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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Oct 12, 2015 15:30:45 GMT -5
I tried to suggest counseling to a friend once, and she launched into a rant about how she hadn't sunken that low yet. I was only suggesting it because I thought it might help. I have been through years of counseling, and she knows this about me. I still think she could really benefit from it, but I will never suggest it to her again. The stigma against mental illness hurts a lot of people.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 12, 2015 15:41:54 GMT -5
If I had enough in investments to give me 60k a year at age 50, I am sure as hell retiring. And if I do nothing but sit on my ass, that is my prerogative.
This is interesting. You think $60K a year is enough?
If I were 50 years old, living alone with no dependents and no spouse, you better believe a guaranteed $60K/year for life would be enough for me to retire and never look back.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2015 15:49:26 GMT -5
This is interesting. You think $60K a year is enough?
If I were 50 years old, living alone with no dependents and no spouse, you better believe a guaranteed $60K/year for life would be enough for me to retire and never look back. That's 40% more than I make now and my mortgage and kids eat up a huge portion of my income. Without them, I'd be styling! (I mean, financially. My kids do add to my life in other ways! )
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Oct 12, 2015 15:51:25 GMT -5
This is interesting. You think $60K a year is enough?
If I were 50 years old, living alone with no dependents and no spouse, you better believe a guaranteed $60K/year for life would be enough for me to retire and never look back. I don't have any dependents, and $60K is almost twice of what I live on. If I had a consistent $60K coming in after taxes for the rest of my life, I would be living the dream.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Oct 12, 2015 16:02:30 GMT -5
I've got a mortgage while living in a HCOLA area and I get by on less than 60K (after taxes) a year. I assume the biggest variable would be healthcare but even for me those premiums wouldn't put me over 60K a year in expenses. If I were in that situation I'd retire somewhere cheaper and find someway to occupy my time while getting by just fine. Assuming that's 60K a year after taxes to live on that's pretty damn good if it's just you.
Anyways as to the OP I'd like to think that if multiple people told a friend that he or she needed counseling there's something more than there than that person just not working. The only people I've honestly said that about in my opinion really did need it and it wasn't because of some one off situation. They were in a major rut, unhappy and continued down a path of self destruction and/or unhappiness.
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joemilitary
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Post by joemilitary on Oct 12, 2015 17:12:41 GMT -5
That's interesting. Don't get me wrong I think $60K is decent, just not enough to chuck it all and retire.
What state / area do you all live, if you don't mind me asking?
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Oct 12, 2015 17:38:34 GMT -5
That's interesting. Don't get me wrong I think $60K is decent, just not enough to chuck it all and retire.
What state / area do you all live, if you don't mind me asking? When I lived in KY, I lived on roughly half this and paid rent and was contributing to retirement. My dad retired on his SS and pension of about $3000/mo and he was able to save $2000/mo. His house was paid for and medical care covered. He lived in NY (not NYC).
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Oct 12, 2015 17:40:09 GMT -5
I live in Southern CA. However just to clarify, I would stop working if I had enough of a nest egg to reasonably guarantee ~$60K of growth a year for the rest of my lifespan. I don't think I would just up and quit my job if my employer was telling me that they would continue to pay me $60K as a pension for the rest of my life, especially if I had no other assets.
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Oct 12, 2015 17:40:01 GMT -5
Without more information I really can't tell if she person needs counseling.
I have a friend who is in her early 60's, doesn't date, doesn't do much other than work and stay at home. She doesn't have ant hobbies other than gardening and is generally an unhappy person. The one time I suggested she see a mental health counselor, she really went off on me. Oh well, if she wants to be old and unhappy, OK. It's her life.
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Ombud
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your take?
Oct 12, 2015 19:16:39 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Ombud on Oct 12, 2015 19:16:39 GMT -5
That's interesting. Don't get me wrong I think $60K is decent, just not enough to chuck it all and retire.
What state / area do you all live, if you don't mind me asking? I live in the SF Bay Area. Heard we're HCOL. Mortgage pd, little debt, very low prop taxes, 1900 net pension (retired early @ 50 ... got bored & went into a new field). I could do it on 5k net a month. Any less & I wouldn't be able to gift as much as I do
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Oct 13, 2015 10:57:26 GMT -5
I read into it that the friends are the kind that think you should be experiencing things with them. (not to start a tangent topic...) like the ones who bitch about how broke they are, how they don't get to do what they want, and that their life is so hard... then in the next breath say "You need to have kids it's so rewarding. What's wrong with you, why don't you want kids" Or the writer forgot to mention in her letter she now owns 42 cats and will be featured on next week's hoarders episode. See I read into it that her friends are concerned because she stopped working, lives alone, has no kids or spouse and just stopped doing anything. I'm interpreting what her friends are saying as not 'retiring from work' but more 'retiring from life.' I would love to retire tomorrow and would, if I had the money, but I have about 100 other things I would rather be doing if I didn't need a damn job. There isn't anything wrong with that. But if you stop working and then become a vegetable, not bothering to shower - I can see how her friends might urge her to engage with life again. It would concern me greatly if one of my friends or family members simply stopped participating in all aspects of life. That's what I hate about these advice columns. The person writing the letter gets to spin it their way. You never get to hear the other side. Is she plagued with nosy, bossy friends, or is she sitting in front of the TV in pajamas eating cereal all day? We'll never know.
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Oct 13, 2015 15:31:23 GMT -5
Maybe the letter writer is an introvert and her friends are extroverts? My dad had a friend who bought a campground and lived there year round. He could support himself by opening the place up for just a few weeks in the summer, and the rest of the time (including the lonely winters) he had the whole place to himself. I could see that being one person's dream and another person's nightmare.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2015 15:44:51 GMT -5
Maybe the letter writer is an introvert and her friends are extroverts? My dad had a friend who bought a campground and lived there year round. He could support himself by opening the place up for just a few weeks in the summer, and the rest of the time (including the lonely winters) he had the whole place to himself. I could see that being one person's dream and another person's nightmare. Yeah, like The Shining. Jack went nuts, but I'd love it!
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Oct 13, 2015 15:50:27 GMT -5
I thought it seemed pretty awesome, but he did eventually have to move back to civilization when his chronic disease got worse.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Oct 13, 2015 16:04:28 GMT -5
The only thing that struck me as being an "issue" is that this person felt that writing Dear Abby was any kind of an answer! I'm not as old as she is, but in much the same situation other than being unemployed. It's perspective. I don't need or want a significant other in my life right now. It's not a case of being "asexual" or anything like that. I just don't want it right now. Again....perspective. I personally think that a person who HAS to have a significant other or have to be dating is the one with the real problem, but that's just me.
I take huge exception to the implication this person isn't a contributing member of society because he/she does not work outside the home. It's obvious he/she isn't some type of hermit as he/she obviously has friends. I agree with whoever said there may be issues that aren't in the letter that they notice and think counseling could help with, but if there aren't? Leave the poor person alone.
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