NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 24, 2016 13:56:24 GMT -5
Part of the reason they may not have had a good time is because there were assholes always annoying them - just saying. That was part of what I tried to get thru to DH. He was popular so of course his version of high school is much rosier than mine. You'd think he went to school in Mayberry the way he talks. My point to him he is focusing on the social circles he moved in. If he scratched a little deeper he'd probably have found the same things that he claims make my high school worse than his.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 24, 2016 13:59:25 GMT -5
DH says the same thing. He also claims that there was never a fight, never a pregnant teen and nobody ever used drugs. I call BS that his school was that perfect. My guess is that his district was better at hiding it. Or he wasn't bullied, in a fight, etc. To me, I only have fond memories of high school. I would tell you that bullying and Mean Girls were not issues at our school. But I wasn't bullied (or picked on since bullying to me implies physical contact), had lots of friends, etc. I bet others from my graduating class have different opinions that I do. I believe our experiences color our memories. I generally was not bullied in HS (there were some incidents in JR High) and enjoyed most of HS.
However, I saw bullying. There were pregnant teens and plenty of drugs. It wasn't utopia.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 24, 2016 14:00:56 GMT -5
Part of the reason they may not have had a good time is because there were assholes always annoying them - just saying. I don't know why you think I'm disagreeing with that statement. That was the entire basis of everything I have posted in this thread.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 24, 2016 14:02:40 GMT -5
... I have talked to my daughter since she was itty-bitty about treating others kindly, ... There are always going to be those strange kids that just don't fit in. ... I am thankful that you are talking to your daughter about treating those strange kids kindly, even if they don't fit in (to the box that you have determined is "normal"). I have no doubt she hears you loud and clear. It wasn't my definition of normal. I can't explain what is different or not...but kids know it when they see it.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 24, 2016 14:07:19 GMT -5
Or he wasn't bullied, in a fight, etc. To me, I only have fond memories of high school. I would tell you that bullying and Mean Girls were not issues at our school. But I wasn't bullied (or picked on since bullying to me implies physical contact), had lots of friends, etc. I bet others from my graduating class have different opinions that I do. I believe our experiences color our memories. I generally was not bullied in HS (there were some incidents in JR High) and enjoyed most of HS.
However, I saw bullying. There were pregnant teens and plenty of drugs. It wasn't utopia.
We had pregnant teens. I don't remember heavy drugs but there was a lot of pot. There could have been other stuff but I didn't see it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 24, 2016 14:11:27 GMT -5
I didn't see much other than alcohol and pot, but a few years after HS there was lots of coke and shrooms.
There is now lots of heroin. Pot seems so quaint now.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 24, 2016 14:14:15 GMT -5
I didn't see much other than alcohol and pot, but a few years after HS there was lots of coke and shrooms.
There is now lots of heroin. Pot seems so quaint now. We just had a drug bust locally of kids 18-20 who were selling drugs and their main customers were kids from my daughter's school...ugh
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Mar 24, 2016 14:24:38 GMT -5
Part of the reason they may not have had a good time is because there were assholes always annoying them - just saying. I don't know why you think I'm disagreeing with that statement. That was the entire basis of everything I have posted in this thread. It seems like sometimes you are agreeing.
For me, I didn't really care that some people were jerks, I just wanted to move on and being around them was more of an annoyance not something I dreaded day in and out. I had friends and I liked school work, so I did like going to school. Just a lot of the people were dummies, IMO.
For a lot of other kids, being picked on is more than just an annoyance. It can really damage them. So while I know most kids can't really comprehend that, as adults we should be able to understand how high school could be completely miserable for them, not because they were social freaks but because they were the easy target for being picked on.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 24, 2016 14:53:43 GMT -5
I recall two pregnant girls in high school that I was aware of because one was in the drama department and one had the locker next to me in gym. I'm sure there were more that I didn't notice.
There was A LOT of pot and alcohol. I am not sure about harder drugs I never asked.
DH would swear there wasn't even people who drank at his school. Every single student who ever went there in the history of ever (especially his class!) were complete paragons of virtue.
Meanwhile my school was a wretched hive of scum and villiany because we had all the above stuff.
He's pretty myopic about his high school experience. The district he attended wasn't as big as the one I did but it wasn't so small that he can make the claim that his HS was perfect.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2016 15:02:02 GMT -5
When I was in hs one of the math teachers sold pot, until he was arrested. One of my good friends had a baby in hs. She was one of 3-4 in our class. Heck the valedictorian the year before had a baby. Oh and alcohol everywhere. Barn parties, cabin parties, pool parties, lots of parties, lots of alcohol.
My hs wasn't all bad. It was rural, 7-12. I base most of my middle school observations on teaching, on friends with kids in school, and people pulling ms age kids out to homeschool, and on reading.
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 24, 2016 16:09:05 GMT -5
When I was in hs one of the math teachers sold pot, until he was arrested. One of my good friends had a baby in hs. She was one of 3-4 in our class. Heck the valedictorian the year before had a baby. Oh and alcohol everywhere. Barn parties, cabin parties, pool parties, lots of parties, lots of alcohol. I had several friends who got pregnant in HS. Two became teenage moms - one at age 15 - and the others didn't. Up until a few years ago I felt really sorry for the 15 year old mom since I know that really threw her life off track; she was very smart, very pretty, but ended up not going to college. Although time changes everything and thirty years later I'm a little envious that her kid(s) would be grown and out of the house by now and I still have a 10 year old at home. You know you're old and tired when you look longingly at your teen mom friend and can only see how great it would be to still have experienced your kids but be done with all that by now...
Oh, and going to high school in Florida in the '80s looked a lot like some of the scenes from Miami Vice. Yes, plenty of friends and neighbors not only were dealers but would do "runs" on boats. The high school parties always had lots of alcohol and pot, but also (I didn't realize this was weird until I went away to another state for college) lots of coke. Coke everywhere. I swear some of those houses must have looked like they had a coating of fine, white dust. Heroin was considered nasty because the idea of injecting anything was gross and nobody had heard of Oxy yet. Again, at the time seemed normal but thirty years later I'd be horrified if either of my boys ended up at any of this type of party.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2016 17:43:48 GMT -5
Yes, well, I went to her son's daughter's fifth birthday party last weekend, so, you know there is that too ... And her ex is an ass. If life partner decisions shouldn't be made on an undeveloped brain, they certainly shouldn't be made by a 15 year old one! My parents were teens. My mother turns 60 this year and my sister 40 and mom is not handling it so well
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Mar 24, 2016 18:16:13 GMT -5
This has been an interesting thread to me! I am an extreme introvert, with neurotic! tendencies, and I didn't find middle school to be any harder than any other school years.
My college age son told me that middle school was when he became attuned to the "social strata" and he considers those years to be the ones when he "started figuring out social hierarchy"
My daughter is in middle school now, and so far I am not witnessing anything "more" than before.
I guess my experience has been that growing up is a continuum, and middle school (so far) hasn't caused any "spike" in the overall experience.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2016 18:29:18 GMT -5
What ages are your middle school vonna? Size? I find it interesting also.
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Mar 24, 2016 18:38:35 GMT -5
What ages are your middle school vonna? Size? I find it interesting also. For me, I was bussed to "Middle school 6" and then "Middle school 7" -- each about 1 hour bus rides -- in the mid 70's. About 1000 in each school. For my son, middle school was 5th - 8th, about 800 students total, I think. For my daughter, middle school is 4th-8th, and she is in 5th, about 1000 students total.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Mar 24, 2016 20:44:50 GMT -5
My parents were teens. My mother turns 60 this year and my sister 40 and mom is not handling it so well My mentor had her children in her teens as well. She's 80, now, and told me the worse thing about getting old is watching her sons turn into old men.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 25, 2016 6:43:45 GMT -5
When I was in hs one of the math teachers sold pot, until he was arrested. One of my good friends had a baby in hs. She was one of 3-4 in our class. Heck the valedictorian the year before had a baby. Oh and alcohol everywhere. Barn parties, cabin parties, pool parties, lots of parties, lots of alcohol. I had several friends who got pregnant in HS. Two became teenage moms - one at age 15 - and the others didn't. Up until a few years ago I felt really sorry for the 15 year old mom since I know that really threw her life off track; she was very smart, very pretty, but ended up not going to college. Although time changes everything and thirty years later I'm a little envious that her kid(s) would be grown and out of the house by now and I still have a 10 year old at home. You know you're old and tired when you look longingly at your teen mom friend and can only see how great it would be to still have experienced your kids but be done with all that by now...
I hear you.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Mar 25, 2016 8:55:51 GMT -5
I was thinking the same thing about having kids. People I know who are my age have grandkids that they get to babysit once a week while I am running my 12 year old to band practice and policing his homework. Man babysitting sounds way easier at this point!!
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Mar 25, 2016 12:37:15 GMT -5
I have said that 45 might not be too old to have a newborn but 60 is way too old to have a fifteen year old.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 25, 2016 17:50:24 GMT -5
My DIL's sister had surprise at 43 - thought couldn't get PG - I don't envy her in the least. But to each his own Kinda glad I had mine at 23 and stopped there
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Mar 28, 2016 0:36:47 GMT -5
My parents were teens. My mother turns 60 this year and my sister 40 and mom is not handling it so well My mentor had her children in her teens as well. She's 80, now, and told me the worse thing about getting old is watching her sons turn into old men. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt yanno. Except on this board where math is weird anyway, I am 39. DS2 will turn 34 tomorrow and DS1 will be 38 in two months. they're just not as environmentally aware and into recycling as I am.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 28, 2016 7:04:28 GMT -5
My mentor had her children in her teens as well. She's 80, now, and told me the worse thing about getting old is watching her sons turn into old men. Denisl isn't just a river in Egypt yanno. Except on this board where math is weird anyway, I am 39. DS2 will turn 34 tomorrow and DS1 will be 38 in two months. they're just not as environmentally aware and into recycling as I am. When my son hit 39 he and I were twins
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Mar 28, 2016 10:03:41 GMT -5
Denisl isn't just a river in Egypt yanno. Except on this board where math is weird anyway, I am 39. DS2 will turn 34 tomorrow and DS1 will be 38 in two months. they're just not as environmentally aware and into recycling as I am. When my son hit 39 he and I were twins I found my soulmate
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 30, 2016 9:23:31 GMT -5
Denisl isn't just a river in Egypt yanno. Except on this board where math is weird anyway, I am 39. DS2 will turn 34 tomorrow and DS1 will be 38 in two months. they're just not as environmentally aware and into recycling as I am. When my son hit 39 he and I were twins One of my friends had a good idea. Instead of saying you're ___ years old, you talk about what "Level" you are.
I'm now a Level 45; sounds very badass! Like some sort of Ninja ranking rather than an admission of how old you are.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Mar 30, 2016 9:56:51 GMT -5
My DIL's sister had surprise at 43 - thought couldn't get PG - I don't envy her in the least. But to each his own Kinda glad I had mine at 23 and stopped there I had a good friend who got pregnant at 45 after having ablation surgery, which makes it almost impossible to get pregnant. Not impossible just almost impossible. And she's the one who did. When she had her baby, she had a 23 year old, an 18 year old, a 10 year old and a baby! I an glad I had my 3 kids very close in age (4 years from oldest to youngest). We went through baby phase, kid phase, teenager phase and now we are in the finishing college/first job/getting married phase. I can't image going through each phase 4 separate times.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Mar 30, 2016 10:04:29 GMT -5
When my son hit 39 he and I were twins One of my friends had a good idea. Instead of saying you're ___ years old, you talk about what "Level" you are.
I'm now a Level 45; sounds very badass! Like some sort of Ninja ranking rather than an admission of how old you are.
If you use base 15 numbers you could be 30.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 30, 2016 11:51:37 GMT -5
My DIL's sister had surprise at 43 - thought couldn't get PG - I don't envy her in the least. But to each his own Kinda glad I had mine at 23 and stopped there I had a good friend who got pregnant at 45 after having ablation surgery, which makes it almost impossible to get pregnant. Not impossible just almost impossible. And she's the one who did. When she had her baby, she had a 23 year old, an 18 year old, a 10 year old and a baby! I an glad I had my 3 kids very close in age (4 years from oldest to youngest). We went through baby phase, kid phase, teenager phase and now we are in the finishing college/first job/getting married phase. I can't image going through each phase 4 separate times. Should add that this was her one and only!!! I play faux grandmother though and love it.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Mar 30, 2016 12:22:10 GMT -5
I had a good friend who got pregnant at 45 after having ablation surgery, which makes it almost impossible to get pregnant. Not impossible just almost impossible. And she's the one who did. When she had her baby, she had a 23 year old, an 18 year old, a 10 year old and a baby! I an glad I had my 3 kids very close in age (4 years from oldest to youngest). We went through baby phase, kid phase, teenager phase and now we are in the finishing college/first job/getting married phase. I can't image going through each phase 4 separate times. I couldn't do kids that close. I just could not. I needed to have the previous child be able to articulate their needs and be somewhat self-sufficient (get a drink of water, get a snack, play without me interacting constantly, and use the bathroom somewhat) before another one could be born. I also had to know my kids a little bit more before moving on to the next one. We couldn't handle expenses with kids that close. Braces for #1 ran us 7.5K OOP. I'm hoping we don't have to spend 20K on braces, total, for my three kids. But, that's a real possibility. We couldn't do that in a span of 4-5 years. We live frugally, but not enough to cough up that kind of money in that short of a time frame. And daycare, OMG. Even a nanny gets pretty pricey by the time you pay taxes, wages, etc. Besides, with my threenager and my tween, 2/3rds of my kids are going through the same phase at the same time. SIL is pregnant at 42, IVF with donor eggs. Great physical health, but crappy eggs. She'll be close to 43 when she gives birth. BIL and SIL want more than one, so she's going to have to start treatments again soon after giving birth. My RE clinic generally does not do IVF procedures once a woman hits 45. I would think their clinic would also have an age limit. Every timing has it's ups and downs. No timing is perfect.
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