

I was very disconcerted by the anger I felt going into the election (november) AND the stress of the last 4 years. I know I'm different because of that. I also think some of my relationships with relatives have changed (and not in a good way). It wasn't so much of a "we disagree about X" but why are we fighting about something trivial or that will soon pass rather than an actual issue that effects US both?"

I didn't really like myself much during that directed/focused anger.

I didn't really eat out or do too many other public things as "entertainment" so I've been OK with being home and messing with some of my hobby stuff. I have noticed it's gotten harder to connect with the people I share "hobby time" with. I wonder if some of my groups will ever get back together again once we are able to do so.

I think it's going to be hard to rebuild all those "acquaintance" informal relationships.

I'm not sure what the future holds.

I do miss going to the theater/opera. At the Opera, I love that 'transition' from the noise of everyday life to being fully focused/transported to somewhere else (into the music and emotion of the opera). It starts when you enter the theater and get to your seat. there's the crowd of people and the excitement in the sounds of all the people. The orchestra starts warming up, and then the first violin plays I think it's "A" and the other strings do the same... and then lights go down, the house gets quiet, the curtain goes up and the magic begins. I really really miss that.

I feel very much like you describe here (except for the opera).



I'm pretty depressed, actually, but not in a down way. I just have little desire to do anything at all. I've found that I really need some feeling of hope in order to have motivation. I don't feel hopeless, per se, but I have nothing to look forward to. I've been going full dose with at John's wart lately, so that might explain my strange combination of feelings.

To answer the question, I'm a little fatter and in worse shape, but I don't think I've permanently changed at all during this pandemic. You know this isolated feeling everyone is getting? That's how I've felt for years while I took care of my mother. I'm not exaggerating. So this is no great shock for me, just great disappointment as I hoped I was all done with that.

[empress of self-improvement]

I became a widow. I think that pretty much covers it for me.

[Tiny]

Dec 11, 2020 16:00:31 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

I have lost my faith in humanity.

That's a sucky feeling. I laughed when I read this. I first lost my "faith in humanity" back in my teenage years. It seems to get restored and then it's gone again.

As I've gotten older - I've found that maybe it's me who needs to "restore faith in humanity" by my actions. It's so confusing. And the anger/bizarreness of the last 5 to 4 years hasn't helped.

If you look around and watch carefully you will find something that will start to rebuild your faith in humanity.

[Tennesseer]

I started yelling at imaginary school children to get off my lawn.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

My sleeping hours have changed.  It used to be I was in bed no later than 11, usually 10.  Normally, up no later than 7:30 am.  These days, we go to bed long after midnight and have been sleeping until 10 or 11.

[Deleted]

I have an entirely different care about where I choose to live out my old age. 

Part of me had thought it would be here in E. OR, but now I think it might be somewhere more liberal. 

I've discovered that many people who claim to care about their small town and community really only care about themselves.

I guess the good thing about the pandemic is I get to enjoy my DS's company for another year and he's decided to go back to college. 

The pandemic also drove me to buy all my necessary gear to spend much of 2021 camping with my dog. I also plan to use that time out to re-lose the 50#s I regained and get my body back into better shape. 

[Tiny]

Dec 11, 2020 17:09:02 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

I'm pretty depressed, actually, but not in a down way. I just have little desire to do anything at all. I've found that I really need some feeling of hope in order to have motivation. I don't feel hopeless, per se, but I have nothing to look forward to. I've been going full dose with at John's wart lately, so that might explain my strange combination of feelings.

I, too, have found myself slipping into "wait" mode. As in having little desire to do anything at all - waiting for something to happen. I'm blue/melancholy more often than usual. It comes and goes.

and this is just commiserating with you on the "not being motivated" feeling. I hear you on that, too.
All the talk about "not having Christmas" and all the "we can't do what we use to do" from friends/relatives just makes me what to slap some of them. So, what... we can do something else! It's like people have forgotten how to entertain themselves when they have some free time. We've got lots of "free time" now. (or time that we aren't using to do the things we use to do.). Our ancestors must have been bored out of their skulls... so many hours/days/years with nothing to do...

I think some of my close friends are finally coming around to the idea of "making our own fun". We're doing some holiday things we've never done before - making gingerbread houses. The local arboretum has a "drive thru tour" year round - but for the holidays they have lights/light show. We're doing that next week (we're taking two cars - so the "family units" can stay together. We will be in contact via phone. I helped a friend figure out how to 'attend mass' at her local parish via their "zoom Mass'. She (and her mom) were missing going every Sunday (they were watching televised Masses on Sundays (not from her local parish). She and her mom are now planning to attend Midnight Mass at their local parish remotely from home.

I've finished up some craft projects (that sat undone for years) and am looking at starting a new one (I might be able to get a friend to start one too...). I tried to get a 'book club' going but no one wanted to play along. I guess it's easier to complain about isolation rather than attempting to connect with other people.

It's hard to make your own fun... but I spent a lot of time alone as a child so I'm really good at keeping myself occupied/entertained. I'm having trouble getting my close friends to 'play along'.

I do think it's an overall feeling of "grief" at the loss of being able to some things (which will most likely return in the future.). It's also hard to step out of one's comfort zone. And to take up or try something new or different.

I get it. But isn't life suppose to be an "adventure"?

[pulmonarymd]

Dec 11, 2020 17:31:41 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Dec 11, 2020 16:00:31 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

I have lost my faith in humanity.

That's a sucky feeling. I laughed when I read this. I first lost my "faith in humanity" back in my teenage years. It seems to get restored and then it's gone again.

As I've gotten older - I've found that maybe it's me who needs to "restore faith in humanity" by my actions. It's so confusing. And the anger/bizarreness of the last 5 to 4 years hasn't helped.

If you look around and watch carefully you will find something that will start to rebuild your faith in humanity.

I am having a BAD day. Had a lawyer threaten to sue me today. WTF.

I feel like I have majorly pissed off someone important. No idea who, but I wish to apologize profusely. I will get on my knees and beg to make it stop.

[Tiny]

Dec 11, 2020 17:42:07 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I started yelling at imaginary school children to get off my lawn.

OMG.  I am having 2 paintings "restored"?  as an adventure and because I had time to work on it and money to do it.   I took the artworks to the Restoration Studio and I had a "OMG I'm old!" realization.  A very nice knowledgeable young man (I'm guessing he was like 18? ok it felt like he was 18 - probably was more like mid 30's but still - a 'child' I'm old!!!!!! )  was inspecting and checking the paintings and answering all my questions and showing me what he would be doing and how and giving me some  idea of what to expect the paintings would look like - once the grime and nicotine were removed....   and I was like "OMG. I"m OLD!!!" 

It all worked out.  I'm getting the paintings 'restored' - they are gonna be AWESOME.  But, "OMG, I"M OLD!!!!" ha ha ha! 

[Opti]

Dec 11, 2020 17:59:57 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

Dec 11, 2020 17:31:41 GMT -5 Tiny said:

That's a sucky feeling. I laughed when I read this. I first lost my "faith in humanity" back in my teenage years. It seems to get restored and then it's gone again.

As I've gotten older - I've found that maybe it's me who needs to "restore faith in humanity" by my actions. It's so confusing. And the anger/bizarreness of the last 5 to 4 years hasn't helped.

If you look around and watch carefully you will find something that will start to rebuild your faith in humanity.

I am having a BAD day. Had a lawyer threaten to sue me today. WTF.

I feel like I have majorly pissed off someone important. No idea who, but I wish to apologize profusely. I will get on my knees and beg to make it stop.

People who are lawyers love to sue and threaten to do so regularly in the SNF or ALF. Threats are threats. I've been where I am working for over a decade. And patients and family members love to threaten me with losing my job. People can be jerks especially the emotional ones who are unable to focus on reality while in the middle of an emotional meltdown. I have two writeups I did not deserve because of people like that. They want a target, and they think you look good. Many times though its just a threat that they think that will motivate you to better service. I am so past that. 

Lawyer patient, lawyer family member or other lawyer animal?

[empress of self-improvement]

Dec 11, 2020 17:59:57 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

Dec 11, 2020 17:31:41 GMT -5 Tiny said:

That's a sucky feeling. I laughed when I read this. I first lost my "faith in humanity" back in my teenage years. It seems to get restored and then it's gone again.

As I've gotten older - I've found that maybe it's me who needs to "restore faith in humanity" by my actions. It's so confusing. And the anger/bizarreness of the last 5 to 4 years hasn't helped.

If you look around and watch carefully you will find something that will start to rebuild your faith in humanity.

I am having a BAD day. Had a lawyer threaten to sue me today. WTF.

I feel like I have majorly pissed off someone important. No idea who, but I wish to apologize profusely. I will get on my knees and beg to make it stop.

I'm sorry.