cronewitch
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I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
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Post by cronewitch on Nov 23, 2016 15:15:15 GMT -5
The last time I hosted Christmas I call "The Last Supper". I invited ISO's mom, stepdad and their son so 5 people. I served what I consider traditional, his mom insisted we have canned yams and fruit salad. ISO agreed with his mom so they were in the kitchen making that while I was making dinner. Then nobody would even taste the dishes I made like sweet potatoes and green bean casserole, entire dishes that only had me eat any of them. All my work and money cooking and they couldn't even pretend to appreciate it, I was just done. His mom and stepdad are gone now and haven't seen the boy in 15 years. The boy never was someone we liked. He was the son of a daughter his mom had with her second husband but they adopted him so not sure what he was, half nephew, half brother, quarter brother?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2016 15:31:10 GMT -5
I really don't care about holidays anymore, if I want to visit family I do it, no holiday required. DW is out of town the next few days for thanksgiving to visit a friend and I volunteered to work Friday.
I don't drink much anymore but I am day drinking with a couple of friends at the bar today. Happy thanksgiving!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2016 16:07:08 GMT -5
I chose not to work the next two days. It was an extremely difficult decision.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2016 20:50:13 GMT -5
Well, I got my holiday spirit back today! DH said he had never seen me so happy. I decorated the table just for us. I cooked all the things we liked just for us. I served it at a time only we would like. Everything turned out perfectly, and we enjoyed every bite. The puppy dog put her head down on the mat by the cabinet and waited patiently and quietly for me to share. I truly love my family. I saw my son's family last Sunday, and I'm seeing my daughter's family this Sunday. Both times will have been at their houses. I know with that many kids it is difficult for them. It is equally difficult for me to clean, cook, and then care for nine kids by myself because their parents thought it was their time to relax. It became impossible. Today was the most relaxing "Thanksgiving" that I've had in years. I do want to try something for Christmas . . . I'm thinking desserts only. But if that doesn't work, I'm fine with not hosting. My grandkids see their cousins every week so that part is not a big deal. Happy Holidays, all!
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 23, 2016 21:15:01 GMT -5
Well, I got my holiday spirit back today! DH said he had never seen me so happy. I decorated the table just for us. I cooked all the things we liked just for us. I served it at a time only we would like. Everything turned out perfectly, and we enjoyed every bite. The puppy dog put her head down on the mat by the cabinet and waited patiently and quietly for me to share. I truly love my family. I saw my son's family last Sunday, and I'm seeing my daughter's family this Sunday. Both times will have been at their houses. I know with that many kids it is difficult for them. It is equally difficult for me to clean, cook, and then care for nine kids by myself because their parents thought it was their time to relax. It became impossible. Today was the most relaxing "Thanksgiving" that I've had in years. I do want to try something for Christmas . . . I'm thinking desserts only. But if that doesn't work, I'm fine with not hosting. My grandkids see their cousins every week so that part is not a big deal. Happy Holidays, all! I'm so happy for you! That's how we do ours and have for the past 12? years now. DH has never loved holidays more until we decided to not allow other's to dictate what we do or where we do it. Even if we have plans on Thanksgiving day I still do our own thing at our own pace on another day. Plus he/we loves my cooking and loves having leftovers. But we still get together with some family members or friends too but only if we feel like it. Which is rarely these days. I do remember back when I worked how stressful it was though. Mom decided it was my job once I got married. She said she did it while we were kids and since I'm the girl in the family I should do it now. Except she didn't work. I did. Many, many hours a week for many years and sometimes I had to go in on the Friday after - depending on the job. But I still did it until I got sick of being dictated too. Ah, the freedom after setting my own rules and making our own traditions! I may die a lonely old woman one day but I'll be hell of a happy one until then! Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you all have a lovely one - regardless of how you chose to do it!
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Nov 23, 2016 23:06:44 GMT -5
Hopefully it is just stress related, tskeeter. Feels deeper than that. But, time will tell, I suppose. Rukh, for many years I had a job where we had a major project to be completed just before Christmas every year. There I was, working my backside off, trying to get cooperation from people who were more interested in holiday parties and using up vacation time than getting their part of the project done. Meanwhile trying to buy gifts and make travel arrangements to get to my family's for a day or two during the holidays. And doing laundry at 2AM so I had clean clothes to make the trip home. Man, I hated Christmas. It took several years after I left that job to settle in to a more normal Christmas mind set. Hoping you can change a thing or two that is stressing you out so that you can find some enjoyment in the holidays.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Nov 24, 2016 10:38:34 GMT -5
I've got a good compromise, thought I would share!You know - if any were also totting too many things, or feeling that the holiday was out of their hands/catering to others. I'm starting thanksgiving at our house at noon, with the lighter/pre fare - crudites and dip, salad with homemade pomegranate vinaigrette, etc. this way, we are starting our own celebration, and there is less to carry Then I will pack up some of our must-have dishes to take, cook some veggies there to share (asparagus, brussel sprouts), and then we are going to have some of the other traditional, must-have sides on different days - mac and cheese caserole, greenbean caserole, my "special" squash, etc. as semi-main events with other leftovers throughout the weekend. I'm calling it Multigiving
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Nov 24, 2016 10:55:20 GMT -5
Last year DH was pulling 18-hour workdays right up to Dec 23 and we left to visit family Dec 26. Needless to say I did all the shopping, most of the wrapping, and told DH what to get me. This year they don't have the big project due...I am thinking this one year we can suck it up and bring DS out to his parents' house for Christmas proper; I can cook a big dinner and they can invite whatever family they want. The tricky bit will be convincing them they don't get to expect that to happen every year. For Thanksgiving, we stay home and have it just the three of us, four if you count the dog. I like cooking; I don't like cleaning, and we're all pretty introverted so this suits us just fine. Especially the dog; I bought a whole turkey this year and none of the humans will eat the dark meat
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Nov 24, 2016 10:56:39 GMT -5
Hopefully it is just stress related, tskeeter. Feels deeper than that. But, time will tell, I suppose. Rukh, for many years I had a job where we had a major project to be completed just before Christmas every year. There I was, working my backside off, trying to get cooperation from people who were more interested in holiday parties and using up vacation time than getting their part of the project done. Meanwhile trying to buy gifts and make travel arrangements to get to my family's for a day or two during the holidays. And doing laundry at 2AM so I had clean clothes to make the trip home. Man, I hated Christmas. It took several years after I left that job to settle in to a more normal Christmas mind set. Hoping you can change a thing or two that is stressing you out so that you can find some enjoyment in the holidays.thanks for the encouragement! I can't do much this year about controlling stress, maybe not next, hopefully after that life will be more controllable, and less stressed. And we'll all be done with the degrees we are working on now Let see, that is holiday season 2018, and I think that is doable! Although - I think both kids are headed for more school, but that will be good. and, a different scenario than now all around. However, while I can't do a lot about the current stress level, I can do a little. One thing I definitely need to do is to schedule some regular exercise/yoga/meditation time into my routine. At least in mid-January by the latest, maybe December, my financial pinch will be alleviated. I'll get my tuition reimbursement for this semester, it's a 3 paycheck month, a potential for end of year bonus , and then the paychecks for the 3rd job kick in January. Plus - I am thinking about biting the bullet and taking out a loan for some big ticket home maintenance things that need doing. then refinancing that loan into the mortgage if rates makes sense. I've been ignoring some of these things but of course, they just get worse and then the worry is worse too.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Nov 24, 2016 12:20:54 GMT -5
trying out this recipe: selfproclaimedfoodie.com/pomegranate-vinaigretteused a combo of apple cider and regular balsamic, reduced vinegar by about 1/3 as these two are stronger flavored. the balsamic did ruin the color a bit, still very tasty! I doubled the recipe, and put the cup of pomegranate seeds in cheese cloth and pressed and squeezed and twisted. Worked very well, no splashing.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 24, 2016 12:23:05 GMT -5
My sister announced she was burned out one year, so on Christmas we all wore old t-shirts, jeans or shorts, and we ate tacos off paper plates, gathered around the coffee table. It was a great Christmas.
I always dreaded halloween, but now my husband and I sit together in the front yard and drink and pass out candy. We have a "one for you, one for me policy." It is rare that my hubs and I get a chance to just sit and hang out, so it is really nice.
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naughtybear
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Post by naughtybear on Nov 24, 2016 13:52:23 GMT -5
I am going to a bonfire tonight and she calls her house the Island of Misfit Toys. Where is that from?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2016 13:57:47 GMT -5
I am going to a bonfire tonight and she calls her house the Island of Misfit Toys. Where is that from? Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Nov 24, 2016 14:03:47 GMT -5
trying out this recipe: selfproclaimedfoodie.com/pomegranate-vinaigretteused a combo of apple cider and regular balsamic, reduced vinegar by about 1/3 as these two are stronger flavored. the balsamic did ruin the color a bit, still very tasty! I doubled the recipe, and put the cup of pomegranate seeds in cheese cloth and pressed and squeezed and twisted. Worked very well, no splashing. You can buy pure pomegranate juice, syrup or paste at your nearest Middle Eastern market. I use the syrup for everything from mixing it with sparkling water, adding colour to food, or making Fesenjan, a Persian pomegranate-walnut chicken.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Nov 24, 2016 14:17:53 GMT -5
I am going to a bonfire tonight and she calls her house the Island of Misfit Toys. Where is that from? Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. that's where Petunia is. Other side of island is for unwanted cars...
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Nov 24, 2016 14:32:15 GMT -5
I had some holiday spirit this morning, while cooking. Then I stopped cooking and had to deal with my husband and kids.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Nov 24, 2016 14:38:20 GMT -5
For those struggling to stay pleasant amidst difficult family members:
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Nov 24, 2016 15:02:01 GMT -5
I always dreaded halloween, but now my husband and I sit together in the front yard and drink and pass out. We have a "one for you, one for me policy." . I took out one word and made this a very interesting party. 😜
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2016 21:01:58 GMT -5
Interesting Thanksgiving. It's the first time I've gone to my family's T-Day in maybe 15 years...even though it's always right next door. No political fights which was nice. My cousin who always seems to have the perfect life on Facebook doesn't seem so perfect in real life. Her daughter travels all over the country for figure skating and is really good (maybe 9 or 10 years old), but she is a BRAT. Definitely no self esteem issues there.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 24, 2016 22:14:39 GMT -5
I walked through the neighborhood looking at the houses with all the cars in front of them and the smells coming from their homes. Later on I could hear talking and laughing coming from them as well. I was glad for them.
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dee27
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Post by dee27 on Nov 24, 2016 22:58:43 GMT -5
For Zib
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Nov 25, 2016 12:10:09 GMT -5
Can't your kids help? I'd have been looking for recipes to do ahead. We have one for mashed potatoes. They freeze well for a month or longer.. Do you have any grocery stores that you can order meals from? It might be too late now, to put in an order... And, your choice, or not to deal with family crap. You don't have to, you know. You are old enough now, where you are "allowed" to spend your time with people who won't put you down... thanks gira, I know. But my mom is 93, so every refused invite could be the last. I've been resisting a lot of guilt trips, but I do have to give in now and again. I have my plan when my mom gives up hosting. We can spend time with her not on thrusday, and she can do thursday with other hosting relatives. My kids will help, each helps with certain dishes. I am trying to pitch an idea that we do a scaled down meal thursday and our "real" thanksgiving Friday. There has been resistance. I may go with smaller portions of everything - and if we run out, we run out! Except for gravy! must have gravy! I have a super special squash I grew this year, and only one ripened! I've been trying for years, don't recall name but it looks like a smaller blue pumpkin. I've been meaning it for thxgiving. but that alone is hard to transport. I'm going to make the pies, make the french fried onions, and set up the bread for stuffing today. but oops! did the shopping yesterday - and forgot onions! We've been using our garden onions since july, but they have run out...just super small ones left. need a big one for the french frying. rukh I had a similar situation for years. My late MIL insisted on "hosting" both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. She was in her 80's and could not stand for any length of time. So I'd go over to her house and "help" (doing all the work) , but she had a tiny kitchen with very limited counter space. (Getting to her house was a 2 hr trip each way, and longer on holidays because of ferry traffic).....I'd beg her to come over to my house and let me do Thanksgiving, but she was pretty insistent. In addition, I had to cook a separate meal on a different day so I could have my own kids and grandkids over. So, I ended up cooking and preparing TWO meals. Thank goodness DH is great about doing the cleanup (he doesn't "help" with cleanup. He DOES it The issue ended when she ended up in an adult family home.
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