imawino
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Post by imawino on Dec 11, 2015 13:01:41 GMT -5
Only if they have never met her.
ETA - I can't be the only one that spent years reading zib's posts about trying to get her DF to disinherit everyone else, stop giving them money, talking about how awful his bio and step kids are. You're not.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 11, 2015 13:12:32 GMT -5
Only if they have never met her.
ETA - I can't be the only one that spent years reading zib's posts about trying to get her DF to disinherit everyone else, stop giving them money, talking about how awful his bio and step kids are. I think this is a pretty low blow.
I read those posts as she saw DH being an enabler to some pretty bad behavior by his kids. She didn't think that throwing money at the problem was helping.
The important part to note was that I never recall reading that she wanted/deserved his money.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2015 13:15:31 GMT -5
Then you missed her posts when it was clear what the will said.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 11, 2015 13:36:01 GMT -5
I don't know. If I gave her a lump sum, she'd piss it away but I don't want to give her an allowance because she very well could live freaking forever. She's not a friend in any way, shape, or form. DH loved her and was honoring his mother's wishes. I think his mother might have left her something in her will but trust me, that's long gone. I'm honestly not seeing the big deal with helping her out. I have no idea what you have inherited but since you always talk about how rich your dh was, I'm assume you got a lot. Considering you weren't married all that long, it isn't as if you built the empire with him. So when you keep talking about it coming out of "your money" it kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth
I know this will shock everyone, but if my husband loved someone and I thought he would have wanted them taken care of, then I would absolutely take care of this person.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 11, 2015 13:39:24 GMT -5
Only if they have never met her.
ETA - I can't be the only one that spent years reading zib's posts about trying to get her DF to disinherit everyone else, stop giving them money, talking about how awful his bio and step kids are. hahahaha! No, I have read the same posts...
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 11, 2015 13:42:34 GMT -5
I don't know. If I gave her a lump sum, she'd piss it away but I don't want to give her an allowance because she very well could live freaking forever. She's not a friend in any way, shape, or form. DH loved her and was honoring his mother's wishes. I think his mother might have left her something in her will but trust me, that's long gone. I'm honestly not seeing the big deal with helping her out. I have no idea what you have inherited but since you always talk about how rich your dh was, I'm assume you got a lot. Considering you weren't married all that long, it isn't as if you built the empire with him. So when you keep talking about it coming out of "your money" it kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth
I know this will shock everyone, but if my husband loved someone and I thought he would have wanted them taken care of, then I would absolutely take care of this person.
I don't think she inherited anything, not her home or even her car. She's being supported for life, and that's it. That might be a large annual sum, I'm not sure, but others that are actually related to the aunt in question seem to have actually inherited assets. By the arrangement, it appears that her DH didn't want her to have to worry about that.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 11, 2015 13:45:25 GMT -5
I'm honestly not seeing the big deal with helping her out. I have no idea what you have inherited but since you always talk about how rich your dh was, I'm assume you got a lot. Considering you weren't married all that long, it isn't as if you built the empire with him. So when you keep talking about it coming out of "your money" it kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth
I know this will shock everyone, but if my husband loved someone and I thought he would have wanted them taken care of, then I would absolutely take care of this person.
I don't think she inherited anything, not her home or even her car. She's being supported for life, and that's it. That might be a large annual sum, I'm not sure, but others that are actually related to the aunt in question seem to have actually inherited assets. By the arrangement, it appears that her DH didn't want to have to worry about that. Then just be honest and say "I dont' want to give her money". that I can understand. But complaining about a cell phone bill and insurance as reasons why not to give her money just seem dishonest to me. But she did just get married so a part of me thinks that money really belongs to his family...keep in mind how I think...I don't deserve a man's money just because I marry him and certainly not a huge chunk for a very short-term marriage. That isn't a knock, just explaining why I would give the aunt money...I wouldn't feel like any of what he left me was really mine. YMMV
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 11, 2015 13:47:50 GMT -5
I inherited nothing. I'm entitled to the income from the trust. At this point the trust generates no income but I'm being given money monthly by the trustee. Who could, if she chose to, start being a jerk. So I'm a puppet dancing to strings. DH's family has not been particularly nice to me and it's because of money of course. Both before our marriage and after. They wanted it all. Unfortunately DH set the stage for all of this. The only family member to work hard and make something of himself is supposed to support everyone else in the manner they feel entitled to. You see it all the time on this board.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 11, 2015 13:50:26 GMT -5
We were together six years. Married a short time because I was nervous about it. Time has nothing to do with the bond we shared.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 11, 2015 13:51:05 GMT -5
well, to be fair, it doesn't sound like you were very nice to them either.
Did you have a prenup because if you only got a small income stream, your right of election should insure you get a much bigger share of the estate.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 11, 2015 13:54:22 GMT -5
Then you missed her posts when it was clear what the will said. Please reference the posts to which you refer.
I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong but I really don't recall such a post.
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zibazinski
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DH's Aunt
Dec 11, 2015 13:54:56 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by zibazinski on Dec 11, 2015 13:54:56 GMT -5
For those that gave me some good and helpful advice, thank you. This thread is done.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2015 13:55:32 GMT -5
That's really nice of the trustee
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2015 13:56:38 GMT -5
Then you missed her posts when it was clear what the will said. Please reference the posts to which you refer.
I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong but I really don't recall such a post.
Check a few pages in to POM's thread announcing his death.
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Dec 11, 2015 13:58:05 GMT -5
Not my favorite person but DH loved her. He used to give her money because her husband wasn't well employed. As did DH's mother before she died. Long short, DH made no provision for her on his will. Her children are useless in helping support her. I'm feeling some feelings of responsibility. I could ask the executrix but she's not related to her so probably will say no. So it would come out of my funds. I'm already on the hook for that car DH leased for me. What should I do? I'm sorry if I sound insensitive...but come on, you came to a message board for that kind of advice. Again. I'm sorry for what is happening, and there are many views and talented people here, I think one is a lawyer from upstate NY...but get professional advice in the real world.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 11, 2015 14:02:42 GMT -5
I inherited nothing. I'm entitled to the income from the trust. At this point the trust generates no income but I'm being given money monthly by the trustee. Who could, if she chose to, start being a jerk. So I'm a puppet dancing to strings. DH's family has not been particularly nice to me and it's because of money of course. Both before our marriage and after. They wanted it all. Unfortunately DH set the stage for all of this. The only family member to work hard and make something of himself is supposed to support everyone else in the manner they feel entitled to. You see it all the time on this board. Zib,
I'm sorry you are going through this. I know you were concerned that people were taking advantage of your DH.
Do you have a copy of the Trust? You may want to take it to a CPA or estate attorney and see if a lump sum distribution of the income stream (annuity) is an easier option for you.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Dec 11, 2015 14:07:42 GMT -5
Only if they have never met her.
ETA - I can't be the only one that spent years reading zib's posts about trying to get her DF to disinherit everyone else, stop giving them money, talking about how awful his bio and step kids are. When you see someone you love being taken advantage of I think it's natural to react in that way. Or at least I can see myself reacting in a similar manner if someone I adored seemed to only exist as a piggy bank to the people they cared about.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 11, 2015 14:08:37 GMT -5
If you're not obligated to support her, make payments to her and your husband gave no written or oral instructions to pay her, then cut her off. You don't have to make an announcement or provide excuses, just don't do anything. Let people whisper.
Frankly, I think it's very odd that anyone would expect you to send her money.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 11, 2015 14:14:06 GMT -5
The executrix claims I will have at least X per month. She also says I will possibly get more Of course now I get stuck with a car payment but that helps her/estate out so she should be amenable to doing something for me. I know DH would want me to help her. I'm trying to put aside my personal feelings about her and do just that. It's not easy. I'm really confused. Did your DH pass?? edit: looks like I am behind the times. Zib, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2015 14:16:01 GMT -5
well, to be fair, it doesn't sound like you were very nice to them either.
Did you have a prenup because if you only got a small income stream, your right of election should insure you get a much bigger share of the estate. Even if they were only married a few months and he was very ill when they did get married?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 11, 2015 14:21:22 GMT -5
Not that it matters to you but he wasn't Iill when we got married.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Dec 11, 2015 14:23:45 GMT -5
well, to be fair, it doesn't sound like you were very nice to them either.
Did you have a prenup because if you only got a small income stream, your right of election should insure you get a much bigger share of the estate. Even if they were only married a few months and he was very ill when they did get married? It can matter if it was a fraudulent marriage (Anna Nicole Smith I'm talking about you) but if they had been together for several years prior to the marriage, no, it probably won't be considered fraudulent.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Dec 11, 2015 14:25:05 GMT -5
This thread has been locked by request of the OP.
Thanks
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