"No child should be left....

[whoisjohngalt]

without presents under the Christmas tree"

There was a post on one of the local mom's groups that a single mom of 3 (8, 4 and 1 yr old) got laid off last week and now has no money for the kids' presents.  After asking people to donate, the poster finished with "no child...."

Do most people feel that way?  No matter what parent's situation is that kids should have presents on Christmas?

I am curious if this is the "Christmas" thing or the "kid" thing?

What say you?

[Tennesseer]

The U.S. Marines believe all children should receive at least one gift for Christmas (Toys For Tots program).  This program has been in existence since 1947.

[Deleted]

I would have a really hard time not getting my kids SOMETHING for under the Christmas tree no matter how bad things were, but thankfully, I've never been in a position where it actually meant no food on the table, so I can't say what I'd do in that situation. 

[Phoenix84]

I think you should make every reasonable effort to give your kids something for Christmas. But if it comes down to presents or eating and living indoors, you should choose the latter.

[muttleynfelix]

Why do presents under the tree have to be expensive? The presents my kids are going to be happiest from Santa about cost $10 (each, so $20 total). DS is getting k'nex (on sale for $10) and DD is getting crayons, a crayon box, a coloring book and stickers. Yes they will have a little more than that - new shoes (bought on sale), sweatpants for DS, and gloves for DD (I think it totals $40 per kid)

I know it is a different situation because my kids are going to be bombarded with presents the next day and then a couple weeks after that we are taking them to a water park.

Yes I guess I do believe every kid should have a present under the tree, but that present doesn't have to be expensive.

[whoisjohngalt]

Why do you guys think that every child should have at least something for Christmas?

Again, is it the "child" part or the Christmas part?

[yogiii]

Matchbox cars are $1, there are things in the $1 bins at Target. If she can scrape together $3, each kid should have something.

[ArchietheDragon]

Well, it has the be the Christmas part.   Jewish kids, or Muslim kids don't get presents for Christmas/ 

[Deleted]

Dec 8, 2015 10:16:36 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Why do you guys think that every child should have at least something for Christmas?

Again, is it the "child" part or the Christmas part?

My 13 year old would be fine if I said no presents this year, we're broke.  But the 5 year old wouldn't understand why Santa skipped him and all his friends got something.  It's supposed to be this happy, magical morning.  It wouldn't have to be much to do this either. 

[muttleynfelix]

If the child believed in Santa, then I think it would be truly heartbreaking for the kid not to have a single present.

[MJ2.0]

Dec 8, 2015 10:17:42 GMT -5 yogiii said:

Matchbox cars are $1, there are things in the $1 bins at Target. If she can scrape together $3, each kid should have something.

or even hit up the Dollar Store. There are coloring books and crayons, bottles of bubbles, pretend toy playsets, dolls, etc. for really cheap. Like PPs have said, doesn't need to be pricey stuff.

[giramomma]

I think it's both.

It's because of the expectations/traditions of receiving gifts. I am fine with my DH not getting me an anniversary present or something small for Christmas or my birthday. But, I'm an adult and i understand these things.

My kids would not be fine if they didn't get anything for their birthday or Christmas. It's the only times out of the year that they get wants. I'm sure DS's friends that are Jewish (who also have Santa come and visit), would be upset if they didn't have any gifts from Santa or Hanukkah. Trust me, I've been through lean Christmases where I was told that being together was enough. When you are already with your family 24/7, celebrating Christmas with them isn't exactly more special. We were also womb and tomb Catholics growing up, so there wasn't even much emphasis on the religious aspects.

That said, there are a ton of ways to make money stretch with a little resolve. I stuffed DD2's St Nick stocking with 2 books, a washcloth, a DVD, a large toy truck, some chapstick, bathtub crayons, and a small bath toy for $25. That would have been fine for Christmas.

[cktc]

The thing I used to dread most about years without gifts was kids asking what I got when we returned to school. 

[973beachbum]

We had a time when we were pretty hard up.  The kids still got presents but not what most would call a present.  Some things in the stockings were actual food.  Purple ketchup, pepperoni and the makings of smores are the ones that still get asked for actually.  So giving a present didn't actually mean no food.

I also started holding off on giving clothes.  I never gave underwear, except for socks in the stocking.   But most if not all new clothes were wrapped and under the tree.  So they wore last years clothes for the first month of winter?  It really did make for a festive Christmas.  To this day I am not sure my daughter remembers how little she actually got in terms of presents.

I will add that I bought most of the clothes and whatever toys they got all through the year.  So it wasn't one big spend.  That way I could get new clothes on clearance yet spend really little.  It did require some good closet space though.

[Deleted]

I padded the gift number with clothes and food for Christmas a few lean years too.  Older son was on an Ensure kick for a while, and I remember one year I got a 12 pack and hung them from the tree.  He was thrilled. 

[ArchietheDragon]

we put toothpaste, toothbrushes, hair ties, etc, in stockings.  It is what my parents did, probably to stretch the dollar.  

[yogiii]

The food items are usually still my favorite gifts.

[muttleynfelix]

Yep, my son needs a second pair of shoes pretty badly (we always get a pair in the next size up for church and when we want him to have non-dirty shoes, so he has 1 pair that fits, but his everyday pair is falling apart, so it is time for a new pair of nicer shoes), but we are holding off until Christmas and giving them to him then. Since he is getting a pair of shoes, DD is too. Even though she has a little less need, but she'll need them soon.

[HoneyBBQ]

Dec 8, 2015 10:16:36 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Why do you guys think that every child should have at least something for Christmas?

Again, is it the "child" part or the Christmas part?

It's the child part. Children think Christmas is magic. That's the whole point of being a kid is believing in magic.

[Deleted]

We have a lot of toyathons and such around here at Christmas time and I always think of the MASH episode when Charles gave this all these wonderful chocolate bars to the kids at the orphanage. Father Mulcahey sold them to buy the kids food and fix the orphanage and stuff like that. If a family is so poor there are no gifts there are a whole bunch of things that will have a longer impact on their quality of life for less money.

[giramomma]

See, I don't do clothing. That wouldn't really work for us, anyway, since I haven't had to buy much clothing for a while. DS was steady for a few years. DD2 wears most of DD1's clothing, and DD1 gets hand me downs from a friend.

No matter how bad shape we were in, I couldn't wrap up hand me down clothing to pad Christmas. Besides, DD1 would say to DD2 "Oh, I remember wearing that.." and DD1 goes through clothing from my friend before it has a chance to actually get in our house. So, I'm not sure it would work.

Again, I was told to feel grateful that I was purchased new clothing, on clearance, at a discount, etc growing up. Now as a parent, it bothers me that I should have been grateful for something that parents are supposed to do. I don't ask my kids to be grateful that I get up and go to work so that they can eat every day. And I'm not grateful when they do the chores they are expected to do. Because you, know, normal expectations.

[emma1420]

Dec 8, 2015 11:09:10 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

Dec 8, 2015 10:16:36 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Why do you guys think that every child should have at least something for Christmas?

Again, is it the "child" part or the Christmas part?

It's the child part. Children think Christmas is magic. That's the whole point of being a kid is believing in magic.

And it's not helped by the fact the myth of Santa Claus is hammered home so much.   I suspect almost every child under a certain age believes in Santa Claus or hopes that there is a Santa Claus, even if they tell that they don't.  To me, Xmas is the one day of year, when a child should be able to believe in magic.  But, in many ways I feel like everyone should receive something at Xmas.  To have one day a year where they know that they are remembered and cared for by others.

I also agree with everyone else that presents do not need to be expensive.  And personally, I don't care for people who make appeals of that kind of nature on social media.  But, then where I work we used to adopt some families for Xmas and purchase presents for them.  We stopped when the shopping lists we would be provided with included items most of could not afford or would not buy for our own children.  

[Deleted]

I didn't do the token socks and underwear last year and older son was disappointed.  He is getting insulated coveralls this year.  I'm sick of him borrowing mine and he's bigger than me now anyhow, so they don't fit him very well. 

[emma1420]

Dec 8, 2015 11:14:53 GMT -5 giramomma said:

See, I don't do clothing. That wouldn't really work for us, anyway, since I haven't had to buy much clothing for a while. DS was steady for a few years. DD2 wears most of DD1's clothing, and DD1 gets hand me downs from a friend.

No matter how bad shape we were in, I couldn't wrap up hand me down clothing to pad Christmas. Besides, DD1 would say to DD2 "Oh, I remember wearing that.." and DD1 goes through clothing from my friend before it has a chance to actually get in our house. So, I'm not sure it would work.

Again, I was told to feel grateful that I was purchased new clothing, on clearance, at a discount, etc growing up. Now as a parent, it bothers me that I should have been grateful for something that parents are supposed to do. I don't ask my kids to be grateful that I get up and go to work so that they can eat every day. And I'm not grateful when they do the chores they are expected to do. Because you, know, normal expectations.

I kind of agree with this.  Although a lot of that is colored by the fact that through my teenage years the only time I got clothes was at Xmas unless I purchased them myself.   

I don't think clothes are necessarily a bad Xmas gift.  And if you are on a budget then it's a good use of funds.  I just think if you have the budget that clothes should be something in addition to a non-practical item and/or be something that wouldn't ordinarily be purchased during the rest of the year.  

[Deleted]

I agree that it's the child and Christmas thing.

At our school, clubs, etc. used to sponsor children at Christmas, spending about $100 total to buy gifts for elementary school kids.  Then a few years ago (when the recession hit), this was changed to provide gifts for our high school students who were getting nothing.  The thinking was that there were usually resources for younger kids to receive gifts but not for teenagers.

So it's that same "no child should be left without presents under the Christmas tree" idea.  But at what point are children no longer children?  These are kids 14+.  A lot of things they want aren't available at the Dollar Store.  They want Ipods, giftcards, videos,  video games, costume jewelry and make-up, and so on.  And these weren't just gifts to have gifts under the tree.  The kids filled out a wish list.

I couldn't decide how I felt about it.  I still can't.  

[MJ2.0]

Dec 8, 2015 11:36:16 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

I agree that it's the child and Christmas thing.

At our school, clubs, etc. used to sponsor children at Christmas, spending about $100 total to buy gifts for elementary school kids.  Then a few years ago (when the recession hit), this was changed to provide gifts for our high school students who were getting nothing.  The thinking was that there were usually resources for younger kids to receive gifts but not for teenagers.

So it's that same "no child should be left without presents under the Christmas tree" idea.  But at what point are children no longer children?  These are kids 14+.  A lot of things they want aren't available at the Dollar Store.  They want Ipods, giftcards, videos,  video games, costume jewelry and make-up, and so on.  And these weren't just gifts to have gifts under the tree.  The kids filled out a wish list.

I couldn't decide how I felt about it.  I still can't.  

they want what normal kids have. They just want to fit in and not have to be grateful to get a pair of clean socks.

[tractor]

We stopped doing Christmas presents for our two teenaged boys at least 5 years ago. They don't seem to mind, I think the belief that everyone needs to have gifts to open on Christmas Day is due to the over commercialization of the holiday. Now with that being said, my kids get what they needs, and most of what they want throughout the year, shoes, sporting equipment, ect. so we don't give gifts due to a lack of funds. We have asked again this year, and neither one wants anything for Christmas, so they will get their wish.

I am not a Scrooge, and often buy gifts for the Angel tree at work and church, but even then, I suspect some of those kids get way too much stuff when it's all done with.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Dec 8, 2015 11:19:34 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I didn't do the token socks and underwear last year and older son was disappointed.  He is getting insulated coveralls this year.  I'm sick of him borrowing mine and he's bigger than me now anyhow, so they don't fit him very well. 

Hell, I am doing the token socks this year for everyone.  Locally, I can get merino wool socks that every woman in my family adores and WANTS and apparently they can't find them where they live.  So earlier this fall, I went out and bought a dozen packages of them (they come in packs of 4).  Each person will get 2 packs but my sister.  She'll get 4 because her daughters steal them!  I restocked me too.

[steph08]

Dec 8, 2015 11:14:53 GMT -5 giramomma said:

See, I don't do clothing. That wouldn't really work for us, anyway, since I haven't had to buy much clothing for a while. DS was steady for a few years. DD2 wears most of DD1's clothing, and DD1 gets hand me downs from a friend.

No matter how bad shape we were in, I couldn't wrap up hand me down clothing to pad Christmas. Besides, DD1 would say to DD2 "Oh, I remember wearing that.." and DD1 goes through clothing from my friend before it has a chance to actually get in our house. So, I'm not sure it would work.

Again, I was told to feel grateful that I was purchased new clothing, on clearance, at a discount, etc growing up. Now as a parent, it bothers me that I should have been grateful for something that parents are supposed to do. I don't ask my kids to be grateful that I get up and go to work so that they can eat every day. And I'm not grateful when they do the chores they are expected to do. Because you, know, normal expectations.

Heck, if we didn't do clothing, most people wouldn't get any gifts at all. One year, I found an awesome sale at CJ Banks and my mom got like 20 new sweaters and shirts for $2 or $3/piece. My dad usually gets a new t-shirt or sweatshirt with our NFL team's logo on it every year from someone in the family. My SIL usually gets some sort of business attire.

I am more than happy to accept clothing for Christmas! That said, I don't think anyone is getting clothing from me this Christmas because they actually gave me lists to buy from!

[wvugurl26]

I got my cousin and his wife Under Armour hoodies. Still need to figure out some other stuff.