Battling Depression

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Mar 13, 2023 14:04:45 GMT -5 swamp said:

Mar 13, 2023 13:57:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Hmm. . .there seems to be an untapped market. 

There is, because other than the lack of sunlight, living in a cave with my dog sounds fabulous. 

SAD lights for everyone upon entry.

[busymom]

Mar 13, 2023 13:57:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Mar 13, 2023 13:56:32 GMT -5 busymom said:

If you DO move into a cave, NomoreDramaQ1015 , you'd better find one in a "cave complex", because I too have days where I just want to go, maybe take the dogs, and have time to myself.  I get SO tired of "cleaning out the barn" for everyone else.

Hmm. . .there seems to be an untapped market. 

      Either a cave, or houses equipped with "escape pods" for the women who are sick of it all.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

No because kids and husbands can knock on the escape hatch door.  Too much like trying to hide in the bathroom.

Need caves. .. high up on a cliff that makes it hard for them to climb up.

[finnime]

Love the high up caves! Yes!! I'd take my dog with me, too.

[busymom]

I want a hidden cave underneath my house like Ezma has her secret lab in "The Emperor's New Groove".  Pull the lever Kronk!  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

But we need to make sure there is no alligator lever and all our poisons are clearly labeled.

[busymom]

True story:  DD, who has the same strange sense of humor that I do, bought me a t-shirt that shows Ezma after she accidentally got turned into a cat..  

[Pink Cashmere]

I guess maybe the Zoloft is starting to do it’s thing, because while I do remember waking up several times last night, I went right back to sleep instead of staying awake and tossing and turning for hours.

If it doesn’t do much besides help me get some sleep, that will still be a win as far as I’m concerned. I am still taking it, and will report back to my PCP in a few more weeks, to discuss how it’s working or not for me.

[CCL]

That's good to hear, Pink. I know you've said lack of sleep has been a big issue for you. 

[finnime]

Mar 13, 2023 22:24:34 GMT -5 CCL said:

That's good to hear, Pink. I know you've said lack of sleep has been a big issue for you. 

Sleep disturbances are a very common symptom of depression. Sleeping way too much or too little or with frequent wakenings are typical.

I wish I lived a life where I didn't know that.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Mar 13, 2023 20:38:32 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I guess maybe the Zoloft is starting to do it’s thing, because while I do remember waking up several times last night, I went right back to sleep instead of staying awake and tossing and turning for hours.

If it doesn’t do much besides help me get some sleep, that will still be a win as far as I’m concerned. I am still taking it, and will report back to my PCP in a few more weeks, to discuss how it’s working or not for me.

That's good and better sleep will help improve your mood as well.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Managed to give myself an existential crisis last night.  I was going through old photos including some of my grandmothers and my great grandmother.  I got to thinking about my MIL and everything I read about her in her senior yearbook.

The pictures I am looking at tell a totally different story than the women as I remember them.   WTF did the 1950s do to women?  Is that what marriage does to women?

Then I got to thinking about my mom and how different she was than I remember.

Is that what getting old does to people?  Am I going to start to become unrecognizable to my kids?   Are my grandkids going to look at photos of me and insist there is no way that is the same person?

Then I found things that they wrote to my parents when they were younger.   I found a poem my grandmother wrote to my mother.  I was so moved I'm actually going to take it to the two parlors I frequent to see if any of them can match handwriting so I can turn it into a tattoo.

I made my dad cry, but in a good way, because I found a letter my great grandmother wrote to him when he graduated HS.  They had bad blood between then before she passed because she said a lot of terrible things to him.  He knows it was partly because she was sick and all the medications they loaded her up with.  He won't tell me what she said but he said even though he knew what was going on it was things you can't really walk back.  So to find that letter and read it helped give him some closure that he was lacking, she didn't really feel that way about him.

So then I started freaking out because I want to make sure there is something like that left behind for the girls from me.  I have a poem I wrote for Gwen about when she went horse back riding and fell off.  It's called "The Ballad of Gwendolyn Gene the Rodeo Queen".   I need to craft something for Abby.

I saw my first picture of my great grandfather (my dad's grandfather).  I never met him he died shortly after I was born.  My dad said he never introduced me my grandmother insisted that great grandpa not be allowed to meet me.  He was very abusive towards my grandmother, we don't know all the details she has never really talked about it.   My dad respected her wishes but it always bothered him.

Then I have other pictures of people I have no clue who they are and would have loved to get some backstory but everyone I could get it from is dead.  My great aunt could maybe tell me but she's getting dementia plus I am pissed at her.  I found pictures of my mom with her cousins and that one cousin did come to the wake so I am considering giving them to her but IDK.  Still mad at most of them.

Wish I could have met my great aunt Del.  She was an extremely flamboyant artistic dramatic person, I feel like that is probably who I got my personality from.  It sounds like we had a lot in common and she would have been a hoot to hang out with.  She also died not long after I was born.  She is responsible for all the paintings in my basement.

I read the note she left my mom in an autograph book from when they went to California and I started bawling.

DH suggested maybe it was time for me to put it all away for a bit.  I agreed.

[busymom]

Grieving is a process.  Sometimes you have days that you feel ok, and other days all of your emotions come tumbling out of you.  Just allow it to happen however it happens.


For me personally, it probably hits the hardest when I'm visiting the cemetery, but then, I'm one of those strange people who talks to the deceased when I'm at their gravesite.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Mar 15, 2023 10:25:48 GMT -5 busymom said:

Grieving is a process.  Sometimes you have days that you feel ok, and other days all of your emotions come tumbling out of you.  Just allow it to happen however it happens.


For me personally, it probably hits the hardest when I'm visiting the cemetery, but then, I'm one of those strange people who talks to the deceased when I'm at their gravesite.  

Yeah but I didn't expect to start grieving for people I never even met or not knowing people when they were younger.   That was a new one. 

[swamp]

Mar 15, 2023 10:36:08 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Mar 15, 2023 10:25:48 GMT -5 busymom said:

Grieving is a process.  Sometimes you have days that you feel ok, and other days all of your emotions come tumbling out of you.  Just allow it to happen however it happens.


For me personally, it probably hits the hardest when I'm visiting the cemetery, but then, I'm one of those strange people who talks to the deceased when I'm at their gravesite.  

Yeah but I didn't expect to start grieving for people I never even met or not knowing people when they were younger.   That was a new one. 

When my grandmother died, when my mom and my aunt were going through the house, they found items that belonged to their baby brother who died from the flu at about 18 months.    I found myself grieving him at the time.   That was weird.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Yeah I have a picture that says "Uncle Ray in clown costume".

WHO is Uncle Ray?  WHY is he in a clown suit?  WHAT are all the other people doing in the photo?

WHY am I mourning a dude I never met and being pissed off that I have no clue why he's in a very awesome old clown costume?   Was it a party?  Was he in a thespian troupe like I was?  DETAILS!

If I can get a decent printer I want to turn that one in particular into a cameo.

[swamp]

Mar 15, 2023 12:41:42 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Yeah I have a picture that says "Uncle Ray in clown costume".

WHO is Uncle Ray?  WHY is he in a clown suit?  WHAT are all the other people doing in the photo?

WHY am I mourning a dude I never met and being pissed off that I have no clue why he's in a very awesome old clown costume?   Was it a party?  Was he in a thespian troupe like I was?  DETAILS!

If I can get a decent printer I want to turn that one in particular into a cameo.

Is it bad that this made me laugh?  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Mar 15, 2023 13:26:45 GMT -5 swamp said:

Mar 15, 2023 12:41:42 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Yeah I have a picture that says "Uncle Ray in clown costume".

WHO is Uncle Ray?  WHY is he in a clown suit?  WHAT are all the other people doing in the photo?

WHY am I mourning a dude I never met and being pissed off that I have no clue why he's in a very awesome old clown costume?   Was it a party?  Was he in a thespian troupe like I was?  DETAILS!

If I can get a decent printer I want to turn that one in particular into a cameo.

Is it bad that this made me laugh?  

No because I found it funny too.

There is another one that has an uncle that looks EXACTLY like Hitler.  I want to know why he thought that mustache was a good idea and also slightly tempted to start my own conspiracy theory.

[toomuchreality]

Mar 15, 2023 13:59:22 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Mar 15, 2023 13:26:45 GMT -5 swamp said:

Is it bad that this made me laugh?  

No because I found it funny too.

There is another one that has an uncle that looks EXACTLY like Hitler.  I want to know why he thought that mustache was a good idea and also slightly tempted to start my own conspiracy theory.

Hugs, drama ♡

[TheOtherMe]

I talk to my loved ones at cemeteries, including generations back who I never met.

I grieve all of my ancestors.  As I uncover their stories, I realize just how difficult their lives were.  I come from a long line of very poor people who had very difficult lives.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Here is the photo

[finnime]

[snip]

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Is there a way to get her to grant you Financial power of attorney.  While my grandma does have the right to her money as her POA if I think she is not acting out of her best interest, such as being scammed, I can stop payment.  Not sure how well that works with entities like Paypal fortunately my grandmother is not tech savvy but it might be worth looking into.

[CCL]

Or even if you just had access to her accounts, you could have noticed what was going on and stopped it after the first incident.

I don't know, though, my boys probably wouldn't be interested in me monitoring their accounts.

Has she been managing things ok in the past?

[wvugurl26]

I'm sorry finnime. My uncle was scammed by some guy promising to sell his timeshares to the tune of $100k. A good friend of mine is a US Marshal and offered to find the scammer. And then I saw all the accompanying international service fees to go along with the PayPal transfers on my uncle's bank statement.

While unfortunate maybe it would work better if you handled the bills and left a small amount of money for spending in a separate account. I would also file a police report. I've heard most of these scammers are international but there's a chance they aren't. It's worth checking into.

After my uncle robbed grandma of $50k, he was removed from all accounts and I replaced him. I checked the app daily to monitor spending especially since he insisted she get a debit card. The debit card has been in my wallet since she came home from the hospital and will stay there until I close the account.

[azucena]

Oh gosh, Fin. I'm so sorry that happened to your DD.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Paypal might have recourse you'd have to look into it.  I know if you do things like Zelle you are screwed but Paypal may have some limited fraud protection.  I would file a claim and see what comes of it.

[finnime]

THank you all. I will have her file a police report and a complaint with Paypal.

As far as her allowing me to manage her money, that may come in time. Of course now she has none to manage! But if she could get at least some back, that would help big time. I'm not going to just give her money but I will do things like pay her rent for a little while. And try to think of what next. She is on the waiting list for low-income housing but that will probably take years.

I think I should find some material with guidance on scams, scammers and identifying them. Or she'll definitely get caught again, out whatever money she comes by.

[finnime]

She has sent money before to people she didn't actually know IRL. I had thought she learned from that. She is lonely and therefore vulnerable.

She can manage most things wihtout a problem: bills, food, laundry, her 3 cats, her medical appointments. She would not willingly give me POA but might be willing in a limited way to monitor her account.

I wouldn't know about what she'd done except that she called me in a panic because her electric bill was going to overdraw her account once it got processed. I am relieved that she knew it would. 

[TheOtherMe]

I am so sorry finnime