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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2016 11:13:58 GMT -5
Interesting. I've never had a graduation that wasn't A-Z nor been to one that wasn't A-Z and I've been to quite a lot. Either way same concept. The last person shouldn't have to sit through it all and have to be considerate. Everyone should have to be just as considerate of their classmates from the first to the last one. I have also never been to an alphabetical graduation. You write your name on a card and hand it to the person announcing the names just before you walk across the stage. So what do they hand you ? A generic folder?
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jun 18, 2016 11:26:08 GMT -5
At my mom's college graduation, you walked off the stage and exited. They got a generic thing, diploma to come later. I think they were in A-Z order by degree. We did cheer because her finishing this degree was a long time in the making and 3 different schools.
And we were going to celebrate if it killed us. Grandpa (her dad) passed away about a month before the graduation. Should have worn my waterproof mascara that day. Life's not fair but damnit he should have been there to see that.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 18, 2016 11:35:26 GMT -5
Regardless of whether your mom can see you on a stage, if other people are talking, if other people are there/not there... you still graduated. This is not about graduating. This is about some people having an idea of what a "proper" ceremony commemorating graduation is. And apparently their vision requires other strangers to not only participate, but to behave in certain ways. If that's the case, then again, the best solution is to design a ceremony that's brief and interesting as a compromise for others participating. Or, you can clutch your pearls when others decide not to participate in the way you want them to. There's still ruining that special moment for their parent that they'll never get back. I'm sorry but their discomfort will go away...That parent will NEVER have the chance to see their kid get their diploma at a high school graduation again. People need to be considerate of others. Other people don't "need" to do anything to appease your mom and there is no consensus on what is "considerate" in this case. Part of being considerate of others is realizing that not everybody has the same dreams, ideas, goals and opinions on things. It's a dangerous thing to place such importance on something so outside your control and for which you know others don't necessarily share your views. Hoping that the 600+ other students and all their family members have the exact same idea as you do about what constitutes a proper graduation ceremony is either naïve, optimistic or flat out rude (because you realize they don't agree and you think it's OK to force them.) If the moment is so special for you, you need to either enlist the cooperation of others - which might mean a short, interesting ceremony in a different format - or you need to have a private celebration so you can ensure you only include like-minded people. Or you can stop being melodramatic about it and just roll with whatever happens. It might be noisy, there might be other people walking around, you might not even see all of it... your discomfort will go away.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 18, 2016 11:54:24 GMT -5
I have also never been to an alphabetical graduation. You write your name on a card and hand it to the person announcing the names just before you walk across the stage. So what do they hand you ? A generic folder? We got the binder for our diploma as we walked across the stage. You got your actual diploma after the ceremony. This was to make sure you turned in your cap and gown. When you handed it in you got your diploma. My HS graduation was alphabetical. So was IWCC. IWCC I received my actual degree on stage. I would have skipped it but as the first to go to college it was a huge deal for my family. Longest three hours of my life. I skipped Simpson. I'd just come back from Borneo and had zero desire to sit thru a graduation ceremony. I got my degree in the mail.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Jun 18, 2016 12:22:57 GMT -5
I have also never been to an alphabetical graduation. You write your name on a card and hand it to the person announcing the names just before you walk across the stage. So what do they hand you ? A generic folder? Yes. Diplomas are mailed later.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 18, 2016 12:28:00 GMT -5
So what do they hand you ? A generic folder? Yes. Diplomas are mailed later. That's how my college/grad school was. Though it wasn't a totally generic folder. It was a nice (probably faux) leather portfolio with a nice cloth interior with cloth corners to suit your diploma in and the top was a drawing of one of the iconic scenes at our school. If you didn't walk you didn't get that. Which it was a pretty nice place to store your diploma, though I framed mine pretty quickly after receiving them.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jun 18, 2016 15:17:08 GMT -5
There's still ruining that special moment for their parent that they'll never get back. I'm sorry but their discomfort will go away...That parent will NEVER have the chance to see their kid get their diploma at a high school graduation again. People need to be considerate of others. Other people don't "need" to do anything to appease your mom and there is no consensus on what is "considerate" in this case. Part of being considerate of others is realizing that not everybody has the same dreams, ideas, goals and opinions on things. It's a dangerous thing to place such importance on something so outside your control and for which you know others don't necessarily share your views. Hoping that the 600+ other students and all their family members have the exact same idea as you do about what constitutes a proper graduation ceremony is either naïve, optimistic or flat out rude (because you realize they don't agree and you think it's OK to force them.) If the moment is so special for you, you need to either enlist the cooperation of others - which might mean a short, interesting ceremony in a different format - or you need to have a private celebration so you can ensure you only include like-minded people. Or you can stop being melodramatic about it and just roll with whatever happens. It might be noisy, there might be other people walking around, you might not even see all of it... your discomfort will go away. You realize that everything you're arguing can be used to counter your own argument, right? If you think graduation ceremonies are too long, just don't go instead of finding ways to make them shorter. Not everyone cares about your feelings - nor should they - and your discomfort of having to sit still for 3 hours will go away eventually. I mean yeah, they can cut out at least half the speeches that are made at graduations (seriously, who cares about what the principal/superintendent/val/sal have to say? No one is listening!), but you're an adult. You should be able to sit still for 2-3 hours for something that may be important to your kid and his peers. Or bring a coloring book or games or something. Or a margarita in a Big Gulp.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 18, 2016 19:03:41 GMT -5
Both my high school and college graduations were alphabetical and beyond boring for even me. In our family, my mom's side of the family made a big deal of graduations and I had been to so many boring graduations by the time I graduated, I wished I didn't have to attend. Mine was worse than my cousin's graduations because they attended small, rural high schools. My class was over 500 people.
My Simpson graduation was much smaller. Maybe 200 people. However, plans to have it outside where more people could attended got changed due to a thunderstorm as the graduates were about to walk across the campus. That delayed the ceremony while it was moved indoors. It was so hot and humid in there that I just wanted it over and to get to the party at my parents' house, which was air conditioned. We knew there wasn't a lot of room for guests at my college graduation, so everybody was at the house waiting for me.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jun 18, 2016 19:57:36 GMT -5
I wonder if a survey of the teaching staff could have been taken before the ceremony and the action described, how many would have correctly picked who would do it. Bet it would be a high percentage.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 19, 2016 1:09:43 GMT -5
going viral has jumped the shark. A highschool girl walking has capture the attention of the American people? can we just stop it already? as an aside, on a scale of one to ten how old and grumpy do I sound? As soon as you stop bringing girls to this world Arch! Lol
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 19, 2016 1:15:40 GMT -5
I saw this posted a few places, and this girl is getting attention, but this is just plain rude! www.yahoo.com/news/cap-gone-teen-causes-social-185600455.htmlPlus if they are doing it alphabetically, all those poor people whose names begin with Z have been last in everything their entire life! And she seems to be proud that she made it to Applebees before the rest of the crowd. I was shocked at my son's fiance's graduation a couple years ago. It was the May graduation at a large 20,000 student state university held in the football stadium. I had to get leave my house at 4am and drive 4 hours (there were NO hotel rooms in the small college town even though I tried to book 3 months in advance) to get there, and I was certainly going to stay until the end. There were graduates arriving late and leaving early. The other ones I have attended have been in the basketball stadium and I did not see this so much. I wish whole world had this as a biggest problem and there were no starvation and nuclear treats and no terrorism and only we would talk about kids with names starting with Z getting called last before kids starting with A's. Wouldn't that be heavenly nice? And all of us dancing holding hands in one big circle Around the world... Geez! Get a grip already!!!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 19, 2016 1:20:19 GMT -5
We all have cell phones...so go get a dinner nearby before your kid is texting you 'I am going in 10min' so you can pay and not forget to tip the waiter...or you can skip the tipping due to the huge stress because your graduate haven't eaten yet...
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 19, 2016 7:41:33 GMT -5
I saw this posted a few places, and this girl is getting attention, but this is just plain rude! www.yahoo.com/news/cap-gone-teen-causes-social-185600455.htmlPlus if they are doing it alphabetically, all those poor people whose names begin with Z have been last in everything their entire life! And she seems to be proud that she made it to Applebees before the rest of the crowd. I was shocked at my son's fiance's graduation a couple years ago. It was the May graduation at a large 20,000 student state university held in the football stadium. I had to get leave my house at 4am and drive 4 hours (there were NO hotel rooms in the small college town even though I tried to book 3 months in advance) to get there, and I was certainly going to stay until the end. There were graduates arriving late and leaving early. The other ones I have attended have been in the basketball stadium and I did not see this so much. I wish whole world had this as a biggest problem and there were no starvation and nuclear treats and no terrorism and only we would talk about kids with names starting with Z getting called last before kids starting with A's. Wouldn't that be heavenly nice? And all of us dancing holding hands in one big circle Around the world...Geez! Get a grip already!!! Only if I had dead on proof that the person whose hands I'm holding know how to use toilet paper
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jun 19, 2016 7:58:37 GMT -5
I still don't understand why it would matter one iota if some random person sat there while your name or your child's name was called. If a person knew you and felt it was worth sitting through the ceremony, they'd stay. But why would you care if someone who you may or may not know and may or may not care about stays or goes? If it's just about random bodies packing the seats to watch you in all your glory, we should just pay homeless people to fill the seats and clap uproariously for everybody, then you'd feel validated and nobody has to suffer without just compensation. I detect a little bit of - I suffered so you should, too - in the posts where people want to make sure that everybody has to sit through this... The reason it is rude is because it distracts from the other graduates especially the person right after. I didn't want the video, but IME it normally goes like this, grad J gets diploma and goes back to seat and gets stuff and walks out in front of everyone. It would be fine if they were invisible, but I sat behind one who did this once and it caused me not to be able to actually see DH walk. I only knew it was him because I heard his name over the loud speaker. And for the record she was getting her PhD. Apparently manners wasn't part of her curriculum. The same thing happen with cheering. People always make a big cry that it is not a big deal but cheering at one student's name keeps everyone from hearing the next student or students names. People should go or not if they want. I would never tell someone they "have" to go, but if you do decide it is important enough to go, what you have to do is be respectful of all the others and not do something that would make it so they and their families don't get the same experience out of it.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 19, 2016 20:45:11 GMT -5
I wish whole world had this as a biggest problem and there were no starvation and nuclear treats and no terrorism and only we would talk about kids with names starting with Z getting called last before kids starting with A's. Wouldn't that be heavenly nice? And all of us dancing holding hands in one big circle Around the world...Geez! Get a grip already!!! Only if I had dead on proof that the person whose hands I'm holding know how to use toilet paper Very funny! NOT. No sense...
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Jun 19, 2016 22:18:27 GMT -5
I saw this posted a few places, and this girl is getting attention, but this is just plain rude! www.yahoo.com/news/cap-gone-teen-causes-social-185600455.htmlPlus if they are doing it alphabetically, all those poor people whose names begin with Z have been last in everything their entire life! And she seems to be proud that she made it to Applebees before the rest of the crowd. I agree that this is rude - the girl obviously has no intention of staying to witness/honor any of her friends as they graduate, too. My kids go to graduation as much for their friends as for themselves and their families. We've been to more than our share of long ceremonies, both over the years and in the past month or so for DS4's senior year. Those who attend the awards ceremonies applaud for every award given, and later congratulate students they know. Most dress up for the awards (though a few don't, mostly younger). This is one of the best parts of life in a small, out-of-mainstream town - everyone knows nearly everyone else, and peer pressure seems to lean towards good manners and friendliness. I see the difference from the 'burb I grew up in, and where my sibs' kids are now growing up - easy anonymity in the crowd, rude behavior because better behavior isn't modeled or expected. There is a small subset of families that bugout of concerts early, after "their kid's" ensemble is done. They tend to be on the less successful end of the spectrum all around. I think it's due to shortsightedness - they get theirs and leave, but they miss out on the rest of it, and so do their kids. For several years, the early leavers missed the best part if the orchestra was doing a "rock opera" for an alternative genre segment. The families never knew what they missed, and the younger kids never got inspired by the opportunity to play "cool music" with a light show in HS.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 20, 2016 7:05:58 GMT -5
Leaving early to go to Applebee's , I just don't get that.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 20, 2016 9:20:34 GMT -5
I have also never been to an alphabetical graduation. You write your name on a card and hand it to the person announcing the names just before you walk across the stage. So what do they hand you ? A generic folder? Yes - or in one case, a rolled up piece of paper with a bow on it. The paper said "Congrats" and then a bunch of marketing bullshit about the great institution that I just graduated from. The only person that ever handed either me or my husband a diploma was a postal worker.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 20, 2016 9:30:05 GMT -5
I've always been at the back of the alphabet. If I had a choice about staying or going, that'd be nice. I always got the lousy textbooks too.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jun 20, 2016 9:45:38 GMT -5
College graduations I have attended in the last several years had very short speeches, under 10 minutes. Most of the time was spent with graduates walking up to get diplomas. 3 of the 4 I have attended have been under 2 hours. 1 was 3 hours. Next year will be the final one for my kids, and will likely be the longest, but I will jump for joy at the end!
The college ones had the graduates in groups by the school you were graduating from (liberal arts, science, nursing, etc). You have a piece of paper with your name and it is called and you walk across the stage. It would be a logistical nightmare to try to verify that all were actually graduates and then receive the correct diploma. In a large graduation, it can be hard to even pick out the person you are there for.
You are there to honor the graduate, but if you don't want to sit through it, don't attend. Just have a private party, you can even dress up the graduate and take pictures if you want.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jun 20, 2016 11:15:39 GMT -5
I didn't even get my college diploma because we had to pay for it. Something like $80. Like I just gave you all a shitload of money for 4 years and you want me to buy my diploma? Newwwwwwp.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 20, 2016 11:26:30 GMT -5
I had to go to graduation from both college and law school to get my diploma. they gave it to you right there on stage. no ceremony = no diploma.
you needed special permission not to attend the ceremony.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jun 20, 2016 11:36:26 GMT -5
I had to go to graduation from both college and law school to get my diploma. they gave it to you right there on stage. no ceremony = no diploma.
you needed special permission not to attend the ceremony. You mean getting the piece of paper. You still would have been eligible to take the bar exam without it, right?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 20, 2016 11:39:06 GMT -5
I don't understand why she or anyone would rush to go to Applebee's. For bourbon steak! YUMMmmm
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 20, 2016 12:51:16 GMT -5
I had to go to graduation from both college and law school to get my diploma. they gave it to you right there on stage. no ceremony = no diploma.
you needed special permission not to attend the ceremony. You mean getting the piece of paper. You still would have been eligible to take the bar exam without it, right? Get the piece of paper. But you have to have the paper to be admitted to the bar in NY B
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jun 20, 2016 13:42:32 GMT -5
You mean getting the piece of paper. You still would have been eligible to take the bar exam without it, right? Get the piece of paper. But you have to have the paper to be admitted to the bar in NY B Wow. I have had to submit transcripts which show I was awarded my degree but never my flowery looking diploma paper.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 20, 2016 13:54:34 GMT -5
Get the piece of paper. But you have to have the paper to be admitted to the bar in NY B Wow. I have had to submit transcripts which show I was awarded my degree but never my flowery looking diploma paper. I'm not sure where my flowery looking diploma papers even are.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2016 14:13:13 GMT -5
I have my Masters because its freaking huge. But i'm not sure where the others are? I've shown the masters one once... they wanted to se your HS one in order to homeschool and i was like, will this do? Other than that i dont know that i ever showed it? Some people have their small laminated cards for HS diploma... ?
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jun 20, 2016 15:05:03 GMT -5
Gonna be honest here - I really don't care if your mom would have been livid. And why should someone care what your mom thinks? After all, she doesn't care about what they think or their comfort... And that's the crux of the issue. What's important or not important varies by person. Either come up with something most people can compromise on or face the natural consequences, like people walking out. How about getting involved with the kids school starting to work on this in his/her freshman year? If enough parents get together this can and will be changed such that all students (independent of the first letter of their last name) will be shown the same respect.
Someone asked Sroo what her school would have done if the student hadn't shown up for graduation? My question is, why not put the same penalty on those who did not have the courtesy staying until the end.
And yes Milee, I agree with you 3-4 hours is far too long --- but that needs to be worked on before a ceremony not by showing disrespect
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Jun 20, 2016 18:58:54 GMT -5
They could do a shorter way like have groups, first students and speeches then group grads by 1/3 or 1/4th of the class with short intermission to shuffle people in and out. So if your grad is in group 2 you can wait outside until students have speeches then students who aren't in group one can come out and family of group one go in, then after group one intermission and group two enters as group 1 leaves. You could have smaller venues and only those who want to see 4 hours need to sit for 4 hours. when the z group is done the a group is out of Applebees already. My high school class was under 40 students lined up by height boys and girls matched by height so tallest two then next tallest down to shortest boy and shortest girl. It was 50 years ago don't remember how long it took. Skipped all college graduations.
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