muttleynfelix
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May 8, 2015 11:09:58 GMT -5
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 8, 2015 11:09:58 GMT -5
My MIL had a fall on Saturday and ended spending the night on the floor. She was able to call BIL on Sunday to come get her and he was like mom I can't get you up, call an ambulance. So off to the hospital she went. She has been refusing to go to the doctor all year despite the fact that something has definitely been wrong. So at the hospital she gets checked out and first thing discovered is that she has Hepatitis A. Now they were running more tests to see what kind of damage is to her liver and they found some nodules. They saw a mass in her kidneys and some other nodules in her lungs. They are doing a biopsy today. SIL flew out Tuesday. We thought she overreacted, but MIL is very confused and since we aren't there it has all be on BIL so having SIL there has been good. DH is currently thinking of going down the end of next week, but it depends on what the biopsy shows. My mom is going to take our kids when he goes down.
While knowing what is wrong is good, I am afraid once MIL finds out the problem she will completely give up and it will be a very short road. She is already refusing treatment for any potential problem.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 8, 2015 11:12:08 GMT -5
I'm sorry.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on May 8, 2015 11:12:23 GMT -5
I'm sorry Mutt. Hugs and best wishes on this.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on May 8, 2015 11:13:41 GMT -5
Aw, I'm so sorry.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on May 8, 2015 11:17:48 GMT -5
I'm sorry Mutt.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on May 8, 2015 11:21:34 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear this news.
Maybe when your MIL has a couple of days to consider, she will choose treatment.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on May 8, 2015 11:23:35 GMT -5
It makes me sad to think she might just give up. I realize that depending on the circumstances that sometimes it isn't worth the fight, but the fact she is already talking about refusing treatment before knowing the complete picture is disturbing. Best wishes to you and your family.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 8, 2015 11:38:41 GMT -5
Moving forward - she gave up 7 months ago when DHs brother died from alcohol withdrawal in her house. Afterwards she has refused to take care of herself and has become homebound by choice. Us moving has made it worse, with 4 less people around to force her to move aaround a bit. The giving up is not a surprise at all to us.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on May 8, 2015 11:39:40 GMT -5
Moving forward - she gave up 7 months ago when DHs brother died from alcohol withdrawal in her house. Afterwards she has refused to take care of herself and has become homebound by choice. Us moving has made it worse, with 4 less people around to force her to move aaround a bit. The giving up is not a surprise at all to us. How is your DH handling all this?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2015 11:43:35 GMT -5
So sorry to hear that. If she is anything like the older generation in my family, their opinion is that you only go to hospital to die. They avoid medical care & hospitals as if they're the plague.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on May 8, 2015 11:52:51 GMT -5
I'm so sorry
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 8, 2015 12:11:30 GMT -5
Hepatitis A is highly contagious....it is very serious, if the infection has been there for awhile. Mutt, she could be going into liver failure, and she can infect others. But she can be treated; Hep A isn't fatal. But giving up is not an option if she wants to get past this. This is not a good way for her to go. The mass on the kidneys...? Could be anything at this point. I'm glad she is hospitalized and the staff can speak to her; maybe hearing from them rather than family will make a difference.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 8, 2015 12:16:44 GMT -5
I'm so sorry.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 8, 2015 12:17:30 GMT -5
Moving forward - she gave up 7 months ago when DHs brother died from alcohol withdrawal in her house. Afterwards she has refused to take care of herself and has become homebound by choice. Us moving has made it worse, with 4 less people around to force her to move aaround a bit. The giving up is not a surprise at all to us. How is your DH handling all this? All things considered, ok. I think he feels bad about not being there. He's been resigned to her giving up. The last 2 years she has declined a lot. She was improving when BIL went off the rails and died. It has been complete give up mode since then.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 8, 2015 12:18:14 GMT -5
I am sorry to hear that. But, she just might need some time to digest the medical information and think about her options.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2015 12:20:33 GMT -5
How is your DH handling all this? All things considered, ok. I think he feels bad about not being there. He's been resigned to her giving up. The last 2 years she has declined a lot. She was improving when BIL went off the rails and died. It has been complete give up mode since then. 7 months isn't long for some to deal with losing a child, even an adult one. My Grandmother was depressed for nearly a year after losing her son and he was in his 70's. I hope she finds a reason to keep on going.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 8, 2015 12:20:54 GMT -5
We really are trying not to make assumptions at this point. Only conveying facts and not speculation to people we know IRL. So people know about the fall and tests, but not the Hep A and the mass. It is tough not to think the worst though. Especially with her mindset.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on May 8, 2015 12:25:57 GMT -5
*hugs* Wish there were more I could do. Glad to hear that your parents will be able to help with the kids while DH is helping with his mom.
On some level, that's actually a silver lining to this. Even if you were still close to MIL, with Hep A, the kids couldn't be around her. But your DH would still want to be helping his mom. At least where you are now, you have the built in support system of your family to help out with the kids while DH goes to help with his mom.
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fatbear
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Post by fatbear on May 8, 2015 12:49:31 GMT -5
While knowing what is wrong is good, I am afraid once MIL finds out the problem she will completely give up and it will be a very short road. She is already refusing treatment for any potential problem. Despite sounding heartless, a very short road might not be a bad thing depending how poor her health is. If she ends up on dialysis due to kidney damage, she may wish she was dead.
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gacpa
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Post by gacpa on May 8, 2015 13:10:50 GMT -5
Please hang in there. I am sorry your family is dealing with this and hope your MIL will get the help she needs. None of us knows what the future holds.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on May 8, 2015 13:14:30 GMT -5
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 8, 2015 13:24:53 GMT -5
Thank you all for the hugs and support. Keeping this bottled up IRL is hard, but I know that is what DH wants. And I'm not really tight enough with my coworkers to vent like I would have in MO. Of course I probably wouldn't be working this week in MO since I would be home with the kids so DH could be with his mom. Anyway, we finally have gotten all the house drama taken care of and this happens.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 8, 2015 13:38:53 GMT -5
Try not to think the worst. Hep A is treatable, and once they get that under control she might feel a whole lot better, which might give her a completely different outlook on life.
My mom is 86 and she's had all kinds of anomolies - funny looking things on her lungs, funny looking scans of her kidney - they all turn out to be nothing. They have to check everything out, though.
Maybe your DH can convince her to get some grief counseling? Maybe join a support group for parents who lost adult kids?
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on May 8, 2015 13:45:58 GMT -5
Sorry Mutt.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on May 8, 2015 13:47:07 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope things start looking up for you all soon.
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on May 8, 2015 16:10:42 GMT -5
Sorry, mnf. Sending good thoughts for your MIL and her family.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 8, 2015 19:26:46 GMT -5
So sorry. I hope your MIL gets better. My dad has declined a lot in the almost one year since mom died. I seriously doubt, at 91, he would put on a battle to any disease or illness. He really just wants to be with her.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on May 8, 2015 19:33:58 GMT -5
So sorry, mutt. Praying for you all!
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on May 8, 2015 19:41:44 GMT -5
I'm really sorry Mutt and I do hope your MIL can pull through.
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jelloshots4all
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Post by jelloshots4all on May 8, 2015 19:48:25 GMT -5
Hugs and prayers for your family!
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