Do You Let People Borrow Your Stuff?

[Deleted]

I was reading a cycling forum and a question about loaning bicycles got some interesting responses. Some people would rather loan someone their car than their bike lol. I kind of understand that though.

I don't consider myself selfish, but I am funny about loaning things. Some things I'll loan pretty much anyone without a second thought. Some things, it depends on who's asking and what they want to borrow.

I don't like letting anyone use my car. I'd rather just give them a ride if I can. It's too easy to bust tires and/or bend the wheels on my car if you're not vigilant about avoiding potholes and the streets here have plenty of potholes. I've bent a few myself and it's a PITA taking care of the problem.

I stopped loaning my lawn equipment when I had to go get my hedge trimmers back so I could use them and then had to go buy another cord because they'd cut mine and didn't replace it.

And no, I wouldn't loan my bike to someone that's not "into" bikes. Then again, someone that's into bikes wouldn't want to borrow mine.

On the flip side, I don't ask people to borrow their stuff either. If I need it or want it, I go buy it. Maybe if it was something expensive that I'd only need once to get something done, I might ask (if I could afford to replace it if I broke it lol), but I can't think of what that might be at the moment.

On the other forum, a lot of people seemed to think that people that don't share their personal belongings freely are stingy and materialistic. What do YMers think?

[Anne_in_VA]

Like you, it depends on what it is and who's asking.  If it's someone we know is reliable and will return the item in good shape, then we don't mind.  If someone has borrowed something in the past and didn't return it or it was broken, then no.  

We have borrowed from the kids or other family on occasion, but always make sure we return promptly and in as good or better condition than when borrowed.  

[flamingo]

Not so much, outside of family. I let a friend borrow a suitcase once, and that worked out ok (as in, I got it back in a timely manner, no worse off than it was when I gave it to them). 

I'm finicky about my stuff. So it's not really in my nature to let folks borrow things. 

[HoneyBBQ]

Cyclists are weird people.

My friend offered her 3k+ tri bike to me for a triathlon. I declined. No way do I want that responsibility.

Bikes are really personal, too. With names. Also crotch juice. Enough said.

[midjd]

I don't like borrowing from people. Maybe it's because all the people I know who have stuff worth borrowing are super nitpicky about it (probably a correlation there...) and I live in fear that I'll ruin it and have to replace it anyway. I'd rather just buy whatever it is myself.

Plus I don't like the feeling of being indebted to anyone. We borrowed a generator from our friends down the road when our power went out last month and DH just got around to returning it on Friday. They didn't need it and said we could keep it as long as we wanted, but having it around still made me feel edgy. I have issues. 

I am fine with lending most stuff, although I would be very reluctant to let someone borrow my car unless it was an immediate emergency. I don't even like for DH to drive it. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I don't have anything worth borrowing.

I've let my dad borrow my car before.  He's the only one besides DH I would allow to drive it.

[Deleted]

It depends on what it is.  I don't like loaning my car so the only person I loan it to is my sister when she comes for two weeks in the summer.  It makes me nervous.

I loan dvds, etc. at school.  I try to ask for them back after a week or so because too many times I have been met with a blank stare if I wait too long.  

I didn't allow my son to lend stuff after his stuff was returned broken.  I think that is part of the responsibility of borrowing--if you break it, you replace it.  Most people don't seem to feel that way, though.

I think that's why people don't like to lend stuff.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Something little? Absolutely. Like a book or my roaster or pressure cooker...stuff like that. I'd never let someone borrow my car. Not because I'm selfish, but because I have this fear of them getting into some sort of horrible accident and me getting sued because my insurance didn't cover for whatever reason.  

[sesfw]

it depends on who's asking and what they want to borrow.


Work tools to engineers I have a real  problem with.  They can bring their project to my bench and use the tools there, but I've found engineers have a tendency to forget where things come from.

Never had a problem with neighbors using things and destroying them.  I've had to pick up things from family members but nothing  has been destroyed.

If I have it and someone needs to use it ....... welcome.

Anyone borrowing funds (small amounts) I make it a gift.  If repaid I'm pleasantly surprised.  If not, I don't want an ulcer.  I don't do large amounts under any circumstances, that's what banks are for.

[resolution]

My husband tends to loan his truck out a lot.  I probably seem petty, but when he loans his truck that means he takes my car to work and I am stranded at home all day (I work from home). I don't mind it when people have no other good options, but I don't like being stranded to save someone else a minor inconvenience.

This last time it was for his brother, who has a wife that doesn't work. There was no reason he couldn't take his wife's car and leave her stuck at home instead of borrowing my husband's truck and leaving me stuck at home so she could run around if she felt like it. I discussed this with DH to make sure he doesn't do it again without talking to me first, but I didn't make him take his truck back after he had already committed to it.  I ended up stuck at home for a week while my SIL was able to go to all of her social events.

[gregintenn]

Usually not. You can buy or rent most anything you need, so I can't see why you'd need mine.

[Tiny]

It depends on what it is and who it is. I would NEVER borrow my bike to anyone - it's just too easy to have it stolen (not that anyone would want to borrow it... it's Vintage and um, girly. bikes of all shapes and sizes and states of ride-ability get stolen around here... ) They also might leave it out in the weather (versus putting it in the garage/basement/house while they have it.)

I'm a little more secure about letting family use my car... it's a little harder to steal and can handle being out in the elements. My car is also insured.

Generally, I'll let someone borrow anything I wouldn't feel bad about NOT getting back. I grew up with a 'strict' - if you borrow something you return it! in better shape than you got it if possible.  If you break it or use it all up - you replace it.

I've found that not everyone has that attitude towards 'borrowing' stuff.

After a few VERY disappointing 'borrows' to my SIL... I had to learn to cope with never borrowing stuff out or with learning how to let go because it was gone... forever. She (and her family and my nieces/nephews) have a very "lax" understanding of "borrow" - actually, it's not really 'borrowing' it's being given-- you gave it to them to do what they please with it - there is no return.

When I do borrow out something - if I really really really want it back in working condition - I tell the borrower my expectations - loudly and several times while looking them in the eye (and making sure they aren't inebriated or otherwise mentally impaired).

When borrowing something out - make sure the other person has the SAME definition of 'borrow' that you do.

[milee]

Weirdly mixed attitude about this.

I don't mind anyone driving my car and freely loan it out. Same with tools. It just seems so odd to me that everybody should have to buy their own set since it's rare we all need each tool at the same time. I have 2 stacks of Festool toolboxes in the back of my car and they're stocked to the gills with everything anyone would need to do 99% of anything you'd want to do on a house or boat. From cordless drills to all sockets in metric and SAE - it's there. Probably $2k - $3k worth of stuff and it kills me that it all sits unused most of the time.  So if someone needs something, I'm happy to let them use it.  I do want it back, though, because I use it.  So far, so good.  Even when I've loaned tools to strangers at regattas or beside the road, I've gotten everything that I've loaned out back. 

But I'm very possessive of the two boats I use for racing (one keelboat and one dinghy).  Both have some delicately tuned systems and I like to keep them cleaner and am more protective of small dings than most people.  My friends tease me when I clean with a toothbrush, but there are certain gaps that you need something that fine for.  Anyway, I don't mind loaning my boat if it's someone I know is a good sailor and will return it in the same shape I loaned it, but those people are rare.  The powerboat on the other hand is a nice little Scout, but I don't feel any emotional attachment to it, so even though it's in nice shape I don't mind loaning it out to others and regularly let friends use it to serve as Race Committee on regattas. 

[justme]

Two of my close friends live in the same building as me, we're always borrowing things from each other. I have another bff that I would let her borrow things but she's two hours away so it'd only be things I don't need often. I also let my parents borrow whatever they need, usually jewelry/accessories since they have more of like everything than me. I'd also let my bro borrow most stuff as long as it's not a pain being an hour away for a month or so.

Otherwise I'd probably err on the no side, but I don't have a long list of other people that are close enough to always ask to borrow something.

[wvugurl26]

It depends on the person. My dad and brother are listed drivers on my car insurance. I'm certain more than half of the 11k miles on my car were driven by my brother. Normally I'm also in the car but after my grandpa's funeral he had to drop me at the airport in Ohio and go back to MD. I didn't worry about it.

Most people I have no problem loaning to. Doesn't really happen often but I trust they would take care of whatever it is.

[Apple]

It depends on who and what.  

My parents and I loan/borrow vehicles fairly often.  My pickup has the canopy on, so when I want to haul to the , I might borrow their pickup (I'm thinking about getting rid of the canopy, it's not in great shape or really needed anyway).  They've borrowed my car to have a large enclosed space.  Someone's car might be in the shop, etc, etc.  No big deal.  The worst thing to happen was they drove me to the airport in my car, but stopped for hamburgers on the way home-- a couple weeks later when I got the car back there was a weird smell I had to track down, a piece of onion had fallen on the floor.  Smell went away once I got it out of the car.

I only loan books I don't mind losing forever.  I loaned a book to a friend in 7th grade, I hadn't read it yet, and she took it with her when she moved away.  Never did get to read the book!  Learned my lesson, lol.

My ex-h loaned the vacuum to a neighbor.  It came back covered in something sticky/nasty, smelled horrible, and no longer had suction.  They only had it a few hours!  I had to buy a new one, so don't loan anything like that to someone I don't know well anymore.

[cronewitch]

I seldom borrow or lend things. I have an aversion to borrowing since I was a child. Mom and dad borrowed our grandparents ice chest for camping. We had it a couple of days and the bottom rusted out of this very old ice chest, they had to replace it since they broke it so paid for an ice chest and still didn't own one. Then at 19 in a duplex the neighbor girl with a baby keep borrowing things and not returning anything until I asked for it back, until I started saying no.
I don't mind lending to family, they always return your property. My brother has the post hole digger now until he replaces his deck, the handles are wood and pretty old so he might break it. He is my brother and I don't dig post holes, the post hole digger is kept at my ISOs farm, he might need it, he might own it, I forget who bought it. We can share one post hole digger between 4-5 houses even if it eventually wears out. I only let ISO use my boat, even I won't use them since I don't know what I would be doing, what do you think I keep him for? Now my boat is a cat bed on his farm. Stray cat and 4 kittens live in the boat, they may not enjoy fishing so no using that boat until they are done with it.

[msventoux]

I'm selfish.  I typically don't loan out my stuff. 

It depends on who it is and what I know of their situation though.  Someone needs to borrow my vehicle because they were in an accident that I know wasn't their fault.  Fine.  Someone who has never been in an accident but has had multiple speeding tickets and moving violations?  Nope.   Same with other stuff.  If I know they'll be good stewards of whatever is loaned I'm usually fine with it.  On the other hand, I never ask to borrow from others. 

[Tennesseer]

Only my time and only if it is for a good reason.

[whoisjohngalt]

Hmmmm.....I'll let people borrow stuff that I am prepared not to get back.  I would only borrow things that I am prepared to pay for if I damage /loose it

Car....

I let my husband, then not even a boyfriend, borrow my car after knowing him for a month.  Turned out fine.  I still have that car.

I let my SIL borrow my car for 3 months. NEVER EVER EVER again.  To this day I look back and thank G-d that it didn't turn out worse than it did.  I blame my severe sleep deprivation at that time for such complete lack in judgement.

[toomuchreality]

I no longer loan too many things. I would loan my family pretty much anything. But at this point, I really don't have anything they need to borrow.

I don't really borrow anything either. Mainly because I don't need anything. Also because I don't want the responsibility and because then, I'd feel like I have to loan my stuff out.

Too many times, I've had bad experiences, when I've loaned things out.

About 5 years ago, a neighbor asked to borrow my car. For financial reasons, she no longer has one. I've been with her when she was driving, right after she had smoked a bowl (not good), so I know that would be a strong possibility. I also pretty much know her financial status. So although it was hard, I told her no. Even though my car was an old car, neither she, nor I could afford to replace it, if something happened. She promptly told me that she would replace it, if something did. Really?  I said, "Quite honestly, if you could afford to replace my car, you would have a car of your own." She agreed and has never asked again.   Ugh. 

It was VERY hard for me to learn to say 'no'. It's still hard. But it's harder to replace the good feelings between neighbors, or friends.

[andi9899]

Not usually. Especially large items like my car. My dad is the only one that I would let use it. Thing 1 has driven it a couple of times when I was too impaired to drive them home, Thing 2 is not getting behind the wheel of my car.

[TheOtherMe]

I can't remember the last time I've asked to borrow something.  I would loan my sister or niece my car if it was a true emergency.

I learned about the hazards of loaning books the hard way.  A co-worker and friend wanted to read some books she saw me reading at lunch so I loaned them to her.  After they weren't returned and there was no mention of them, I asked for them back.  She didn't even know which books I had lent her.  Told her my name was in them and I wanted them tomorrow.  I did get them the next day.  She never asked to borrow another book.  The answer would have been no if she had.

I did have a wonderful neighbor and we loaned books back and forth with no problems.

[Deleted]

May 9, 2016 10:19:07 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I don't have anything worth borrowing.

I've let my dad borrow my car before.  He's the only one besides DH I would allow to drive it.

Now that I think about it, I guess I don't have anything worth borrowing anymore either. 

The last think I remember someone borrowing was my watchamacallit that you use to turn the water to your house off at the curb. If they hadn't returned it promptly, I probably would have forgotten all about it. Until I needed it one day, of course. It's one of those things you never think about until the rare moment you're glad you have one.

[Ryan]

I must give off the "I'm not very helpful" vibe because I never have people asking me to borrow anything.  

[Shooby]

  I would let my sister borrow my car.  Or my best friend.  But, other people, no.  And, there are things i would lend out.  It depends on what it is, who is asking , and what do they need it for.

[Deleted]

I loaned my aunt a book to read and a jigsaw puzzle to do.

A few weeks later she asked "can I keep them?"

Ummm . . . . Yeah I guess, but I probably won't "loan" anything to you again.

[zibazinski]

Nope. Did it one time and they "lost" it.

[tloonya]

May 9, 2016 10:53:48 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Something little? Absolutely. Like a book or my roaster or pressure cooker...stuff like that. I'd never let someone borrow my car. Not because I'm selfish, but because I have this fear of them getting into some sort of horrible accident and me getting sued because my insurance didn't cover for whatever reason.  

If people did something to your car - good luck having them admitting it! I don't think it happening. Unless there is a huge damage...

[Deleted]

People are always asking to borrow my camper which drives me nuts.  I hardly ever use it and take meticulous care of it.  The last time my uncle and nephew took it they ripped a couple snaps out and somehow gouged the cabinet doors packing up.