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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2015 20:17:13 GMT -5
People around here practically give kids clothes away. You just hit the garage sales in spendy housing developments and find lots of brand name stuff and they just want it gone. The only thing I've ever had to buy new are jeans (after age 4) and shoes. I actually have way too many clothes for them because my Mom keeps bringing me bags of stuff she couldn't pass up. The 100 mile garage sale was a couple weeks ago and she went nuts, most I told her to just to take to my ex for his kids or donate, but there were about 8 pairs of cargo shorts for younger son she got for 50 cents to a dollar a pair. All Old Navy, Arizona and Gap with adjustable waistbands in great shape. I kept those and a swimsuit.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on May 18, 2015 22:18:04 GMT -5
Archie, let's elaborate on the conversation with the wife. Did it go: "Hey, babe, let's hold off on some of the bigger, unnessary purchases for a bit. The savings account is way down." "Sure!" (Thinks to herself: WTE is wrong with him, I wasn't going to buy a tv any time soon?) Or "Hey, the savings account is down a bit further than I'd like." "Oh, uh-huh." (Thinks to herself: Gah, why does he keep talking about money.) Or  ? |
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on May 19, 2015 0:39:33 GMT -5
Wow! I haven't read the whole thread, but if we were spending more than our income, I would not be asking DH to "try" and cut back. We'd be having a serious money talk and there would not be any discretionary spending by anyone.
As it is, if I ask him to hold off on unnecessary spending til the end of the month, He is very good about that.
The whole balance transfer thing is ok, but unless the spending is reigned in, matters are going to get worse.
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on May 19, 2015 4:28:47 GMT -5
Am I the only one that thinks his wife's spending will get worse once she goes back to work? She will have to adjust to not having as much time again except this time she has an additional kid. With her pay starting back up she will be more likely to fork over money for things that save time, and maybe she did cut her spending since being out of work and plans to splurge on some things when their income goes back up. There is no way to know any of this without having a hard conversation.
I get that a lot of men don't want to be seen as dictators to their wife, especially if they are at home raising kids, but I think it is fair for them to sit down and talk. If they don't resentment will build on both sides. The conversation doesn't have to be mean or hurtful. If they just look at how much they owe, how much is coming in, and figure out a budget it can be about the numbers and not anything more. I don't want to make assumptions about how much Archie does at home, but I know a lot of men that don't want to help out with cooking or cleaning- they'd rather it all on the wife who in turn spends a bit more on convenience items or higher priced stuff because she can't go to garage sales maybe she hires someone to come in to clean because she can't do it all. Then the man moans and complains that his wife has out of control spending. Again, I am not saying that this is what is going on with Archie's family, but it is probably safe to assume that in turn for cutting spending she might need him to do more with the kids or house.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2015 6:55:51 GMT -5
Is it possible she also needs some clothes for herself? Third child, 14 months at home. She may need some new, fitting pieces before returning to work.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 19, 2015 7:14:54 GMT -5
Archie, let's elaborate on the conversation with the wife. Did it go: "Hey, babe, let's hold off on some of the bigger, unnessary purchases for a bit. The savings account is way down." "Sure!" (Thinks to herself: WTE is wrong with him, I wasn't going to buy a tv any time soon?) Or "Hey, the savings account is down a bit further than I'd like." "Oh, uh-huh." (Thinks to herself: Gah, why does he keep talking about money.) Or ? Not sure exactly... maybe more like "You realize we have $600 left in savings. Next month we are going to have borrow from daughter. Let's really work on keeping spending down" "I know, I know. I will. But don't worry it will be fine. " |
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 19, 2015 7:26:05 GMT -5
Am I the only one that thinks his wife's spending will get worse once she goes back to work? I don't think so, just going from previous experience. We have always been able to save pretty well when we are both working. With 3 kids it will be different, but I don't think it will be different enough to change that. We need to figure out daycare and schedules for next year. But before she took her maternity leave we had about $20k in savings which was built up over time just by having a positive cash flow. |
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 19, 2015 7:30:10 GMT -5
Is it possible she also needs some clothes for herself? Third child, 14 months at home. She may need some new, fitting pieces before returning to work. Yeah, probably, which makes me even more crazy, the woman has so many clothes (at least from the view of a guy). |
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on May 19, 2015 7:45:37 GMT -5
Is it possible she also needs some clothes for herself? Third child, 14 months at home. She may need some new, fitting pieces before returning to work. Yeah, probably, which makes me even more crazy, the woman has so many clothes (at least from the view of a guy). Hahaha I just stop fighting it. My closet is 1/30 the size of my wife and I always have something to wear. The woman has a walk in closet and always seem to need a new outfit for any upcoming occasion. Couple weeks ago: Hon, why don't you just wear this dress (we were heading to NY). - I don't want to, I wore it last year to my cousin son baby shower. - Isn't the baby 1? - yeah so? - you don't want to wear something because other people saw it on you over a year ago? - she looks at me like I am stupid - I look at her like she has lost her mind. * I just walked out of the room before I said anything else* Now when she says I need a new this or a new that for whatever event I just nod and say : yes honey! Like I said 1/30 th of the space and I always got clothes, she has a walk in closet and listening to her you would think she has absolutely nothing to wear. But I have learn is not that she has absolutely nothing to wear... It is she has absolutely nothing "she" "wants" to wear. |
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on May 19, 2015 7:54:08 GMT -5
I wear the same dresses over again. I figure people don't remember or care that I wore it to some special occasion a year ago. If they do care, then that is really their problem and not mine.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2015 7:58:44 GMT -5
I was thinking more of fit, and lack of vomit stains.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 19, 2015 8:57:41 GMT -5
I wear the same dresses over again. I figure people don't remember or care that I wore it to some special occasion a year ago. If they do care, then that is really their problem and not mine. Yep. same here. Mom and I trade clothes a bunch as well. Sometimes we trade with my Aunts and cousins. You need a party dress? Yep! Try this one, I wore it to X wedding. ETA: We also do this with furniture. |
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garion2003
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Post by garion2003 on May 19, 2015 9:05:52 GMT -5
Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin?  Never come out the way you went in!!! That be the one. I grew up on the north shore @empressspunkles  |
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 19, 2015 9:16:22 GMT -5
I have lots of clothes I don't want to wear, because I'm dang tired of looking at them but I wear them anyway because they're not worn out yet.  Archie, what did you say after she said it'll be ok? Did you say no it won't, one disaster will kill us? |
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 19, 2015 9:17:50 GMT -5
I have lots of clothes I don't want to wear, because I'm dang tired of looking at them but I wear them anyway because they're not worn out yet. Archie, what did you say after she said it'll be ok? Did you say no it won't, one disaster will kill us? Something like "I know but lets just try, ok" |
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 19, 2015 9:19:53 GMT -5
I have lots of clothes I don't want to wear, because I'm dang tired of looking at them but I wear them anyway because they're not worn out yet. Archie, what did you say after she said it'll be ok? Did you say no it won't, one disaster will kill us? Something like "I know but lets just try, ok" I have a spouse that you have to beat over the head with stuff so I gave him the list of bills and a pen the other day and told him to work out how to get it all done. It made him sad. And it also made him cheap.  |
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 19, 2015 9:21:30 GMT -5
Something like "I know but lets just try, ok" I have a spouse that you have to beat over the head with stuff so I gave him the list of bills and a pen the other day and told him to work out how to get it all done. It made him sad. And it also made him cheap. She pays all of the bills, so at some level she knows. I just need her to be cheaper, so I don't feel so bad buying craft beer. |
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 19, 2015 9:24:30 GMT -5
I have a spouse that you have to beat over the head with stuff so I gave him the list of bills and a pen the other day and told him to work out how to get it all done. It made him sad. And it also made him cheap. She pays all of the bills, so at some level she knows. I just need her to be cheaper, so I don't feel so bad buying craft beer. NO CRAFT BEER FOR YOU!  If you get craft beer, she gets Starbucks. |
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 19, 2015 9:24:55 GMT -5
Something like "I know but lets just try, ok" I have a spouse that you have to beat over the head with stuff so I gave him the list of bills and a pen the other day and told him to work out how to get it all done. It made him sad. And it also made him cheap. Also, since I don't want to sit down and do a budget I can imagine that she wants to even less... |
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 19, 2015 9:31:26 GMT -5
I have a spouse that you have to beat over the head with stuff so I gave him the list of bills and a pen the other day and told him to work out how to get it all done. It made him sad. And it also made him cheap. Also, since I don't want to sit down and do a budget I can imagine that she wants to even less... It's not that hard is it? Here's the bills, this is what we spend on groceries. The rest that's left is X. How much of that are we spending and how much can we stop spending? I get more complicated than that it gives me a headache and I lose DH for sure. |
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 19, 2015 9:53:37 GMT -5
I have a spouse that you have to beat over the head with stuff so I gave him the list of bills and a pen the other day and told him to work out how to get it all done. It made him sad. And it also made him cheap. Also, since I don't want to sit down and do a budget I can imagine that she wants to even less... because I know nothing makes me hotter than opening up Excel and discussing the monthly spending... |
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 19, 2015 9:56:42 GMT -5
Also, since I don't want to sit down and do a budget I can imagine that she wants to even less... because I know nothing makes me hotter than opening up Excel and discussing the monthly spending... I would pivot your table like no body's business. |
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on May 19, 2015 9:59:55 GMT -5
Also, since I don't want to sit down and do a budget I can imagine that she wants to even less... because I know nothing makes me hotter than opening up Excel and discussing the monthly spending... I did get asked out in the grocery store once and the guy said he liked the fact I was using coupons  |
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 19, 2015 10:03:01 GMT -5
You two should just get a room and be done with it. I just need a computer and gotomeeting. |
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on May 19, 2015 10:04:12 GMT -5
because I know nothing makes me hotter than opening up Excel and discussing the monthly spending... I would pivot your table like no body's business. You two should just get a room and be done with it. |
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2015 10:11:22 GMT -5
I think budgeting guys are hot and I'm all for free, in-home entertainment.  |
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 19, 2015 10:18:28 GMT -5
because I know nothing makes me hotter than opening up Excel and discussing the monthly spending... I would pivot your table like no body's business. LMAO, it's funny because I actually know what a pivot table is now! |
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 19, 2015 10:20:26 GMT -5
and as much as I heart ArchietheDragon  , I'm pretty sure his wife needs him to remain in one piece. Those Starbucks cards aren't gonna reload themselves you know! |
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on May 19, 2015 11:07:32 GMT -5
It's time to put the credit card in a dish of water and put the dish in the freezer.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 19, 2015 13:25:33 GMT -5
Am I the only one that thinks his wife's spending will get worse once she goes back to work? I don't think so, just going from previous experience. We have always been able to save pretty well when we are both working. With 3 kids it will be different, but I don't think it will be different enough to change that. We need to figure out daycare and schedules for next year. But before she took her maternity leave we had about $20k in savings which was built up over time just by having a positive cash flow. So you are saying it cost $19,400 for her to take maternity leave? Had no idea maternity leave was so expensive. But bonding time with baby is priceless |
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