Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 23, 2015 15:24:44 GMT -5
Because of this post I watched a few.
The Cockatoo meltdown was pretty funny.
That cracked me up! There really are a lot of such videos available and not all are of the same bird. I'm going to have to work my way through them. They're really too funny to miss. I wish someone had one of a myna. I'll have to look for one. They're really better "talkers" than the birds shown. But that's the fun part of cockatoos-the incomprehensible mutterings of grumpy old men and women.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 23, 2015 16:33:50 GMT -5
That cracked me up! There really are a lot of such videos available and not all are of the same bird. I'm going to have to work my way through them. They're really too funny to miss. I wish someone had one of a myna. I'll have to look for one. They're really better "talkers" than the birds shown. But that's the fun part of cockatoos-the incomprehensible mutterings of grumpy old men and women. Yeah. The muttering does add to the hilarity, for sure! Mynas are native to Indonesia. You don't have to teach 'em to talk. They learn on their own. We had one that hung around in our back garden. It sounded just like my late DH and, of course, learned only the "best" of our language. Cursed like a sailor! Interestingly, the Bali myna (jalak Bali) is white with black wing tips and tail tip, and blue skin showing around its eyes. A really beautiful bird but I don't think they talk.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2015 16:49:18 GMT -5
My father likes to point out that in his day, you didn't have to eat what was made for dinner. But you'd either not be leaving the table until you DID eat it, or you wouldn't be getting anything else and whatever you didn't eat would be waiting for you come breakfast. Back then, there wasn't food to waste. If my kids didn't want a specific food on a particular day, I didn't force it on them but that was what the meal was if they wanted to eat. I definitely didn't make them eat food they genuinely disliked, if I wanted something I knew they didn't like, I'd offer them another option. There are some foods I don't like the taste or texture of and I'd be upset if someone made me eat it, so I wouldn't do that to my child. Plus, my daughter wasn't really a picky eater, but I learned very quickly not to make her eat anything she said she didn't like. If I made her eat it, I'd see it again.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 23, 2015 16:53:05 GMT -5
My father likes to point out that in his day, you didn't have to eat what was made for dinner. But you'd either not be leaving the table until you DID eat it, or you wouldn't be getting anything else and whatever you didn't eat would be waiting for you come breakfast. Back then, there wasn't food to waste. If my kids didn't want a specific food on a particular day, I didn't force it on them but that was what the meal was if they wanted to eat. I definitely didn't make them eat food they genuinely disliked, if I wanted something I knew they didn't like, I'd offer them another option. There are some foods I don't like the taste or texture of and I'd be upset if someone made me eat it, so I wouldn't do that to my child. Plus, my daughter wasn't really a picky eater, but I learned very quickly not to make her eat anything she said she didn't like. If I made her eat it, I'd see it again. Boiled okra immediately comes to mind for me. Once was more than enough.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2015 17:11:06 GMT -5
Boiled okra. Ewwww!
I had to work one Mother's Day and a male coworker decided to be nice and surprise me and another female coworker by bringing us lunch when he went out. I opened the plate and sat there staring at it, wondering how the hell I was gonna get out of that one. We're in the south and he's a country boy. The meat on our plates was oxtails. WTH?! No way was I eating that.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Aug 23, 2015 18:20:29 GMT -5
Many times kids will refuse to eat something because they have a sensitivity or allergy to that particular food but don't know how to verbalize that other than refusing to eat.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Aug 23, 2015 19:33:22 GMT -5
OK, the cockatoo video was hilarious. Cranky kids? Heck, my maternal grandmother used to sound like that when she complained. And she complained a lot. I don't have kids, but having worked in the courts and law enforcement, I've seen too many examples of kids who wind up in trouble because their parents were absent, or just didn't care enough to know what they were doing, where they were doing with and with whom. The OP, and all parents, should be as strict and disciplined as is necessary. The kids I saw who were in trouble were often no different to start with than any other kids - they push and test boundaries, get mouthy and do whatever they can think of to find the limits. The difference is that when there are adults who push back, set limits and let them know what is and isn't acceptable behavior, the kids usually fall in a relatively straight line. The rest fall by the wayside. And once in that wayside, rescue is really difficult.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Aug 24, 2015 5:17:21 GMT -5
Reading over these posts I can only think of my Mom & her saying to my younger brother:
May you only have a kid just like you (the Italian, Greek, Jewish…………mother's curse).
Oh, and he did.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Aug 24, 2015 7:43:54 GMT -5
Sounds like you got a dramatic child. My condolences.
It won't kill a kid to miss a meal occasionally.
I never made DS eat anything he didn't want to eat, because I can remember all the battles my mom had with little sister over making her eat. Almost every dinner became a shouting contest, with little sister ending up sitting at the table sobbing in front of her plate while the rest of us left to go do other things. DS always had the option to eat a peanut butter sandwich, if he didn't like what was on the table - but having a melt down because he didn't like what we were having for dinner? He would have been in his room, dinnerless, too.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2015 8:36:09 GMT -5
LOL... when I read the OP all I could think of was Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are. I don't have kids... I don't think swasat's a bad mom... I don't think missing a dinner will cause any harm. I do think that kids need to learn how to deal with the "wild things" - ie their emotions. Some kids do better with it than others. Maybe in this case it's not so much that lesson in "learning about consquences" needs to be learned but rather a lesson in HOW to deal with one's emotions... When things are calmer, would it be worthwhile to revisit the "behavior" and maybe talk about ways DD can "wrangle" her "wild things"? Sometimes you <-- the generic you can't figure things out on your own. My younger son has a much harder time with this than older. He can be...challenging. swasat - No flames from me! I've done the same thing a time or two, usually it's for their own good so I don't kill them over dinner.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 24, 2015 8:49:24 GMT -5
Sounds like you got a dramatic child. My condolences. It won't kill a kid to miss a meal occasionally. I never made DS eat anything he didn't want to eat, because I can remember all the battles my mom had with little sister over making her eat. Almost every dinner became a shouting contest, with little sister ending up sitting at the table sobbing in front of her plate while the rest of us left to go do other things. DS always had the option to eat a peanut butter sandwich, if he didn't like what was on the table - but having a melt down because he didn't like what we were having for dinner? He would have been in his room, dinnerless, too. Were you a dinner guest at our dining room table when I was a kid? Your sister was exactly like my sister. That poor relationship between my mother and my sister did not end until my mother died.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 24, 2015 9:36:20 GMT -5
Many times kids will refuse to eat something because they have a sensitivity or allergy to that particular food but don't know how to verbalize that other than refusing to eat. Not in my house. My kids refuse to eat something because they're being annoying kids who are trying to figure out where the boundaries are; how far they can push them and to see what happens. They're trying to define themselves somehow. But refusing to eat pepper strips for x amount of time is NOT happening because of an allergy or sensitivity. 3 weeks later, they scarf them down by the plateful. DD doesn't like plain hamburger. And she doesn't like milk. DS will eat damn near anything if we allow him to put ketchup on it. And he's probably going on another growth spurt, God help me, because he's eating everything in sight again and asking for 3rds.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Aug 24, 2015 10:27:11 GMT -5
I have gone through food battles with my nephew.
He asked for something, decided he didn't want it once I made it and wanted something else instead. That doesn't fly with auntie sarcastic.
MELTDOWN followed
He had no lunch at all.
<-- no flames from this NON PARENT.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 24, 2015 10:30:40 GMT -5
My kids refuse to eat something because they're being annoying kids who are trying to figure out where the boundaries are; how far they can push them and to see what happens. They're trying to define themselves somehow. But refusing to eat pepper strips for x amount of time is NOT happening because of an allergy or sensitivity. 3 weeks later, they scarf them down by the plateful.
If it was an allergy she wouldn't come home telling me how she ate X at daycare or grandma's (and yes I check to verify she did actually eat it). Then when I buy it all excited thinking I found something she'll eat. ..she hates X and won't touch it.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 24, 2015 10:40:10 GMT -5
(She's 7, right?) You can tell her if she'd grown up in Busymom's childhood home, Busymom's father would've given her 7 smacks in the butt with a wooden fanny paddle. (We learned young not to mess with my Dad. You got one hit for each year you'd been on this planet.) Missing dinner would've been a preferred punishment. LOL!! Gel's childhood home, too! If I would have said "talk to the hand" to my mother, I would have missed like a month of dinners until I got my teeth replaced. Lord. I cringed just reading it. And ducked!
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Aug 24, 2015 10:57:25 GMT -5
My kids refuse to eat something because they're being annoying kids who are trying to figure out where the boundaries are; how far they can push them and to see what happens. They're trying to define themselves somehow. But refusing to eat pepper strips for x amount of time is NOT happening because of an allergy or sensitivity. 3 weeks later, they scarf them down by the plateful.
If it was an allergy she wouldn't come home telling me how she ate X at daycare or grandma's (and yes I check to verify she did actually eat it). Then when I buy it all excited thinking I found something she'll eat. ..she hates X and won't touch it. DS went through a phase where he only wanted to eat ham. I think he was 2 or 3. So for a while, everything we had was ham. Chicken ham, steak ham, tuna ham, etc. Worked for a while, then he wised up to it, but by then he had eaten enough different meats he no longer refused to eat any meat but ham. Yes, I lied to my kid about ham. Still, there were plenty of foods he refused to try while living in my house but he now eats happily since he started dating his current GF. Shrimp, fresh tomatoes, salsa - it's a very long list. DH reminds me that I also got him to eat a lot of foods his parents could never get him to eat (there was apparently an epic battle over strawberries- yes, strawberries - that went down in DH's family history). I guess it's a genetic thing on DH's side of the family. By the way, the offensive thing about the strawberries, according to DH, was that they had small seeds on the outside of them. Once he finally ate one, under pain of death from his dad, he agreed they are delicious.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 24, 2015 11:00:47 GMT -5
I've NEVER been able to get away with the "chicken is ham" thing with Gwen. Nor have I been able to do the "happy little broccoli tree" thing either. Damn kid is too darn smart for her own good.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 24, 2015 11:14:45 GMT -5
I've NEVER been able to get away with the "chicken is ham" thing with Gwen. Nor have I been able to do the "happy little broccoli tree" thing either. Damn kid is too darn smart for her own good. That's the fun part about DD not liking plain ground beef/hamburger. She's loves beef tacos. She'll eat 1/2 of my fast food hamburger. But if I make hamburgers at home. Nope, not gonna eat it. Or ground meat in spaghetti. Nope, but she'll happily eat meat balls.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 24, 2015 11:24:32 GMT -5
((((hugs))))
DD is 4 and acts like this. We've sent her to bed without dinner more than once. And guess what is waiting for her breakfast the next morning? Her cold dinner. And if she doesn't eat, it goes back to the fridge to wait for lunch. That's as long as she's held out so far.
The rule is she has to take 4 bites of whatever I serve her. If it really is a texture/taste thing then she is allowed to ask for a peanut butter sandwich after she has given the food on her plate a try. She is not allowed to say something is yucky, only that it is not her favorite or that she does not prefer it (trying to start that now so she won't declare food yucky when we go to someone else's house).
Being disrespectful earns her instant room time. She's not allowed to rejoin the family until she can be kind with her words and actions. Since being alone is a fate worse than death to her, she usually gets herself together pretty quick. We also take away favorite toys and put them into time out, then DD has to do kind things for us or help do our chores to earn her toys back. For some reason, putting the toys in time out works SO much better than putting her into time out!!
I really love the Love and Logic principles. It works from preschool through adults Great way of putting the responsibility for choices back on a kid and making them own the consequences - good or bad.
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ohmomto2boys
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Post by ohmomto2boys on Aug 24, 2015 11:29:28 GMT -5
Oh my - good for you for standing your ground! We just did this with our DS - he is 9, but it was snack time. He was throwing a fit over something/fighting with his brother so DH and I told him to go to bed. No snack, no TV. The tears started rolling he was "starving", blah blah blah. We stood firm and he brushed his teeth and went to bed, still crying that he was starving. He slept just fine, got up the next morning and ate breakfast. He survived the night!!! I think he was actually more upset about the no TV and was just using the hungry for sympathy.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 24, 2015 12:42:36 GMT -5
I'm sorry for you all but these stories are so darn funny. DD loved to fish but would get hysterical if you then wanted to eat the fish for dinner. So I lied and told her this was fish from Publix . I never in my life bought fish from Publix. Threatened DS with the fires of hell if he told her. Because he did tell her that veal was baby cows and we had to leave a restaurant because she was crying about it. Up til then, she happily shared veal Marsala with her dad. Sigh.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 24, 2015 13:17:10 GMT -5
And years from now, you can use this as a teachable moment. When your DD is a grownup, with an 8-year-old of her own, and Granny Swasat is visiting and watching DD deal with her DD's meltdown moment, you can simply step up, take your daughter's hands in your own, look her straight in the eyes and say, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S PAYBACK TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mother does this. Frequently. It's not fun. My mom calls it punishment for having sex or some such charming thing. There are so many things wrong with that idea that it's all I can do not to rant so I don't recall the exact phrasing.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 24, 2015 13:23:51 GMT -5
I've NEVER been able to get away with the "chicken is ham" thing with Gwen. Nor have I been able to do the " happy little broccoli tree" thing either. Damn kid is too darn smart for her own good. Mom always made Trees and Cheese for dinner. Lots of Velveeta on it. At least there was some nutrition under all that goop.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 24, 2015 13:46:23 GMT -5
Oh man, we drown our veggies in butter But the kiddos eat them, and heaven knows they can use the fat/calories.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 24, 2015 13:56:12 GMT -5
Mine eat their trees raw. And plain. or at least they do about 1/2 of the time. the remainder of the time, they don't like trees.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Aug 24, 2015 14:00:10 GMT -5
Hugs from me too.
For some reason, she decided that it was time to test how far she could push you - - and now she knows .
Stay strong!
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Aug 24, 2015 14:17:42 GMT -5
I've NEVER been able to get away with the "chicken is ham" thing with Gwen. Nor have I been able to do the "happy little broccoli tree" thing either. Damn kid is too darn smart for her own good. That's the fun part about DD not liking plain ground beef/hamburger. She's loves beef tacos. She'll eat 1/2 of my fast food hamburger. But if I make hamburgers at home. Nope, not gonna eat it. Or ground meat in spaghetti. Nope, but she'll happily eat meat balls. I guess I'm the 30-year-old version of your DD (except for the fast food hamburger part). I don't like hamburgers, but I like tacos and meatballs (and I like turkey burgers). I just don't like hamburgers. And yes, my dad and DH make fun of me at every BBQ.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 24, 2015 14:28:28 GMT -5
That's the fun part about DD not liking plain ground beef/hamburger. She's loves beef tacos. She'll eat 1/2 of my fast food hamburger. But if I make hamburgers at home. Nope, not gonna eat it. Or ground meat in spaghetti. Nope, but she'll happily eat meat balls. I guess I'm the 30-year-old version of your DD (except for the fast food hamburger part). I don't like hamburgers, but I like tacos and meatballs (and I like turkey burgers). I just don't like hamburgers. And yes, my dad and DH make fun of me at every BBQ. My sister didn't eat hamburger until she was about 16 and still isn't a huge fan. Spaghetti? Mom kept a little sauce in the jar separate for her noodles. Tacos? Tostada shell on the griddle, melted cheese on it and put some taco sauce on it.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 24, 2015 14:30:36 GMT -5
I don't think it's all that unusual. I will not ever....not ever....eat a tomato raw. Not on a sandwich and not on a plate cut up. It's horrible. However, I love Italian food and the tomato sauce on/in them. I suppose it's partly a textural thing, but a raw tomato and tomato cooked in some kind of sauce are two different things to me.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 24, 2015 14:32:26 GMT -5
Mine eat their trees raw. And plain. or at least they do about 1/2 of the time. the remainder of the time, they don't like trees. DS only likes the "tree" parts of the broccoli but he LOVES green beans.... both with as little salt/butter as possible. The other day I cut up a pineapple and he tried to tell me pineapple is yucky. I have a rule that he has to take one substantial bite and I'll take it away if he doesn't like it. Well he ate all the pineapple chunks before even touching his beloved blueberries! Can't get this kid to eat tacos or quesadillas filled with anything besides cheese.
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