I'm pathatic. I admit it. I went stress shopping yesterday

[973beachbum]

So yesterday were the mother of all stressful days for me.  I get a call from DD yesterday in a panic and all I got out of it was she was in a car accident.  So I ask if everyone is okay.  She says yes but she doesn't know what to do.  I tell her to hang up with me and call the police then call me back. 

She does and explains the other driver ran a stop sign and T-boned her car going 50.  Now she is talking to me at the time and I can tell from her voice that she is okay but that didn't do good things for my blood pressure!

Then we get her dad over there as he was at her place.  So she is talking and almost screeches in the phone.  The woman who had refused to speak to anyone, even to answer the simple are you okay question, pulls a tiny baby out of the back seat.  I swear my heart almost exploded.  The cop seemed to have about the same reaction.  He screamed furiously at her and got an ambulance over there and told her they were going to examine the baby.  I guess he hadn't looked in the back seat either.  Seriously who doesn't check on their baby in the back seat after T-boning another car at 50?!?!?!?

So the paramedics check the baby and let it go back to mom and don't take it in the ambulance so our guess is it is okay but man that was scary.  So the cop finally gets over to DD to ask about the accident and to ask her version.  But before he could ask he saw the look on her face as seeing the baby come out of the back seat and instead of asking questions he starts reassuring her that the whole thing isn't her fault and she doesn't have anything to worry about.  To which my DD screamed that she wasn't worried about herself she couldn't believe someone would drive like a freaking maniac with a little baby in their car.

So after she is back home and a million calls to Geico later I try to run some errands that really needed to get done.  As I am finishing I wander into a dept store.  Even as I am doing it I think stress shopping isn't exactly a good thing to do but I decide to let myself do it anyway.

So what do I buy after all that and a good hour wandering around a big dept store?  A bath mat.

[engineerdoe]

I hope it was at least one of those squishy memory foam ones.
Glad your daughter and that baby are ok.

[Anne_in_VA]

I'm so sorry your DD went through that.  That's really scary!  I just can't believe that mom driving so fast with a baby in the car.  Did she say why?

Anyway, hope your DD is OK.

[Jaguar]

<< HUGS >> 973beachbum

[973beachbum]

Jan 11, 2017 17:49:31 GMT -5 Anne_in_VA said:

I'm so sorry your DD went through that.  That's really scary!  I just can't believe that mom driving so fast with a baby in the car.  Did she say why?

Anyway, hope your DD is OK.

The other driver didn't say a word to anyone at the seen except the person she was talking to on the phone after it happened.  Not even the police seemed to get her to say anything.  She responded to things like let me see your DL and registration and insurance by giving it to them but didn't actually say anything.  DD said if she hadn't been talking on the phone she would have thought the woman was mute.

Everyone is fine so as car accidents go I guess this is a good one.  Both cars are totaled.  She had geico also so hopefully it will be a quick financial resolution but even if it isn't at least we are in a place right now where we could weather it either way.

Bath mats make me very philosophical.

[973beachbum]

Jan 11, 2017 17:48:07 GMT -5 engineerdoe said:

I hope it was at least one of those squishy memory foam ones.
Glad your daughter and that baby are ok.

No it is more of the rug version.  I actually like them better for some reason.  It does have a backing that makes it stick to the floor though.  That and I liked the pattern.

It was also eye opening getting one for the first time in like 12 years.  Who knew they had gotten so expensive??  we are going to step on it and drip all over it not hang it on the wall.

[Opti]

Jan 11, 2017 17:56:22 GMT -5 973beachbum said:

Jan 11, 2017 17:49:31 GMT -5 Anne_in_VA said:

I'm so sorry your DD went through that.  That's really scary!  I just can't believe that mom driving so fast with a baby in the car.  Did she say why?

Anyway, hope your DD is OK.

The other driver didn't say a word to anyone at the seen except the person she was talking to on the phone after it happened.  Not even the police seemed to get her to say anything.  She responded to things like let me see your DL and registration and insurance by giving it to them but didn't actually say anything.  DD said if she hadn't been talking on the phone she would have thought the woman was mute.

Everyone is fine so as car accidents go I guess this is a good one.  Both cars are totaled.  She had geico also so hopefully it will be a quick financial resolution but even if it isn't at least we are in a place right now where we could weather it either way.

Bath mats make me very philosophical.

Does DD suspect the woman was on her phone while driving?

[zibazinski]

She sounds like she was on drugs or drunk. I hope she was tested.

[tskeeter]

Jan 11, 2017 17:56:22 GMT -5 973beachbum said:

Jan 11, 2017 17:49:31 GMT -5 Anne_in_VA said:

I'm so sorry your DD went through that.  That's really scary!  I just can't believe that mom driving so fast with a baby in the car.  Did she say why?

Anyway, hope your DD is OK.

The other driver didn't say a word to anyone at the seen except the person she was talking to on the phone after it happened.  Not even the police seemed to get her to say anything.  She responded to things like let me see your DL and registration and insurance by giving it to them but didn't actually say anything.  DD said if she hadn't been talking on the phone she would have thought the woman was mute.

Everyone is fine so as car accidents go I guess this is a good one.  Both cars are totaled.  She had geico also so hopefully it will be a quick financial resolution but even if it isn't at least we are in a place right now where we could weather it either way.

Bath mats make me very philosophical.

If you don't say anything, you can't say anything that will be used against you later.  Pretty simple.  

If involved in an accident when I am not at fault, I minimize what I say so that an innocent offhand comment does make me a defendant in a personal injury suit.  

If I thought I might be held at fault, or might be considered as contributing to an accident, I'd say even less.  Responding only to direct questions from a law enforcement official.

[Happy prose]

Jan 11, 2017 18:33:36 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

She sounds like she was on drugs or drunk. I hope she was tested.

This is what I thought also.

[milee]

Jan 11, 2017 18:49:19 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Jan 11, 2017 17:56:22 GMT -5 973beachbum said:

The other driver didn't say a word to anyone at the seen except the person she was talking to on the phone after it happened.  Not even the police seemed to get her to say anything.  She responded to things like let me see your DL and registration and insurance by giving it to them but didn't actually say anything.  DD said if she hadn't been talking on the phone she would have thought the woman was mute.

Everyone is fine so as car accidents go I guess this is a good one.  Both cars are totaled.  She had geico also so hopefully it will be a quick financial resolution but even if it isn't at least we are in a place right now where we could weather it either way.

Bath mats make me very philosophical.

If you don't say anything, you can't say anything that will be used against you later.  Pretty simple.  

If involved in an accident when I am not at fault, I minimize what I say so that an innocent offhand comment does make me a defendant in a personal injury suit.  

If I thought I might be held at fault, or might be considered as contributing to an accident, I'd say even less.  Responding only to direct questions from a law enforcement official.

This.  Plus, when I'm dealing with hysterical people I find it unhelpful to engage.  Talking doesn't help, so it's best to do your thing and keep your mouth shut.  

[giramomma]

Even as I am doing it I think stress shopping isn't exactly a good thing to do but I decide to let myself do it anyway.

It's better than stress eating.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this...

[Cookies Galore]

I'm so glad your daughter is okay! I'd be a proud mama that she seemed more concerned about the baby than herself in that moment.

You need to learn how to stress shop.

[mamasita99]

Jan 11, 2017 19:32:23 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Even as I am doing it I think stress shopping isn't exactly a good thing to do but I decide to let myself do it anyway.

It's better than stress eating.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this...

 Hey now, don't get any ideas! I've already called stress eating in this corner!  

Very scary situation for your DD, glad she is physically unharmed, cars can be replaced.

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Is it cocktail time yet?

[naughtybear]

I'm not going to bloody say anything either. Talking can only get you in trouble.

[obelisk]

Jan 11, 2017 17:43:42 GMT -5 973beachbum said:

So yesterday were the mother of all stressful days for me.  I get a call from DD yesterday in a panic and all I got out of it was she was in a car accident.  So I ask if everyone is okay.  She says yes but she doesn't know what to do.  I tell her to hang up with me and call the police then call me back. 

She does and explains the other driver ran a stop sign and T-boned her car going 50.  Now she is talking to me at the time and I can tell from her voice that she is okay but that didn't do good things for my blood pressure!

Then we get her dad over there as he was at her place.  So she is talking and almost screeches in the phone.  The woman who had refused to speak to anyone, even to answer the simple are you okay question, pulls a tiny baby out of the back seat.  I swear my heart almost exploded.  The cop seemed to have about the same reaction.  He screamed furiously at her and got an ambulance over there and told her they were going to examine the baby.  I guess he hadn't looked in the back seat either.  Seriously who doesn't check on their baby in the back seat after T-boning another car at 50?!?!?!?

So the paramedics check the baby and let it go back to mom and don't take it in the ambulance so our guess is it is okay but man that was scary.  So the cop finally gets over to DD to ask about the accident and to ask her version.  But before he could ask he saw the look on her face as seeing the baby come out of the back seat and instead of asking questions he starts reassuring her that the whole thing isn't her fault and she doesn't have anything to worry about.  To which my DD screamed that she wasn't worried about herself she couldn't believe someone would drive like a freaking maniac with a little baby in their car.

So after she is back home and a million calls to Geico later I try to run some errands that really needed to get done.  As I am finishing I wander into a dept store.  Even as I am doing it I think stress shopping isn't exactly a good thing to do but I decide to let myself do it anyway.

So what do I buy after all that and a good hour wandering around a big dept store?  A bath mat.

The party at fault is well versed in vehicle accidents.

[naughtybear]

Why would you say that? I wouldn't say anything because I am well versed in CYA, at the most I would probably say I am cynical and untrusting. Haven't even received a speeding ticket, nor seen the inside of a police car.

[suesinfl]

I'm glad that everyone is ok, but tomorrow they all will be sore. I did laugh at what you bought with the stress shopping....sorry.

[MarleyKeezy78]

Glad everyone is ok   That lady needs a swift kick in the ass... twatwaffle   I think buying the bath mat means you need a long hot shower and a glass of wine 

[debthaven]

I'm glad everyone is OK! Sorry for the scare (for your DD and for you too!)

[MJ2.0]

Jan 11, 2017 21:27:24 GMT -5 suesinfl said:

I'm glad that everyone is ok, but tomorrow they all will be sore. I did laugh at what you bought with the stress shopping....sorry.

me too! I thought it was gonna be something expensive!


But holy shnikees, that lady needs to have her license revoked. I get that things happen and we have all been in accidents, but how can you be that careless? ESPECIALLY with a baby in the back?!?!

[wvugurl26]

Jan 12, 2017 11:40:19 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Jan 11, 2017 21:27:24 GMT -5 suesinfl said:

I'm glad that everyone is ok, but tomorrow they all will be sore. I did laugh at what you bought with the stress shopping....sorry.

me too! I thought it was gonna be something expensive!


But holy shnikees, that lady needs to have her license revoked. I get that things happen and we have all been in accidents, but how can you be that careless? ESPECIALLY with a baby in the back?!?!

That I don't get. Any time I've driven with babies/small children, I've been very cautious.

[Deleted]

Maybe that is why I have no stress. I like to shop - mostly online.

[movingforward]

I have been in accidents where I was to blame. I didn't have a problem with asking people in the other car if they were okay or telling the police officer the TRUTH about what happened. Am I the only one who just fesses up when at fault .  I mean, it is what it is...the story will come out one way or the other. 

I am glad your daughter is okay. I would have been soaking in a hot bath sucking down a milkshake!

[milee]

Jan 12, 2017 17:09:51 GMT -5 movingforward said:

I have been in accidents where I was to blame. I didn't have a problem with asking people in the other car if they were okay or telling the police officer the TRUTH about what happened. Am I the only one who just fesses up when at fault .  

No, sometimes people fess up and are nice.  A few months ago a woman hit me and she immediately apologized and was very kind about the whole thing.  

But it's just as likely that the other person will be an angry nut job.  Years ago a man rear ended me when I was stopped at a light - clearly his fault.  But he was ranting and raving and threatening me to the point that witnesses stuck around to make sure he wasn't going to hurt me.

You really don't know what you'll encounter and you don't know what will be misunderstood/misconstrued, so generally it's best to just be quiet.  Look at all the assumptions people are making in this thread.  We're supportive of OP because that's the person we "know", but if you look closely at what was actually posted, this isn't a clear cut case.  OPs daughter doesn't sound like she'd threaten or hurt the other driver, but she doesn't sound calm and rational, either, just based on what her mom is describing here.  Based on the word of one young driver who was so hysterical she couldn't even think clearly enough to call 911 or describe to her mom what had happened, half the posters are ready to tar and feather the other driver.  Do you know how difficult it is to estimate the speed of another vehicle?  Even police aren't very accurate at that, yet we are ready to believe the other driver was going "50 mph" when the accident happened based on what?  The other driver surely didn't say she was going 50, so it's based on unreliable estimates.  We have no idea if the other driver had already checked on her baby and knew it was OK, yet the "shriek" of the young driver who just realized there was a baby in the other car is enough to convince us something was wrong and the mom's negligent?  Heck the young driver is so worked up she can't even talk calmly to the police - instead "screamed that she... couldn't believe someone would drive like a freaking maniac with a little baby in their car."  In other words, this doesn't sound like a very reliable witness, but based on that one hysterical person people are ready to believe the other driver is a maniac?  

Maybe the other driver was at fault, driving like a maniac, trying to kill her baby and a jerk to boot.  Or... maybe there are some other things going on here.  Based on how OP described her daughter acting, the other driver was smart to not engage - it wouldn't have helped.  That doesn't mean the other driver was a nut or even an evil person - there are many innocuous reasons these things happen and even if one of them had been the case, the other driver had nothing to gain by talking to a hysterical person about what happened.

[movingforward]

Jan 12, 2017 17:29:39 GMT -5 milee said:

Jan 12, 2017 17:09:51 GMT -5 movingforward said:

I have been in accidents where I was to blame. I didn't have a problem with asking people in the other car if they were okay or telling the police officer the TRUTH about what happened. Am I the only one who just fesses up when at fault .  

No, sometimes people fess up and are nice.  A few months ago a woman hit me and she immediately apologized and was very kind about the whole thing.  

But it's just as likely that the other person will be an angry nut job.  Years ago a man rear ended me when I was stopped at a light - clearly his fault.  But he was ranting and raving and threatening me to the point that witnesses stuck around to make sure he wasn't going to hurt me.

You really don't know what you'll encounter and you don't know what will be misunderstood/misconstrued, so generally it's best to just be quiet.  Look at all the assumptions people are making in this thread.  We're supportive of OP because that's the person we "know", but if you look closely at what was actually posted, this isn't a clear cut case.  OPs daughter doesn't sound like she'd threaten or hurt the other driver, but she doesn't sound calm and rational, either, just based on what her mom is describing here.  Based on the word of one young driver who was so hysterical she couldn't even think clearly enough to call 911 or describe to her mom what had happened, half the posters are ready to tar and feather the other driver.  Do you know how difficult it is to estimate the speed of another vehicle?  Even police aren't very accurate at that, yet we are ready to believe the other driver was going "50 mph" when the accident happened based on what?  The other driver surely didn't say she was going 50, so it's based on unreliable estimates.  We have no idea if the other driver had already checked on her baby and knew it was OK, yet the "shriek" of the young driver who just realized there was a baby in the other car is enough to convince us something was wrong and the mom's negligent?  Heck the young driver is so worked up she can't even talk calmly to the police - instead "screamed that she... couldn't believe someone would drive like a freaking maniac with a little baby in their car."  In other words, this doesn't sound like a very reliable witness, but based on that one hysterical person people are ready to believe the other driver is a maniac?  

Maybe the other driver was at fault, driving like a maniac, trying to kill her baby and a jerk to boot.  Or... maybe there are some other things going on here.  Based on how OP described her daughter acting, the other driver was smart to not engage - it wouldn't have helped.  That doesn't mean the other driver was a nut or even an evil person - there are many innocuous reasons these things happen and even if one of them had been the case, the other driver had nothing to gain by talking to a hysterical person about what happened.

All excellent points. I am just one of those people that tends to admit when they are at fault (maybe too easily). About 10 yrs ago I was involved in a minor accident in a Target parking lot. I had zero damage to my car and she had a small dent. She barely spoke any English so I am not sure if she understood much of what I said. The accident was clearly my fault. I was leaving for the Caribbean the next day. I was out running last minute errands and my mind was highly distracted thinking about all the things I needed to do before leaving. At any rate, I asked if she was okay. She said yes and seemed absolutely fine.  She was out walking around looking at the damage to her car. I called the insurance company that afternoon, told them what happened and that I was leaving for vacation the next day. I came back and found out she was suing for injuries.  Seriously, injuries from a minor bump up in a parking lot . Oh, well...

[973beachbum]

The police report stated that the other driver was 100% at fault so not just me or DD and I don't know how you can turn around running a red light into maybe it wasn't her fault.  How can you run a red light and not know it is your fault?

And the only thing ever asked of the other driver was "are you all right?"  I have no clue how that gets twisted around into my DD was a hysterical maniac at the scene.

Was not calling the police first the brightest thing, no, but it doesn't even come close to saying she was hysterical.

And she wasn't the only one who got mad about the baby being brought out twenty minutes later.  I could hear the cop screaming through the phone.  The fact that an adult in the front seat is fine doesn't automatically mean a little baby is also going to be.   I just can't believe that having the baby checked out wouldn't be the first thing on any adult's mind.  Especially over making sure you don't say something incriminating. 

Seriously I can't imagine this needs to be said but when you are in an accident the first thing everyone needs to do is make sure everyone else is okay and doesn't need an ambulance.  Worrying about anything else to the point where you don't do that literally meanss you suck as a human being IMO.

[milee]

You're assuming the mother didn't check on the baby.  There's no reason to assume the mother "sucks as a human being", or that she didn't check on the baby.  Even the paramedics who checked the baby decided the baby was fine.  No way to know the mother didn't check on the baby while your daughter was having her freak out and calling you.

Your daughter was upset - that's understandable.  It's frightening to be suddenly hit while you're just driving along.  Here is how you described her:

-She's "in a panic", not even talking coherently and all you can understand is she was in a car accident... doesn't know what to do and hasn't called 911.  
-She describes the other driver as running a stop sign (although later the story changes to a red light) and the other driver was "going 50".
-She "screeches in the phone" that she just realized the other car has a baby in it.  
-She's so upset the officer can't even question her, but has to first assure her this whole thing isn't her fault, to which she screams she couldn't believe "someone would drive like a freaking maniac with a little baby in their car."

These are (although understandable, especially for a teenager) reactions that don't imply rational thought or reaction is happening.  She is filled with adrenalin and struggling to process everything.  It's by no means your daughter's fault that this woman hit her, but given your daughter's reaction, it's not completely reasonable to assume the other woman was a maniac or sucks as a human being since she avoids engaging with your daughter.  It's possible (and reasonable) that she had already determined the baby was OK and was just trying to keep quiet and get this over with as quickly as possible.  If the other driver is not a dramatic type, she probably was just trying to avoid being hit by all the emotional shrapnel your daughter was throwing off.  

[MJ2.0]

I can imagine it would be extremely difficult to be as calm and apparently collected as the other driver was.... Unless you're some kind of cyborg or you've been through this enough times to know the drill.