zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 7, 2017 15:34:00 GMT -5
Her mind seems to not be functioning.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2017 16:35:16 GMT -5
Or his permission? I don't believe it She doesn't need my permission to buy a washer. I would be thrilled if she had saved the money to go out and buy a washer herself. It means she would have actually taken the initiative and saved up for something. Well, I guess it says something that she won't just whip out a credit card to cover it.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Jan 8, 2017 1:47:16 GMT -5
She doesn't need my permission to buy a washer. I would be thrilled if she had saved the money to go out and buy a washer herself. It means she would have actually taken the initiative and saved up for something. Well, I guess it says something that she won't just whip out a credit card to cover it. I think it says more if someone needs to finance a $500 purchase.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 8, 2017 8:01:58 GMT -5
It does indeed. She's not thinking clearly and hasn't for a very long time. Unfortunately it seems to be a common trait.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Jan 9, 2017 21:19:22 GMT -5
Well, I guess it says something that she won't just whip out a credit card to cover it. I think it says more if someone needs to finance a $500 purchase. Well, sure. I get that you would like for her to handle her finances differently. (I understand that quite well, believe me! ) Is she waiting for you to come to her rescue? Is that what is going on?
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jan 9, 2017 21:37:32 GMT -5
Well that's the Phil script. Take their 0% money and keep yours invested. It's probably the only thing keeping Best Buy afloat.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 9, 2017 22:06:12 GMT -5
I think it says more if someone needs to finance a $500 purchase. Well, sure. I get that you would like for her to handle her finances differently. (I understand that quite well, believe me! ) Is she waiting for you to come to her rescue? Is that what is going on? Lord I hope not. Sad.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2017 22:08:12 GMT -5
Well, I guess it says something that she won't just whip out a credit card to cover it. I think it says more if someone needs to finance a $500 purchase. Whether they need to or are just taking advantage of the 0% offers nearly every appliance store offers, a large percentage of the population would finance a washer.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Jan 9, 2017 22:57:10 GMT -5
DH just bought me a $1K dryer. I'm confused as to whether this means he's a sucker or I'm a gold digger. Pls help.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 9, 2017 23:05:04 GMT -5
DH just bought me a $1K dryer. I'm confused as to whether this means he's a sucker or I'm a gold digger. Pls help. Good question. We need the Phil script intervention, I think!!!
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jan 9, 2017 23:34:24 GMT -5
DH just bought me a $1K dryer. I'm confused as to whether this means he's a sucker or I'm a gold digger. Pls help. Good question. We need the Phil script intervention, I think!!! $1,000 for a dryer?!? Does it come with someone to do your laundry for you?
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lund
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Post by lund on Jan 10, 2017 4:42:12 GMT -5
Sigh.... The new washer is working well. It is twice as large as its predecessor, very silent (I have to look at it to see that it washes), and we got a 25% sales discount.
The old washer was over 25 years old, had been used a lot, the lid had to be tied open with a piece of string, the safety lock did not always engage so the lid had to be closed several times in order for it to lock and the machine to start, the knobs were getting wobbly, and it was loud. But the bearings died, making it even louder, and we did not dare to spin the laundry during the last weeks waiting for the yearly sale. Then it started to sound... unbearable (think stone-crusher). Fortunately, we had enough clean laundry to wait out the sale without having to visit family to do laundry. (Laundromats are almost unknown here; there are some on the tourist camping sites which now are closed for winter). We had money put away for a replacement, since the machine was on overtime, and due to the sales, we were under budget. So all should be fine, and Mount Washmore is shrinking rapidly. But I still feel some slightly stinging pain in the bank account....
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lund
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Post by lund on Jan 10, 2017 4:56:09 GMT -5
MarleyKeezy78, Hang in there! The fact that you had savings helped you avoid adding debt instead! And the fact that it cost $200 and you could pay it and still have most of your savings left is a very good shift IMO! Please take it as a sign that you are on the right track building savings. Annoying, rather commonplace, expenses turn up, but being able to cover them without scrambling is good!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2017 8:19:40 GMT -5
Think of it as I have $700 left!!!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2017 9:38:19 GMT -5
Also, like other posters have said, a huge pat on the back for having an EF that not only allowed you to pay in full the bill and not have to stress about where the money would come from or go into debt over it, but that you knew enough to take an EF seriously so you had one. Congrats!!🎈🎉🎊🍾
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Jan 15, 2017 21:50:18 GMT -5
Good question. We need the Phil script intervention, I think!!! $1,000 for a dryer?!? Does it come with someone to do your laundry for you? No, but hopefully it'll last a good long while without making so much noise that DS3 asks "Mommy turn the birds off please" every time I use it...As a bonus, it also dries things on one round rather than requiring 4 restarts Of course I suppose you could argue that since DH bought it, it does indeed come with a laundress, me
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Jan 15, 2017 22:46:17 GMT -5
DH just bought me a $1K dryer. I'm confused as to whether this means he's a sucker or I'm a gold digger. Pls help. Neither. My general rule was to figure out what the wife wanted, and then buy one step up from that. I didn't pay $1000 either. I'm guessing it was more around $500, but that was 15-20 years ago....
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 16, 2017 0:59:46 GMT -5
It costs $1.00 - $1.75 for a washing load around here.
It seems like the point beer is trying to make always gets a bit lost or ignored. BGF always has money for wants. If she'd gone ahead and set aside $900 like Marley did, then she'd have the $250 to split the washer with him. She'd be in a good position like Marley is to fix the furnace. That's all he's asking of her--have a bit of an EF. I get the point he's trying to make. What I don't get is how there was $5k laying around for a bathroom remodel that he was happy to hand out but $250 for a washer, oh hell no! And $1k on gifts for her and the kids for Christmas. He strikes me as someone that sends really mixed messages. Why wouldn't his girlfriend ask for $250 when she knows he handed out $5k for her bathroom and spent $1k on Christmas? $250 is chump change compared to that. If he wants to send a message about saving $5k should not have been spent renovating the bathroom. $1k should not have been spent on Christmas presents. Don't blow $6k then expect a spender to have an epiphany over $250 for a washing machine. But that $6k was his to spend however he chose. He is now choosing to only pay half for the washer because she wants a higher end model than he wants. They aren't married nor do they have shared finances (and if he is smart they will never have shared finances). I don't understand why anyone would think he should have to buy the washer.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 16, 2017 1:05:25 GMT -5
Why should he have to teach a grown woman a lesson though? He's not her father. Hell, he's not even her husband.
I agree but that wasn't the point. Beer is always posting about wanting his girlfriend to understand how important it is to save and that he won't buy X because he wants her to understand the value of money. Nobody is going to understand the value of $250 when $6k was just spent on wants in a month. If there is $6k to spare why are we fretting over $250 for a new washer? You want to make a stand and take the moral high ground do it with the $5k bathroom remodel. Otherwise shut up and accept you are just as much a spender as she is, the only difference is what you choose to spend the money on. I think the difference is that beer actually had the money to spend. Last summer I was lecturing my daughter in not blowing her money. During the summer I spent $50k on several things (car, backyard, two vacations, etc). But I actually had the $50k to spend but she was literally down to 5 cents in her bank accountant. The fact that I can piss away a pretty substantial sum (most of it was needed in my eyes. It I'm sure they were technically wants) doesn't negate my message. i can afford to blow that kind of money, she can't
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 16, 2017 8:10:14 GMT -5
I am not convinced they didn't split the Reno cost. Reread it, he said his gf complains she has no savings because something always comes up, the last time was the bathroom and gifts. He said $6k was spent, not that he spent $6k. But maybe I missed a post where he explicitly stated it, but to me it was definitely implied that she has no savings because she shared that expense along with the ones that come up every month.
i can argue that few things are a need, but for two well compensated earners, I would be hard pressed not to consider a working washer a priority. I hope you caved and helped replace it.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 16, 2017 8:44:41 GMT -5
I am not convinced they didn't split the Reno cost. Reread it, he said his gf complains she has no savings because something always comes up, the last time was the bathroom and gifts. He said $6k was spent, not that he spent $6k. But maybe I missed a post where he explicitly stated it, but to me it was definitely implied that she has no savings because she shared that expense along with the ones that come up every month. i can argue that few things are a need, but for two well compensated earners, I would be hard pressed not to consider a working washer a priority. I hope you caved and helped replace it. But even if he did only pay half or any other amount, that doesn't mean that he needs to jump and pay for the washer. I don't understand how someone that makes decent money and has someone to share expenses with, can't come up with $250 to buy a washer. I would be very frustrated by this and would not want to ever co-mingle my money with that person. And if I saw her continue to blow her money versus saving for something that was needed, it would piss me off even more.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 16, 2017 8:54:39 GMT -5
Because he doesn't pay rent and their deal is he contributes to these types of expenses. i suspect it is her way of getting something out of him. It just sucks that it has to be a dispute every time. Sounds way more stressful then paying a set amount every month.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 16, 2017 8:57:48 GMT -5
Because he doesn't pay rent and their deal is he contributes to these types of expenses. i suspect it is her way of getting something out of him. It just sucks that it has to be a dispute every time. Sounds way more stressful then paying a set amount every month. I admit that I don't know their backstory on this (or didn't pay attention to it).
I find that set up bizarre and one that will lead to many disagreements. It is her house so she should be the one to make the repairs to it. He has mentioned her having other men living there before him so I wouldn't be confident that I would ever see a benefit from putting money into her house. Having said that, a grown man should not be living rent free anywhere. The only way to stop these arguments is to have him pay a fair rent and then let her deal with the repairs. What they are doing now doesn't seem to be working.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2017 9:00:12 GMT -5
I am not convinced they didn't split the Reno cost. Reread it, he said his gf complains she has no savings because something always comes up, the last time was the bathroom and gifts. He said $6k was spent, not that he spent $6k. But maybe I missed a post where he explicitly stated it, but to me it was definitely implied that she has no savings because she shared that expense along with the ones that come up every month. i can argue that few things are a need, but for two well compensated earners, I would be hard pressed not to consider a working washer a priority. I hope you caved and helped replace it. I took this line as meaning he spent that amount of money himself, but it might just have been written poorly.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 16, 2017 9:03:16 GMT -5
I am not convinced they didn't split the Reno cost. Reread it, he said his gf complains she has no savings because something always comes up, the last time was the bathroom and gifts. He said $6k was spent, not that he spent $6k. But maybe I missed a post where he explicitly stated it, but to me it was definitely implied that she has no savings because she shared that expense along with the ones that come up every month. i can argue that few things are a need, but for two well compensated earners, I would be hard pressed not to consider a working washer a priority. I hope you caved and helped replace it. I took this line as meaning he spent that amount of money himself, but it might just have been written poorly. that's the way I took it, too.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 16, 2017 9:03:43 GMT -5
Because he doesn't pay rent and their deal is he contributes to these types of expenses. i suspect it is her way of getting something out of him. It just sucks that it has to be a dispute every time. Sounds way more stressful then paying a set amount every month. I admit that I don't know their backstory on this (or didn't pay attention to it).
I find that set up bizarre and one that will lead to many disagreements. It is her house so she should be the one to make the repairs to it. He has mentioned her having other men living there before him so I wouldn't be confident that I would ever see a benefit from putting money into her house. Having said that, a grown man should not be living rent free anywhere. The only way to stop these arguments is to have him pay a fair rent and then let her deal with the repairs. What they are doing now doesn't seem to be working.
Ha there have probably been a thousand post over the past 3 years suggesting the very same thing. They carry on, so I guess this works for them. It is hard not to raise an eyebrow though
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 16, 2017 9:08:01 GMT -5
On the positive side of things, you haven't given in and given up. GF tells me all the time that the reason she has no discretionary savings is because something always comes up every time she gets ahead and takes all her savings. We did a complete renovation of the master bathroom, new bathtub, new tile, new flooring. Everyone says it is beautiful. It was mostly completed right before Christmas, just in time for everyone to admire it because we hosted Christmas this year. Renovation cost a little over $5k. Gifts for the three kids and GF ran just over $1k.So, of course the washing machine that we had spent $250 over the course of a month to The first paragraph implies she doesn't have the savings because she paid too
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 16, 2017 9:11:16 GMT -5
I admit that I don't know their backstory on this (or didn't pay attention to it).
I find that set up bizarre and one that will lead to many disagreements. It is her house so she should be the one to make the repairs to it. He has mentioned her having other men living there before him so I wouldn't be confident that I would ever see a benefit from putting money into her house. Having said that, a grown man should not be living rent free anywhere. The only way to stop these arguments is to have him pay a fair rent and then let her deal with the repairs. What they are doing now doesn't seem to be working.
Ha there have probably been a thousand post over the past 3 years suggesting the very same thing. They carry on, so I guess this works for them. It is hard not to raise an eyebrow though lol! Maybe they just like to argue?!?! I can honestly see where this type of arrangement would lead to resentment on both sides. I live in a LCOLA area so these amounts are probably low, but rent on a decent house goes for $1000-$1200 a month. Cut that in half and that's what he should be paying on an annual basis, plus his share of utilities and food. Anything less than that, she is being taken advantage of. If he is shelling out more than that annually, I can understand him feeling taken advantage of.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Jan 16, 2017 10:48:10 GMT -5
Nobody disputes that it's beer's money to spend or not as he sees fit. Most of us just think the interactions in his relationship, as he describes them, sound super unhealthy and excessively frustrating. DH is that rarest of individuals; well-balanced, mature, patient, diligent and all that cr@p. He did in fact go for a higher-end dryer than I suggested because he thought the electronic readout and settings would be useful (I think this added $100-200 to the bill; we went with a made-in-America old-fashioned non-high-efficiency dryer that is supposed to just work well and not break, which are qualities important to both of us). However, after this past week of him burning the midnight oil at both ends for work and leaving everything house, meal and kid-related up to me, I'm thinking I should've held out for a $2k dryer.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Jan 16, 2017 13:32:44 GMT -5
Nobody disputes that it's beer's money to spend or not as he sees fit. Most of us just think the interactions in his relationship, as he describes them, sound super unhealthy and excessively frustrating. DH is that rarest of individuals; well-balanced, mature, patient, diligent and all that cr@p. He did in fact go for a higher-end dryer than I suggested because he thought the electronic readout and settings would be useful (I think this added $100-200 to the bill; we went with a made-in-America old-fashioned non-high-efficiency dryer that is supposed to just work well and not break, which are qualities important to both of us). However, after this past week of him burning the midnight oil at both ends for work and leaving everything house, meal and kid-related up to me, I'm thinking I should've held out for a $2k dryer. We're not THAT rare! Oh yeah, I guess we are. Never mind.
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