tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Mar 14, 2016 9:02:39 GMT -5
Describes my last office manager perfectly. Nothing made her happy, unless she was one-upping everyone around her. And FWIW, I was looking for a new job before I got laid off two months ago. Still looking, and while I am not happy about it, at least I am mentally and emotionally in a better place at the moment. And as Zib pointed out: You do what you have to do at times when people depend on you. You don't have to like it or enjoy it. But you keep looking to do better. Exactly! My point is if you are SO miserable at your work place - look for an exit. Don't just stay there and complain and not even put resume on Monster.com! That is all I am saying.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Mar 14, 2016 10:41:30 GMT -5
Describes my last office manager perfectly. Nothing made her happy, unless she was one-upping everyone around her. And FWIW, I was looking for a new job before I got laid off two months ago. Still looking, and while I am not happy about it, at least I am mentally and emotionally in a better place at the moment. And as Zib pointed out: You do what you have to do at times when people depend on you. You don't have to like it or enjoy it. But you keep looking to do better. Exactly! My point is if you are SO miserable at your work place - look for an exit. Don't just stay there and complain and not even put resume on Monster.com! That is all I am saying.
To assume people are miserable and not looking for a job is simply ludicrous. You aren't coming up with earth shattering revelations. You're just assuming people aren't doing things that they already ARE doing. Most people I know have their info out there and are looking for their next move regardless of their level of contentment. my DH has been looking for a year and a half. I have a recruiter working for me, but I'm not going to jump ship for any old job. I am picky and meticulous and reach out to contacts whenever I get interest from a different firm. Sometimes the old saying is true... Better the devil you know than the devil you don't!
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Mar 14, 2016 10:47:18 GMT -5
I work in a very specialized and small field. There are about 2-3 places in a LARGE city where I could work. If I quit my job, I would have to really hope one or two of those other places were hiring (chances are they are NOT) otherwise I'd have to move cities/states. I'm also in a senior position with experience and command/require a larger salary then some newbie. Plus, we are a small community, and if I just up and quit my job one day, that news would quickly spread. It's the difference between a career path and a j-o-b.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 14, 2016 10:53:23 GMT -5
Describes my last office manager perfectly. Nothing made her happy, unless she was one-upping everyone around her. And FWIW, I was looking for a new job before I got laid off two months ago. Still looking, and while I am not happy about it, at least I am mentally and emotionally in a better place at the moment. And as Zib pointed out: You do what you have to do at times when people depend on you. You don't have to like it or enjoy it. But you keep looking to do better. Exactly! My point is if you are SO miserable at your work place - look for an exit. Don't just stay there and complain and not even put resume on Monster.com! That is all I am saying.
And the majority of people probably are. Not everyone feels comfortable posting that they are looking for a job. We've had several posters on the board exposed and stalked/harassed. There are employers out there that if the find out you are looking to abandon ship will turn around and fire you. Not everyone has a YM approved savings account that can weather an extended period of unemployment and in most states you will be denied unemployment if you terminated. People also may fear retaliation in the form of increased bullying or possibly having their employer sabotage any opportunities that arise. I put down that no one could contact BT on my applications. I figured it was a short enough stint that it wouldn't matter, it'd be more important to contact my employer before them. I didn't want to take any chances.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 14, 2016 10:54:27 GMT -5
Exactly! My point is if you are SO miserable at your work place - look for an exit. Don't just stay there and complain and not even put resume on Monster.com! That is all I am saying.
To assume people are miserable and not looking for a job is simply ludicrous. You aren't coming up with earth shattering revelations. You're just assuming people aren't doing things that they already ARE doing. Most people I know have their info out there and are looking for their next move regardless of their level of contentment. my DH has been looking for a year and a half. I have a recruiter working for me, but I'm not going to jump ship for any old job. I am picky and meticulous and reach out to contacts whenever I get interest from a different firm. Sometimes the old saying is true... Better the devil you know than the devil you don't! Good point. And for some of us in very small work industries, or very small towns, or both, you have to be careful. You don't want to be fired for looking for a new job. That happens a lot. Ideally, you want to stay employed until the next job comes along, and not piss off anyone before you have to, even if you hate them. It's just not good policy.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Mar 14, 2016 11:03:48 GMT -5
To assume people are miserable and not looking for a job is simply ludicrous. You aren't coming up with earth shattering revelations. You're just assuming people aren't doing things that they already ARE doing. Most people I know have their info out there and are looking for their next move regardless of their level of contentment. my DH has been looking for a year and a half. I have a recruiter working for me, but I'm not going to jump ship for any old job. I am picky and meticulous and reach out to contacts whenever I get interest from a different firm. Sometimes the old saying is true... Better the devil you know than the devil you don't! Good point. And for some of us in very small work industries, or very small towns, or both, you have to be careful. You don't want to be fired for looking for a new job. That happens a lot. Ideally, you want to stay employed until the next job comes along, and not piss off anyone before you have to, even if you hate them. It's just not good policy. It is so true even when you work in large industries in large cities. I work for one of the largest law firms in the country... and there are several other big law firms in chicago. and people jump from one to another. People have connections and talk. I have to be VERY careful about who I talk to when I am asking around about the culture in a firm or a particular open position. My DH has a similar issue. He actually got a facebook message from someone he worked with 5 years ago saying that she had heard he had left his job... He hasn't talked to her in years. But his boss at the job he just quit, was a coworker of his at his job before that. He's guessing that she told the former coworker. Seriously, no one minds their damn business!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 14, 2016 12:53:37 GMT -5
Aw, what fun would that be? Funny this subject should come up. I have heard from absolutely no one in my former line of work, other than my ex-boss. Not a single soul. Because everyone knows him, knows about the non-compete clause and knows he can make life miserable for anyone who crosses him. Not that I miss the work, and certainly not the environment. It was literally toxic (smokers would be right outside both doors of the building, puffing away and tossing butts all over the ground; homeless people and door-to-door salespeople wandered in and out regularly). The place was dirty, the doors unsecured and the neighborhood going downhill.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 14, 2016 13:05:21 GMT -5
Exactly! My point is if you are SO miserable at your work place - look for an exit. Don't just stay there and complain and not even put resume on Monster.com! That is all I am saying.
And the majority of people probably are. Not everyone feels comfortable posting that they are looking for a job. We've had several posters on the board exposed and stalked/harassed. There are employers out there that if the find out you are looking to abandon ship will turn around and fire you. Not everyone has a YM approved savings account that can weather an extended period of unemployment and in most states you will be denied unemployment if you terminated. People also may fear retaliation in the form of increased bullying or possibly having their employer sabotage any opportunities that arise. I put down that no one could contact BT on my applications. I figured it was a short enough stint that it wouldn't matter, it'd be more important to contact my employer before them. I didn't want to take any chances. Where was I when that happened?! I miss everything!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 14, 2016 13:16:57 GMT -5
I actually did something similar, before I was laid off from my last position. I had been job hunting while I was there, and I would mark down on applications that my current employer could not be contacted. He actually knew I was looking, so it wasn't an issue with my boss. It was the office manager. She might answer the phone instead of him, and screw things up. I did not want a prospective employer talking to that old battleaxe AT ALL. I knew she'd ruin anything and everything for me, given the chance.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 14, 2016 13:25:58 GMT -5
Sometimes it only takes one person to create a toxic environment.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Mar 14, 2016 13:41:53 GMT -5
Sometimes it only takes one person to create a toxic environment. I know that I am not a good manager, but I hope that I don't create a toxic environment. I don't think so.. Oh well. Screw them if I do.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Mar 14, 2016 14:27:06 GMT -5
I actually did something similar, before I was laid off from my last position. I had been job hunting while I was there, and I would mark down on applications that my current employer could not be contacted. He actually knew I was looking, so it wasn't an issue with my boss. It was the office manager. She might answer the phone instead of him, and screw things up. I did not want a prospective employer talking to that old battleaxe AT ALL. I knew she'd ruin anything and everything for me, given the chance. No one gives permission to call current employer! Isn't it like obvious?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Mar 14, 2016 14:34:46 GMT -5
Sometimes it only takes one person to create a toxic environment. You weren't talking about Archie?
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 15, 2016 9:06:09 GMT -5
I actually did something similar, before I was laid off from my last position. I had been job hunting while I was there, and I would mark down on applications that my current employer could not be contacted. He actually knew I was looking, so it wasn't an issue with my boss. It was the office manager. She might answer the phone instead of him, and screw things up. I did not want a prospective employer talking to that old battleaxe AT ALL. I knew she'd ruin anything and everything for me, given the chance. No one gives permission to call current employer! Isn't it like obvious? That is not true. I am sure some people on this board who have been job hunting have done so, especially when their current places of employment are in the process of layoffs or going out of business. In those scenarios, there would be no reason NOT to call the current employer - if a prospective employer waited, they might not be able to contact the current employer at a later date. Why didn't you realize THAT was obvious?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 15, 2016 9:07:41 GMT -5
I've had employers want me to explain why I don't want my current employer contacted. It's a tricky dance. Do I take the risk of losing a job b/c the prospective employer thinks I am hiding something? Or do I take the risk that my current employer is going to sabotage my efforts to get out?
I had zero issues with them calling my COP boss or my former boss from Creighton. So it does look odd when you have checked "yes" to two jobs but one is checked "no".
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Mar 15, 2016 9:15:21 GMT -5
I've had employers want me to explain why I don't want my current employer contacted. It's a tricky dance. Do I take the risk of losing a job b/c the prospective employer thinks I am hiding something? Or do I take the risk that my current employer is going to sabotage my efforts to get out? I had zero issues with them calling my COP boss or my former boss from Creighton. So it does look odd when you have checked "yes" to two jobs but one is checked "no". Odd? Because you aren't presently working for those 2 and can't lose a job!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Mar 15, 2016 9:18:52 GMT -5
No one gives permission to call current employer! Isn't it like obvious? That is not true. I am sure some people on this board who have been job hunting have done so, especially when their current places of employment are in the process of layoffs or going out of business. In those scenarios, there would be no reason NOT to call the current employer - if a prospective employer waited, they might not be able to contact the current employer at a later date. Why didn't you realize THAT was obvious? Never had applied for the job while former in a process of going out of business. Never been told I am going to be laid off in enough time to start looking for a new job. Is this even happening? How do they go with it? 'Hey, Nancy, we are laying you off in 3 month so start looking'?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 15, 2016 9:27:19 GMT -5
I've had employers want me to explain why I don't want my current employer contacted. It's a tricky dance. Do I take the risk of losing a job b/c the prospective employer thinks I am hiding something? Or do I take the risk that my current employer is going to sabotage my efforts to get out? I had zero issues with them calling my COP boss or my former boss from Creighton. So it does look odd when you have checked "yes" to two jobs but one is checked "no". Odd? Because you aren't presently working for those 2 and can't lose a job! It's odd because why am I open to letting prospective employers talk to them but not my current employer? What is going on at my current employer that they can't talk to them too? Hiring managers are human beings, they are going to speculate. Some are understanding that you don't always want your current employer to know you are looking. Others decide it means you're hiding something and you don't get the job. It's a tricky balancing act you go thru when trying to get out of a toxic environment. In regards to layoff I knew in December 2014 that my boss at the COP was going to be losing grant funding come April 2015. We had hoped he would get approved for something by then but he told me he knew I had to start looking ASAP.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Mar 15, 2016 9:53:17 GMT -5
That is not true. I am sure some people on this board who have been job hunting have done so, especially when their current places of employment are in the process of layoffs or going out of business. In those scenarios, there would be no reason NOT to call the current employer - if a prospective employer waited, they might not be able to contact the current employer at a later date. Why didn't you realize THAT was obvious? Never had applied for the job while former in a process of going out of business. Never been told I am going to be laid off in enough time to start looking for a new job. Is this even happening? How do they go with it? 'Hey, Nancy, we are laying you off in 3 month so start looking'?
Pretty much. The last company my DH worked at (before the job he just quit ) he was there for 8 years and the company was bought out and they were laying off 2/3 of the people. DH and hundreds of others got 2 months notice of they date they would be laid off. It gave people a chance to leave first... if they leave first, the company doesn't have to pay severance or unemployment. So when you have a company merging or going under, better financially for the company to give workers advanced notice. Sent from my SM-G920T using proboards
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Mar 15, 2016 9:58:48 GMT -5
Never had applied for the job while former in a process of going out of business. Never been told I am going to be laid off in enough time to start looking for a new job. Is this even happening? How do they go with it? 'Hey, Nancy, we are laying you off in 3 month so start looking'?
Pretty much. The last company my DH worked at (before the job he just quit ) he was there for 8 years and the company was bought out and they were laying off 2/3 of the people. DH and hundreds of others got 2 months notice of they date they would be laid off. It gave people a chance to leave first... if they leave first, the company doesn't have to pay severance or unemployment. So when you have a company merging or going under, better financially for the company to give workers advanced notice. Sent from my SM-G920T using proboards I see now. Fair. My friend is working for the company that had just announced 2/3 lay off. He says everyone is petrified, however, she isn't looking...
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Mar 15, 2016 10:03:05 GMT -5
Pretty much. The last company my DH worked at (before the job he just quit ) he was there for 8 years and the company was bought out and they were laying off 2/3 of the people. DH and hundreds of others got 2 months notice of they date they would be laid off. It gave people a chance to leave first... if they leave first, the company doesn't have to pay severance or unemployment. So when you have a company merging or going under, better financially for the company to give workers advanced notice. Sent from my SM-G920T using proboards I see now. Fair. My friend is working for the company that had just announced 2/3 lay off. He says everyone is petrified, however, she isn't looking...
It worked out well for my DH. He started interviewing and landed a job about a month after his last day. He had unemployment during that time, as well as severance... 8 months of severance went into our savings account since it was extra money. Of course that job he landed is the job he just quit... so I guess it didn't work out *that* well! LOL My sister was in a similar position. The branch of. Major company she worked for was closing. They found out a few months before. The company offered relocation opportunities to other branches as well, but that meant out of state moves. Sent from my SM-G920T using proboards
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Value Buy
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Post by Value Buy on Mar 15, 2016 10:10:05 GMT -5
This is a good thread.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2016 10:32:16 GMT -5
Hiring managers are human beings, they are going to speculate. Some are understanding that you don't always want your current employer to know you are looking. Others decide it means you're hiding something and you don't get the job. I've been involved in hiring/interviewing during most of my career (not in HR but as a decision-maker in my own area). I have NEVER contacted a current employer. I had a wonderful informal network and many times I was on very good terms with the current manager. No way I would have called them and asked unless I had express permission. If someone wants to tell their manager they're looking to get leverage, that's their business. I occasionally told the current manager AFTER the person joined our company or another company, but never before.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Mar 15, 2016 13:15:48 GMT -5
How's this for toxic: My current boss told me that he has contacts in "big" places, with "big" people. He can destroy anyone he wants. He does not let anyone be happy if they make HIM unhappy. I resigned a few days ago and I refuse to disclose where I am going. Not to him, not to my co-workers, not even to my teammates from my previous projects. Word spreads and I simply do not want to take a chance of word reaching him and him attempting to destroy my chances. Till I am in my chair at the new job I am going Never in my working career have I ever felt the need to hide my prospective employment. But this place has me paranoid. This is what a toxic workplace does to you. It eradicates trust, builds paranoia and makes you jittery.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 15, 2016 13:19:33 GMT -5
I resigned a few days ago and I refuse to disclose where I am going. Not to him, not to my co-workers, not even to my teammates from my previous projects. Word spreads and I simply do not want to take a chance of word reaching him and him attempting to destroy my chances. Till I am in my chair at the new job I am going
Sounds like a good plan. I've been here four months and I still don't feel completely normal yet. My boss commented she doesn't understand why I get strung out at times. I don't want to go into detail with her about the toxic people/work places I have dealt with over my 10 years in academia. It's been hard to figure out how to deal with NORMAL people.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Mar 15, 2016 13:25:46 GMT -5
I resigned a few days ago and I refuse to disclose where I am going. Not to him, not to my co-workers, not even to my teammates from my previous projects. Word spreads and I simply do not want to take a chance of word reaching him and him attempting to destroy my chances. Till I am in my chair at the new job I am going
Sounds like a good plan. I've been here four months and I still don't feel completely normal yet. My boss commented she doesn't understand why I get strung out at times. I don't want to go into detail with her about the toxic people/work places I have dealt with over my 10 years in academia. It's been hard to figure out how to deal with NORMAL people. Absolutely. One starts eyeing everyone through tinted glasses. You wonder if they are genuine, or are they pals with your boss. Sigh.... Someday, SOMEDAY we'll get our groove back and be trusting again
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 15, 2016 13:30:01 GMT -5
I'm slowly easing into it. I am reminding myself I made two rather big bone headed mistakes and yet I am still here. I even got a nickname which DH said they don't give to people they don't feel are a part of the group. Course that doesn't mean a small part of my brain isn't waiting for the other shoe to drop. That comes from SR where they apparently decided I was doing a crappy job back in August but sat on the PPI until NOVEMBER. Then they only gave me five days to improve before I was terminated. Gee thanks. You'd think I'd be over that by now since it happened way back in 2008 yet it still haunts me.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2016 13:31:46 GMT -5
Never in my working career have I ever felt the need to hide my prospective employment. But this place has me paranoid. I've known people who have made that decision, for valid reasons. Congratulations on getting out!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 15, 2016 14:22:48 GMT -5
That is not true. I am sure some people on this board who have been job hunting have done so, especially when their current places of employment are in the process of layoffs or going out of business. In those scenarios, there would be no reason NOT to call the current employer - if a prospective employer waited, they might not be able to contact the current employer at a later date. Why didn't you realize THAT was obvious? Never had applied for the job while former in a process of going out of business. Never been told I am going to be laid off in enough time to start looking for a new job. Is this even happening? How do they go with it? 'Hey, Nancy, we are laying you off in 3 month so start looking'?
Yes, it happens. In my case, I saw the end coming in the middle of last year, when other people were being laid off. It was a matter of time before the ax fell on everyone. Sometimes, you do get advanced warning. Sometimes, you see the warning coming. If you keep your eyes and ears open and pay attention to the signs, you'd be surprised at what you learn.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2016 10:05:40 GMT -5
I considered my last job toxic.
I was the accountant at a company.
My boss made remarks to me such as:
1) I am never impressed by people from *insert my small hometown*.
2) I manage up. (The CEO was the only person above her.)
3) She told me I don't understand basic math.
My reviews were excellent on paper because the CEO had to sign off on them, but behind closed doors she was very demeaning.
Note: She was the one that hired me.
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