giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 29, 2015 11:04:31 GMT -5
So MDD is constipated. To the point that it's been giving her stomach pains all week.
She's more interested in looking cute than doing what we ask. Which means she makes sure her hair is braided and her outfit is put together, but she *won't* drink water when we ask her to several times.
She hasn't been drinking fluids at school (everyone else's fault) and isn't eating a helpful lunch.
We are planning on giving her Metamucil tonight in hopes that something will move this weekend. We want to spare her if it's bad, that she doesn't have a poop accident at school. She's going into 2nd grade, so beyond the normal realm of having poop accidents.
This girl is my drama queen. Been like that since before she was 1. If you corrected her, tears. So, you can imagine how well things went this morning when I told her I was upset that I had to ask her THREE times to drink four freaking ounces of water. Throwing out possible natural consequences are met with more crying and theatrics. Then DH gets mad at me, because I provoke her.
She gravitates towards my DH because he's much more "talky." Which is fine, if it works. But clearly, the talking and hugging isn't compelling her to change her behavior. Particularly when the refusal to drink water came after lots of hugs and talking from DH.
I'm frustrated for many reasons.
She's had some anxiety at school that we've been trying to work through.
I'm also seriously considering having her go to a therapist, to help her deal with her emotions and her anxiety. Mostly, because I don't know how to help her, and she isn't interested in helping herself.
She's old enough to understand if we don't get this under control, it's going to get way worse down the road. She doesn't really care about how this might affect the rest of the family.
So, thoughts, suggestions, wine, anything would be welcome.
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on May 29, 2015 11:13:51 GMT -5
Short term, maybe try some miralax this weekend?
Long term, I think therapy is a great idea. DS10 has similar problems, and it hasn't gotten better on it's own. He's my step-son, so there's not a ton I can do about it, and it breaks my heart at this point the issues he is having.
Also, pick up some wine!
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 29, 2015 11:15:35 GMT -5
Is there something you can get her to drink that's not plain water? I am supposed to drink a staggering amount of water, and I"m better at it if it's flavored with something.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on May 29, 2015 11:20:44 GMT -5
I found miralax in juice was easier for my DS to drink as he doesn't like plain water.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on May 29, 2015 11:26:25 GMT -5
Start by taking her to her pediatrician. I am going to share the information we have on constipation from our pediatrician, but I am NOT a doctor, and don't know your child, so really, talk to the doctor.
Pop Tart suffers from serious constipation. To the point where she wasn't eating, she wasn't growing, and we have multiple urgent care and ER visits for severe stomach pain. Miralax is your friend. It is safe for long term use. Pop Tart has been on it for over a year. (We are now at the point where it does not have to be an every night thing, and we've reduced the dosage.) It will not cause accidents. It changes the way your body processes water to help with the constipation. You do still have to drink water, but the medicine is disolved in 4-6 ounces of water, so that helps right there.
Pop Tart was so "full" that you could see her backed up 2/3 of the way through her rib cage on X-rays, so we started with a weekend of Milk of Magnesia to "clean her out". That can cause immediate needs, so don't use it unless you know you're going to be around the house pretty consistently for the next 48 hours.
And finally, on the bad nights, on the nights when the only other option is go back to urgent care/ER (where they won't actually do anything, but the kid is in so much pain that she needs you to do something, even if it is go sit in urgent care for the next few hours), we have gone with the kids enemas. Let me say very clearly that our pediatrician does NOT really like this. But it works. It ends the pain within 30 minutes instead of 24-48 hours for Milk of Magnesia and longer for Miralax.
But, talk to your pediatrician. It's possible that her issues are caused by anxiety/stress (Pop Tart also came to us with a generalized anxiety disorder), but it could also be food related. We have a friend who has Celiacs, but as a kid, it presented as stomach pain and constipation. The doctor will want to try something like Miralax first to see if it works (without changing diet), but know that's also a possibility.
Also know that if they have been constipated a while, they may have forgotten what it feels like to need to go. The first weekend when Pop Tart was on the MoM, we'd be sitting around and she'd complain about her tummy hurting or not feeling very well, and we'd have to tell her to go use the bathroom. (Even now, if she complains about her tummy hurting, the first thing we do is tell her to go try pooping.) So she may need those reminders from you.
Other things we've done - the only drinks in the house are water or milk, and milk is only offered at dinner with spicy options (like chili or curry). She has water bottles that can live in her room. We eat salads as part of dinner each night to make sure she's getting some roughage. The types of cereal that come into our house are mostly high fiber varieties (frosted mini wheats being a favorite). Giving her the medicine is part of the bedtime ritual. We bring it in, and she drinks it while we do bedtime reading.
Constipation in kids is actually fairly common, and your pediatrician will have some good recommendations for you.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 29, 2015 11:28:18 GMT -5
Miralax in juice or flavored water. There is a good one I used to buy by the case at Sam's. I think it's Danon. It is an assortment of different flavors, and they are not syrupy sweet.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on May 29, 2015 11:30:09 GMT -5
Yes the constipation issue was what ultimately lead to my DS being diagnosed with Chron's disease. He was sent for GI referral after trying Miralax for a couple of months without much success.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 29, 2015 11:31:02 GMT -5
Maybe some bran muffins or raisin bran?
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 29, 2015 11:31:28 GMT -5
I'll second using the Miralax.
I had some pretty severe problems from all the narcotics I was taking. It got to the point that I started drinking it in a glass of orange juice each night to keep problems under control. I really wish I had known about this earlier, as I found it worked well after the second surgery. I REALLY could have used it after the first too....
In fact, I probably should tell my orthopod that this works better than what they told me to do on my release from the hospital.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on May 29, 2015 11:33:27 GMT -5
My mom used to make me drink prune juice. <-- I didn't like it. DS doesn't like to have to stop whatever he is doing to go, so we let him play on his tablet when he's sitting on the toilet. That helps, though he sits in there longer than necessary instead.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on May 29, 2015 11:34:49 GMT -5
Give her some apple or prune juice to drink. Or give her something that's not a drink such as some soup for dinner, a Popsicle or some watermelon. Any of those would increase her fluid intake.
Give her Miralax in a glass of water. It works much better than Metamucil. It's gentle and usually works overnight or about 12 hours.
For ongoing issues, put about a cup of Epsom salt in her bath water at night. The magnesium will help to keep her from getting constipated and will also help her relax and sleep.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 29, 2015 11:44:45 GMT -5
loosening it up manualy is sometimes the only way to go.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 29, 2015 11:47:13 GMT -5
Gross
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 29, 2015 11:47:54 GMT -5
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on May 29, 2015 11:49:15 GMT -5
Another option is to do a Vitamin C flush. Take 2 500 mg. vitamin C tablets and then take one more tablet after 30 min. Every 30 minutes take one more Vit. C tablet until you have results. Do this at home.
If you prefer, it can be done by drinking EmergenC. But, if she's not drinking, it won't work.
This is gentler than an enema and quicker than Miralax.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 29, 2015 11:55:22 GMT -5
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myrrh
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Post by myrrh on May 29, 2015 11:56:43 GMT -5
Does she like oatmeal, apples, dried plums (formerly known as prunes), dates, veggies? After things get more cleared out I'd try adding more of these to her diet. I loved prunes and dates when I was a kid, (actually still do) but my DH keeps telling me I was deprived so what do I know.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on May 29, 2015 12:05:02 GMT -5
If she will eat oatmeal, steel cut oats cooked up with a few teaspoons of oat bran would be good for her (and anyone else). Adding fruit or raisins would be delicious.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on May 29, 2015 12:06:08 GMT -5
Does she like oatmeal, apples, dried plums (formerly known as prunes), dates, veggies? After things get more cleared out I'd try adding more of these to her diet. I loved prunes and dates when I was a kid, (actually still do) but my DH keeps telling me I was deprived so what do I know. LOL, I did too and both my kids think raisins are a step away from candy so it must be genetic.
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on May 29, 2015 12:06:23 GMT -5
Does she like oatmeal, apples, dried plums (formerly known as prunes), dates, veggies? After things get more cleared out I'd try adding more of these to her diet. I loved prunes and dates when I was a kid, (actually still do) but my DH keeps telling me I was deprived so what do I know. I loved them too. I was a huge weirdo, I would sneak them from my grandma's pantry.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 12:29:39 GMT -5
Does she like oatmeal, apples, dried plums (formerly known as prunes), dates, veggies? After things get more cleared out I'd try adding more of these to her diet. I loved prunes and dates when I was a kid, (actually still do) but my DH keeps telling me I was deprived so what do I know. I loved dried fruit too It shocked mom because she loathed dried fruit as a kid. A relative sent some years ago and I nommed it and asked for more. Dried pears and dates were my favorites, and we definitely didn't have a shortage of candy bars for comparison. That chewy texture is really neat. On topic: if looking good is a prime driver, is there any chance it might work to play up the beauty elements of certain foods? How some of them specifically help create pretty hair and nails? Maybe put up a list of the "10 best beauty foods" or such on the fridge? I'm not real familiar with them, but I think most lists usually have things like apples, avocados, kale and such? Mostly just wondering if there'd be less resistance to extra fiber and water if they match a prime goal of hers.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 29, 2015 12:36:27 GMT -5
Start by taking her to her pediatrician. I am going to share the information we have on constipation from our pediatrician, but I am NOT a doctor, and don't know your child, so really, talk to the doctor.
Pop Tart suffers from serious constipation. To the point where she wasn't eating, she wasn't growing, and we have multiple urgent care and ER visits for severe stomach pain. Miralax is your friend. It is safe for long term use. Pop Tart has been on it for over a year. (We are now at the point where it does not have to be an every night thing, and we've reduced the dosage.) It will not cause accidents. It changes the way your body processes water to help with the constipation. You do still have to drink water, but the medicine is disolved in 4-6 ounces of water, so that helps right there.
Pop Tart was so "full" that you could see her backed up 2/3 of the way through her rib cage on X-rays, so we started with a weekend of Milk of Magnesia to "clean her out". That can cause immediate needs, so don't use it unless you know you're going to be around the house pretty consistently for the next 48 hours.
And finally, on the bad nights, on the nights when the only other option is go back to urgent care/ER (where they won't actually do anything, but the kid is in so much pain that she needs you to do something, even if it is go sit in urgent care for the next few hours), we have gone with the kids enemas. Let me say very clearly that our pediatrician does NOT really like this. But it works. It ends the pain within 30 minutes instead of 24-48 hours for Milk of Magnesia and longer for Miralax.
But, talk to your pediatrician. It's possible that her issues are caused by anxiety/stress (Pop Tart also came to us with a generalized anxiety disorder), but it could also be food related. We have a friend who has Celiacs, but as a kid, it presented as stomach pain and constipation. The doctor will want to try something like Miralax first to see if it works (without changing diet), but know that's also a possibility.
Also know that if they have been constipated a while, they may have forgotten what it feels like to need to go. The first weekend when Pop Tart was on the MoM, we'd be sitting around and she'd complain about her tummy hurting or not feeling very well, and we'd have to tell her to go use the bathroom. (Even now, if she complains about her tummy hurting, the first thing we do is tell her to go try pooping.) So she may need those reminders from you.
Other things we've done - the only drinks in the house are water or milk, and milk is only offered at dinner with spicy options (like chili or curry). She has water bottles that can live in her room. We eat salads as part of dinner each night to make sure she's getting some roughage. The types of cereal that come into our house are mostly high fiber varieties (frosted mini wheats being a favorite). Giving her the medicine is part of the bedtime ritual. We bring it in, and she drinks it while we do bedtime reading.
Constipation in kids is actually fairly common, and your pediatrician will have some good recommendations for you. DH is supposed to call the peds office today. In general, we eat fairly well. We also are a milk and water only family. So yeah, she'll be drinking fiber with juice. We also don't have urgent care clinics in our neck of the woods. It's either the peds office (including after hours) or the ER. I've also wondered if there is a gluten sensitivity. I've been working hard to cut down bread-type carbs. She's not getting more than three servings of bread a day, and that includes snacks. We don't really have too many simple carbs. The worst is taco night, which we have twice or so a month. We know that in the past when she's had to poop she say her tummy hurts. So we remind her to go to the bathroom and the pain goes away. I'm mostly frustrated. I think she's also been lying to us about pooping at school. I mean, never since she potty trained has she pooped at school, and now suddenly for the past two weeks she's only pooping at school. I shouldn't have to babysit her to the point of making sure she drinks. I'm betting she's getting less than 16 oz of fluids in a day. I understand that we have to remind her to brush her teeth, blah blah. But drinking, I'm not sure. I just figured she was 8, and could make some basic choices for herself out of our sight. I'm thinking now she can't. And it's going to be a long summer of rules that no one is going to really like, myself included. She also wants more freedom, and now she can't have it. Which is going to result in more hysterics. I've told her that if we let this go and she continues to choose not to drink that more people are going to be poking around her bottom or she can begin to have accidents. That isn't enough to compel her to grab a water bottle for lunch.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 29, 2015 12:42:01 GMT -5
On topic: if looking good is a prime driver, is there any chance it might work to play up the beauty elements of certain foods? How some of them specifically help create pretty hair and nails? Maybe put up a list of the "10 best beauty foods" or such on the fridge? I'm not real familiar with them, but I think most lists usually have things like apples, avocados, kale and such? Mostly just wondering if there'd be less resistance to extra fiber and water if they match a prime goal of hers. She's fine with eating fruits and veggies. This morning, we checked her lunch. Not enough food. We asked why no apples. Well, duh, dad was too busy for her to ask to cut the apple up. And of course, DH was supposed to read her mind that she wanted apples and then cut them up and give them to her. Because she never asked us for them. It's the liquid intake that I think is the bigger issue. She has her choice of all sorts of different water bottles, etc. It's just everyone else's fault as to why she's not drinking water. We will try the flavored water though. That is a good suggestion.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on May 29, 2015 12:46:56 GMT -5
Dried prunes or prune pouches as a "treat"?
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 12:50:21 GMT -5
My oldest drinks a ton of milk and water, but younger isn't big on either of those. However, he'll down Gatorade and juice like there's no tomorrow. I know plain water is preferable to juice, but we get those Capri Sun no sugar added ones to put in his lunch. The juice I buy by the half gallon in the fridge I'll water down a lot. Like two parts water to one part juice.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 29, 2015 12:56:35 GMT -5
On topic: if looking good is a prime driver, is there any chance it might work to play up the beauty elements of certain foods? How some of them specifically help create pretty hair and nails? Maybe put up a list of the "10 best beauty foods" or such on the fridge? I'm not real familiar with them, but I think most lists usually have things like apples, avocados, kale and such? Mostly just wondering if there'd be less resistance to extra fiber and water if they match a prime goal of hers. She's fine with eating fruits and veggies. This morning, we checked her lunch. Not enough food. We asked why no apples. Well, duh, dad was too busy for her to ask to cut the apple up. And of course, DH was supposed to read her mind that she wanted apples and then cut them up and give them to her. Because she never asked us for them. It's the liquid intake that I think is the bigger issue. She has her choice of all sorts of different water bottles, etc. It's just everyone else's fault as to why she's not drinking water. We will try the flavored water though. That is a good suggestion. Is she not old enough to cut up her own apples? If not allowed to use knives, is she not capable of eating an apple that's not cut up? I'm sorry to sound harsh, but dad seems to be creating a bit of a monster. My sister coddles her kids and my niece is very diva like and highly sensitive. She cries whenever she is corrected or doesn't get her way and she's 11 and going into the 6th grade. She is not going to be prepared for the cold world when she comes into adulthood.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 29, 2015 12:59:21 GMT -5
If you want a very GENTLE laxative, go get some sennosides. Take one and it works the next day. No cramping or discomfort.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 29, 2015 13:00:14 GMT -5
She's fine with eating fruits and veggies. This morning, we checked her lunch. Not enough food. We asked why no apples. Well, duh, dad was too busy for her to ask to cut the apple up. And of course, DH was supposed to read her mind that she wanted apples and then cut them up and give them to her. Because she never asked us for them. It's the liquid intake that I think is the bigger issue. She has her choice of all sorts of different water bottles, etc. It's just everyone else's fault as to why she's not drinking water. We will try the flavored water though. That is a good suggestion. Is she not old enough to cut up her own apples? If not allowed to use knives, is she not capable of eating an apple that's not cut up? I'm sorry to sound harsh, but dad seems to be creating a bit of a monster. My sister coddles her kids and my niece is very diva like and highly sensitive. She cries whenever she is corrected or doesn't get her way and she's 11 and going into the 6th grade. She is not going to be prepared for the cold world when she comes into adulthood. Actually, I don't think this is the case. My DD just made cupcakes for DH's birthday all by herself. We even gave her access to the oven. She's pretty independent. She just likes to blame others. I do think she relates better to him in general. So it was easier to say "well, dad didn't help me out." Than say "Yes, I should have made better choices." I tend to expect more out of the kids than i think most parents do. My oldest deals with it differently than MDD does.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 29, 2015 13:08:25 GMT -5
Is she not old enough to cut up her own apples? If not allowed to use knives, is she not capable of eating an apple that's not cut up? I'm sorry to sound harsh, but dad seems to be creating a bit of a monster. My sister coddles her kids and my niece is very diva like and highly sensitive. She cries whenever she is corrected or doesn't get her way and she's 11 and going into the 6th grade. She is not going to be prepared for the cold world when she comes into adulthood. Actually, I don't think this is the case. My DD just made cupcakes for DH's birthday all by herself. We even gave her access to the oven. She's pretty independent. She just likes to blame others. I do think she relates better to him in general. So it was easier to say "well, dad didn't help me out." Than say "Yes, I should have made better choices." I tend to expect more out of the kids than i think most parents do. My oldest deals with it differently than MDD does. Then expect her to drink her own water... IMHO making a kid drink water is not a hill to die on. If she feel shitty (pun intended) she will learn to drink more water in the future.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 29, 2015 13:38:17 GMT -5
My oldest drinks a ton of milk and water, but younger isn't big on either of those. However, he'll down Gatorade and juice like there's no tomorrow. I know plain water is preferable to juice, but we get those Capri Sun no sugar added ones to put in his lunch. The juice I buy by the half gallon in the fridge I'll water down a lot. Like two parts water to one part juice. I use Crystal light and Skinny Girl water flavorings.
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