Bonny
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Post by Bonny on May 27, 2016 9:36:52 GMT -5
This is a thread inspired from the "Elderly Parents" thread.
When I had my conversation with MIL's sister, Sister stated that I was the new scape goat because DH listens to me and that MIL was envious of our lifestyle.
Of course that comment made me laugh as I am into week 8 of living out of a suitcase and week 5 of sleeping on a thermarest and sleeping bag. Yep, it's a glamorous life being a LL, cleaning, repairing and painting after other people.
MIL has had a very interesting life being at a high government level and traveling to interesting parts of the world. I've mentioned before she's got a federal pension of about $120k year plus between RMDs and investments another $30k/yr. And she's jealous of us/me?
I know she's not well and for whatever reason is really bitter and angry about life. But Sister's comment hit me by surprise.
Share a jealousy story of your own that left you baffled.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 27, 2016 9:52:11 GMT -5
Well, this one is about me.
I'm totally jealous that BIL and SIL are having a kid. That pretty much makes them perfect, and us, well, not so much. anymore.
Which is baffling, because we really do have quite a good life.
But, it's not a life where we have it all: we do not have three degrees each, are not dual high level careers, a have a nice fancy large house, kids, time to really take care of ourselves, etc.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 27, 2016 10:14:14 GMT -5
I'm jealous when I see my friends with their spouses. I feel cheated. Yes, I'm happy that they're happy but I'm jealous because I want to be happy with my spouse, too.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on May 27, 2016 10:17:17 GMT -5
A couple of years ago my mom and siblings were very into Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Apparently right after Christmas, my (single) brother told my mom he knew just how Rob felt because Kim had Kanye and Kourtney had Scott and poor Rob was all alone. It was sad but funny. I do hope he finds someone soon and that she treats him well.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on May 27, 2016 10:28:11 GMT -5
I'm kinda jealous of the families that seem organized and together. We bounce from one thing to the next.
I do realize there are tradeoffs and I'd probably have to give something else up (like the ability to "run away" with dh and the kids for a weekend) but getting and staying organized. Ooohhh.
My MIL admitted to be jealous of my mom, back when dd was born. I think she's over most of it now but I do try to keep it in the back of my mind when I'm planning stuff.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on May 27, 2016 10:56:31 GMT -5
I'm jealous of people that get all kinds of help with their kids/babysitting from their parents so they can have regular date nights/AKA a life. I'm jealous that my brother gets all kinds of praise and concern (monetarily and otherwise) from my mother when he owns a boat, his house outright, goes off fishing most of the summer, stays in hotels and camps with the kids all the time, and hardly ever does anything to help her out. He's always too busy with that shit to take over whenever I want to go out and do anything. It's been 4 years since our last real (other than a 2 or 3 day weekend) vacation. I have to be there to help my mother at least 360 days/year. At least. Actually, I'm jealous a lot about other stuff, but I'm working on it. I decided that I have no right to be jealous of someone unless I'm working at least as hard as they are. (It works right now--now that I don't have co-workers! Not so much when I was working. )
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2016 11:05:33 GMT -5
People tell me my sister is jealous of me and that is why she is so rude to me.
I don't know why she would be jealous. Her house is 3x bigger than mine. She lives far enough away so she doesn't have to help with Dad.
I chose not to get pregnant as a teenager. I chose to continue my education and get a bachelor's degree. I chose to never have children. I chose to live in my hometown. I chose to build a small house that I could afford and pay off.
I never thought someone would hate me for those decisions.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on May 27, 2016 11:26:27 GMT -5
Well, this one is about me. I'm totally jealous that BIL and SIL are having a kid. That pretty much makes them perfect, and us, well, not so much. anymore. Which is baffling, because we really do have quite a good life. But, it's not a life where we have it all: we do not have three degrees each, are not dual high level careers, a have a nice fancy large house, kids, time to really take care of ourselves, etc. Wow. That's exactly a situation we are facing, but from the opposite side. I love my BIL and his wife, my SIL, we get on great. But its so obvious SIL is so jealous of the fact that we are miles ahead of them. I am not going to beat you up for how you feel, they are your emotions and perfectly valid from your standpoint. But its all ultimately choice you know You chose to have a stay at home parent lifestyle, just like my BIL/SIL. There are bound to be differences. Easier to accept the fact and move on.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on May 27, 2016 11:32:16 GMT -5
I am freaking jealous of everyone that is pregnant
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on May 27, 2016 11:37:15 GMT -5
People tell me my sister is jealous of me and that is why she is so rude to me.
I don't know why she would be jealous. Her house is 3x bigger than mine. She lives far enough away so she doesn't have to help with Dad.
I chose not to get pregnant as a teenager. I chose to continue my education and get a bachelor's degree. I chose to never have children. I chose to live in my hometown. I chose to build a small house that I could afford and pay off.
I never thought someone would hate me for those decisions.
I kind of have this situation going on as well with my brother.
MIL made a snarky comment about how I'm so lucky. Well in fact I AM lucky but I also have worked very hard.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on May 27, 2016 11:45:01 GMT -5
I am freaking jealous of everyone that is pregnant Awww....
I can't remember, have you guys looked into adoption? There must be a ton of Haitian babies who would love to live with you guys.
Funny story; my first BFF couldn't have kids so started adopting babies from the family court system. She wound up with four. Sadly her second husband died suddenly of a heart attack at age 39 but one of his friends wound up marrying her about a year later...with his three kids...and within a year she got pregnant for the first time at age 40...at the same time his 16 year old daughter got pregnant.
My friend said she was living the Mormon stereotype; two generations pregnant at the same time!
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on May 27, 2016 11:56:28 GMT -5
My mom has admitted that she is jealous of her children because we got to go to college. They were too poor. There was no financial aid back then. She is also jealous that I got to play sports. Back in the 1950's, girls didn't do athletic stuff. It was frowned on.
My brother told me he's jealous that I have a grandma nearby that takes good care of my kids.
Jealous seems like such a harsh word on those situations. Maybe envious is better?
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on May 27, 2016 11:57:12 GMT -5
People tell me my sister is jealous of me and that is why she is so rude to me.
I don't know why she would be jealous. Her house is 3x bigger than mine. She lives far enough away so she doesn't have to help with Dad.
I chose not to get pregnant as a teenager. I chose to continue my education and get a bachelor's degree. I chose to never have children. I chose to live in my hometown. I chose to build a small house that I could afford and pay off.
I never thought someone would hate me for those decisions.
Isn't it interesting how people who have made poor decisions are so often jealous of and resent people who have made better decisions?
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 27, 2016 12:00:46 GMT -5
I am jealous of non accountants.
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Deleted
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Jealousy
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2016 12:04:04 GMT -5
People tell me my sister is jealous of me and that is why she is so rude to me.
I don't know why she would be jealous. Her house is 3x bigger than mine. She lives far enough away so she doesn't have to help with Dad.
I chose not to get pregnant as a teenager. I chose to continue my education and get a bachelor's degree. I chose to never have children. I chose to live in my hometown. I chose to build a small house that I could afford and pay off.
I never thought someone would hate me for those decisions.
Isn't it interesting how people who have made poor decisions are so often jealous of and resent people who have made better decisions? What were the better decisions in this situation?
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on May 27, 2016 12:21:17 GMT -5
As I have mentioned gefore, I have a very close family which I love to pieces. But every once in a while when they send me pictures of a family barbecue/outing/get together I am jealous that they can all just meet up and I can't be there. Worst part is that I can't even open my mouth because they would try to spare my feeling and not send pictures anymore so double
ETA: with family (including my kids) on 3 continents there is no fixing this either
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 27, 2016 13:57:04 GMT -5
<abbr title="May 27, 2016 11:26:27 GMT -5" data-timestamp="1464366387000" class="time">May 27, 2016 11:26:27 GMT -5</abbr> swasat said: Wow. That's exactly a situation we are facing, but from the opposite side. I love my BIL and his wife, my SIL, we get on great. But its so obvious SIL is so jealous of the fact that we are miles ahead of them. I am not going to beat you up for how you feel, they are your emotions and perfectly valid from your standpoint. But its all ultimately choice you know You chose to have a stay at home parent lifestyle, just like my BIL/SIL. There are bound to be differences. Easier to accept the fact and move on. I know there are trade offs. I also know things don't always appear as they seem, and only they know the truth about their situation. I don't know that they are "miles" ahead of us, either. In the more visible aspects..yes...it's hard to make the flexibility of being able to retire at 55 (like we can) as nice as the house upgrade that SIL wants. I know there's going to be differences. And for the most part, I am grateful of our choices. I wouldn't want their choices, actually.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on May 27, 2016 14:23:17 GMT -5
I'm jealous of people that get all kinds of help with their kids/babysitting from their parents so they can have regular date nights/AKA a life.I'm jealous that my brother gets all kinds of praise and concern (monetarily and otherwise) from my mother when he owns a boat, his house outright, goes off fishing most of the summer, stays in hotels and camps with the kids all the time, and hardly ever does anything to help her out. He's always too busy with that shit to take over whenever I want to go out and do anything. It's been 4 years since our last real (other than a 2 or 3 day weekend) vacation. I have to be there to help my mother at least 360 days/year. At least. Actually, I'm jealous a lot about other stuff, but I'm working on it. I decided that I have no right to be jealous of someone unless I'm working at least as hard as they are. (It works right now--now that I don't have co-workers! Not so much when I was working. ) So, a family friend's mother died last week at the age of 103. Her mother lived alone, had her wits about her, and went out on her feet ( ). The family friend is 80. She had 80 years with her mother. Mine died when I was 36 and ODS was 6 months old. YDS obviously never even met her. My kids never had a grandmother (DMIL was diagnosed with early-onset dementia before I even married DH). I never had anyone to turn to with parenting questions or concerns, never mind for babysitting. Yup, I am unabashedly jealous of those of you with parents who help out regularly, help out in an emergency, or are even a phone call or Skype away.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on May 27, 2016 14:30:26 GMT -5
At times I'm envious of people who seem to just skate by in life. I'm talking the people who spend a much higher percentage of their income on "fun" stuff while they don't seem to stress or worry much about tomorrow. I realize that sooner or later it catches up to most of them either in the form of a financial disaster or having to work until they die but I'm guessing they're largely less stressed or concerned than me when it comes to personal finances.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on May 27, 2016 14:34:34 GMT -5
My sibling is jealous of me. She thinks my life is so "put together" and that I'm rich and have it all. I don't know that my life is "put together" by any means, but I can see why she thinks that. Stable job, stable marriage, etc. What she misses is all the fights DH and I have that make me want to pound him into sand, the stress of working for a tyrant (in the past, not now), the loneliness of moving every few years for work and not having friends in the new city.
Rich is not even close to how I would describe DH and me. I have students loans from undergrad and law school and our cost of living when up when we moved from siblings city to the big midwest city 2 years ago. I feel like we barely make it every month. But, I can see it from her perspective as well. She's early 30s, finishing up her master's (just finished her bachelor's last year), never had a stable job (though hopefully the education will help that), and has no idea what it means to save for retirement.
My DH tells me that my mom is jealous of me. We don't have kids, so we can travel, move for jobs, whatever, and not have to worry about supporting a family. We also make more than her and my dad did at our ages. My DH thinks she wishes she'd had that life. I don't know that I agree with him on the kids part (LOL), though I do think my mom is envious of the more money part. I know when we were little my parents struggled and when I talk to my mom she says things like "you're so lucky, I wish I could have done that when I was your age."
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milee
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Post by milee on May 27, 2016 14:40:36 GMT -5
I'm jealous of people who don't worry. I'm starting to think I worry too much. I even worry about people who aren't worried about themselves. There have been posters on here who post their plans and even after the board tries to talk them out of something dumb, they still do it. They're not worried, but I am. I still sometimes worry about whatever happened to OneDaySaudiWife.
Pretty sure there's someone feeding the wildlife in the neighborhood. The other day a great egret followed me from the car to the front door. A few minutes later when I opened the door to walk to the car, he was waiting at the door like he was going to walk right into the house. BTW, those things are really tall close up. I talked to him for a little bit - he was standing so close I could have reached out and touched him - and when he didn't leave, I just shut the door. Waited 5 minutes, he was still here. Not normal bird behavior. And the last few times I've grilled there are a pair of adorable little owls that come over and hang out about 10 feet away, whirring/hooting and looking expectant. The first time it happened, I figured it was a coincidence, the second time it was obvious they'd come for the food. But back to the worry - I would love to get close to the wildlife by feeding it but I just can't bring myself to do it because I'd worry that I'd either feed it something that would hurt it or that I'd make it dependent on people... so I don't. Sheesh, I even worry about the wild birds.
So I'm jealous of the people who don't seem to worry about things. It would be nice not to worry.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 27, 2016 14:56:31 GMT -5
My SIL is jealous of DH and I because we haven't had money issues like she and her DH have.
SIL wanted to be a SAHM and had three kids. Her DH made a good salary but they scraped to get by in the big house they bought in the nice neighborhood with good schools. DH and I both worked and things have always been financially easier for us, we only had one DS and so college expenses were 1/3 of what hers were.
SIL always seems to find a way to get a dig in about the 'selfish' women who work rather than being SAHM's. Or when DS bought his new car (a modest compact) she made the comment that she's never bought a brand new car in her life.
I don't respond back to her catty comments, as I want to keep a good relationship in the family, but she made her decisions and DH and I made ours. There are good and bad parts about being a SAHM, but you don't get to whine about the bad parts while enjoying the good ones.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2016 15:04:44 GMT -5
I'm jealous of people who don't worry. I'm starting to think I worry too much. I even worry about people who aren't worried about themselves. There have been posters on here who post their plans and even after the board tries to talk them out of something dumb, they still do it. They're not worried, but I am. I still sometimes worry about whatever happened to OneDaySaudiWife.
Pretty sure there's someone feeding the wildlife in the neighborhood. The other day a great egret followed me from the car to the front door. A few minutes later when I opened the door to walk to the car, he was waiting at the door like he was going to walk right into the house. BTW, those things are really tall close up. I talked to him for a little bit - he was standing so close I could have reached out and touched him - and when he didn't leave, I just shut the door. Waited 5 minutes, he was still here. Not normal bird behavior. And the last few times I've grilled there are a pair of adorable little owls that come over and hang out about 10 feet away, whirring/hooting and looking expectant. The first time it happened, I figured it was a coincidence, the second time it was obvious they'd come for the food. But back to the worry - I would love to get close to the wildlife by feeding it but I just can't bring myself to do it because I'd worry that I'd either feed it something that would hurt it or that I'd make it dependent on people... so I don't. Sheesh, I even worry about the wild birds.
So I'm jealous of the people who don't seem to worry about things. It would be nice not to worry.
I would worry about the egret pecking me. Seriously.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2016 15:05:29 GMT -5
My SIL is jealous of DH and I because we haven't had money issues like she and her DH have.
SIL wanted to be a SAHM and had three kids. Her DH made a good salary but they scraped to get by in the big house they bought in the nice neighborhood with good schools. DH and I both worked and things have always been financially easier for us, we only had one DS and so college expenses were 1/3 of what hers were.
SIL always seems to find a way to get a dig in about the 'selfish' women who work rather than being SAHM's. Or when DS bought his new car (a modest compact) she made the comment that she's never bought a brand new car in her life.
I don't respond back to her catty comments, as I want to keep a good relationship in the family, but she made her decisions and DH and I made ours. There are good and bad parts about being a SAHM, but you don't get to whine about the bad parts while enjoying the good ones.
I can only take so many catty comments before I blow my top . . . .
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on May 27, 2016 15:05:37 GMT -5
A jealous story of far less importance than some of the ones already told.
Years ago, I had a hairdresser tell me that several of her clients were jealous of my hair. They asked her to make their hair look like mine. She told me that she told them she couldn't and that "God gave Waffle that hair".
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milee
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Post by milee on May 27, 2016 15:16:16 GMT -5
I'm jealous of people who don't worry. I'm starting to think I worry too much. I even worry about people who aren't worried about themselves. There have been posters on here who post their plans and even after the board tries to talk them out of something dumb, they still do it. They're not worried, but I am. I still sometimes worry about whatever happened to OneDaySaudiWife.
Pretty sure there's someone feeding the wildlife in the neighborhood. The other day a great egret followed me from the car to the front door. A few minutes later when I opened the door to walk to the car, he was waiting at the door like he was going to walk right into the house. BTW, those things are really tall close up. I talked to him for a little bit - he was standing so close I could have reached out and touched him - and when he didn't leave, I just shut the door. Waited 5 minutes, he was still here. Not normal bird behavior. And the last few times I've grilled there are a pair of adorable little owls that come over and hang out about 10 feet away, whirring/hooting and looking expectant. The first time it happened, I figured it was a coincidence, the second time it was obvious they'd come for the food. But back to the worry - I would love to get close to the wildlife by feeding it but I just can't bring myself to do it because I'd worry that I'd either feed it something that would hurt it or that I'd make it dependent on people... so I don't. Sheesh, I even worry about the wild birds.
So I'm jealous of the people who don't seem to worry about things. It would be nice not to worry.
I would worry about the egret pecking me. Seriously. After getting over being surprised at how big they are up close, I was more interested with small details about him - he had some really pretty green coloring along his beak/bill and some other details you don't see from far away - to be worried. He was very pretty. But very, very focused on me. Even when I started talking to him. Weird.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on May 27, 2016 15:16:30 GMT -5
I'm jealous of my brother. He got big bright blue eyes and thick dark eyelashes. And gorgeous thick black and wavy hair.
I'm jealous of my sister. She got the slim build and long legs. I, um, didn't.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on May 27, 2016 15:27:29 GMT -5
I am freaking jealous of everyone that is pregnant Awww....
I can't remember, have you guys looked into adoption? There must be a ton of Haitian babies who would love to live with you guys.
Funny story; my first BFF couldn't have kids so started adopting babies from the family court system. She wound up with four. Sadly her second husband died suddenly of a heart attack at age 39 but one of his friends wound up marrying her about a year later...with his three kids...and within a year she got pregnant for the first time at age 40...at the same time his 16 year old daughter got pregnant.
My friend said she was living the Mormon stereotype; two generations pregnant at the same time!
That is the next course of action if IVF does not work.
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justme
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Post by justme on May 27, 2016 16:02:09 GMT -5
I'm jealous* of all you people that don't twitch when people confuse jealous and envious.
:-p
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 27, 2016 16:04:36 GMT -5
I'm jealous* of all you people that don't twitch when people confuse jealous and envious. :-p Hey, it's at least in the same neighborhood. Watching my husband trying to come up with a word and spitting out things I can't even word associate with, that's twitch worthy. Frighteningly, I'm getting better and better at guessing where he's going, even if he's 3 states away with his word choices.
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