Age appropriate for a cell phone?

[Deleted]

My little brother just turned 9 and wants a cell phone. My parents told him when he turns 10 he will get a cell phone (he already knows what type of cell phone he wants).

My step dad was telling my wife how my brother's best friend was asking him how come he did not have a cell phone yet and my step dad told him that my brother doesn't need a cell phone since they both (my mom and him) drops and picks him up at school, drive him to his music lesson (guitar for him and piano for my sister) and all other activities he attends.

My step dad is not even for the idea of a cell phone next year either.... but will go with it since my mother already promised my brother one.

I don't have a kid so really I don't know. My wife says it must be the age now since her little cousin that is 9 also wants a cell phone. I did not get a cell phone till I was 18 and I had to get it myself with my own money, signed my own contract. My wife got her cell phone when she was 16 or so.

Nowdays, what is the age to get a cell phone? Or it depends on if they kid has to take the bus to school or come home alone (as my step dad said if that was the case he might consider it).

My brother turned 9 in Feb and my sister will turn 8 in June.

[alabamagal]

My kids got them at 13, but that was 3 - 8 years ago. It was $10 month extra, free phones only. My kids were involved in many activities, and seemed like they never got through at the time they were supposed to. Before they had phones, seems like I was forever waiting for practices to get over/activities to finish. It was much more convenient for me for them to call when they were through. Definitely worth the $10 per month. And then when they are driving, it is definitely needed.

[cael]

Well... for me this is tough. My first instinct is that kids don't need a freaking cell phone until they're old enough to get a job & pay for it themselves (ages on that can depend obviously). But, some parents make the point that if their kids are at a lot of sports or activities all the time & have to wait for rides sometimes, it is good for them to have one. I don't have kids either so I don't know really.... also depends on the maturity level of the kid I think. My DF's oldest nephew is almost 11 and has one, it used to be the "house" cell phone but now it's his. He's responsible and doesn't abuse the texting or anything, but I don't know... One thing I know for sure is that freaking 10 or 12 year olds do NOT need to be pathologically texting (IMHO - kick their butts off the couch/computer/screen time and send them outside!). I know a teenager (she's 16 or 17) whose parents disabled the texting on her phone, so she just uses it for calls. I like that idea a little better, lol. But, yeah - I don't know really. I do think 10 is young. Guess I will have to wait & see when I have kids what happens.

[cael]

My problem is I see soooo many kids who do nothing but stare at screens all day. TV, ipod, cell phone, computer, etc. I feel super old about this, lol, but I think it can negatively affect kids. I grew up largely TV and "screen" free, and was eased into TV and computers as a teenager, and I think it's a good thing to do. Again that's just what I think. I'm not going to restrict my kids from ever watching TV or going on the computer or ever having a cell phone, but I just don't believe it's necessary for 10 year olds or younger to really have cell phones. Just my opinion.

[sheilaincali]

My son got his first cell phone at age 6. He would spend 8 weeks every summer with his grandparents and we wanted him to be able to call us at any time. We were on a big corporate plan through my employer so the phone was free and my monthly fee was $7. We moved to CA when he was 8 and I liked him having it since it served as a lo-jack of sorts. He biked to school (a block away) and would send a text when he got there and one when he got to his baby-sitters after school.

Now he is nearly 13. We reserve the right to check his phone to see what he is texting to people. Dear lord are 12 year old boys boring! If he downloads any games it comes out of his weekly allowance. Otherwise we haven't ever had any issues with it. I like knowing that I can send him a text if I am running late getting him from school or he can text me when his movie is over etc.

[cael]

I get it Snerd, I do. I just see it differently. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm saying I don't think it's a necessary component to a good life and I wouldn't get my young kid a cell phone just because other kids had one.

[schildi]

Mar 14, 2011 8:36:05 GMT -5 cael said:

My problem is I see soooo many kids who do nothing but stare at screens all day. TV, ipod, cell phone, computer, etc. I feel super old about this, lol, but I think it can negatively affect kids. I grew up largely TV and "screen" free, and was eased into TV and computers as a teenager, and I think it's a good thing to do. Again that's just what I think. I'm not going to restrict my kids from ever watching TV or going on the computer or ever having a cell phone, but I just don't believe it's necessary for 10 year olds or younger to really have cell phones. Just my opinion.

I agree, look at the obesity rates in kids and teens. But that probably has nothing to do with complete lack of exercise, I am sure .... ;D We try to limit our kids screen time, no matter what kind of screen. No, you can't completely avoid it, but you can help to limit it, making sure that a few hours are spent riding the bike or playing outside instead. I somehow think that is more healthy, and our kids will appreciate that when they are older.
I would start with a $10 prepaid cell instead of an iphone for my kids when they get to that age.

[cael]

I know! Like I said I just see it negatively affect so many kids, and that doesn't mean it negatively affects all kids, I know that. They're so saturated with media and yes to some extent it is unavoidable, but you can limit it if you choose to, and I would. I mean, between TV, computer, cell phone, there is one or two of those your kid doesn't always have to be attached to. I realize it's different now than 20 years ago when I could just go outside & roam around my apartment complex for a whole day without being home at all. I do hope someday when I have kids we're fortunate enough to live in a nice house w/ a nice yard they can hang out in.

[cael]

So.... I'm debating cell phones for kids here, and I'm a texting whore myself! I couldn't live without my qwerty keyboard

[schildi]

Mar 14, 2011 8:44:54 GMT -5 cael said:

So.... I'm debating cell phones for kids here, and I'm a texting whore myself! I couldn't live without my qwerty keyboard

I still have an old fashioned prepaid cell that costs me less than $5 per month. Guess what the kids will have, lol.
I have a qwerty keyboard on each of the computers, good enough.

[Deleted]

Mar 14, 2011 8:43:05 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

Unlimited texting is the way to go. You really don't need many minutes cuz they don't actually talk but prefer texting. And, for the qwerty keyboard.

My wife and I are both 25 and we have over 8,000 rollover minutes with AT&T
About 300 will expire this month because we text mostly 95% of the time.

[cael]

Wow. Can you bump your plan down? We would, since we barely use our minutes, but we need the unlimited texting, for me lol

[Deleted]

Mar 14, 2011 8:52:06 GMT -5 cael said:

Wow. Can you bump your plan down? We would, since we barely use our minutes, but we need the unlimited texting, for me lol

we have the lowest family plan available to us and still manage not to use it all.

[busymom]

We didn't get a cell phone for our oldest until the after-school activities made pick-up times unpredictable. Then we got a cheap "pay-as-you-go" phone, in case it got lost or was stolen. I really don't think a 9 year old "needs" a cell phone. Save your money 'til they actually DO need one.

[Deleted]

Mar 14, 2011 9:07:46 GMT -5 busymom said:

I really don't think a 9 year old "needs" a cell phone. Save your money 'til they actually DO need one.

He is not my kid so I really have no say in it

[tractor]

My son who is 13 has been asking, but I have held off. He will start high school next year and I plan on getting him a phone then. As some have said, it's one of the few ways to keep track of them in high school these days. We don't do any texting, so I'm going to have to learn a new trade this year to keep up with him.

[Deleted]

13 or high school - whichever comes first maturity-wise. We plan on getting our kid(s) those pay-as-you-go phones. We'll give them a minutes card every month, but if they use all the minutes up and want more they will have to pay for them.

[sapphire12]

caiwu -- have you looked at the no contract phones.
I have Virgin Mobile. I have the $25 a month plan. Unlimited texting, web, and email. I thought AT&T had something similar for around $50 month to include unlimited talking on their no contract phones.

[lynnerself]

When they are starting to be left on their own anyplace and are responsible enough not to lose it.
In our case, early high school. But that was 10 years ago. I would say around middle school now.

[kimber45]

DS and I "shared" a phone while he was in HS. I would let him take mine if he were going to be driving somewhere, etc. Texting was not an issue at that point. I think we got him his own phone and added him to our plan when he graduated from HS and started college. It was only $10 a month so it was easier to pay that than the hassle of him using mine all the time.

[raeoflyte]

We're not sure yet, but I imagine he'll have one when he's 10.

We're trying to decide when we need to add a home phone for ds. I could call my grandparents before I was 3 years old (and I did pretty much every time I got upset with my parents).

[cael]

I guess my problem with "I can so why not?" is, I see a lot of families with that attitude raising, bratty, entitled kids. I'm NOT saying this is you, Snerd! I'm just making a point. I grew up understanding that I needed to work for things I wanted - not slave labor, but saving my allowance, or babysitting or whatever. Nothing wrong with that.

[sesfw]

'if i was a kid i would much rather play Xbox than CandyLand. Times change.'

The difference between Xbox and CandyLand is the number of people you are with. Also board games are left on the floor/table during FAMILY dinner. I agree with pre-paid phones with no texting. Need to teach the kids how to communicate face to face.

I keep hearing about cyber-bullying and wonder how far reaching the bullying would actually be if the kids had to do it in person. I was bullied as a kid but was able to walk away. The only ones that knew about it were the couple of kids that didn't like me ...... and me. Not everyone in the school by way of FaceBook.

[rmtvbrooks]

I think this is something that each family has to decide for themselves based on the age and maturity levels of the child and whether it is something they feel their child needs. In our case, my daughter got one at age 11, but it had a lot of limits on it. We are with Verizon, and they have a LOT of parental controls available. She is 12 now, and what she is allowed to do has expanded gradually as she proves that she can be responsible. My son, however, is 13 and developmentally disabled. There is a cell phone at home that he can use to call me only; he uses it to call me when he gets home from school. He can just open it and hold the "2" button to call me. He does not carry the phone other places like my daughter. As he gets older and becomes more responsible, his usage will change as well. I think having a cell phone can be a teaching tool for a child; they can learn how to use it responsibly and learn some money lessons at the same time.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

My sister has used HS as the benchmark when her kids get cell phones - only the 2 oldest have them right now. Also, if something happens to their phone, they do not get immediately replaced either, the kid either needs to earn the money themselves to replace it or they get it as a birthday/Christmas gift. Apparently that's kept the loss to a minimum.

[Deleted]

Snerd, I got on the family plan when I was younger, but that was because I was (semi) responsible and I wasn't abusing the privilege of having a phone! This was also before texting was all the rage, so I just used mine to make phone calls. I'm not paying a $500+ bill because my kid decided to send over 1000 texts. And no, the answer is not to just get a plan with unlimited texts. DH and I don't text, so if our kid wants to text they need to be able to pay for it.

Cael, I completely agree with your "entitlement" post too. I did get most of what I wanted when I was younger, but I also knew how to appreciate what I got. So many kids think they're entitled to all this nice stuff. I knew if I acted up, the phone would be replaced by quarters for the pay phone.

[8 Bit WWBG]

I'm feeling the "screen" thing myself. I stare at a computer for most of my work day. I play on my phone or DS on the train (or read, but that is still staring at something), and at home I may watch a bit of TV. That is a LOT of staring at screens. When I get a tablet, its going to be even worse.

Of course I also watch TV while I do cardio. It helps pass the time.

IMO, this whole kids and phones thing (even cell phones in general) of how important that one time it really really pays off is worth the things that can go wrong.

For me, that was a freak coincidence when a train got offloaded to a bus, and then that bus broke down. Dad was waiting for me at the train station, and Mom was at home. With no phones, I couldn't get in touch with either of them. I had to run over a mile to get to a pay phone, to call Mom and tell her what happened, who had to wait for Dad to either come home, or call home, so he could then find out that he needed to drive out again to get me.

[cael]

See, it's OK if you understand the value of things and appreciate them and the work someone put in to get that thing for you. My DF's sister's sister-in-law has 5 kids, they make a lot of money, and the kids get everything they want all the time. They don't appreciate a THING. Funny thing is, the dad is very much not like that - he works hard and tries to make his kids not entitled brats, but his wife ruins it and spoils them. Their 18 year old, who isn't the quickest or brightest kid out there, got a car bought for her when she turned 18, never had a job, they pay for her gas & insurance, no intentions of getting a job, and bitches because they think she should go to community college for 2 years instead of sending her to American, where she'd space out and fail and have no clue how to live independently. The younger girls have had cell phones since they were under 10 I'd say. And - wait for this one - the 8 year old son HAS A FACEBOOK page and uses it. Is that sick or what?! (sorry if anyone's 8 year olds have facebook... I just think that is unnecessary to the point of wrong)

[Apple]

DS is 13, he has one. He is home alone after school and our land line doesn't work all the time (yesterday it was out intermittantly for over half the day). I hate the thought of something happening with him at home and not being able to call (neighbors aren't home during the day so it's not just as easy as walking next door or across the street to borrow a phone). He has my old one and I don't have a text plan for him so he's not allowed to text unless I send him one and tell him to text an answer back (when I'm in an area with bad reception and can't just call him for an answer). He rarely uses it, just when he's at an activity and needs a ride home or I call him on it. Occasionally a friend will call him, but that's rare. He shares my minutes. If he wasn't home alone so much, or the land line actually worked, he probably wouldn't have one. His classmates have the iphone with the data plan and everything--on the ski trip Friday they were taking pictures and uploading them to facebook, they're in 7th grade... I just don't see a need for him to have anything that expensive!

[Sum Dum Gai]

I don't know that there's really a right age. It depends on other stuff. For us the oldest is 10 and still has no reason to have a cell phone. She's playing sports, but I'm an assistant coach on her team and my wife is the score keeper. One of us is always helping run the practices, and we'll both be at every game, so she won't be stuck waiting for a ride or anything.

My wife actually became the "mean mom" last practice over a cell phone. One of the other girls had her cell phone in the front pocket of her hoodie and it kept falling out when she would run or field a ball, and at one point she was standing in the infield texting while they were doing batting practice with hard balls, so my wife took her phone for the remainder of practice.