I will never get people...

[TheHaitian]

So this teammate was in our break room bitching about paying child support ($100/week)... And went on a rant how he needs to go back to Missouri and contest the child support because he hasn't seen his son since he was 6 months old (now 6 years old ) and he doesn't make enough to be paying $100/week.

Yet that is the same guy that rushed to put his name on his girlfriend baby certificate as the father (she was already pregnant when they met) and helping her fight to get custody of her 2 other kids that are in foster care.

So you sir are bitching about paying $100/week for your own biological son yet you are more than happy and willing to play daddy to kids that are not yours! And bragging how you get your baby girl and her mother everything they want, they just got to ask for it and they get it. She doesn't work because she thought is was best she stay at home and raise the baby... And you said yes!

WTF is wrong with this picture? As my mamma would say: she must have a golden coochie!

[mojothehelpermonkey]

It sounds like he is only willing to provide support if the child's mom is having sex with him. When things fall apart with his new girlfriend, he will probably move on to another sad situation. Then he will have two exes to complain about.

[Artemis Windsong]

Another example of twisted thinking.  Lack of judgment and reasoning.

We need to coin a word for these dirt bags.  Thanks for the phrase golden coochie.  I will squirrel that away for the right moment zinger.

[Jake 48]

If he is dumb enough to put his name on a birth certificate for a child that is not his, he deserves whatever happens to him. I predict she dumps his arse and takes him for child support.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Is this the same genius that traded in a new truck for a used Mustang?

[mamasita99]

Lol, your mamma would say golden coochie?   Sounds like something my grandma would have said  She was ahead of her time!

[dannylion]

People are stupid.

[zibazinski]

Jan 3, 2016 16:48:56 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

So this teammate was in our break room bitching about paying child support ($100/week)... And went on a rant how he needs to go back to Missouri and contest the child support because he hasn't seen his son since he was 6 months old (now 6 years old ) and he doesn't make enough to be paying $100/week.

Yet that is the same guy that rushed to put his name on his girlfriend baby certificate as the father (she was already pregnant when they met) and helping her fight to get custody of her 2 other kids that are in foster care.

So you sir are bitching about paying $100/week for your own biological son yet you are more than happy and willing to play daddy to kids that are not yours! And bragging how you get your baby girl and her mother everything they want, they just got to ask for it and they get it. She doesn't work because she thought is was best she stay at home and raise the baby... And you said yes!

WTF is wrong with this picture? As my mamma would say: she must have a golden coochie!

She'll make sure she gets pregnant ASAP

[mojothehelpermonkey]

Jan 3, 2016 18:29:47 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Jan 3, 2016 16:48:56 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

So this teammate was in our break room bitching about paying child support ($100/week)... And went on a rant how he needs to go back to Missouri and contest the child support because he hasn't seen his son since he was 6 months old (now 6 years old ) and he doesn't make enough to be paying $100/week.

Yet that is the same guy that rushed to put his name on his girlfriend baby certificate as the father (she was already pregnant when they met) and helping her fight to get custody of her 2 other kids that are in foster care.

So you sir are bitching about paying $100/week for your own biological son yet you are more than happy and willing to play daddy to kids that are not yours! And bragging how you get your baby girl and her mother everything they want, they just got to ask for it and they get it. She doesn't work because she thought is was best she stay at home and raise the baby... And you said yes!

WTF is wrong with this picture? As my mamma would say: she must have a golden coochie!

She'll make sure she gets pregnant ASAP

Then some other fool can be on the birth certificate. If he can rack up a couple more ladies to do him wrong, maybe he can start a country music career.

[sapphire12]

wow. just wow.

[Deleted]

Wait. You called the baby mama his girlfriend. So she's probably pulling in benefits as a single mom.  I'm willing to bet there is subsidized housing, food stamps, and whatever involved.  He may not be saying he lives there.

Things like this are rarely as straight forward as they sound.

[ArchietheDragon]

Biology, a father does not make.

[haapai]

Jan 3, 2016 16:48:56 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

WTF is wrong with this picture?

Let's try a systematic approach.  Here's your original post with a few bits highlighted. 

So this teammate was in our break room bitching about paying (1) child support ($100/week)... And went on a rant how he needs to go back to Missouri and contest the child support because he hasn't seen his son since he was 6 months old (now 6 years old ) and he doesn't make enough to be paying $100/week.

Yet that is the same guy that rushed to put his name on his girlfriend baby certificate as the father (she was already pregnant when they met (2)) and helping her fight to get custody of her 2 other kids that are in foster care.

So you sir are bitching about paying $100/week for your own biological son yet you are more than happy and willing to play daddy to kids that are not yours! And bragging how you get your baby girl and her mother everything they want (3), they just got to ask for it and they get it. She doesn't work because she thought is was best she stay at home and raise the baby (4)... And you said yes(5)!

The five statements that I have bolded should be treated with extreme skepticism.  I'm sorry that you have to spend your breaks listening to something that requires so much mental agility and effort. 

I work with a few folks similar to your ranting coworker and my basic approach is to stay stupid.  I don't let statements like the ones that I have bolded take up space on my hard drive, my mind deletes them every night in an error-detection program.  After a while you get used to pulling up files on folks and finding mostly blanks. 

[mroped]

This guy's name by any chance Forest Gump? 'Cause he sure sounds like him!

"stupid is what stupid does!"

[obelisk]

Please don't insult Forrest Gump.  He at least was faithful to his loved ones.

[mroped]

I apologize obelisk! I didn't mean to insult dear Forest Gump. He is my hero after all.
And you are right: this guy might sound like FG but he is nothing like him!

[MJ2.0]

I don't find it stupid as much as I find it incredibly sad. I don't understand how people can treat other people - especially children who never asked to be brought into this world - like pawns or inconveniences.

[NancysSummerSip]

He sounds like he has a case of Knight In Shining Armor Syndrome.

His bio kid is an inconvenience to him, either because the kid is in another state (did he move or did the mother move and take him with her?) or he's not getting any action from the mama, or both, so now neither she nor the kid means anything to him, other than he feels like her ATM.

As for the new GF, well, she's new. Does new GF know about his bio kid and baby mama #1? Did he just ride in like a savior with an open wallet in order to get her goodies (though why he would when she was preggers when they met kind of makes me go hmmmmm. It's not like he could do the jump and hump, given her condition).

He sounds like someone who feels the need to perform a rescue mission on the women in his life, especially since baby mama #2 also has her mother around with a hand open. He needs to show he's a real man, and this is how he does it. With mama #1 in another state, there's no way he can show his mighty, mighty manself to her or the biokid. No wonder he's frustrated with just opening the Bank of BabyDaddy for her. That does not show anyone he's in charge.

[happyhoix]

Jan 4, 2016 10:43:18 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I don't find it stupid as much as I find it incredibly sad. I don't understand how people can treat other people - especially children who never asked to be brought into this world - like pawns or inconveniences.

I don't either.

I've known several guys who divorced their first wives, moved away, have nothing further to do with their kids, and either avoided paying child support (one of them only worked under the table, so his wages couldn't be garnished) or bitch about paying child support.

Then they make new kids with a new wife (or adopt her kids as their own) and spend all their time/money raising the new kids while ignoring the first batch. I don't understand it.

Karma is a bitch, though - I was talking to a friend of mine whose first husband pulled this trick and had nothing to do with his son for the last 18 years or so. Suddenly, when the son is getting ready to graduate from college, Dad calls him up and wants to try to re-establish a relationship.

Son told the dad he figured if he could get along fine without Dad in his life for that long, he'd get along fine without him going forward.

 



 

[Artemis Windsong]

My alcohol brain dead brother has two successful, brilliant sons.  Won't go through what he put then through.  They will have very little to do with him.

Dippy brother spends his focus on the drug addicted offspring in prison.  I guess it's easier to write a letter than pick up the telephone and call.

[formerroomate99]

Jan 4, 2016 10:43:18 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I don't find it stupid as much as I find it incredibly sad. I don't understand how people can treat other people - especially children who never asked to be brought into this world - like pawns or inconveniences.

Same here.  

[zibazinski]

Jan 4, 2016 11:21:07 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

He sounds like he has a case of Knight In Shining Armor Syndrome.

His bio kid is an inconvenience to him, either because the kid is in another state (did he move or did the mother move and take him with her?) or he's not getting any action from the mama, or both, so now neither she nor the kid means anything to him, other than he feels like her ATM.

As for the new GF, well, she's new. Does new GF know about his bio kid and baby mama #1? Did he just ride in like a savior with an open wallet in order to get her goodies (though why he would when she was preggers when they met kind of makes me go hmmmmm. It's not like he could do the jump and hump, given her condition).

He sounds like someone who feels the need to perform a rescue mission on the women in his life, especially since baby mama #2 also has her mother around with a hand open. He needs to show he's a real man, and this is how he does it. With mama #1 in another state, there's no way he can show his mighty, mighty manself to her or the biokid. No wonder he's frustrated with just opening the Bank of BabyDaddy for her. That does not show anyone he's in charge.

You're kidding, right? These dogs hump until the last second. Plus, she's gotten bigger-all over-which some men find enticing.

[justme]

$400 a month is barely enough to pay the difference between a 1 bedroom and 2 bedroom in a lot of places. I'd look him straight in the eye and say he's welcome to take the kid and try to provide for him by only spending $400 more a month then he currently is. Otherwise he can shut the hell up and wear a damn condom.

[mroped]

My wife has a cousin that has kids with multiple women and lives with none.
He sees his kids pretty regularly and to some extent takes care of them but to me is just an odd situation.
I was just kidding the other day talking to my son that his moms cousin has three kids with four women
One would wonder: ok, you have a kid with this girl, it didn't work, you move on. Meet second girl, have a kid with that one too, it doesn't work. 
Do you think that you should go looking for a third one and have a kid with?
Most people would think not but then "there are those!"

[Deleted]

I don't see how people can think that someone is a suitable mate knowing they have a child or children that they don't give a damn about.

Having a baby is not a part of my future so I'm not looking for a man that I think would be a good father to any children I might have, but I am still completely uninterested in a man that has no concern for his minor child or children and doesn't even try to make sure they're ok. I briefly dated a man that had a young daughter. When I realized that he never mentioned having her with him I started asking questions. It turned out that he rarely saw her or did anything for her. That was a major issue for me even though it wasn't my child. I just can't respect a man that can put his time, energy and money into dating me but he ignores his own child. He couldn't even really come up with a reason to try to justify why he thought it was ok to ignore her, he just wasn't interested in trying to be a good father to her. Well I'm not interested in deadbeat dads, so that was the end of that.

[wvugurl26]

Jan 5, 2016 6:17:09 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

I don't see how people can think that someone is a suitable mate knowing they have a child or children that they don't give a damn about.

Having a baby is not a part of my future so I'm not looking for a man that I think would be a good father to any children I might have, but I am still completely uninterested in a man that has no concern for his minor child or children and doesn't even try to make sure they're ok. I briefly dated a man that had a young daughter. When I realized that he never mentioned having her with him I started asking questions. It turned out that he rarely saw her or did anything for her. That was a major issue for me even though it wasn't my child. I just can't respect a man that can put his time, energy and money into dating me but he ignores his own child. He couldn't even really come up with a reason to try to justify why he thought it was ok to ignore her, he just wasn't interested in trying to be a good father to her. Well I'm not interested in deadbeat dads, so that was the end of that.

Clearly there aren't enough people uninterested in them. I have no use for people who don't take care of their obligations. I know some use children as a pawn and make it difficult but try being a grown up and rising above instead of sinking to that level.

[NancysSummerSip]

Jan 4, 2016 23:14:29 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Jan 4, 2016 11:21:07 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

He sounds like he has a case of Knight In Shining Armor Syndrome.

His bio kid is an inconvenience to him, either because the kid is in another state (did he move or did the mother move and take him with her?) or he's not getting any action from the mama, or both, so now neither she nor the kid means anything to him, other than he feels like her ATM.

As for the new GF, well, she's new. Does new GF know about his bio kid and baby mama #1? Did he just ride in like a savior with an open wallet in order to get her goodies (though why he would when she was preggers when they met kind of makes me go hmmmmm. It's not like he could do the jump and hump, given her condition).

He sounds like someone who feels the need to perform a rescue mission on the women in his life, especially since baby mama #2 also has her mother around with a hand open. He needs to show he's a real man, and this is how he does it. With mama #1 in another state, there's no way he can show his mighty, mighty manself to her or the biokid. No wonder he's frustrated with just opening the Bank of BabyDaddy for her. That does not show anyone he's in charge.

You're kidding, right? These dogs hump until the last second. Plus, she's gotten bigger-all over-which some men find enticing.

Well sure....there is that as well. I base my assessment on what I know and have seen. The humping dog-type is not one I am personally familiar with. The guy who wants to gallop in and rescue damsels in distress is a type I have seen. Neither one is any kind of prize.  Neither one really loves and respects women. In fact, both show a level of disdain and disrespect that is pretty awesome to behold. They just do it differently.

[whoisjohngalt]

Thankfully, I have no personal experience or even know anyone who has children that they don't see/take care of.

But I wonder if fathers/mothers who stay away from their kids stay away bc they don't want to deal with the custodian parent, for whatever reason.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

But I wonder if fathers/mothers who stay away from their kids stay away bc they don't want to deal with the custodian parent, for whatever reason.

Dh said that's why his brother has never really been a part of his eldest daughter's life.

Sorry but I call BS on that.  The child didn't ask to be born.   Maybe you shouldn't have gotten your girlfriend knocked up if you couldn't handle dealing with her.   Since you did, suck it up buttercup. 

Then his family wonders why she has very little to do with them. .. gee let me think.

I asked DH if I divorced him would he just disappear b/c he "doesn't want to deal with me" and never see the kids?  He said no he would fight tooth and nail to keep his kids in his life, they are just as much his children as they are mine.

That's a father.

[Deleted]

My Dad kind of pulled out of my life when I was maybe 5 or 6.  Before that I would see him on Christmas usually and that was about it.  He lived several hours away with his new wife and kids.  I don't recall ever having any hard feelings about it.  He was just a guy I didn't really know anyhow.  His $65/month child support checks were never late (that as a lot more back then!), and he did write long letters occasionally but that was about it.

He came back into my life when I was in my early 30's and pregnant with older son.  This was a crazy year for me because I also found out and met my older brother that my Mother had put up for adoption who I never knew existed.   It was awkward with my Dad at first, but these days they are very much a part of my life and my kids.  Either they travel down or I go up there once a month or so, my kids stay up there for week long stretches and get spoiled rotten, they opened trust accounts and have saved more for their college than I have.  My Dad is still active in Boy Scouts and comes down for any of DS's rank advancements and to help him with merit badges.  I've also established relationships with my half siblings.  My brother rented a beautiful lakeshore house for all of this this coming weekend, so I'm looking forward to hanging out with them and my new nephew. 

My entire life I thought my Dad just walked out on us and he never told me any different no matter what I accused him of.  I was ok with that, but I just recently found out from an aunt that's not how it went.  My parents were married and my Dad was drafted just a few weeks before I was born.  When his time in the Army was up he came home (I was about two).  I guess he was all ready to settle down with his family.  Well, I guess my Mom wasn't one who liked being alone and had moved on while he was gone. 

He tells me he thought at the time it would be easier on me if he was just gone, but that he regrets that decision very much.