My #4 Grandson Invites My Wife and I To Dinner.

[OldCoyote]

I received a call for my 22 year old grandson inviting us to go out to dinner,  

I told my wife this really unusual.  any way he picks us up. he said where should we go,  I said how about Applebee's.

off we go, had dinner, the bill comes he picks it up looks shocked , $60 bucks,  he pays it, I pick up the tip.

he takes us home, when we get there, I said come on in.  

Then we find the reason for the invite, he needs a loan,  $6000.  it seems he needs minor surgery, he has Obamacare,  but cannot come up with the deductible. 

Which brings me to this question,  How many 22 year olds have $6000. or more sitting around some where?

[Ombud]

So gift him the 6k

GS1 only takes me to dinner where he works. Oh and campus this Thursday. Wants to treat his uncle but they have difficulty scheduling it when they're both downtown

[Deleted]

Mar 1, 2016 5:22:07 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

I received a call for my 22 year old grandson inviting us to go out to dinner,  

I told my wife this really unusual.  any way he picks us up. he said where should we go,  I said how about Applebee's.

off we go, had dinner, the bill comes he picks it up looks shocked , $60 bucks,  he pays it, I pick up the tip.

he takes us home, when we get there, I said come on in.  

Then we find the reason for the invite, he needs a loan,  $6000.  it seems he needs minor surgery, he has Obamacare,  but cannot come up with the deductible. 

Which brings me to this question,  How many 22 year olds have $6000. or more sitting around some where?

A lot of people, regardless of age, don't have $6000 or more sitting around somewhere. 

I imagine you are going to give it to him.  Did his parents turn him down or something? 

I hope the surgery goes well.

[OldCoyote]

At the moment I don't have that much loose cash sitting around, we have money in money market account, a trust fund, and some 401ks.

It would mean we would pay the taxes to pull it out, On the other hand maybe I will talk to my wife about gifting him.

But boy is she a hard sell,   reminds me of an old Jack Benny joke,  Jack was being held up at gun point,

Robber with a gun "Give me your money". 

Jack thinking,

Robber, "YOUR LIFE OR YOUR MONEY"

Jack I'm thinking ,,, I'm thinking!!

[OldCoyote]

Mar 1, 2016 6:02:59 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

Mar 1, 2016 5:22:07 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

I received a call for my 22 year old grandson inviting us to go out to dinner,  

I told my wife this really unusual.  any way he picks us up. he said where should we go,  I said how about Applebee's.

off we go, had dinner, the bill comes he picks it up looks shocked , $60 bucks,  he pays it, I pick up the tip.

he takes us home, when we get there, I said come on in.  

Then we find the reason for the invite, he needs a loan,  $6000.  it seems he needs minor surgery, he has Obamacare,  but cannot come up with the deductible. 

Which brings me to this question,  How many 22 year olds have $6000. or more sitting around some where?

A lot of people, regardless of age, don't have $6000 or more sitting around somewhere. 

I imagine you are going to give it to him.  Did his parents turn him down or something? 

I hope the surgery goes well.

His mom and  dad are into debt right up to their noses standing on their tiptoes.

[geenamercile]

He should check with the hospital where the surgery will be at too.  Sometimes they will have a sliding scale options as well to help with cost.  

[resolution]

Probably gift him the money instead of loaning, since loans to family cause a lot of trouble.

[zibazinski]

The hospital will set up and interest free payment plan for him. No need for you to get involved. Hospitals are used to people not having cash for their deductibles.

[zibazinski]

Because he's going to owe more than his deductible as well.

[OldCoyote]

I have "loaned" his mom and dad thousands of $ not to have a penny repaid!

[zibazinski]

Oh, well, they've taught him well.

[zibazinski]

Go to old coyote bank

[zibazinski]

So it's not supposed to be a loan but a donation since you've donated thousands to his parents over the years. Were you at all suspicious when he asked you to dinner? I bet he expected you to pick up the check for dinner, too.

[resolution]

According to the OP the kid is asking for a loan and not a gift, but that is a lot to start out owing someone and if he runs into trouble paying it back it could poison the relationship.

Unless he has a pattern of asking for gifts like his parents, I don't think it is disturbing that a 22 year old is asking for help with surgery. It's not like he used his food money on toys or his utility money on toys and is acting surprised that he still needs to eat or pay the power bill. Most 22 year olds are not planning or budgeting for a hospital bill. A lot of them would be foregoing insurance all together and looking at bankruptcy if something goes wrong.

[zibazinski]

But the hospital will "loan" him the money, too. Difference is, the hospital will expect to be paid back. No one ever asks outright for money, it's always a loan. Except the loan never gets paid back. You think the kid doesn't realize his parents have been loaned thousands over the years and never paid back? I always laugh when I hear the stories of family who were given loans they never paid back and come will reading time, their share is reduced by the amount of the unpaid loans and they're pissed off!

[zibazinski]

You had to know it was coming when you invited him in instead of jumping out of the car and saying "thanks for dinner, nice seeing you!"

[zibazinski]

That would have been priceless.

[TheHaitian]

Mar 1, 2016 6:14:33 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

Mar 1, 2016 6:02:59 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

A lot of people, regardless of age, don't have $6000 or more sitting around somewhere. 

I imagine you are going to give it to him.  Did his parents turn him down or something? 

I hope the surgery goes well.

His mom and  dad are into debt right up to their noses standing on their tiptoes.

Waiting on that large trust fund you have

[TheHaitian]

Mar 1, 2016 7:43:13 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

I have "loaned" his mom and dad thousands of $ not to have a penny repaid!

With family I have learned a loan time ago: no loans!

It creates hard feelings, make things uncomfortable for awhile, etc. I have had , for the peace of the family and friendship, to let go of about 20k last time I added it up (the bulk of that my first car I sold to my cousin.... Sold being used loosely there) and have not been repaid.

So nowadays I gift it to family or friends or I don't have it.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Mar 1, 2016 6:14:33 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

Mar 1, 2016 6:02:59 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

A lot of people, regardless of age, don't have $6000 or more sitting around somewhere. 

I imagine you are going to give it to him.  Did his parents turn him down or something? 

I hope the surgery goes well.

His mom and  dad are into debt right up to their noses standing on their tiptoes.

that's not on him though.

I don't know if you should loan to him, gift to him or tell him no, but he's not responsible for the actions of his parents.

[zibazinski]

Yup, my new deductible will be $4750. Pray I never have to pay it but it is what it is.

[OldCoyote]

A couple of things in his favor, he is an ex Marine,  going to school on the Marines dime, he has a part time job,

He is the only one on that side of the family that seems to have his feet planted on the ground, pointed in an direction.

I will give an example, #2 grand son visiting us with the family, 26 years old, going to school working on a masters degree, in counseling, No driver licence, has never learned to drive.

When they were here , I had a Million dollar bill setting on the table,  he picked it up said is this real!!  So I said yeaaa,

I am sure many of you leave real million dollar bills just laying around!

[zibazinski]

Mar 1, 2016 8:07:21 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Mar 1, 2016 6:14:33 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

His mom and  dad are into debt right up to their noses standing on their tiptoes.

that's not on him though.

I don't know if you should loan to him, gift to him or tell him no, but he's not responsible for the actions of his parents.

True but he's learned he doesn't have to pay back old coyote from his parents.

[zibazinski]

Mar 1, 2016 8:08:17 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

A couple of things in his favor, he is an ex Marine,  going to school on the Marines dime, he has a part time job,

He is the only one on that side of the family that seems to have his feet planted on the ground, pointed in an direction.

I will give an example, #2 grand son visiting us with the family, 26 years old, going to school working on a masters degree, in counseling, No driver licence, has never learned to drive.

When they were here , I had a Million dollar bill setting on the table,  he picked it up said is this real!!  So I said yeaaa,

I am sure many of you leave real million dollar bills just laying around!

Still, the hospital will work with him. Don't put this on you. If you want to help out after the fact then do it but let Homans his wife whom I'm assuming is also working, figure it out. The hospital doesn't expect him to have 6k before they'll operate and that 6 k is a drop in the bucket compared to what he will owe before he's discharged.

[zibazinski]

Him and his wife. Spell check?

[OldCoyote]

I reached a point in which I finally just said NO.  I not another dime. to mom and dad anyway. 

[wvugurl26]

I agree he should talk to the hospital about financing. I think a lot of the 0% ones have gone away though.

[zibazinski]

Good for you. It's hard.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Mar 1, 2016 8:08:25 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Mar 1, 2016 8:07:21 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

that's not on him though.

I don't know if you should loan to him, gift to him or tell him no, but he's not responsible for the actions of his parents.

True but he's learned he doesn't have to pay back old coyote from his parents.

not necessarily. My parents almost never talked about money in front of us kids. Not until my older sister got married and her husband started asking stuff about retirement, etc. Because his family talked about money. You'd probably have a much better idea of what's been discussed over the years by them than I would.

[OldCoyote]

Mar 1, 2016 7:56:22 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

But the hospital will "loan" him the money, too. Difference is, the hospital will expect to be paid back. No one ever asks outright for money, it's always a loan. Except the loan never gets paid back. You think the kid doesn't realize his parents have been loaned thousands over the years and never paid back? I always laugh when I hear the stories of family who were given loans they never paid back and come will reading time, their share is reduced by the amount of the unpaid loans and they're pissed off!

That was my suggestion to him, have not heard back.