I kind of hate my house. And mostly, it's my own fault.

[HoneyBBQ]

Long stream of consciousness happening here; I can't really share elsewhere.

1. My house is too big. When we were house shopping, we were looking for 2500 sq feet, 2 car garage, and a yard. (1 live-in child, 2 step kids that said they would visit, etc). Basically in the housing market here, anything in a 'reasonable' price range for what we wanted (750k-950k) would have 10+ offers. Honestly, the easiest thing for us was to up our budget and we ended up with a 3500 sq foot house. There's really nothing 'wrong' with the space, but I'm having issues managing it, as will be delineated below.

2. My house smells. It's my own fault. I have 3 dogs. One is blind, and deaf and doesn't know the indoors from the outdoors. The other one... I don't know what the hell her problem is but she sometimes won't pee outside and goes on the carpet instead. So once those two dogs are gone, I'll replace the disgusting carpeting in the basement and hopefully it won't smell QUITE as bad as it does now. But I'm not kidding anyone. My house smells like dog. *I* smell like dog.

3. My house is dirty. 2 career household, 1 small child, 3 stinky dogs = mess. I actually tried to get some house cleaning help and most places around here want a 6-700$ "initial cleaning" and then $450 every 2 weeks (this is only to clean 2200 square feet, the bedrooms and main floor, not counting the stinky basement). I am too cheap to blow that much money. In the midwest for a similar house we paid $75 every two weeks and it was FINE. The cost of living here is in-fucking sane.

4. All our furniture is old and crappy. My spouse was divorced and furnished his old house with crappy garage sale furniture (which is FINE) but it doesn't really match our style aesthetic and it's OLD (we've been together 10 years now) and not the right height/functional/etc. Lots of 'my' furniture is also old and dinged up. I'm also too cheap to just waive my hands and buy all new stuff. I try to convince myself this is a 'keeping up with the joneses thing' and I should be happy with the furniture we have.

5. My spouse is a mess. Unfortunately we ended up in a 1 car garage that contains all our bikes, his 2 motorcycles, our camping equipment, and all the car and household repair stuff (sanders, painting, tools, etc) and I can't FIND ANYTHING ANYWHERE. It really drives me up a wall. I've tried to get him organized but I can't. I got a zillion bins and labeled them and started sorting stuff but then it gets moved and I have no fucking idea where it went. I found an old wooden toybox on the side of the street the other day (see, told you I was cheap!) and I wanted to sand it and paint it and I spent 30 minutes looking for the sander. Nope, couldn't find it. His 'den' is also where all his old things go - he is a VERY sentimental and keeps everything and his den is a disaster. Luckily I keep most of the things I'd want to see or use out of there but sometimes stuff like packing tape ends up in there and I can't find it.

6. I really wish I could downsize and throw everything away. I'd seriously be ok with that. But there is no way spouse would do that. If I throw everything I hate away, my house will be empty. How weird will that be? I also have NO clue what to do with a space that is off the kitchen - right now it is DD's play room but when she is older and doesn't need a play room any more what the hell will it be? We already have a living room and a TV room (in the basement). Yoga? Libary? I have no idea.

7. The entire interior of the house is painted builder's yellow and I HATE YELLOW. I have been slowly painting but with a giant fucking house it goes way too slow. So over half the house is still yellow.

8. We are going to go over the capital gains allowance. And we might have to get married? I dunno. We're up over 400k in gains in 3 years. And I'm not sure if the 500k sale exclusion only applies to married couples or if we count?

So, in summary, I want to sell my giant ugly stinky house and throw away everything and live in a non smelly small and cute house that is not painted yellow inside. But I can't. I'm not even sure what my whiny post is for but I wanted to vent so thank you. I should probably just hire someone to paint, clean, and get a decorator. I should probably replace the carpet NOW and even if I have to replace it again in 5 years I should just DO it. I should hire an organizer to force spouse to clean shared spaces and make it functional. But I'm a cheap bastard and will probably just wallow in misery for all eternity.

The end.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I hear you on #2 and #3 and #5.  Those tiny living space shows are very appealing to me. .. until I realize I'd be sharing it with DH, the kids and the dogs.   Then it sounds more like a recipe for a Discovery ID special.

[saveinla]

If having money and not doing those things makes you miserable, try to compromise and do a few things that will make you feel a little better - like the painting and the carpeting.

What is the point in earning money if you don't spend at least on some of your wants?

[milee]

It's not about the house.

And I'm really sorry you're going through this right now.      Vent away.

[movingforward]

What about replacing carpet with hardwood flooring (at least in certain areas).  This would probably be better for pets.  My new place only has carpeting in the bedroom.  The cat vomited the other night and it sure was a lot easier to clean up, and my guess is it would help with the smell. 

[lexxy703]

I hear you on some of these. My house is too big for me & I hate cleaning it. I have a cat that regularly pukes hairballs so my carpet is stained beyond cleaning. I won't replace it as long as she is alive plus I want hardwood on the main level but can't really afford it.

I try not to obsess about it & just ignore. Vodka helps

[raeoflyte]

For the stinky dog issue replace the carpet right away with vinyl. I swear it will make your life so, so, so much better right away. Dh is a vet tech. Until the last year I lived with 4 dogs and 4 cats with varying levels of behavioral and medical issues. I sooooooo get it. Ripping out the carpet and going for an easy clean up option will reduce stink, make cleaning easier/more effective and made a huge difference in my life. If you have issues with vertical surfaces in addition to carpet/flooring put in solid (no groove) wainscotting on the walls the dogs are in the most.

Good luck!

[MJ2.0]

Girl, you make way too much money to be living like a college student! You need to feel comfortable at home so make your home comfortable!!! It is worth the peace of mind!

[Jaguar]

Paint the rooms, worst one first, start with that.

[busymom]

  Are you married to DH's brother?  I declare, the more I clean, the more he disorganizes the stuff I've already gone through.  After moving the stuff from Mom's house to our place, I seriously have to begin the process ALL OVER AGAIN of going through everything in the basement.  <Busy share her margarita pitcher with HoneyBBQ>

And, no matter how often we bathe our Bad Boy Puppy, he always rolls in the dirt, and he SMELLS.  My excuse for not replacing the carpet yet, is I frankly think that poor dog is past his expiration date, & one of these days he's going to begin "leaking" on the carpet.  (Like it doesn't smell bad enough from him napping on it.)  We're literally wearing out our carpet with how often we need to shampoo it.

Maybe you & I need to hire someone just to help us throw stuff away.  Just get rid of it.  Hire painters to do the walls in a color we'd like (or, just plain white or off-white), and start over!

[movingforward]

Aug 9, 2016 13:48:07 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Girl, you make way too much money to be living like a college student! You need to feel comfortable at home so make your home comfortable!!! It is worth the peace of mind!

You need to loosen up those purse strings a little bit - LOL!

[movingforward]

This thread is only reinforcing my notion that cats rule and dogs, well...stink

[emma1420]

I get that you don't want to spend the money, but I would really encourage you to.  Perhaps you could start decorating/revamping fund if you don't feel like using your savings.  And, I would encourage you to bite the bullet on a cleaning service.

If you sell and downsize, the frustrations that you have won't go away or will change.  A cleaning service might be a bit cheaper for a 2000 sq ft house, but what's the price difference really going to be?  And a smaller house probably isn't going to be that much faster to clean.  And you will still have the furniture you have now.   Could you tackle replacing the furniture at one room at a time?  I completely understand being cheap, it's why my bedroom, my spare bedroom, and my kitchen all have hand me down furniture, and why the majority of the rest of the house is furnished with Ikea.  But, when it gets to the point where you can't stand looking at it anymore, it's not a bad thing to buy new stuff that you love.

Basically -- spend some money.  I really don't think you will regret it.

In terms of the dogs, I get it.  I had three dogs at one point (I'm down to one now), and one of them had issues distinguishing between the inside and the outside.   Unfortunately, when you get ready to replace the carpet, you may also need to get the subfloor replaced - or at the very least treat it with Kilz.   The smell will stay unless you get it all out. I second the recommendation of putting vinyl down now.  It's pretty cheap and it will cut down on the smell.  

[tallguy]

Aug 9, 2016 13:56:59 GMT -5 movingforward said:

This thread is only reinforcing my notion that cats rule and dogs, well...stink

True, but in addition to stains they also claw up the carpet if doors are closed.  That is why I'm living with old carpet for a while longer. 

[raeoflyte]

Aug 9, 2016 14:06:24 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

Aug 9, 2016 13:56:59 GMT -5 movingforward said:

This thread is only reinforcing my notion that cats rule and dogs, well...stink

Don't get too cocky... my cats are smelly little beasts    

Yeah, I've had just as many issues with smelly cats as I have with stinky dogs.  

[Deleted]

Aug 9, 2016 13:48:07 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Girl, you make way too much money to be living like a college student! You need to feel comfortable at home so make your home comfortable!!! It is worth the peace of mind!

This...

[emma1420]

Aug 9, 2016 14:20:21 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Aug 9, 2016 14:06:24 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

Don't get too cocky... my cats are smelly little beasts    

Yeah, I've had just as many issues with smelly cats as I have with stinky dogs.  

And if you have a cat that pees in your house it's the absolute worst smell to try and get out.  Ten times worse than dog pee.  

[HoneyBBQ]

Aug 9, 2016 13:34:10 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

If you've shopped around, and that is the going rate for cleaning, maybe reconsider splurging for a bit.

If these are service prices, ask around for an independent cleaner.

You'd have to do it to sell anyway, right?

Maybe do it for 3 months, and reassess selling. While the cleaning is taken care of, maybe you could work on the painting?

Good luck.

I'm not planning on selling. I just don't want to pay capital gains tax and I'm there in 3 years of living there practically. 

Aug 9, 2016 13:35:39 GMT -5 movingforward said:

What about replacing carpet with hardwood flooring (at least in certain areas).&nbsp; This would probably be better for pets.&nbsp; My new place only has carpeting in the bedroom.&nbsp; The cat vomited the other night and it sure was a lot easier to clean up, and my guess is it would help with the smell.&nbsp;

Most of the rest of the house is hardwood, thankfully. But in a daylight basement it's still chilly in the winter and I do prefer carpet down there. SIGH. But yes, it's a definite solution.

Aug 9, 2016 13:48:07 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Girl, you make way too much money to be living like a college student! You need to feel comfortable at home so make your home comfortable!!! It is worth the peace of mind!

I know. I know. I know. I mean - I really subscribe to that theory that you can have some of what you want, just not all... I do spend lots of money lol. I guess I just need to rechannel or reassess some of my priorities. I think maybe I need permission?? I dunno. Where is the line between having a nice comfortable house and wanting to emulate a pottery barn catalog? I have a hard time figuring out what is reasonable. 

[Cookies Galore]

Vent away!

A few things off the top of my head:

Get rid of carpet and get hardwood/tile/vinyl. Anything but carpet is good for pets and their various accidents.

Go to Raymour and Flanigan/other furniture store and buy a new living room set. You'll like it and you won't have to spend bazillions of dollars. Our couch and chair was $1200 with delivery. Target and Ikea have nice, affordable home decor. Even Home Goods. I mean, I know you make better money than those places, but ease into the spending, ya know? :-)

Throw things out without your spouse seeing. I do this with hubs, just as his mom and aunts do it to his Nana. What they don't know...

[HoneyBBQ]

Aug 9, 2016 13:04:50 GMT -5 milee said:

It's not about the house.

And I'm really sorry you're going through this right now.      Vent away.

It's not? I mean... I think it is. I mean some of it is about spouse being disorganized and that is frustrating. And some of it is about old smelly dogs, but..... am I not being introspective enough??

[HoneyBBQ]

Aug 9, 2016 13:48:07 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Girl, you make way too much money to be living like a college student! You need to feel comfortable at home so make your home comfortable!!! It is worth the peace of mind!

I know. Million dollar house, dumpster dive furniture. What is wrong with me??

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

We have hardwood in most of the house.  The dog promptly jumped onto the couch and before i could yell "NO!"  barfed all over it.

Then got off the couch and proceeded to barf her way around the living room.   Couldn't just puke in ONE area .. nope when we got done I counted 11 individual piles of puke.

At least the children have the decency to barf in the toilet.

We just got a new couch and I am so paranoid about it.  We got a two year service warranty they will come clean it for no charge.   It was worth the extra money with two kids and two dogs.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Raze the whole place. Scoop it all into a huge dumpster. Build a tiny house with a rubber interior that you can hose down periodically. Buy new furniture to fit into tiny house. Problems solved.

[HoneyBBQ]

Aug 9, 2016 14:02:31 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

OK, here's my advice.

First, get a good cleaner.  I have some people, they speak Portugese, but do a great job, are very reliable and very fair.

Second, hire DA burns to come through a do a number on your carpets.  they will make a MASSIVE improvement for a few hundred bucks

work your way to a reduced quantity of dogs. (I'm on the same journey with cats)

when you have one tidier kid (which you should as she get a little older) I would

1. Throw your furniture away

2. have the carpets replaced - I've had good luck with carpet cents

3. deep clean the whole house (even consider the stupid "duct" cleaning as a one time thing to get some of the funk out)

3. hire someone to paint the whole interior over the course of a week while you guys are gone (sorry, no referral)

4. put in all new furniture

5. continue with having the cleaners come weekly

I'm definitely on the 'no replacement' schedule with the dogs. Before I had DD I did dog rescue and that was really important to me in the environment like St Louis where there was a huge huge cultural and society problem with abandoned dogs that I couldn't ignore. In Seattle, dogs are like children - -actually more like spoiled brat children. So the need is not so great.

I should be down to 1 dog in the next few years. The really old dog I have had forever and love him but he's had a good life and it's almost time for him. The other dog is my running partner and I've had her since she was 6 weeks old. She's going to break my heart when she dies. I hope I don't replace her. *tears*

The other thing is how do you even get rid of crappy furniture I can imagine some of it would disappear from the street corner but literally I need one of those 50000 gallon dumpsters outside me house. Oh boy the neighbors would love me. If I don't want it, not sure anyone else will either.

I actually did look on a FB group and found a local woman who will apparently clean for $20 an hour. Spouse said she can live with us full time for $20 LOL. So hopefully she will work out.

[HoneyBBQ]

Aug 9, 2016 14:37:59 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Vent away!

A few things off the top of my head:

Get rid of carpet and get hardwood/tile/vinyl. Anything but carpet is good for pets and their various accidents.

Go to Raymour and Flanigan/other furniture store and buy a new living room set. You'll like it and you won't have to spend bazillions of dollars. Our couch and chair was $1200 with delivery. Target and Ikea have nice, affordable home decor. Even Home Goods. I mean, I know you make better money than those places, but ease into the spending, ya know? :-)

Throw things out without your spouse seeing. I do this with hubs, just as his mom and aunts do it to his Nana. What they don't know...

LOL!!!

I worry because H is like super sentimental. And honestly as long as he keeps his shit in his den I don't worry. The garage we need to work on though... for sure. 

I also have too many damn hobbies that fill up lots of the garage. That is another one of my issues. I ski bike hike run triathlete camp backpack swim ice hockey etc etc and it just goes on and on. 

[justme]

Aug 9, 2016 14:37:00 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

Aug 9, 2016 13:34:10 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

If you've shopped around, and that is the going rate for cleaning, maybe reconsider splurging for a bit.

If these are service prices, ask around for an independent cleaner.

You'd have to do it to sell anyway, right?

Maybe do it for 3 months, and reassess selling. While the cleaning is taken care of, maybe you could work on the painting?

Good luck.

I'm not planning on selling. I just don't want to pay capital gains tax and I'm there in 3 years of living there practically. 

Aug 9, 2016 13:35:39 GMT -5 movingforward said:

What about replacing carpet with hardwood flooring (at least in certain areas).&nbsp; This would probably be better for pets.&nbsp; My new place only has carpeting in the bedroom.&nbsp; The cat vomited the other night and it sure was a lot easier to clean up, and my guess is it would help with the smell.&nbsp;

Most of the rest of the house is hardwood, thankfully. But in a daylight basement it's still chilly in the winter and I do prefer carpet down there. SIGH. But yes, it's a definite solution.

Aug 9, 2016 13:48:07 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Girl, you make way too much money to be living like a college student! You need to feel comfortable at home so make your home comfortable!!! It is worth the peace of mind!

I know. I know. I know. I mean - I really subscribe to that theory that you can have some of what you want, just not all... I do spend lots of money lol. I guess I just need to rechannel or reassess some of my priorities. I think maybe I need permission?? I dunno. Where is the line between having a nice comfortable house and wanting to emulate a pottery barn catalog? I have a hard time figuring out what is reasonable. 

The line is that point where you literally have the entire catalog in your house. A la Rachel and Phoebe's place in friends.

Or, in real life the line is Carl. Once you start thinking man I sound like Carl, you know you've crossed into the pottery barn gates of heaven/hell. :-p

[HoneyBBQ]

Aug 9, 2016 14:40:38 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

We have hardwood in most of the house.  The dog promptly jumped onto the couch and before i could yell "NO!"  barfed all over it.

Then got off the couch and proceeded to barf her way around the living room.   Couldn't just puke in ONE area .. nope when we got done I counted 11 individual piles of puke.

At least the children have the decency to barf in the toilet.

We just got a new couch and I am so paranoid about it.  We got a two year service warranty they will come clean it for no charge.   It was worth the extra money with two kids and two dogs.

We actually DID buy a new couch last year from JCPenney. It goes something like this:

- previous futon (H bought at garage sale) got peed on once too many times by dog

- get new couch, put various barriers on couch (tote bins, laundry baskets, etc) to prevent dog from getting on new couch

- dog figures out how to pull down one of the barriers, promptly pees on couch

- we put couch in back yard and hose it down and pray for bright sunshine (not likely in Seattle)

- couch develops huge hole in side for some reason exactly 1 week after warranty is over

This is why I can't have nice things.

[HoneyBBQ]

And thank you to everyone responding. I know I sound like a ridiculous brat. I just struggle. 

[WholeLottaNothin]

Maybe get cheap new carpet until the dogs pass away and then replace that with nicer carpet at that time? I might wait on the new furniture for the same reason. If you can get someone to help with cleaning, then you could focus on the painting more. I couldn't live with yellow everywhere either, though my five year old would love it. His favorite color is yellow.

[busymom]

Aug 9, 2016 14:50:52 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

Aug 9, 2016 14:44:31 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

I'm definitely on the 'no replacement' schedule with the dogs. Before I had DD I did dog rescue and that was really important to me in the environment like St Louis where there was a huge huge cultural and society problem with abandoned dogs that I couldn't ignore. In Seattle, dogs are like children - -actually more like spoiled brat children. So the need is not so great.

I should be down to 1 dog in the next few years. The really old dog I have had forever and love him but he's had a good life and it's almost time for him. The other dog is my running partner and I've had her since she was 6 weeks old. She's going to break my heart when she dies. I hope I don't replace her. *tears*

The other thing is how do you even get rid of crappy furniture I can imagine some of it would disappear from the street corner but literally I need one of those 50000 gallon dumpsters outside me house. Oh boy the neighbors would love me. If I don't want it, not sure anyone else will either.

I actually did look on a FB group and found a local woman who will apparently clean for $20 an hour. Spouse said she can live with us full time for $20 LOL. So hopefully she will work out.

Call the 1800gotjunk guys.  They are wonderful.   We use them about once every 6 months for all of the weird shit that's too big for the garbage bin and we don't want to make a special run for.   They come and get it and take it way.  Did I mention they are wonderful?  

  Yes!  I used that company to haul away the furniture from Mom's house that was in no condition to donate or sell.  Those guys were GREAT!