quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
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Post by quince on Aug 17, 2015 13:43:56 GMT -5
I do think oped and mr are going about handling this fantastically well. I would probably just not meet the fellow: but that is because I am terrible and I don't think people are worth working past their creepy first impression.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
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Post by swamp on Aug 17, 2015 13:48:03 GMT -5
I don't have any problem talking about dungeons and dragons to my kids. I'm a little uncomfortable about discussing bondage with them.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Aug 17, 2015 13:49:46 GMT -5
I do think oped and mr are going about handling this fantastically well. I would probably just not meet the fellow: but that is because I am terrible and I don't think people are worth working past their creepy first impression. I agree. I mean, even if you are a creepy preacher, can you at least get a picture that doesn't make you look like a creepy preacher?
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hoops902
Senior Associate
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 17, 2015 13:51:05 GMT -5
::You apparently think sexual behavior outside the accepted norm corresponds to an increased risk of child molestation; I do not believe that. I care when it becomes obvious that he doesn't understand appropriate boundaries, including how much disclosure of adult behavior is OK and generally appropriate behavior around children.::
I think that? I don't think him being into any kind of crazy sexual shit is a problem at all. I understand that others find it creepy...I certainly haven't said it equates to anything to do with molestation (people can find things creepy without thinking those same things are going to lead to molestation...I don't even think he sounds creepy, but I understand others do).
::I care when it becomes obvious that he doesn't understand appropriate boundaries, including how much disclosure of adult behavior is OK and generally appropriate behavior around children. ::
Did he tell the kids he is into this stuff? I don't think he did. The fact that his interests are listed on a profile that is used for far more than what this homeschool group is using it for isn't necessarily a boundary issue. This isn't a homeschool site where he decided to talk about his fetishes, it's a profile for himself and his interests, that a homeschool group has decided to use for it's own purposes.
If the kids are simply going to google his name and find stuff, then creation of a 2nd profile purely for use with the homeschool group isn't going to solve that since both profiles would come up in a search. Essentially the argument boils down to "he didn't try hard enough to hide his sexual interests". There's a big difference between him going onto a website purely for children and school and telling everyone what he is into sexually, and a group deciding to use a profile which includes his many interests as their method for giving him a profile to use for their group as well (assuming he even knows his interests in sexual activity is going to be shown to everyone who accesses his profile).
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milee
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Post by milee on Aug 17, 2015 14:05:32 GMT -5
::I care when it becomes obvious that he doesn't understand appropriate boundaries, including how much disclosure of adult behavior is OK and generally appropriate behavior around children. ::
Did he tell the kids he is into this stuff? I don't think he did. The fact that his interests are listed on a profile that is used for far more than what this homeschool group is using it for isn't necessarily a boundary issue. This isn't a homeschool site where he decided to talk about his fetishes, it's a profile for himself and his interests, that a homeschool group has decided to use for it's own purposes.
If the kids are simply going to google his name and find stuff, then creation of a 2nd profile purely for use with the homeschool group isn't going to solve that since both profiles would come up in a search. Essentially the argument boils down to "he didn't try hard enough to hide his sexual interests". There's a big difference between him going onto a website purely for children and school and telling everyone what he is into sexually, and a group deciding to use a profile which includes his many interests as their method for giving him a profile to use for their group as well (assuming he even knows his interests in sexual activity is going to be shown to everyone who accesses his profile). Most homeschool groups I've known have been into the kids learning through participating. It's reasonable to assume the kids are going to have access to the Meetup calendar and also profiles of the participants. Kids are likely to be checking the Meetup calendar to see who's participating, which is likely to involve also clicking on the profile of unknown people to see who they are. Kids may even be doing some of the scheduling themselves. In other words, it's highly likely his Meetup profile will be seen by kids in the homeschool group. No need to google. That's the issue.
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hoops902
Senior Associate
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 17, 2015 14:15:38 GMT -5
Sounds to me like the issue is that a homeschooling group is using a social media site which isn't for homeschooling if they are worried about the content their kids will see. No different IMO than if they were using facebook and then offended by the photos of people drinking on the weekends.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 21:23:15 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2015 14:16:34 GMT -5
My kids access meetup to read descriptions and see 'who's going' ... They say they don't really read the profiles. Although they could.
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mroped
Senior Member
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Post by mroped on Aug 17, 2015 16:53:37 GMT -5
What the man does in his private life is entirely his business. By being present there, I just wanna get a read on him and see what he is up to. Never been to one of these gatherings but I have to go because the missus is freaking out. She is in that group one of the more open minded, no prejudice people. Most of the others are a bit more conservative or at least they seem to be. I just wanna make sure that this guy whoever he is gets a fair shake and doesn't get dismissed just because he might have been confused at "what is expected/what would be the norm for this kind of things. It might be as I mentioned before that he is socially awkward and he just went on clicking on anything that seemed to be of interest to him without realizing that he is digging himself a hole. You like being tied up? Fine by me but just don't mention it in front of the kids, any of them or you might end tied up with something else beside silk ropes. You like "hands on"? Please just keep them where I can see them! AT ALL TIMES! Do that and we are good!
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 19, 2015 10:13:23 GMT -5
How'd it go?
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 20, 2015 8:47:14 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2015 9:41:24 GMT -5
I was waiting till I get the last bit of info.
It was a long day. I was at the amusement park with kids all day and then drug my sunburned sweated self to the 7 pm meeting where there were 22+ parents in attendance, 5 new. Both he and his wife came. I honestly didn't get to talk to him much. Husband did and said he thought they were ok, just a little awkward. A friend who was on that mission talked to them extensively and felt the same way. He left early, so I got to talk to his wife more, that was the impression I got as well, a little awkward maybe.. who am I to judge there.
As he left early, I did not get to address the idea of his public profile in person as I wanted to. It has been busy here, so I just now sent off a message saying that, if they wanted to join again, then that was ok, but... basically not to sound intrusive or judgmental, while we are a secular group, we have a great many in the group who are very conservative. In addition, this meetup is focused on children's activities and as we raise independent kids many of the older ones use the meetup themselves. It is obvious you have been using meetup for awhile, and makes sense you would use your existing profile. However, there are some things in your public profile interests which were brought to my attention which, in this group, yada yada...
Haven't gotten a response yet.
They are at least 30 minutes away from closest of our activities though, and while he had said something about thinking it would be a good fit for his 16 year old who has Asperger's, when I talked to her, she was adamant that they had moved in to that district because it was the best for those types of kids and she felt since moving that she 'had her kid back' (said several times), and so I don't think she at least was looking to move him out. I don't work with that district, but she said that the district which I consider the best around here, told her that that district had better supports and they have found it to be so... so...
Their younger kid they are looking to homeschool because he is already doing gymnastics 12 hours a week and they will have to travel further to get him into a come competitive program. So, while they will probably need some support if they choose to do that, I still don't know how active they will be in group activities because that seems like it will take up a lot of time.
Anyway. I'm waiting to hear what he says. I just felt like I needed to say something.
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