tloonya
Junior Associate
What status?
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
Posts: 8,452
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Post by tloonya on Mar 17, 2016 14:44:10 GMT -5
I considered my last job toxic.
I was the accountant at a company.
My boss made remarks to me such as:
1) I am never impressed by people from *insert my small hometown*.
2) I manage up. (The CEO was the only person above her.)
3) She told me I don't understand basic math.
My reviews were excellent on paper because the CEO had to sign off on them, but behind closed doors she was very demeaning.
Note: She was the one that hired me.
She felt you will let her speak to you this way. What if you told her straight in a face 'I am finding such remarks rude and unapropriate Just wondering...
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 13, 2024 19:28:14 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2016 17:42:37 GMT -5
I've worked in a toxic environment before and it was pure dee hell. My boss was completely unprofessional and a bully that played favorites. Her favorites were bullies too, and I was not in the clique. She would yell, curse, and say totally inappropriate things that had nothing to do with work. I asked her nicely a couple of times to stop talking to me the way she did. She'd say I was right and apologize. The next day she'd be back at it.
I finally had enough and every time she'd open the talk crazy door I'd step through it and talk to her the same way she was talking to me. That's when she finally stopped and I haven't had a problem with her since then. Some time after that, I told her it was sad that it took me talking bad to her for her to understand that I meant it when I said I didn't want her talking bad to me. She thought it was funny.
I don't recommend fighting fire with fire the way I did though. At most other places I probably would have gotten fired.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,103
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 17, 2016 19:43:52 GMT -5
I considered my last job toxic.
I was the accountant at a company.
My boss made remarks to me such as:
1) I am never impressed by people from *insert my small hometown*.
2) I manage up. (The CEO was the only person above her.)
3) She told me I don't understand basic math.
My reviews were excellent on paper because the CEO had to sign off on them, but behind closed doors she was very demeaning.
Note: She was the one that hired me.
She felt you will let her speak to you this way. What if you told her straight in a face 'I am finding such remarks rude and unapropriate Just wondering...
Depending on the situation you could end up fired. In an at will state it doesn't take much. They will start documenting every teeny tiny mistake, then put you on an impossible to achieve improvement plan, then terminate you when you don't succeed. I was warned not to go head to head with a collaborator who was a bully. He had friends in high places (including the people ID file a complaint with) and would either make it impossible to do my job or get me fired. I can't pay the bills with my principals. He is tenured so pretty much untouchable. I was expendable.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 13, 2024 19:28:14 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2016 20:42:27 GMT -5
She felt you will let her speak to you this way. What if you told her straight in a face 'I am finding such remarks rude and unapropriate Just wondering...
Depending on the situation you could end up fired. In an at will state it doesn't take much. They will start documenting every teeny tiny mistake, then put you on an impossible to achieve improvement plan, then terminate you when you don't succeed. I was warned not to go head to head with a collaborator who was a bully. He had friends in high places (including the people ID file a complaint with) and would either make it impossible to do my job or get me fired. I can't pay the bills with my principals. He is tenured so pretty much untouchable. I was expendable. I completely understand how it can be a difficult situation to resolve and continue to work for the same company. In my case, I knew it was pointless to go through the chain of command, her behavior was accepted by her bosses. I did talk to one of our union stewards about it. He said he'd talk to her. About an hour later he came back and pulled me aside, apologizing profusely because unbeknownst to me, he thought I was exaggerating when I was telling him how she treated me.that was during the time I was going through a lot of serious crap in my personal life and he knew about some of it, so he thought I was making the work situation seem more extreme than it was. But when he'd gone into her office and asked her about it, she looked down at her desk and told him yes, it was true. He was still shocked and appalled when he came back to talk to me and told me that in 20 years, he'd NEVER had a manager admit to treating an employee the way she admitted to treating me. He clearly felt bad for not believing me even though I didn't know he didn't. At least the wench was honest. She told him she knew it was wrong and she'd stop. But she didn't.That whole situation made me understand how people can be already stressed out and just snap sometimes when someone is constantly messing with them. You never know what's already going on in a person's life when you decide to treat them badly. I swear I use to want to knock the shit out of that woman sometimes. No joke,every day I would sit in my car before I went in to work and pray for God to help me control myself and protect both me and her. All I wanted was to come to work, do my job in peace and go home.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,103
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 18, 2016 8:26:52 GMT -5
I've been having trouble adapting here b/c I learned how to deal with crazy all the time. It's hard to adjust to dealing with normal people and normal office politics.
I tried reading books but the majority of them are either super basic to the point where if you don't know this shit you aren't getting a job OR are designed to help you deal with toxic people.
I can already deal with toxic people. I need someone how to tell me what to do in a normal healthy job environment.
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formerroomate99
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 12, 2011 13:33:12 GMT -5
Posts: 7,381
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Post by formerroomate99 on Mar 19, 2016 19:18:28 GMT -5
Thanks to my 'Lord of the Flies' school experience, one of my main career goals has been being able to walk.
So far, I've been pretty lucky to not have a truly toxic work environment. My last job was unpleasant, but that was mainly due to my being too soft after 10 years of good managers and staying engaged when it was so obvious that I was being set up for failure. Had I been a little more street wise (and lord knows I'm old enough to know better), things would have been fine. Though I'm still glad to get out of that place. The glass door reviews of that place are both sad and hilarious.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 20, 2016 6:17:56 GMT -5
Absolutely
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