how close are you to your co-workers

[joemilitary]

How much do you share / talk with them?

[movingforward]

Pretty close at my old job.  A couple of the people I worked with became very good friends of mine and we are still very close.  We still talk all the time.  I am not close like that with anyone at my current job.  I do share some things about my personal life as I am sort of one of those open book people but I don't consider anyone I currently work with to be a friend/confidant. 

[Deleted]

I've been here for 21 years, so a lot of people I've known for a long time.  There's a couple of them that I share quite a bit with, although I do that with everyone here too. 

[Malarky]

One big dysfunctional family.  Many of us have worked together for 20 years or more.  It's a small place and everyone's job depends on everyone's cooperation.  

Some days it's the family fight, other days it's all fun and games.  Just like at home.

[ArchietheDragon]

As little as possible. Although they do know that I have 3 kids.

[cronewitch]

Retired but seldom considered anyone at work a real friend even when friendly. Over the years there were a few I saw outside of work but still once you leave a job they are history almost always. I have one left from 20 years ago. Mom worked in one place 20 years and thought those coworkers were friends, they bowled and celebrated Chinese new year after work etc but as soon as she retired never heard from them again, she was hurt.

[msventoux]

I know the intimate details of all of their lives. They know my name and that I have some pets.

[flamingo]

My employees talk A LOT. To me, to each other. I know a lot about them. I talk a lot to those on my management team, but less so to my staff. I never hang out with staff after work. One woman on my management team and I spend a lot of time together outside of work. We have a lot in common-from the neighboring small towns in our home state, both new the BIG CITY we are living in, our husbands are similar, we both share a lot of the same outlooks on life.

My current job is much more "let's all be one big happy family" compared to my previous jobs. That works for me in terms of the management team I'm on. I'm not so keen on being one big happy family with the staff I manage. They can hang out after work all they want, but I'd rather not blur that line.

[andi9899]

We talk to each other a lot around here! I'm not so close to TMI them since I've only worked here about 6 months, but we're getting there.

[Deleted]

Apr 17, 2015 12:58:11 GMT -5 Malarky said:

One big dysfunctional family.  Many of us have worked together for 20 years or more.  It's a small place and everyone's job depends on everyone's cooperation.  

Some days it's the family fight, other days it's all fun and games.  Just like at home.

Similar situation at my job, except there are hundreds of us across 3 shifts. But between coming in early, working late, changing shifts, and working in different areas for whatever reason, over the years, unless you're pretty unfriendly you get to know at least a little bit about a lot of people. Once you learn what you're doing, you can almost work on auto-pilot, and it's boring. So we talk while we work.

We don't really have a lot of turnover, so after being around the same people day in and day out for years, it really does start to seem like a second family. 

ETA: some of my coworkers share way more personal things than I'd be comfortable with. I operate under the assumption that anything I share, the whole building will eventually know about. If you don't want everybody to know, it's best not to tell anybody. My coworkers tell everything!

[cktc]

I've been working for my boss's family run business for 8 years now. My boss and her daughter are making my wedding cake. They are pretty much family at this point.

[lexxy703]

We are a small company & the newest employee has been here 11 years.  We know pretty much everything about each other's lives.

[happyhoix]

Not much. There are a few I discuss things we have in common with (gardening, movies).

This is a very conservative company in a very conservative small city in the South. I've only told maybe 1 or 2 people that I voted democratic in the last two presidential elections, and only 1 or 2 people that my DS got married this spring by his wife's gay uncle. There are a fairly good chunk of ultra conservative Christians that work here, and who don't mind sharing their political opionions with everyone else, and I know they would be shocked to hear both those things about me, and that might impact their ability to work with me effectively, so I never discuss religious or political things at work. 

Maybe that's why I like hanging out on the political thread, I can say things there I can't say IRL.  

[bean29]

I have one co-worker who knows a lot about my life.  I know lots of personal stuff about his family too.

Some of my other co-workers know the kinds of superficial things you share with co-workers.

I am also pretty leery of work "friendships". I was once very hurt that a co-worker I worked with for 10 years quit returning my calls after we no longer worked together. 

[Anne_in_VA]

I have a couple of close friendships at work who know quite a bit about me and I know a lot about them. I've found that when you develop friendships at work, if you leave the company those go away and you lose those friendships. I'm pretty much an open book about most things but there are some things I don't tell anyone, even DH.

I've had a pretty rough time growing up and some things are just too painful to talk about, however I have discussed them with my therapist which helped me get past them.

[Tiny]

I keep an 'arms length' I'm happy to know about the general stuff in people's lives and I'll share the general stuff in my life -- but I don't really want to be 'best friends' or the 'office wife' for with any of them.

I had gone the 'friends' route with people at past jobs and that just led to a whole lot of awfulness - not the 'friend part' but the bitching and moaning about the job and then the feeling like I need to choose a side (management/worker or worker A/worker B) for what ultimately was petty stuff (worker A looked at me funny! I HATE THEM I'm gonna be mean to them! Don't you think she's a bitch?) OR business stuff that could not be changed (the computer upgrade is happening no matter how much you belly ache to management how it's gonna fail/make more work/be a disaster OR how much of a work slow down you do to prove your point).

Most of my office friendships have been more "JR High" than what I assume an Adult Friendship would be...

I'm not very good with keeping up with people after we aren't seeing each other 7-8 hours a day Monday thru Friday (one of us quits) and I have my own circles of family and friends that are time sucks in the evenings and on weekends.

So, I'm cordial and polite with my co-workers but I don't really need to spend more than the work hours with them.

[cronewitch]

I got a friend request today on Facebook from a woman I used to supervise. I liked her but we have nothing in common she has 3 kids and lives way north of town I live way south and I am 30 years older than her. Nice to see pictures of her little girls the big one should be about done with 1st grade.

[giramomma]

My co-workers are mostly kept at an arm's length. I'm closer to a few of my bosses.

My top boss used to within a block of my house. He and his wife are very fond of my kids, especially since they will likely never have grandkids of their own. He's invited my older two to come with him to his farm for a day. We're welcome to come over to his house to visit anytime we can. We've also had them over a few times. I'll be inviting him to DS's little league games this summer.

One of my co-workers is very close. And she's the godparent of one of my kids. She rocks.

I don't talk a whole lot to my immediate boss. Only because I don't have a need to. When I was on fertility treatments, I was upfront about that, because that had to come before work. My life is (thankfully) stable now.

I work in a department where people stay for like 30 years or longer. So, people tend to be closer than not.

[Phoenix84]

I don't think any more than average. We talk, but don't hang outside of work. I don't think we share too many personal details.

[weltschmerz]

Pretty close. I've gone to their and their childrens' weddings, partied with them, gone out to dinner with them, gone to Pride parades with them.

[thyme4change]

I give them a lot of information that seems personal, but in reality none of it is sensitive.  Cute anecdotes that make it seem like you know me and my family life.  But, I went three years without telling anyone about my daily health problems.  It only came up because I took two days off in a row, unplanned to see two different doctors.  My boss asked me what was wrong, and I said "Nothing serious, just chronic."  I didn't tell anyone else anything.  Keeping certain tidbits to myself contributes to the facade that my life is better than yours.

[wvugurl26]

It depends. One knows everything and we do hang out outside of work. The rest are varying degrees of friendly. I think everyone is super close with someone in the office though. The people still here now will probably be around for a long time.

[Tired Tess]

When I got transferred to the dept. I'm working in now, things weren't the same.  I keep telling myself it's because all the women are about 20 yrs younger than me.  They are single and going out to clubs with each other or setting up play date for their children.

We are all nice to each other.  I do feel I have work friends.  But the friendship stops at the end of the day when I walk out the door.

[emma1420]

Given that this last week I was busy holding one of my co-worker hair out of her face while she vomited because she was drunk, I'm going to go with very close. Especially, as I know she would do the same for me. The people in my department are all very close.  We definitely share most things about our lives (although only two of them I'd consider very close friends, where I know we will stay in contact even if we leave the organisation).  I do have other co-workers that I'm friendly with but I wouldn't consider them friends.  There are also a few co-workers I either don't know very well or I dislike.

However, I work for a small organisation, and most of us have worked together for years, and many of us travel together so it would pretty miserable if we weren't friends.  but, most of my friends have come either college or the workplace.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Some of my coworkers have become my best friends - at this point, one for nearly 35 years and another for 30.

At my last job, my coworker who was my friend looked after my apartment for the 18 months while I was recovering in WA.  He came by weekly and picked up my mail and sent it to me, drove my car periodically and generally kept an eye on things.  I still talk to him periodically, at about the same rate I talk to my other coworkers from past jobs who became my friends.

[ZaireinHD]

I do envy those stories on the news when someone is late to work or doesn't show up at work and dam near the entire office goes looking for the person! pulls up the address and goes to their home to check.
ME - PFFT!
well maybe just not me - because in my current office we come and go as we please. if someone doesn't come in then they decided to work from home, or they decided to take a vacation day, or a sick day, no body has to tell anyone they are out!

I am the only black guy and single in the office so I am not close to anyone or have the same interests to my white married with children co-workers.

[Deleted]

Pretty close. We have worked together a long time and are all around the same age.

We have been thru weddings, divorces, babies, illness,  funerals of spouses and children, grandbabies, together.

We do things outside of work a few times a year, sometimes all of us, sometimes just some of us.

Some share a lot about personal lives, some less, but overall pretty tight.

I doubt if we would stay as close when someone leaves. It's the daily interaction mostly that keeps us close.

[haapai]

I'm not close to any of them, despite having worked with most of them for a decade.  I think that's pretty sad. 

I don't want the folks who maintain a separation between work and play to feel too outnumbered.  Sometimes, it's just best to maintain that separation and nobody who has had to make that choice should feel that there's something terribly wrong with them. 

[simser]

I often get suckered into conversations that are way tmi. If I don't hear about another coworkers vasectomy again, I'll be ok with that. I'm up to 5 or 6 conversations (that I didn't start!!)

I've been at parties where I could tell you the drug habits of my coworkers.

We are extremely open here. I don't consider them bds though. Some of them are, but no where near all.

[bobosensei]

I never get too close with co-workers.  I am an introvert and feel 40 hours a week with someone is enough

Plus it is easier to do a good job and not let your job eat your guts out if you aren't in the middle of every drama that goes on.