I've lost my holiday spirit

[Rukh O'Rorke]

The last 2 holloweens, I've noticed that I'm just going through the motions. Inwardly, I dread the start at the door, and I'm glad when it stops.

It's spreading to other holidays, seems like a lot of work.

I used to love holidays, but the thought of cooking a big special meal this week is just annoying. When that is over, I need to start planning for the Christmas blow out. I know I maintained a child-like glee about holidays well beyond most people, but I never expected to become such a scrooge. i prefer my usual evening to a holiday! 

Is this a funk, or is this being a "grown up"?

[Phoenix84]

I've lost all interest in Halloween when I was 14 years old and never got it back.

As for the rest, it's a good excuse to see friends and family, but beyond that I don't share a child like glee for them. So you're not alone.  Though Christmas has special significance for me as a religious holiday.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Nov 22, 2016 10:52:40 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

The last 2 holloweens, I've noticed that I'm just going through the motions. Inwardly, I dread the start at the door, and I'm glad when it stops.

It's spreading to other holidays, seems like a lot of work.

I used to love holidays, but the thought of cooking a big special meal this week is just annoying. When that is over, I need to start planning for the Christmas blow out. I know I maintained a child-like glee about holidays well beyond most people, but I never expected to become such a scrooge. i prefer my usual evening to a holiday! 

Is this a funk, or is this being a "grown up"?

I noticed my holiday spirit waning when, in general, holidays became less about spending time with each other and more about who exceeded Martha Stewart's abilities to decorate and cook.  

I decorate.  And, I cook (reasonably well).  But, I don't need either to be a competition...

[giramomma]

I think it's a symptom of where you are in life right now. When I have more things demanding my attention and less time for self care, things like the holidays are just like "ugh, just another thing to do."

For myself, I expect it's just a stage like all things. Eventually it will pass and I will enjoy the holidays, rather than looking at it as something that is just adding more to my to-do list.

We decorate cookies for Halloween. I was all "really, do I HAVE to bake?" even though I like it. I'm so glad I did. We had one really, really enjoyable hour with all the kids behaving, laughing, and generally having a good time. These good times are hard to come by these days..so it was really worth it.

[Deleted]

If I had to host an entire meal, I would hate it.  As it is, our family normally all contributes to the Thanksgiving/Christmas meals.  Everyone brings their specialty and to goes without saying year after year that's what you're bringing! 

But, the holidays are just "meh" to me.  Each of my boys are going to a separate part of the state on Thursday.  Whatever.  It's just another day.  The day after all three of us are going to my brother's and having T-Day part II. 

[janee]

I still love the holidays. I watch and listen to really cheesy cheerful TV, movies, and music.  Always improves my mood. DH does roll his eyes sometimes!

Good luck!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I love Christmas. I enjoy decorating the house so it looks like "Santa exploded" according to DH.

I get to cook for the first time for thanksgiving and I've been going nuts looking at recipes for my contribution to the meal. I may have to reign it in a little.

[zibazinski]

Last year I was still numb and in shock. I barely remember the holidays. This year I'm well aware of them.

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Nov 22, 2016 11:03:40 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

If I had to host an entire meal, I would hate it.  

I regard my situation as worse. I have to cook the entire spread for us, pack it all up, take it to someone else's house, and try to keep it hot until they are ready to serve. It is the worst, in my opinion. I help with the clean up, pack our leftovers, and come back to my own kitchen that is a disaster area. 

I really thought I'd get out of it this year, but each year, my mom says "I'll do it one more year" and how can I shoot her down? She thinks she is going to go over soon, so, how mean can I be?

It might be more tolerable if it wasn't for the aggrieved inconveniencing us having our food warming creates, and the thinly veiled "we're tolerating Rukh's weirdness, yet again, but it's so inconvenient, we're so accommodating" But the one time I didn't go, and just went for desert, it was a major issue. 

[jeep108]

Now that I have no little kids to buy for and it's all adults, it's not as fun of a holiday.  My dad died on Dec 13th 2013 so, the holidays are just different now.  Trying to heal from radiation this year, I'm not feeling the holidays at all. I have a fake it until you make attitude, right now. 

[giramomma]

Nov 22, 2016 11:34:41 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Last year I was still numb and in shock. I barely remember the holidays. This year I'm well aware of them.

[giramomma]

Nov 22, 2016 11:35:51 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

Nov 22, 2016 11:03:40 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

If I had to host an entire meal, I would hate it.  

I regard my situation as worse. I have to cook the entire spread for us, pack it all up, take it to someone else's house, and try to keep it hot until they are ready to serve. It is the worst, in my opinion. I help with the clean up, pack our leftovers, and come back to my own kitchen that is a disaster area. 

I really thought I'd get out of it this year, but each year, my mom says "I'll do it one more year" and how can I shoot her down? She thinks she is going to go over soon, so, how mean can I be?

It might be more tolerable if it wasn't for the aggrieved inconveniencing us having our food warming creates, and the thinly veiled "we're tolerating Rukh's weirdness, yet again, but it's so inconvenient, we're so accommodating" But the one time I didn't go, and just went for desert, it was a major issue. 

Can't your kids help?

I'd have been looking for recipes to do ahead. We have one for mashed potatoes. They freeze well for a month or longer..

Do you have any grocery stores that you can order meals from? It might be too late now, to put in an order...

And, your choice, or not to deal with family crap. You don't have to, you know. You are old enough now, where you are "allowed" to spend your time with people who won't put you down...

[buystoys]

DH and I chose to spend Thanksgiving alone this year.  We talked about it a few weeks ago and just decided that we're tired and really don't want to spend the day in a house full of people.  If my family is insulted, well, they'll get over it! 

I like making candy and cookies for Christmas, so I enjoy that.  After last year, though, I'm cutting way back on our Christmas Eve and Christmas activities.  I go overboard and I do enjoy everyone coming over and eating all the goodies I make.  Last year, though, everyone was just dropping by when they felt like it, so I ended up feeling like I spent the two days in the kitchen.  DH and I will likely just do Christmas Eve alone and maybe Christmas Day with my family.  Hasn't come up yet so we haven't had to commit.

[MJ2.0]

Nov 22, 2016 11:43:59 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 22, 2016 11:35:51 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

I regard my situation as worse. I have to cook the entire spread for us, pack it all up, take it to someone else's house, and try to keep it hot until they are ready to serve. It is the worst, in my opinion. I help with the clean up, pack our leftovers, and come back to my own kitchen that is a disaster area. 

I really thought I'd get out of it this year, but each year, my mom says "I'll do it one more year" and how can I shoot her down? She thinks she is going to go over soon, so, how mean can I be?

It might be more tolerable if it wasn't for the aggrieved inconveniencing us having our food warming creates, and the thinly veiled "we're tolerating Rukh's weirdness, yet again, but it's so inconvenient, we're so accommodating" But the one time I didn't go, and just went for desert, it was a major issue. 

Can't your kids help?

I'd have been looking for recipes to do ahead. We have one for mashed potatoes. They freeze well for a month or longer..

Do you have any grocery stores that you can order meals from? It might be too late now, to put in an order...

And, your choice, or not to deal with family crap. You don't have to, you know. You are old enough now, where you are "allowed" to spend your time with people who won't put you down...

Rukh O'Rorke, your kids are adults - give them each a dish and put them to work! Or if you would rather cook everything, put them on kitchen clean-up duty. Since you're vegan, I'd cook just enough of what I and the kids (I assume they are also vegan) would eat and nothing more. Everyone else can contribute.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Nov 22, 2016 11:35:51 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

Nov 22, 2016 11:03:40 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

If I had to host an entire meal, I would hate it.  

I regard my situation as worse. I have to cook the entire spread for us, pack it all up, take it to someone else's house, and try to keep it hot until they are ready to serve. It is the worst, in my opinion. I help with the clean up, pack our leftovers, and come back to my own kitchen that is a disaster area. 

I really thought I'd get out of it this year, but each year, my mom says "I'll do it one more year" and how can I shoot her down? She thinks she is going to go over soon, so, how mean can I be?

It might be more tolerable if it wasn't for the aggrieved inconveniencing us having our food warming creates, and the thinly veiled "we're tolerating Rukh's weirdness, yet again, but it's so inconvenient, we're so accommodating" But the one time I didn't go, and just went for desert, it was a major issue. 

We're in the same boat but because of food allergies.  Last Christmas I finally said enough, and we ate dinner at home, and went for dessert only.  We are on our own for Thanksgiving this year (although DB and DSIL might join us if they get out of work early enough) and my kids are thrilled.  I did the cook/pack up/transport/re-heat thing for years to enable my kids to spend the holidays with extended family.  Turns out, they would have been just as happy to stay at home.  

[sesfw]

Last year I was still numb and in shock. I barely remember the holidays. This year I'm well aware of them.

That's ok zib ........ nothing wrong with that.  If you can find a 'Longest Night' service somewhere, try to go ......... You can always find something there.

One of the things I have done every year since my Bill died is buy a mini ornament, wrap it and place it in the cedar chest.  Someday the kids will find them and know about my 'Bill gift'.  He was a train nut so it's the Hallmark mini series.  Helps me.

Are you writing a journal?  Over time you can see how far you have come.  The hole never leaves but it does scar over a bit.  It's always there.

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Nov 22, 2016 11:43:59 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 22, 2016 11:35:51 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

I regard my situation as worse. I have to cook the entire spread for us, pack it all up, take it to someone else's house, and try to keep it hot until they are ready to serve. It is the worst, in my opinion. I help with the clean up, pack our leftovers, and come back to my own kitchen that is a disaster area. 

I really thought I'd get out of it this year, but each year, my mom says "I'll do it one more year" and how can I shoot her down? She thinks she is going to go over soon, so, how mean can I be?

It might be more tolerable if it wasn't for the aggrieved inconveniencing us having our food warming creates, and the thinly veiled "we're tolerating Rukh's weirdness, yet again, but it's so inconvenient, we're so accommodating" But the one time I didn't go, and just went for desert, it was a major issue. 

Can't your kids help?

I'd have been looking for recipes to do ahead. We have one for mashed potatoes. They freeze well for a month or longer..

Do you have any grocery stores that you can order meals from? It might be too late now, to put in an order...

And, your choice, or not to deal with family crap. You don't have to, you know. You are old enough now, where you are "allowed" to spend your time with people who won't put you down...

thanks gira, I know. But my mom is 93, so every refused invite could be the last. I've been resisting a lot of guilt trips, but I do have to give in now and again. I have my plan when my mom gives up hosting. We can spend time with her not on thrusday, and she can do thursday with other hosting relatives.

My kids will help, each helps with certain dishes. I am trying to pitch an idea that we do a scaled down meal thursday and our "real" thanksgiving Friday. There has been resistance. I may go with smaller portions of everything - and if we run out, we run out! Except for gravy! must have gravy!

I have a super special squash I grew this year, and only one ripened! I've been trying for years, don't recall name but it looks like a smaller blue pumpkin. I've been meaning it for thxgiving. but that alone is hard to transport.

I'm going to make the pies, make the french fried onions, and set up the bread for stuffing today. but oops! did the shopping yesterday - and forgot onions!

We've been using our garden onions since july, but they have run out...just super small ones left. need a big one for the french frying.

[giramomma]

Nov 22, 2016 11:58:25 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

Nov 22, 2016 11:43:59 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Can't your kids help?

I'd have been looking for recipes to do ahead. We have one for mashed potatoes. They freeze well for a month or longer..

Do you have any grocery stores that you can order meals from? It might be too late now, to put in an order...

And, your choice, or not to deal with family crap. You don't have to, you know. You are old enough now, where you are "allowed" to spend your time with people who won't put you down...

thanks gira, I know. But my mom is 93, so every refused invite could be the last. I've been resisting a lot of guilt trips, but I do have to give in now and again. I have my plan when my mom gives up hosting. We can spend time with her not on thrusday, and she can do thursday with other hosting relatives.

My kids will help, each helps with certain dishes. I am trying to pitch an idea that we do a scaled down meal thursday and our "real" thanksgiving Friday. There has been resistance. I may go with smaller portions of everything - and if we run out, we run out! Except for gravy! must have gravy!

I have a super special squash I grew this year, and only one ripened! I've been trying for years, don't recall name but it looks like a smaller blue pumpkin. I've been meaning it for thxgiving. but that alone is hard to transport.

I'm going to make the pies, make the french fried onions, and set up the bread for stuffing today. but oops! did the shopping yesterday - and forgot onions!

We've been using our garden onions since july, but they have run out...just super small ones left. need a big one for the french frying.

I wouldn't worry about pitching a scaled down meal on Thanksgiving. I'd just do it. If others don't like it, then they can pick up the slack.
You shouldn't be killing yourself to do this.

When are you going to rest?

[Deleted]

I just got asked to work Thanksgiving (both Thursday and Friday).  It's tempting.

[swamp]

I'm beginning to see them as just another thing on my "to do" list.

[giramomma]

Nov 22, 2016 12:01:25 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I just got asked to work Thanksgiving (both Thursday and Friday).  It's tempting.

I'm taking half of today and tomorrow off, and working Friday.

[Deleted]

Nov 22, 2016 12:02:46 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Nov 22, 2016 12:01:25 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I just got asked to work Thanksgiving (both Thursday and Friday).  It's tempting.

I'm taking half of today and tomorrow off, and working Friday.

I really, really do not want to work, and have plans for Friday, but, they're offering double-time and a half plus a $75/day bonus. 

[ohmomto2boys]

I'm beginning to see them as just another thing on my "to do" list.

I'm almost to this point - maybe in another year after DS#2 doesn't "believe" any more.  However, this year a family member is getting married mid-December.  Low key wedding - they don't have a lot of money.  So, me, SIL and 2 cousins are putting together a cookie table for the reception (about 100 people).  I'm super excited about this. So glad to help them out to keep costs down.  They will have a wedding cake too.  I can't wait to start baking.  I have a bunch of ideas for quick, simple, yummy and pretty cookies for the table.

 

[Deleted]

Nov 22, 2016 10:52:40 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

The last 2 holloweens, I've noticed that I'm just going through the motions. Inwardly, I dread the start at the door, and I'm glad when it stops.

It's spreading to other holidays, seems like a lot of work.

I used to love holidays, but the thought of cooking a big special meal this week is just annoying. When that is over, I need to start planning for the Christmas blow out. I know I maintained a child-like glee about holidays well beyond most people, but I never expected to become such a scrooge. i prefer my usual evening to a holiday! 

Is this a funk, or is this being a "grown up"?

Well, you are a little young to have this happen, but it hit me a couple of years ago.  

I didn't mind doing all the work when I thought people enjoyed it, but I lost that sense over the past few years.  It sucked the joy out of the holiday for me.  I honestly enjoyed the holidays more when I worked retail than I do now.

Even gift-giving has become a chore since it's not really about picking the perfect gift that we think someone would like.  We are given links to Amazon, Zulily, etc  We just do what we are told.

Occasionally, I still have my moments.  I'm actually making an old-fashioned Thanksgiving dinner for the first time in years.  We've tried pizza, chili, and anything else that we thought the kids might want after eating turkey and dressing two or three times already.  This year it is just dinner for us.  I'm really enjoying getting ready.

[CCL]

I think many of you are just stretched too thin. Working, commuting, taking care of little ones, cleaning house, laundry, cooking. Not even including extended family obligations, it's enough to wear anyone out. Sometimes it helps to just take a break and do something for yourself, although I know that's not even possible at times. 

For myself, I'm not that into spending a lot of time with extended family. I see enough of them already lol. I love having my own kids over, though, so I focus most of my energy and time on them.

[CCL]

Nov 22, 2016 10:52:40 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

The last 2 holloweens, I've noticed that I'm just going through the motions. Inwardly, I dread the start at the door, and I'm glad when it stops.

It's spreading to other holidays, seems like a lot of work.

I used to love holidays, but the thought of cooking a big special meal this week is just annoying. When that is over, I need to start planning for the Christmas blow out. I know I maintained a child-like glee about holidays well beyond most people, but I never expected to become such a scrooge. i prefer my usual evening to a holiday! 

Is this a funk, or is this being a "grown up"?

Now that the kids are grown, we turn off the porch light and take our kids out to dinner. It's great cause we don't even know most of the little kids in the neighborhood anyway.

[CCL]

Nov 22, 2016 11:34:41 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Last year I was still numb and in shock. I barely remember the holidays. This year I'm well aware of them.

Sorry, girl. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm somewhat grateful that dh's food issues got us out of eating at his parents' house.

[CCL]

Nov 22, 2016 11:38:02 GMT -5 jeep108 said:

Now that I have no little kids to buy for and it's all adults, it's not as fun of a holiday.  My dad died on Dec 13th 2013 so, the holidays are just different now.  Trying to heal from radiation this year, I'm not feeling the holidays at all. I have a fake it until you make attitude, right now. 

[Blonde Granny]

I lost my enthusiasm for the holidays many years ago, and back then just went through the motions.

Now that I'm alone like Zib, it's even worse. All these people running around expounding all their wonderful family plans for T-Day and Christmas.....?? All it means to me is another holiday of being alone.