d

[quince]

I would be giving whatever it takes to get them out of the house, being all sweet and helpful...and as soon as they are moved out, change the locks and close the bank of mom!

Good luck.

[beergut]

 You will never be able to make it even for your son (you've done more than enough for your daughter), so don't worry about it. 

 As for your daughter, whatever it takes for you to get her out of the house is a lot cheaper than her staying with you any longer. 

 Sometimes one kid needs more parenting than others, but the challenge for parents is to limit the 'parenting' to guidance and help without going overboard with financial assistance. 

[Ombud]

Yeah. I get that but progress is being made. She likes the MFG and DS knows I'll help her. She's applying to rent the lot Tuesday.

Meanwhile on my home front, I have 2 old chairs (great tongue + groove bones but worn) that I'm refinishing. I initially thought to do it in MCKENZIE CHILD style, www.mackenzie-childs.com/shop.axd/ProductDetails?edp_no=830 , but I think 2 side chairs, table, lamp all decked out in a guest bedroom (12×13) would be too overpowering. So now I'm thinking just a lamp? Reupholster to go with lamp? There'll be a full bed + 2 turquoise nightstands in there too. Shelves / baskets in built out closet for minimal clothes storage

Room will be for GS1 & BF when they're home from college on weekends. He's decided he's not going with her & he's always lived here anyway (even b4).

I get my office back + 1 other room that I have no idea what to do with. Piano / guitars stay so a music room again?

[kjto1]

I vote music room!  I would love to have a separate room for my piano - and decorate it in a music theme!

[Ombud]

If music room, I think that's where my version of this goes: www.mackenzie-childs.com/shop.axd/ProductDetails?edp_no=830 . I can't afford the 6k price tag but I can remake stuff that I have so it's similar. Piano is black upright. Miss my grand piano but it's gone. I think know I'm planning on what to do when they move and it's not even certain yet.

Hoping they agree to rent the MFH lot to them.


UPDATED 8/4: She stated mtg with park owner went well -- should hear back within a few days.

UPDATED 8/6: Park will rent to them. They're entering escrow (?) I think I'll write the check to them not her

[Ombud]

[TheHaitian]

Put your house on the market first thing MONDAY and once it sales do not leave a forwarding address!

[Ombud]

LOL. GS1 (who has always lived with me) will get 1 room until he finishes school, I get my office back, and a music room. I no longer have a spare room

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

So you supported a family of 6 for 7 years for $30K.  That's $4200/year or under $400/mo.  There is no way you are going to find a roof to live under for that price.

I would call the $50K an even split.  That's roughly $600/mo that they've paid for a roof over their head, electricity, cable, internet, water, etc.  Even receiving the kids as a tax deduction isn't going to come close to what you have paid over the years OOP.  

However, if you want to break it down, I would and present it to your DD to make her see that her living under your roof has not been without cost to you, even if you were able to declare HOH on your taxes.

[zibazinski]

I'm thinking as each grandchild can escape, they'll be living with you. Are you okay with that? I'm glad for the oldest

[Ombud]

zibazinski, he's not actually living here. It's just his home away from college so no one else can live here. His original room is smaller & will be my music room.

[zibazinski]

Cripe, I thought he was 14.

[Ombud]

Nope. GS1 is 18. Registered at state. Full ride in a 2 bd student apartment inc 15 meals a week

GS2 is 14

[zibazinski]

Is GS2 staying with you? Any updates?

[Ombud]

GS2 is attached to his mom at the hip so wherever she goes / he goes.

They're waiting for the appraisal

[debthaven]

Any updates?

[Ombud]

They're still here but clearing out stuff rapidly. She said they'll be here for another 3 weeks?

[debthaven]

So it's definite that they're moving out?! That's fantastic!!!

[Ombud]

The loan isn't through yet and escrow isn't closed but I'm hopefully. She's walking around like she's the only one who's done this, her kids are pissed that they're moving there, and her friends are trying to talk her out of it

But she really wants it

[debthaven]

Oh Gd fingers crossed Ombud! You need to tell her that if her friends talk her out of it, they can let her and kids move in with them, but you're done.

[taz157]

Aug 28, 2015 10:05:12 GMT -5 debthaven said:

Oh Gd fingers crossed Ombud! You need to tell her that if her friends talk her out of it, they can let her and kids move in with them, but you're done.

Yeah that!

[zibazinski]

Aug 28, 2015 9:31:53 GMT -5 Ombud said:

The loan isn't through yet and escrow isn't closed but I'm hopefully. She's walking around like she's the only one who's done this, her kids are pissed that they're moving there, and her friends are trying to talk her out of it

But she really wants it

I bet her kids are pissed. Sorry for them but you need your life back.

[Ombud]

@tbird, he's 2, a support on a rented table dn lock and the support bar was razor sharp (he was outside by himself). MD tried to do reattach it without microsurgery. I think they got the wrong kind of surgeon. But oh well. He lost it. When he went to the MD last time (last week), the MD roughly pulled off the bandage without fully unwrapping it and it came off with blood everywhere. Although GS uses it, it takes both DS & DIL to change bandage. No one else can get near it, they cannot do it alone bc he becomes hysterical

[debthaven]

I'm so sorry Ombud. Rukh is right, they are making incredible progress with that sort of thing. 

[kjto1]

Any updates?  Is DD still on track to move out on the 18th?

[Ombud]

This is taking forever! Apparently she mailed the loan papers to the lender rather than the mortgage broker. Still not closing yet

[debthaven]

But it is still happening? 

[Ombud]

And she's rapidly packing things up, giving stuff to charity, and changing job hours to accommodate

[chen35]

Aug 31, 2015 7:12:11 GMT -5 @tbird said:

Jul 24, 2015 14:52:33 GMT -5 mollyanna58 said:

Yes, well, those of us who are more self-sufficient see it as punishing us for being adults and rewarding others who make poor decisions and have no money for needs because it's all be spent on wants. What's really funny is when there are two "less self-sufficient" who have gotten huge amounts out of our parents and are whining because they think the other got more. 

I think this is the common sentiment with the YM, yet at the same time, there is that other sentiment that parents owe adult kids nothing and can do what they want with their money.

That seems to be, they can do anything with their money, except to use it for the benefit of their sibling - then suddenly, the responsible one is up in arms.

I'm not sure how that makes sense?

It seems that sibling rivalry is still in play, otherwise, the responsible one wouldn't give a toss.

DH and I would both be considered the 'responsible ones' in each of our families. Our parents have never given us money. I know his parents give his brother grocery store gift cards each month, and I know my parents have helped my younger brother with costs more than they have helped me. I couldn't care less. Money given almost always comes with strings attached (and I don't disagree with that). I'd much rather take care of myself and not have to give an accounting of what I do.

[Deleted]

Sept 9, 2015 11:31:07 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Aug 31, 2015 7:12:11 GMT -5 @tbird said:

I think this is the common sentiment with the YM, yet at the same time, there is that other sentiment that parents owe adult kids nothing and can do what they want with their money.

That seems to be, they can do anything with their money, except to use it for the benefit of their sibling - then suddenly, the responsible one is up in arms.

I'm not sure how that makes sense?

It seems that sibling rivalry is still in play, otherwise, the responsible one wouldn't give a toss.

DH and I would both be considered the 'responsible ones' in each of our families. Our parents have never given us money. I know his parents give his brother grocery store gift cards each month, and I know my parents have helped my younger brother with costs more than they have helped me. I couldn't care less. Money given almost always comes with strings attached (and I don't disagree with that). I'd much rather take care of myself and not have to give an accounting of what I do.

Ain't that the truth! My brother use to complain about my Mom and Grandmom being in his business all the time. I told him they don't get in MY business..... if you get out of their pockets and start acting like you have some sense, they'll get out of your business.