Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 9, 2016 16:56:54 GMT -5
it's one person trying to keep up with another adult, pets and multiple kids. On top of working full time. In all fairness, his job is more time-intensive than mine. And we really just have the one child; his other kids don't visit very often (less than 1x a year). The dogs and the stink bother him just as much as me. But to be fair, the dogs are more (or less) mine (I had 2 before we got together). But yeah, the old furniture, he shrugs at. It doesn't bother him. It doesn't really 'bother' me per se. Maybe it's just everything in total. And he's said to hire house cleaners (but yeah, won't do the leg work to get one) - he doesn't care about the cost - that is more me being a miser than him. he still lives there and is part of the problem. But I'm probably projecting a lot of my own life.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 17:07:16 GMT -5
In regards to stinker cats with litter box issues, I have a wading pool with a litter box inside. Male cat still pees outside the pool for eff's sake!!!!! So there is also a pee pad, human-not puppy due to the chemicals-and he pees on that at least once a week. I think I need to go back to the dollar store and buy out their supply. For some reason he thinks as long as he is in the vicinity of the box, he's good. Kind of like guys and their toilet aim. Rugs - the day after we closed on this place, my sister and I were here bright and early ripping up all the carpet. Only rooms that didn't have it were the kitchen and bathroom. It was actually pretty new carpet but I had a wicked barfer cat at the time and beige carpeting with barfers, and cats in general, were just not happening. Now we don't have it because DH uses a walker and it wouldn't work on it. No throw rugs either because he trips over them. I do have rugs upstairs, where DH can't go, so the cats love to go up and barf their hairballs all over them. If not there, then my side of the bed. Bitches.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 9, 2016 17:16:52 GMT -5
In all fairness, his job is more time-intensive than mine. And we really just have the one child; his other kids don't visit very often (less than 1x a year). The dogs and the stink bother him just as much as me. But to be fair, the dogs are more (or less) mine (I had 2 before we got together). But yeah, the old furniture, he shrugs at. It doesn't bother him. It doesn't really 'bother' me per se. Maybe it's just everything in total. And he's said to hire house cleaners (but yeah, won't do the leg work to get one) - he doesn't care about the cost - that is more me being a miser than him. he still lives there and is part of the problem. But I'm probably projecting a lot of my own life. Oh definitely. I'd like it if he were more pro-active and could multitask more like me.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 9, 2016 17:54:11 GMT -5
Once, when we were touring houses looking for a new one, we saw a house with carpeting everywhere, including in the BATHROOM.
I can't imagine. Living with DH and DS who apparently didn't always pay attention while peeing, I can't imagine what the carpet around the toilet would start smelling like.
With DH and myself having dust allergies and the house having a boy plus anywhere from 1 to 3 cats and a beagle, hardwoods and tile everywhere are almost mandatory.
I grew up the UK, carpet in the bathroom was standard when I was growing up. My parents still have carpet in their bathroom. My dearly departed Aunt, moved into a brand new house, pull up the vinyl in all the bathrooms and replaced it with high quality wool carpet (including the power room!). Luckily, this revolting habit of shoving carpet in bathrooms seems to be more of a generational thing. Non of my siblings will tolerate a carpeted bathroom, thank goodness. I mean it could be worse. At least there wasn't carpet in the kitchen. And when I was growing up that was a thing too! Our kitchen had carpet. The bathroom still has carpet. I hate whoever started those trends.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 18:24:19 GMT -5
Rent storage unit. Move all crap to storage unit. Quit paying bill. Watch reality tv to see people bid like crazy for your crap I know. I'm no help.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Aug 9, 2016 18:27:00 GMT -5
Another thing I hate about my house but just cannot decide how to fix it: there's an air conditioner built into the wall of the master on the second floor. i could pull it out, but who does one call to fix a giant hole in your interior and exterior wall, including siding?!?!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 18:27:06 GMT -5
Carpet sucks.
Still no help...
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Aug 9, 2016 18:31:22 GMT -5
Vent away! A few things off the top of my head: Get rid of carpet and get hardwood/tile/vinyl. Anything but carpet is good for pets and their various accidents. Go to Raymour and Flanigan/other furniture store and buy a new living room set. You'll like it and you won't have to spend bazillions of dollars. Our couch and chair was $1200 with delivery. Target and Ikea have nice, affordable home decor. Even Home Goods. I mean, I know you make better money than those places, but ease into the spending, ya know? :-) Throw things out without your spouse seeing. I do this with hubs, just as his mom and aunts do it to his Nana. What they don't know... LOL!!! I worry because H is like super sentimental. And honestly as long as he keeps his shit in his den I don't worry. The garage we need to work on though... for sure. I also have too many damn hobbies that fill up lots of the garage. That is another one of my issues. I ski bike hike run triathlete camp backpack swim ice hockey etc etc and it just goes on and on. When I was racing bicycles, my solution to a similar dilemma was to buy several cheap, durable duffle bags. Simplified storage and kept pumps, tire socks, and related gear for each bike together so I wasn't searching for and forgetting something every time I headed out.
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Happy prose
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Post by Happy prose on Aug 9, 2016 18:36:53 GMT -5
My cat ruined my carpeting by clawing it. He made two giant holes, and not in spots that a throw rug should be. It looks aweful. Here's my problem- I rent an apartment. It has hardwood floors, but when I moved in (25 yrs ago), the lady had carpet, so the floors never got refinished. After about 5 yrs, I pulled up the rugs. The floor is very beat up, but the company that the landlord uses won't come in if there is furniture. So, I got wall to wall carpet. I hate it. I'm going to be here about 7 more yrs. i was thinking about putting vinal down (still have cat), but will the floor company move and work around my furniture? I have nowhere to move it to, and I'm on the second floor.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Aug 9, 2016 18:51:39 GMT -5
I grew up the UK, carpet in the bathroom was standard when I was growing up. My parents still have carpet in their bathroom. My dearly departed Aunt, moved into a brand new house, pull up the vinyl in all the bathrooms and replaced it with high quality wool carpet (including the power room!). Luckily, this revolting habit of shoving carpet in bathrooms seems to be more of a generational thing. Non of my siblings will tolerate a carpeted bathroom, thank goodness. I mean it could be worse. At least there wasn't carpet in the kitchen. And when I was growing up that was a thing too! Our kitchen had carpet. The bathroom still has carpet. I hate whoever started those trends. I will never understand why anyone thought that was a good idea.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 19:01:45 GMT -5
Our kitchen had carpet. The bathroom still has carpet. I hate whoever started those trends. I'm pretty sure we spent too much fixing up our last house to sell it, but will NEVER regret replacing the nasty bathroom carpet with tile.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Aug 9, 2016 19:09:39 GMT -5
If I had my way I'd never have carpet anywhere. It's bad for my allergies.
I'd say start by hiring a housekeeper. And a painter because life is too short to stare at paint you hate.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 19:26:02 GMT -5
I'm with you on the carpets. We have a nine-year-old cocker spaniel who forgets she is house trained some of the time. Mostly, she goes on bath rugs, and we have them in both bathrooms and DH's bedroom. But she has made more unfortunate choices as well. We keep cleaning it, but we are waiting until we are dog-less before we replace. We hope that is no time soon.
We also need to replace at least some of the tile in the kitchen area. The grout is cracking and we took one tile out because the grout disintegrated. We were tripping over it. We think the problem is the floor itself so we want to wait until we get ready to sell to fix. We have a kitchen mat over the rest of the cracking grout so we can live with it. It actually is no longer cracking because of the mat. It absorbs the pressure or whatever. But the missing tile looks bad. The guy who did it was a friend (actually ex-bf's SIL) who shortly thereafter committed suicide because he was a druggie. We rarely complain aloud about the tile. It would be hurtful and pointless.
However, our house doesn't smell. I will give it that. I am all over any "accident" to prevent that.
It just could look a whole lot better.
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Aug 9, 2016 19:31:02 GMT -5
Another thing I hate about my house but just cannot decide how to fix it: there's an air conditioner built into the wall of the master on the second floor. i could pull it out, but who does one call to fix a giant hole in your interior and exterior wall, including siding?!?! Carpenter. That's what you need! Stay away from General contractors or handy man. GC will overcharge you and the handy man will most likely screw everything up and leave you with a mess.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Aug 9, 2016 19:32:55 GMT -5
Our master bath was carpeted until my wheelchair wrecked it. The previous owners ran the carpet in from the bedroom to bath. TD had the carpet pulled up in the master bedroom, LR and DR and had hardwoods put in. He was going to run the hardwood into the bath to get rid of the carpet, but when they tried, there was something wrong with the subfloor.
We tiled the bath a couple years ago. Carpet is now gone.
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Aug 9, 2016 19:36:13 GMT -5
If you have a concrete floor and you wanna put in floor heating, you'd have to look up "warm board". There is an outfit in California that does that. It is rather expensive but a good solution. You can finish the top with wood or tile, your choice!
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Aug 9, 2016 19:44:51 GMT -5
Well oped laughingly gave you a suggestion that I actually feel is not *too* far off. I did a variation of what she suggested almost 4 years ago when I had some significant internal and external upgrading/remodeling done on my house.
We packed up everything and put it in storage. We decided to do it because the wood floors needed some kind of repair in almost every room (we took out the wall and floor heaters and put in a forced air system), in addition to wanting all of the floors refinished together so the look was consistent throughout the house. It also made the wall/drywall repairs and painting go much smoother (and faster!) because the rooms were empty and the painters didn't need to move furniture and/or work in awkward spaces around furniture. Not to mention the potential for dust and other damage to the "good stuff" by leaving it in the house while that scale of work was going on.
We then started being *very* selective about what came back into the house. We did the rooms slowly over a few weeks as each got finished. The rule was - if we didn't love it or it didn't fit with the re-designed floor plan or the paint colors, it didn't come back. It's amazing how much stuff we *didn't* miss. A fair amount of the antique and vintage furniture came back, but a lot of "stuff" and some furniture fit the old adage "out of sight, out of mind."
And in the end, it was a lot easier and a lot less of a guilt-ridden process to just leave the old stuff behind rather than fret over the guilt of getting rid of it when it was right in front of us ("we can't get rid of this - grandma gave it to me"). But maybe that's just us. Again, it was amazing how much *stuff* I didn't miss and STILL don't miss. After 3 months (what we pre-paid for storage), we sent what didn't return to the house to Goodwill. It was already packed up and ready to go.
For me, it would have been more stressful to try and get rid of stuff on the front end. JMHO YMMV
What to keep and what to toss can be paralyzing, I get it. Good luck whatever you decide.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Aug 9, 2016 19:57:58 GMT -5
Another thing I hate about my house but just cannot decide how to fix it: there's an air conditioner built into the wall of the master on the second floor. i could pull it out, but who does one call to fix a giant hole in your interior and exterior wall, including siding?!?! Carpenter. That's what you need! Stay away from General contractors or handy man. GC will overcharge you and the handy man will most likely screw everything up and leave you with a mess. How do I find a carpenter? Please teach me how to do things!!!
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Aug 9, 2016 19:58:55 GMT -5
If carpet is only in the basement, can you just not allow the dogs in the basement? If my dog gets to the point where she pees in my house, the amount of rooms she has access to is going to be limited. As for the rest of it, I would start purging stuff. Really your furniture has lasted a long time, there isn't any reason to continue using it. It isn't immoral to replace furniture that isn't working for you. Hah. Excellent suggestion. We've tried different things - but if the dogs are on the main level of the house they will bark at people walking to the park (I live right by a very busy park) and then my across-the-street neighbor calls the cops on me. In Missouri we had a doggie door and that actually worked really well. Sadly I'm afraid if my dogs barked during the day the cops would have to show up. :/ I could keep on the top floor, but then they'll be peeing in my bed. I actually DO have a dog walker come 2x a week. Our new puppy was a nusiance barker -til we got this www.amazon.com/PetSafe-PBC00-15266-Indoor-Bark-Control/dp/B00VPVJKMM/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1470790565&sr=8-7&keywords=electronic+bark+controlNo bark collar. When they bark, it emits a high pitch tone humans cant hear. But she could. Her ears would go back. Took about a couple of weeks. She rarely barks now. And I'd bite the bullet and have a dog walker come daily.
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Aug 9, 2016 20:18:18 GMT -5
The latest thing that I know about finding a tradesman in any area is HOUZZ. Typicaly everybody has a profile of the business and so on. Try someone that has at most 1-2 employees and prefer small jobs or they have just pictures of small projects posted. If there is a prevalent number of whole house remodel and so on, forget it, try someone else. The easiest to find a carpenter is through a friend of a friend of a friend.... Patching up a hole where there is an air conditioner should be a small thing that a decent carpenter can handle in a few hours. There are plenty of carpenters that work for contractors that are willing to moonlight. Cash, hush hush!
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Aug 9, 2016 20:29:01 GMT -5
Once, when we were touring houses looking for a new one, we saw a house with carpeting everywhere, including in the BATHROOM.
We bought our house from 90 something year olds (the realtor was seriously scared that if we didn't close quickly we might have to deal with probate) and they had white carpet through the entire house - including both bathrooms. The only place that didn't have the white carpet was the kitchen (which was white tile w/light tan grout) and the garage (which was green astroturf type carpet.) The house we just closed on we bought from a 93 year old woman. It has carpet in the bathroom. As soon as we get the backyard fenced in so the little one doesn't continue to make a mad dash to the neighbors deck, the bathroom will be dealt with.
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Aug 9, 2016 21:12:30 GMT -5
I would second the suggestion on crate training the dogs. Mine were trained from puppies, which is probably much easier than trying to train them now, but would still be worth it. My Tazmanian devil girl had to go in her crate whenever I left the house for her first three years, otherwise she would level the place. I gradually taught her to stay loose in a spare room without destroying it. Then she got the run of the house. I hated having the crates out taking up so much room, but it was better than the alternative of being stressed out and mad at the dogs for wrecking stuff.
My girl dog has been having issues with the indoor/outdoor thing recently since I had to leave her at a kennel when I was out of town for a few days. I've gone back to confining her to a spare room during work and when I'm asleep, and will work back up to giving her the run of the house again. If she starts messing up that room she'll be confined to her kennel during restricted hours.
I ripped all the carpet out of my house. It makes a huge difference having it gone when you have pets.
I had a dumpster delivered to my house for about a week and did a huge purge...old furniture, appliances, junk, etc. Once all that crap was out of the house and garage i took everything out of the garage and put back stuff in a logical order and made sure I had ample storage bins and a place for everything.
My house still isn't perfect, but I don't dread coming home anymore. I'm also not embarrassed to have people over. It's a relief to come back to a home that can be whipped into shape pretty quickly if I let it go too long vs. one where I can't do anything because of junk or not being able to find what I need.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 3:00:42 GMT -5
The latest thing that I know about finding a tradesman in any area is HOUZZ. Typicaly everybody has a profile of the business and so on. Try someone that has at most 1-2 employees and prefer small jobs or they have just pictures of small projects posted. If there is a prevalent number of whole house remodel and so on, forget it, try someone else. The easiest to find a carpenter is through a friend of a friend of a friend.... Patching up a hole where there is an air conditioner should be a small thing that a decent carpenter can handle in a few hours. There are plenty of carpenters that work for contractors that are willing to moonlight. Cash, hush hush! We've been trying to get people to recommend someone but so far nothing. We need some old water damage/rot fixed around a kitchen door/sill and we have no clue who to call. Guess I'll check out HOUZZ. Do you think if I take pictures of what we need repaired and took it to the local lumber supply store, they'd give us some reputable names? WE NEED IT DONE!!!!!!!!!!! I want DH's handicap ramp put up but we can't do it until it's been repaired and he won't let me do it. All I need is some 2x4 (not Drama's-these would be clean), ice and water shield and some new shingles. I think it would be easy peasy but he's being a prick about it. I just don't want GRG's situation. That would be bad.
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Happy prose
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Post by Happy prose on Aug 10, 2016 4:44:49 GMT -5
What do you do with your furniture when you change flooring? I'm hesitant to call because I have nowhere to out it. Will they move it around?
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Aug 10, 2016 6:10:28 GMT -5
If all fails, go to a local lumber yard, something like Lowes or similar. Watch the contractors, their behavior and anything else down to the truck and clothing and pick your target! If you you hire someone to change your floors, depends on the deal. Some will move your furniture at no charge but some will ask that you have the room empty. Ask them!
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Aug 10, 2016 6:16:02 GMT -5
I hate my house too, and it is my fault. No dogs, or 2 careers, but we bought a fixer-upper, and 9 years later it's only about 40% fixed up. It's also cluttered and filled mostly with mismatched hand-me-down furniture.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Aug 10, 2016 7:10:00 GMT -5
he still lives there and is part of the problem. But I'm probably projecting a lot of my own life. Oh definitely. I'd like it if he were more pro-active and could multitask more like me. I would like a proactive multi tasking DH also.
As an experiment once, I stopped mopping the kitchen floor, just to see if DH or DS noticed it. It got to the point where your shoes could stick on the dried food spots when you walked across it, and neither commented.
Either DH never sees anything below his waist, or he pretends he doesn't, because to admit the kitchen floor is awash in food stains and cat hair would mean he might have to mop it himself.
(He says he can't mop because he can't figure out how the mop 'works.' Says the man who drives a car to work every day and manages to use both a cell phone and an MP3 player).
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 10, 2016 7:13:54 GMT -5
I would second the suggestion on crate training the dogs. Mine were trained from puppies, which is probably much easier than trying to train them now, but would still be worth it. My Tazmanian devil girl had to go in her crate whenever I left the house for her first three years, otherwise she would level the place. I gradually taught her to stay loose in a spare room without destroying it. Then she got the run of the house. I hated having the crates out taking up so much room, but it was better than the alternative of being stressed out and mad at the dogs for wrecking stuff. My girl dog has been having issues with the indoor/outdoor thing recently since I had to leave her at a kennel when I was out of town for a few days. I've gone back to confining her to a spare room during work and when I'm asleep, and will work back up to giving her the run of the house again. If she starts messing up that room she'll be confined to her kennel during restricted hours. I ripped all the carpet out of my house. It makes a huge difference having it gone when you have pets. I had a dumpster delivered to my house for about a week and did a huge purge...old furniture, appliances, junk, etc. Once all that crap was out of the house and garage i took everything out of the garage and put back stuff in a logical order and made sure I had ample storage bins and a place for everything. My house still isn't perfect, but I don't dread coming home anymore. I'm also not embarrassed to have people over. It's a relief to come back to a home that can be whipped into shape pretty quickly if I let it go too long vs. one where I can't do anything because of junk or not being able to find what I need. Completely agree with the bolded, and hardwood was one of our major requirements when looking at houses. I grew up on carpeted homes with multiple pets and had two apartments with carpet. It holds onto smells, no matter how clean you think you are. Our last apartment was hardwood and I will never go back to carpet. We have two cats and had two litter boxes in a roughly 650 square foot apartment. It did not smell like I had two cats. I mean, of course sometimes it smelled, but once I would get off my lazy ass and clean the boxes, it was fine. Our house has the original hardwood throughout, except kitchen and bathroom, and currently we have a 5x7 area rug in our bedroom and a 7x10 rug in the dining room. The floors are too beautiful to cover. The previous owners had a cat and a large, fluffy dog. The floors are still in good condition, thankfully. I think having hardwood made it easier to air out the house when we settled.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Aug 10, 2016 7:14:37 GMT -5
The latest thing that I know about finding a tradesman in any area is HOUZZ. Typicaly everybody has a profile of the business and so on. Try someone that has at most 1-2 employees and prefer small jobs or they have just pictures of small projects posted. If there is a prevalent number of whole house remodel and so on, forget it, try someone else. The easiest to find a carpenter is through a friend of a friend of a friend.... Patching up a hole where there is an air conditioner should be a small thing that a decent carpenter can handle in a few hours. There are plenty of carpenters that work for contractors that are willing to moonlight. Cash, hush hush! We've been trying to get people to recommend someone but so far nothing. We need some old water damage/rot fixed around a kitchen door/sill and we have no clue who to call. Guess I'll check out HOUZZ. Do you think if I take pictures of what we need repaired and took it to the local lumber supply store, they'd give us some reputable names? WE NEED IT DONE!!!!!!!!!!! I want DH's handicap ramp put up but we can't do it until it's been repaired and he won't let me do it. All I need is some 2x4 (not Drama's-these would be clean), ice and water shield and some new shingles. I think it would be easy peasy but he's being a prick about it. I just don't want GRG's situation. That would be bad. Do you have a reliable plumber or electrician you've used who could recommend a carpenter they've worked with before? I asked the person who laid our hardwoods if he could recommend a painter he'd worked with before, and he gave me a name of a good company. A lot of times on big remodels the different contractors overlap so they get to know the quality companies from the fly by night guys.
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ohmomto2boys
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Post by ohmomto2boys on Aug 10, 2016 9:04:13 GMT -5
For a second, I thought I wrote this thread in my sleep..... We dislike our house too. 1. Too big. Even when we looked at it 9 years ago, we made a comment that we didn't need 2600 sq. ft. 2. Dog. What the heck was I thinking getting a dog 3 years ago. I really like him, but he is so time consuming, messy, smelly, expensive. 3. Furniture. I had to buy slip covers a couple years ago because the furniture was looking bad. 18 years old. 4. Drive way is crumbling. $7k to replace - not happening in the next few years. 5. Basement. There are a few spots of mold and other things going on down there. We need to address this sooner than later, but again, $ is an issue. We need to DIY this and soon. 6. Flooring. Carpet needs replaced. We want hardwood flooring, but kitchen needs updated, fireplace needs work, etc.....it is a snowball of one project that leads into another project, so we do nothing because we don't have the $ to do it properly and completely. 7. I work part-time, so I do 100% of the work around the house. I work 25 hours a week, take kids to practice, mow, landscaping, walk dog, clean house, cook, grocery shop, etc. DH does NOTHING. He works 40-45 hours a week.
I feel your pain. Houses are a drain - physically and monetarily.
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