2020 Declutter Stuff & Organize Your Life

[finnime]

Jan 20, 2020 11:52:43 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Jan 20, 2020 11:49:55 GMT -5 Iggy aka IG said:

TheOtherMe , that sucks.  For lack of a better word, it just sucks.

And, you know what, everyone?  I think we should all have pizza sometime soon in honor of TheOtherMe 's dad.    What say ye??

And a hot fudge sundae.

I will have one!

[NastyWoman]

Jan 20, 2020 13:12:27 GMT -5 finnime said:

Jan 20, 2020 11:52:43 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

And a hot fudge sundae.

I will have one!

Count me in

[mollyanna58]

Me, too!


TheOtherMe, you may want to "snooze" your sister on FB for 30 days, while the pain in still raw.

[Iggy aka IG]

Jan 20, 2020 14:11:31 GMT -5 mollyanna58 said:

Me, too!


TheOtherMe , you may want to "snooze" your sister on FB for 30 days, while the pain in still raw.

[startsmart]

Busy morning thus far - I picked up more air filters for the house HVAC unit so that will be clean before we go on the market and some paint for touching up the fireplace. My desk is stacked up with files that I'm sorting and packing but I hope to have the rest of the office done by mid-week.

Also recorded and uploaded the video I procrastinated on all weekend 

I am working to cut all the loose fabric I have into 3" squares and prep them for my next quilt. The next benchmark is finishing 28 "bags" and it's my goal to do 1-2 bags a day. I might track those because the house stuff is pretty boring right now and I don't want to think about painting all my baseboards and door and window trim right now. 

[laterbloomer]

Jan 20, 2020 8:42:05 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Jan 20, 2020 5:19:25 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I know you probably hurt too much to do so (and beside you are much nicer than I am) but I would write a comment on her FB wondering why she could not be bothered to invite her own sister, to join in remembering your dad on his birthday.  

This is plain cruelty and she needs to be shown up for who she is.

I have spent the night trying to figure out what to say as all of her friends and some of our family are telling her she is a saint.  

I found this to be extremely cruel and unforgiveable.

If you are going to go there, pretend you never saw her post and post about what a difficult day your Dad's birthday was and how you always use to go to that restaurant but it would have been too hard to go alone. Then when someone mentions your sister went say you didn't know that. Be sure not to say anything nasty about her.

[TheOtherMe]

Jan 20, 2020 14:11:31 GMT -5 mollyanna58 said:

Me, too!


TheOtherMe , you may want to "snooze" your sister on FB for 30 days, while the pain in still raw.

I think you are giving me excellent advice.  

I can't bear all the comments telling her she is a saint.

[TheOtherMe]

Jan 20, 2020 14:42:21 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Jan 20, 2020 8:42:05 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I have spent the night trying to figure out what to say as all of her friends and some of our family are telling her she is a saint.  

I found this to be extremely cruel and unforgiveable.

If you are going to go there, pretend you never saw her post and post about what a difficult day your Dad's birthday was and how you always use to go to that restaurant but it would have been too hard to go alone. Then when someone mentions your sister went say you didn't know that. Be sure not to say anything nasty about her.

Too late.  I asked why I wasn't invited and she responded she didn't think I liked that restaurant.   I asked a question but her answer was totally unsatisfactory.

I am going to share my Instagram post from yesterday where I did talk about my missing dad.  

[snapdragon]

I got a few things done over the weekend - 

Changed the bedding. 

Folded and put away multiple loads of laundry.

Picked up my kitchen faucet from Kohler. 

Found several clothing items to donate along with a few pieces of work labeled clothing that I returned this morning.

Vacuumed several areas of the house. 

[nikiz628]

TheOtherMe- Just when I think your sister can't hit a new low, she goes and surprises me. I am so sorry she did that to you.

[TheOtherMe]

Jan 20, 2020 15:55:51 GMT -5 nikiz628 said:

TheOtherMe - Just when I think your sister can't hit a new low, she goes and surprises me. I am so sorry she did that to you.

Thank you.

This was the lowest thing she has done as far as I am concerned.  This hurt me deeply, more so than anything else she she has done.  

I did snooze her for 30 days because all of her friends think she walks on water and is the kindest, most thoughtful person in the world.

I am not a saint and certainly have not done everything right in this journey with dad, but I would never had pulled something like this and then post on FB, where she knew I would see.  

I am glad that I have an appointment with my therapist on Wednesday and I'm so happy I have Lucy, who loves me unconditionally.  

[paynointerest]

Today I wrote 3 recommendation letters and submitted them.  Slowly but surely I'm getting that part of my work clutter gone!

[startsmart]

TheO- When it comes to your sister none of us know her beyond what you’ve shared. But it seems to me, from your interactions with her these last few months, that she cares very much about her reputation to others. She shares on social media to get attention, wants all the photos to be of her family with your dad, and is very focused on playing a certain role. It’s frustrating to you that other people buy it, that’s not their fault, they only see what she shows in public. You, however, see a lot more. How she fought you on your dad’s care and meals and money, how she hasn’t done her job as executor and her propensity to skip difficult conversations and use her kids as go between.

From what you shared about your dad’s birthday, you were rightfully upset that she behaved in a way to get sympathy from others And didn’t think at all about you, her family. Maybe she didn’t think of you and how you felt because it doesn’t seem like she thinks of anyone but herself. That’s not on you. I totally understand being hurt by her actions but there will also be a point (maybe after settling the estate) where you decide not to let her selfish actions impact you.

That’s just my thoughts on what might be going on. I agree that you should mute her in social media and protect your grief at this time. i hope you don’t mind my perspective here, take it with a grain of salt.

My family didn’t even get to hold funeral or celebration of life for my grandma, who died a year ago this Thursday, because one family member is such an unmitigated ass that the others refuse to be in a room with her. We didn’t get that closure and yes it still sucks when friends of the family assume the best about someone who acts the worst.

[CCL]

Jan 19, 2020 20:38:33 GMT -5 nidena said:

Jan 19, 2020 17:03:24 GMT -5 nikiz628 said:

What area are you looking at in Indy? I lived downtown for a little while. I have a friend who lives in Greenwood right now and loves it. Another lives in the Fishers/Carmel area and loves it too (although that area is pricier). 

Aiming for 2 bd/2ba, under 1200 sq ft, under $175,000 and within walking distance (no more than a mile) of a library and a grocery store and a short pedal from a good place to bicycle (doesn't have to be the Monon but that would be awesome if it was).

Are you familiar with Indianapolis? What side of town? Do you still work? Some areas have a lot of traffic during morning and evening commutes. Personally, I would look outside of 465. Some of the northern suburban areas have made the "best places to live" lists: Fishers, Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville.

[busymom]

Hang in there TheOtherMe!  



We loaded up a box of things that DH is taking over to the largest antique dealer in the area, and we're hoping they'll be interested in most of it, even if we don't get top price.  We just plain need more stuff out of here.  (But obviously, it'd be nice to get something out of the deal...)  

[debthaven]

I picked up our new towels on the way home from work today. I'm happy with them.

Doing laundry now.

Tuesdays are long days this semester. Still much better than first semester last year when I cried on my way home every Tuesday.

busymom are you still looking for a job?

nikiz628 I saw your post on the Controlled Spending thread. I read but don't post there, so I didn't feel comfortable posting this there, but I had an idea about your "taco Tuesdays" ... you could always alternate houses and go out once a month. That would mean you each host dinner once/month instead of once/every three weeks. And it would be fun to go out together sometimes. Just a thought.

finnime how is your DD doing?

[nidena]

Jan 21, 2020 8:11:16 GMT -5 CCL said:

Jan 19, 2020 20:38:33 GMT -5 nidena said:

Aiming for 2 bd/2ba, under 1200 sq ft, under $175,000 and within walking distance (no more than a mile) of a library and a grocery store and a short pedal from a good place to bicycle (doesn't have to be the Monon but that would be awesome if it was).

Are you familiar with Indianapolis? What side of town? Do you still work? Some areas have a lot of traffic during morning and evening commutes. Personally, I would look outside of 465. Some of the northern suburban areas have made the "best places to live" lists: Fishers, Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville.

I'm game to looking anywhere in the Indy area so long as those criteria are met for sure.  I just tend to say Indy because most people outside of Indiana have no idea about Fishers, Carmel, etc.

[nikiz628]

Jan 21, 2020 14:33:09 GMT -5 nidena said:

Jan 21, 2020 8:11:16 GMT -5 CCL said:

Are you familiar with Indianapolis? What side of town? Do you still work? Some areas have a lot of traffic during morning and evening commutes. Personally, I would look outside of 465. Some of the northern suburban areas have made the "best places to live" lists: Fishers, Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville.

I'm game to looking anywhere in the Indy area so long as those criteria are met for sure.  I just tend to say Indy because most people outside of Indiana have no idea about Fishers, Carmel, etc.

Carmel- the city of endless round-a-bouts.   We traveled there a lot when DS1 broke his femur. Riley North in Carmel is a spectacular facility. I just hate those damn round-a-bouts. But it is so gorgeous there. 

[nikiz628]

Jan 21, 2020 13:35:59 GMT -5 debthaven said:

I picked up our new towels on the way home from work today. I'm happy with them.

Doing laundry now.

Tuesdays are long days this semester. Still much better than first semester last year when I cried on my way home every Tuesday.

busymom are you still looking for a job?

nikiz628 I saw your post on the Controlled Spending thread. I read but don't post there, so I didn't feel comfortable posting this there, but I had an idea about your "taco Tuesdays" ... you could always alternate houses and go out once a month. That would mean you each host dinner once/month instead of once/every three weeks. And it would be fun to go out together sometimes. Just a thought.

finnime how is your DD doing?

I like that suggestion too! It really doesn't matter where we go, we just enjoy each other's company. All of our kids are best friends, so they enjoy the friend time as well. We aren't doing anything today because of busy schedules, but I will pitch that idea for sure. 

[finnime]

Jan 21, 2020 13:35:59 GMT -5 debthaven said:

I picked up our new towels on the way home from work today. I'm happy with them.

Doing laundry now.

Tuesdays are long days this semester. Still much better than first semester last year when I cried on my way home every Tuesday.

busymom are you still looking for a job?

nikiz628 I saw your post on the Controlled Spending thread. I read but don't post there, so I didn't feel comfortable posting this there, but I had an idea about your "taco Tuesdays" ... you could always alternate houses and go out once a month. That would mean you each host dinner once/month instead of once/every three weeks. And it would be fun to go out together sometimes. Just a thought.

finnime how is your DD doing?

Good for you, getting new towels. I got some at Costco a couple of weeks ago that I need to put out. I'm slow to do it, because then they'll be used!

DD is doing better, thank you. She broke down on the last day in the hospital when the surgeon told her she could have lost part of her intestine if she had waited much longer. When they did the CT scan to diagnose her they found she also has only one functioning kidney. She had kidney infections in the past, so this is probably due to that, but it's hard news to take. She's still having some surgical pain, but much better now than when she was symptomatic. I do worry about her.

[nidena]

Jan 21, 2020 15:39:17 GMT -5 nikiz628 said:

Jan 21, 2020 14:33:09 GMT -5 nidena said:

I'm game to looking anywhere in the Indy area so long as those criteria are met for sure.  I just tend to say Indy because most people outside of Indiana have no idea about Fishers, Carmel, etc.

Carmel- the city of endless round-a-bouts.   We traveled their a lot when DS1 broke his femur. Riley North in Carmel is a spectacular facility. I just hate those damn round-a-bouts. But it is so gorgeous there. 

Last I saw, they're up to 110 of them.

[nikiz628]

Jan 21, 2020 16:26:03 GMT -5 nidena said:

Jan 21, 2020 15:39:17 GMT -5 nikiz628 said:

Carmel- the city of endless round-a-bouts.   We traveled their a lot when DS1 broke his femur. Riley North in Carmel is a spectacular facility. I just hate those damn round-a-bouts. But it is so gorgeous there. 

Last I saw, they're up to 110 of them.

Oh that's all? lol

[finnime]

Had the handyman here today and he did several projects. One he couldn't do was replace the kitchen overhead light, because the wiring is very old and the prior owner of this house had covered some spots where the insulation had crumbled off with electrician's tape, which is a very poor substitute for properly doing the job.

So I had an electrician come out, who has estimated $300 to replace the wiring going through that circuit. That'll be this month's house budget neatly swept up between the handyman and the electrician. He's going to have to cut a hole in the ceiling to replace the wiring. Then I'll have to have the hole filled (it's plaster, not drywall.) Probably another $200 or so. But this is averting disaster--the wiring could have caught fire where the bare wires crossed. Lucky to have found the problem.

[debthaven]

Hugs to both of you Finnime.

I'm slow to do it, because then they'll be used!

Same here LOL. Drives me crazy that the old "good" towels split with regular use but the old "crap" towels seem to last forever LOL. I'd be VERY happy to donate them but DH is "sentimental because I gave them to him".

[TheOtherMe]

Until mom and dad moved to the apartment here, they didn't have a dishwasher.  Part of visiting them was drying dishes.  

Mom would get out these towels that were rags for us to dry dishes.  Took several towels when we had a group of people because the towels were full of holes and the material was so thin.

Guess what was in the tote my sister returned?  Unused dish towels.  Now I have a supply of unused dish towels.  I wonder where she kept them hidden when we were drying dishes.

debthaven  your DH is sentimental about crap towels?

[debthaven]

Yup TheO!!!

Obviously they weren't crap when I gave them to him 30 years ago, but they are now. 

I'm not joking when I talk about DH's hoarding tendancies. It really is a constant battle.

I am learning though. I very rarely give DH any tangible gifts anymore.

[TheOtherMe]

[busymom]

Good news:  the antique dealer bought the entire box.     We didn't get a huge amount of money, but I'm happy with what we got, AND that more items are out of the house.



Yes, debthaven, I'm still job hunting.  In fact, I just had another interview this week, but this community acts much like a small town, and I'm not a local, so it's been a long & painful process.  (I'm sure the fact that I'm "over 40" isn't doing me any favors either.  Plus, when I took time out of the workforce to make sure Mom was taken care of probably hasn't helped either, but, no regrets.)

[CCL]

Jan 21, 2020 16:30:13 GMT -5 nikiz628 said:

Jan 21, 2020 16:26:03 GMT -5 nidena said:

Last I saw, they're up to 110 of them.

Oh that's all? lol

LOL. I read somewhere that they have more round-a-bouts than anywhere else in the country.

[nidena]

Jan 21, 2020 18:30:16 GMT -5 CCL said:

Jan 21, 2020 16:30:13 GMT -5 nikiz628 said:

Oh that's all? lol

LOL. I read somewhere that they have more round-a-bouts than anywhere else in the country.

Whoops!  It's more than 125 roundabouts.  carmel.in.gov/department-services/engineering/roundabouts