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[Ombud]

Jul 25, 2015 19:21:13 GMT -5 oped said:

I hate personally when the irresponsible one gets the benefit of being irresponsible.  

Me too but I view those 3 GKs (18, 14, 9) as being innocent.

[Deleted]

Definitely true. And like I said, when dad keeps things equal it doesn't count my kids v her no kids. They are separate. 

[zibazinski]

Jul 25, 2015 19:46:29 GMT -5 Ombud said:

Jul 25, 2015 19:21:13 GMT -5 oped said:

I hate personally when the irresponsible one gets the benefit of being irresponsible.  

Me too but I view those 3 GKs (18, 14, 9) as being innocent.

You can't fix their bad parent but you can always tell your grandchildren they are welcome to see you whenever they want.

[Ombud]

Rough night. DS's boy cut off his finger so at hospital until MN. Then noticed DD moved yet another chair into garage so I put it in her room. Actually I had to text it to her bc she's off at a flea market. The temper tantrums texts starting. But the fact is she cannot store more stuff here. I bitched that she doesn't appreciate 7 yrs of housing .... she bitched that I don't appreciate her cleaning house (vacuums but doesn't dust) .... I commended her on moving out soon .... she is telling the kids that I hate them. Guess I'm losing 4 GKs

[zibazinski]

Your grandchildren aren't stupid. 

[Deleted]

Jul 26, 2015 16:30:37 GMT -5 Ombud said:

Rough night. DS's boy cut off his finger so at hospital until MN. Then noticed DD moved yet another chair into garage so I put it in her room. Actually I had to text it to her bc she's off at a flea market. The temper tantrums texts starting. But the fact is she cannot store more stuff here. I bitched that she doesn't appreciate 7 yrs of housing .... she bitched that I don't appreciate her cleaning house (vacuums but doesn't dust) .... I commended her on moving out soon .... she is telling the kids that I hate them. Guess I'm losing 4 GKs

You're not wrong for not allowing her to take over your home completely. She's definitely wrong for telling your grandkids that you hate them.  again!

I'm sorry to hear about your grandson's injury. That must have been really scary.

[Ombud]

DS is beside himself. Kept saying it was his fault for getting someone home. But he had no intention of them (DIL, GD, GS) knocking down the tables after the party ended. I told them to let the rental place know so that they can take that one out of service.

DD is saying it's all my fault now & I'm hard to live with. I wonder if she's okay. She's done this b4. It's not short fuse (although it can be with kids). It's that she relates like a child instead of an adult

[Deleted]

Jul 26, 2015 18:21:30 GMT -5 Ombud said:

DS is beside himself. Kept saying it was his fault for getting someone home. But he had no intention of them (DIL, GD, GS) knocking down the tables. I told them to let the rental place know so that they can take that one out of service.

DD is saying it's all my fault now & I'm hard to live with. I wonder if she's okay. She's done this b4. It's not short fuse (although it can be with kids). It's that she relates like a child instead of an adult

How old is your grandson that was hurt. No matter how vigilant we are and how we try to protect them, our kids still have accidents because we can't exactly wrap them in a bubble to keep them safe from any potential harm. I hope your son stops beating himself up.

What's all your fault? If you're so hard to live with, why was she content to live with you so long? She didn't make it her mission to move back out asap, so it must not be all that bad. I'm just sayin'. 

[Ombud]

@pinkcshmere, the GS that got hurt just turned 2. No one knows why he tried to help. DIL was putting folding chairs in the truck to return & he would usually be playing with the chickens. He got the table leg safety off, it collapsed on him cutting off part of his finger, & stuff happens in a moment

[Deleted]

For some reason I was thinking he was older. Poor little guy.

[Shooby]

Telling them that you hate them? That is terrible. Geez.

[Ombud]

DD dropped GS1, GS2, & GS1's BF off. They're fine. I'm so confused

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

DD is saying it's all my fault now & I'm hard to live with

Then she is free to move out.   Maybe her boyfriend can man up and support his family for a change.

[Shooby]

Don't accept that from her. Just say"sorry you feel that way' and end the Gravy Train.

[Deleted]

Sorry about the little one. I know he must be hurting now. I know it's not always helpful, but in the scheme of life this was a little hurt. He's otherwise healthy and this will heal with relatively minimal impact. Sending good thoughts.

I second that your grandkids are smarter than that... Don't let her bully you.

[zibazinski]

She's using blackmail because she knows the free ride is over. Don't let her pull this again. Tell her she has X amount of days to take herself and her boyfriend out of the house. If you want the grandkids gone as well, then so be it. Tell the older ones the door is always open for THEM but you've had enough of their mothers antics. Turnabout is fair play.

[TheHaitian]

I know she is your daughter but danm what a BIATCH!!!

Telling your grandkids you hate them is so low!

[zibazinski]

USERS get nasty when they no longer can USE. The blackmail of the grandchildren isn't working anymore.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Jul 27, 2015 8:38:56 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

I know she is your daughter but danm what a BIATCH!!!

Telling your grandkids you hate them is so low!

*-*-*

And I'm so sorry for the little guy's finger.  HOpefully he'll heal just fine.  I sliced the tip off one of my fingers about 10-15 years ago and you can't tell at all. 

*-*-
Do what you can with the grandkids to make sure they know you love them despite Mom being a douchecanoe. 

[zibazinski]

My mom tried to pull that with me one time because I said I'd prefer to stay with my grandma as opposed to going home with her. Even when I was young and stupid I knew my grandma loved me and mom was a liar. The grandchildren may be angry with you bcuz you're making their mom get out and therefore they're stuck with her but thems the breaks. As they get older they can escape

[lund]

Tell the GKs repeatedly that they are always welcome unless you, in person, tells them something else, but that it seems as if their mother needs to move out.

[NastyWoman]

Jul 26, 2015 18:21:30 GMT -5 Ombud said:

Someone's realizing she won't get $50k for her house and now more than a little PO'd by chance? My spreadsheet idea feels better by the minute. Her kids have lived with you for the last 7 years so they know better thanthe crap their mom is feeding them out of spite.

I am very sorry about the little guy's mishap.  I hope he (and his parents) will feel better soon.

[bean29]

I don't have time to read all the posts here, but, I have to say there are disparities on both sides of our family (mine and DH's).

My DS is chronically poor...she has always worked, but her DH has been tinkering out of the yard (mechanic) for about 10 years. His mother owns the house they live in and it was nearly lost to foreclosure about a year ago.  I realized then that although my DS has a BS in accounting, I think her poverty is a barrier to her thinking logically.

About a month ago her BIL died and there was no money to bury him.  They were dependent on collecting enough $$ from family to do the funeral/internment.  DH and I gave $250.00.  So I stopped to visit sister yesterday b/c she is chronically poor and DH bought too much food for the party we had Saturday...So I took her a big pack of chicken breasts that expire August 1.  (Our freezer space is all used up).  So she tells me BIL that died gave her 10 year old a kitten before he passed.  Said kitten needs to be declawed b/c he is scratching DD and the MIL.  DS has apt today to get cat, Declawed, Fixed, and micro chipped $800.     I told DS well you know you can get the cat spayed by the humane society for about $100  (Spay for Cat is $75 and microchip is $25).  She said well she already had apt and they would not do declaw and that needed to be done anyways so she was still going to take cat in to vet.  I have more money and I took my Dog to this clinic and got him fixed for $105 (dogs are more).  I so have to be done helping them (last year I donated $$ to help with the legal problems related to the foreclosure).

You just can't save some people from stupid decisions. 

I have said before that if help everyone in DH's family and my family the way they want there will be nothing left to spend on ourselves and we don't go to work to pay their bills and make their lives better.

I do not look to my Mom to make everything equal.  I am glad she is frugal with her $$.  I know she does try to make everything equal with the Grands, but DB and I are doing well.  If she does something for DS, I do not care for her to give me $$ too.  I just want Mom to live out her retirement years with plenty of $$.  I want her to live to 90 or 100 and think she should plan for her $$ to last that long.  DS and her DH would suck Mom dry in a year or two and be right back in the same situation...and I do not even think they would blow the $$ on vacations and bling.  They just seem to be incapable of making consistently good decisions (and boy do his Mother's house and the house they live in have a sh*t ton of deferred maintenance).  I am not sure how I would feel if Mom would leave everything to DS.  I think I would be hurt, but then again, I am flipped out about the fact that my 52 year old DS and her 51 year old husband have only about $2,000 saved for retirement (if they did not withdraw that since last year).  So, I do not know how much I will help DS in her old age.  I would like to tell Mom if you do leave DS anything it should be an Annuity, but I haven't been willing to say anything to date.

[bean29]

Ombud, I am sorry your Grandson (and you) experienced this.  Since you indicate that the table that collapsed was rented, check with the rental company and see if their liability insurance will pick up any of the medical bills. DD works for a company that does party rentals and I know they have liability insurance.

[zibazinski]

Any updates about her move out date? Or is she laying low because she knows you aren't into being used anymore?

[Ombud]

She needs to get a checking account (doing today) & apply for land rent at the MFG home. They're talking (behind closed doors) about a 2 bd / den one they saw. A lender is guiding them in the process and giving the reality checks

Flame me but I've decided to help out if they're a little short of the 10% dn (they have 7k in a 401k but they go for 80-100k here).

[mollyanna58]

Jul 30, 2015 12:32:15 GMT -5 Ombud said:

She needs to get a checking account (doing today) & apply for land rent at the MFG home. They're talking (behind closed doors) about a 2 bd / den one they saw. A lender is guiding them in the process and giving the reality checks

Flame me but I've decided to help out if they're a little short of the 10% dn (they have 7k in a 401k but they go for 80-100k here).

Worth it to get your house back; kind of like "cash for keys".

[Ombud]

Although it is a terrible idea for them to take the money from a 401k, I'm all in favor of it here

[Bonny]

Too bad they can't buy Knee Deep in Water Chloe's home; it's a lot cheaper!

[Ombud]

Wrong zip code

The 100k was on a lot, no land rental. Just unimproved lot. She's found a fixer upper for considerably less which is part of a 'park.' This is unknown territory for me