Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 12, 2015 8:33:35 GMT -5
WHERE does it the say the LW has had a "change of personality"? Wow.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 12, 2015 8:34:24 GMT -5
Quick! Call 911 and have her committed!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 12, 2015 8:34:44 GMT -5
WHERE does it the say the LW has had a "change of personality"? Wow. It doesn't.
I'm speculating as to why his/her friends would recommend counseling.
WHY are you being such an argumentative twit?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 12, 2015 8:36:34 GMT -5
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 12, 2015 8:36:54 GMT -5
It's a message board. I think we are supposed to discuss and give our opinions. I just did. Think I am allowed to do that here last time I checked.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 12, 2015 8:38:16 GMT -5
Quick! Call 911 and have her committed! Now that's being melodramatic. I'm pretty sure nobody wants to have her committed. However, people have noted that the LW may have undergone a personality change that causes concern to her friends.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 12, 2015 8:39:08 GMT -5
It's a message board. I think we are supposed to discuss and give our opinions. I just did. Think I am allowed to do that here last time I checked. You can give an opinion without being an obnoxious and condescending boor. You need some counseling on that.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 12, 2015 8:39:29 GMT -5
Oh please, people write in asking which nostril to pick first, right or left.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 12, 2015 8:41:42 GMT -5
It's a message board. I think we are supposed to discuss and give our opinions. I just did. Think I am allowed to do that here last time I checked. You can give an opinion without being an obnoxious and condescending boor. You need some counseling on that. I've noticed that about a few posters. They never respond with anything but snark....how sad their real life must be that they have to come to these boards and be obnoxious in every single post.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 12, 2015 8:42:04 GMT -5
It's a message board. I think we are supposed to discuss and give our opinions. I just did. Think I am allowed to do that here last time I checked. You can give an opinion without being an obnoxious and condescending boor. You need some counseling on that. OK, didn't know name calling was allowed but sure.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Oct 12, 2015 8:43:09 GMT -5
I do think it's weird to never have dated. I get it not wanting to date now, but when you are in your 20's and 30's? yeah, I think that's weird.
Other than that - I think her friends are just jealous that she doesn't have to work.
Although.....my parents have very close friends whose son never dated and he is in his 30s. I think his mom was/is freaking out so much that she wanted to get him a hooker bc she is convinced he is still a virgin. But he is weird. I've known his since he was born and while he has no issues you can diagnose, yeah, he is strange.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 12, 2015 8:44:07 GMT -5
You can give an opinion without being an obnoxious and condescending boor. You need some counseling on that. I've noticed that about a few posters. They never respond with anything but snark....how sad their real life must be that they have to come to these boards and be obnoxious in every single post. Well that's interesting cuz i feel exactly the same way about some of you! lol
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Oct 12, 2015 8:44:11 GMT -5
I popped into the article, but everything from both sides was already in the post. Nowhere does the letter writer mention any activities, being happy or fulfilled, or how they spend their time. I think that is kind of a red flag if the LW was looking for abby to say "no need for counselling". I did think abbys reply was grossly insufficient. That's exactly what I see. There is no mention of volunteering or any activities that the LW does. The response to the friends is "I have money," well, gee, maybe the friends aren't concerned about the LW's ability to pay for stuff.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 12, 2015 8:45:03 GMT -5
I've noticed that about a few posters. They never respond with anything but snark....how sad their real life must be that they have to come to these boards and be obnoxious in every single post. Well that's interesting cuz i feel exactly the same way about some of you! lol Maybe we are noticing the same posters :-)
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 12, 2015 8:45:28 GMT -5
I popped into the article, but everything from both sides was already in the post. Nowhere does the letter writer mention any activities, being happy or fulfilled, or how they spend their time. I think that is kind of a red flag if the LW was looking for abby to say "no need for counselling". I did think abbys reply was grossly insufficient. That's exactly what I see. There is no mention of volunteering or any activities that the LW does. The response to the friends is "I have money," well, gee, maybe the friends aren't concerned about the LW's ability to pay for stuff. well, this is YM. "I have money" is all that matters!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2015 8:48:06 GMT -5
I don't think it's odd to not care about working anymore. If I could pull in 60K a year without being here, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I've never had a career drive which is probably why I've never made much. Not dating her entire life is a bit odd, but then again, I probably be better off if I hadn't.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2015 8:50:38 GMT -5
I don't really see anything wrong with being retired at 50 with a 60K income. I would hope this person is doing more during their day than watching TV for 12 hours straight - OR - just making daily 'shopping' runs to get out of the house. I would hope they are pursuing hobbies or going out and doing things they are interested in. I, too, wonder if the writer's friends have noticed some changes that would have caused them to suggest 'getting counseling' or the generic "getting a job" or doing something outside of one's home. What if the writer has become more 'socially isolated' or has stopped inviting people over to their house? I agree with both points. I'm on the Early Retirement Board and heck, many of them ASPIRE to retire at 50.
If the writer is behaving in ways that cause concern, the friends may be right about getting counseling. He/she may very well still be "contributing to society". I retired a year ago and I won't bore you with the list of things I do on a volunteer basis but frankly, it's gotten a little long and I need to cut back.
Now excuse me while I go back to overhauling my church's Web site.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 12, 2015 8:51:43 GMT -5
I don't really see anything wrong with being retired at 50 with a 60K income. I would hope this person is doing more during their day than watching TV for 12 hours straight - OR - just making daily 'shopping' runs to get out of the house. I would hope they are pursuing hobbies or going out and doing things they are interested in. I, too, wonder if the writer's friends have noticed some changes that would have caused them to suggest 'getting counseling' or the generic "getting a job" or doing something outside of one's home. What if the writer has become more 'socially isolated' or has stopped inviting people over to their house? I agree with both points. I'm on the Early Retirement Board and heck, many of them ASPIRE to retire at 50.
If the writer is behaving in ways that cause concern, the friends may be right about getting counseling. He/she may very well still be "contributing to society". I retired a year ago and I won't bore you with the list of things I do on a volunteer basis but frankly, it's gotten a little long and I need to cut back.
Now excuse me while I go back to overhauling my church's Web site.
Have you looked into counseling?
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Oct 12, 2015 9:17:27 GMT -5
Some people are just asexual, or that's what I've read anyway.
If the letter writer were living it up as an early retiree, would the friends be suggesting counseling? Probably not. They probably suggest it because they think the letter writer has given up on life.
(And yeah, I'd totally retire on a $60k income. That's not just a few investments and a small inheritance though. I guess everything is relative, though.)
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Oct 12, 2015 14:18:37 GMT -5
My brother is almost 40 and has never dated (as far as I know). He is well liked and has plenty of friends. If I had to speculate, I would guess that fear of rejection stops him from asking women out. We both have anxiety, and I probably wouldn't have dated much either if I had to do the asking and pursuing. My SO also has a friend who doesn't date. I think he is probably asexual. He definitely has less relationship drama than anyone else I know. Regarding contributing to society, I actually do much more of this now that I am unemployed. I enjoy volunteering, but I can't see myself doing nearly as much once I am back to working a 40+ hour week.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2015 14:23:03 GMT -5
My brother is almost 40 and has never dated (as far as I know). He is well liked and has plenty of friends. If I had to speculate, I would guess that fear of rejection stops him from asking women out. We both have anxiety, and I probably wouldn't have dated much either if I had to do the asking and pursuing. My SO also has a friend who doesn't date. I think he is probably asexual. He definitely has less relationship drama than anyone else I know. Regarding contributing to society, I actually do much more of this now that I am unemployed. I enjoy volunteering, but I can't see myself doing nearly as much once I am back to working a 40+ hour week. Holy crap! Are you my sister? My almost 40 brother is the same way... BUT, he was home for a couple weeks in September (he'd been living in Alaska for years) and apparently fell head over heels in love during that time, because 8 days after returning to Alaska, he headed right back and is now living with her. We're all still shell shocked.
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Oct 12, 2015 14:29:15 GMT -5
It's funny that he finally met someone in Alaska. That's usually where people tell single women to go because the male to female ratio is so skewed.
EDIT: I just reread MPL's post and realized that he met his girlfriend on the visit back home from Alaska. I hope it works out!
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joemilitary
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Post by joemilitary on Oct 12, 2015 14:33:02 GMT -5
Nah. Most people just want confirmation that they are right. lol You are absolutely correct.
I concur
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 12, 2015 14:34:11 GMT -5
It's funny that he finally met someone in Alaska. That's usually where people tell single women to go because the male to female ratio is so skewed. EDIT: I just reread MPL's post and realized that he met his girlfriend on the visit back home from Alaska. I hope it works out! Maybe it's not really a female person. **shrugs** When I read it I first thought a man and that maybe he's on the down low and doesn't want to be judged by friends who may not be socially liberal. But there are many people in the world who feel if you aren't doing things as they are doing you must be weird. I've come to the conclusion they just prefer that everybody be as miserable as they are in what they are doing. And I'm totally a sexual.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2015 14:43:29 GMT -5
Holy crap! Are you my sister? My almost 40 brother is the same way... BUT, he was home for a couple weeks in September (he'd been living in Alaska for years) and apparently fell head over heels in love during that time, because 8 days after returning to Alaska, he headed right back and is now living with her. We're all still shell shocked. What happened give us the scoop! That's about the entire story! He came home to be the best man in a friend's wedding and met up with a girl that he'd known before while here. I think she was part of their social circle for a long time back but they just didn't think of each other that way before or she was with someone else...not sure. She's either divorced or not with whoever she was with and has a daughter around age 5 or 6. Anyhow, my Dad and stepmom said they hardly saw him the two weeks he was back as he was with her all the time and they were making plans for her to come up for his 40th birthday, but he decided he couldn't wait I guess. Seriously, totally out of the blue thing. NEVER would have expected him to do this. Alaska was his life.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Oct 12, 2015 14:45:19 GMT -5
What happened give us the scoop! That's about the entire story! He came home to be the best man in a friend's wedding and met up with a girl that he'd known before while here. I think she was part of their social circle for a long time back but they just didn't think of each other that way before or she was with someone else...not sure. She's either divorced or not with whoever she was with and has a daughter around age 5 or 6. Anyhow, my Dad and stepmom said they hardly saw him the two weeks he was back as he was with her all the time and they were making plans for her to come up for his 40th birthday, but he decided he couldn't wait I guess. Seriously, totally out of the blue thing. NEVER would have expected him to do this. Alaska was his life. Maybe Alaska was out of hand lotion.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2015 14:47:53 GMT -5
That's about the entire story! He came home to be the best man in a friend's wedding and met up with a girl that he'd known before while here. I think she was part of their social circle for a long time back but they just didn't think of each other that way before or she was with someone else...not sure. She's either divorced or not with whoever she was with and has a daughter around age 5 or 6. Anyhow, my Dad and stepmom said they hardly saw him the two weeks he was back as he was with her all the time and they were making plans for her to come up for his 40th birthday, but he decided he couldn't wait I guess. Seriously, totally out of the blue thing. NEVER would have expected him to do this. Alaska was his life. Maybe Alaska was out of hand lotion. Maybe. He never seemed that into dating or girls either. This is the first I've known him to be with anyone and he's going to be 40.
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joemilitary
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Post by joemilitary on Oct 12, 2015 14:48:56 GMT -5
If I had enough in investments to give me 60k a year at age 50, I am sure as hell retiring. And if I do nothing but sit on my ass, that is my prerogative.
This is interesting. You think $60K a year is enough?
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Oct 12, 2015 14:56:41 GMT -5
It's funny that he finally met someone in Alaska. That's usually where people tell single women to go because the male to female ratio is so skewed. EDIT: I just reread MPL's post and realized that he met his girlfriend on the visit back home from Alaska. I hope it works out! Maybe it's not really a female person. **shrugs** When I read it I first thought a man and that maybe he's on the down low and doesn't want to be judged by friends who may not be socially liberal. But there are many people in the world who feel if you aren't doing things as they are doing you must be weird. I've come to the conclusion they just prefer that everybody be as miserable as they are in what they are doing. And I'm totally a sexual. One of my friends tried to convince me that my brother (who she had never met) was actually gay. I can see why she would assume that considering some of the details. He lives in a very conservative state, and he has had the same (male) roommate most of his adult life. I would be really surprised if that was the case though. No one in my brother's immediate family would judge him, and his roommate's brother has been out of the closet for years. My SO's brother also doesn't date. For him, it seems like the hassle of being in a relationship just isn't worth the benefits. Whatever floats your boat.
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quince
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Post by quince on Oct 12, 2015 15:04:13 GMT -5
Either the letter writer should have said "My friends say that I seem more withdrawn/that I've changed since being unemployed, and I should see a counselor", or the letter writer needs new friends.
If they are saying "have counseling because you want to retire at 50 with sufficient funds", fuck them.
If they are saying "have counseling because you're different, and you don't seem happy", listen.
Tying the decision to retire to an age instead of financial readiness/health need is stupid. It leads to people retiring when they have no resources and being screwed, or working at a job they hate that drains them when they've already got enough money.
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