justme
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Post by justme on Mar 23, 2015 11:11:44 GMT -5
That could make for interesting weddings. Here's your cake - sheet cake from Sam's in blue. Here's your flowers - purple carnations. Here's your food - catered from McDonald's. Lol! Don't knock those wholesale club sheet cakes... Every one I've had was awesome! Oh they taste good, I just think the majority of brides would prefer a fancy stackable one.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 23, 2015 11:22:21 GMT -5
I think if I had received a call like lisamomof4 did, I would have made a donation to an animal shelter, called the woman back and told her that I'd used my money in a far more useful way than spending it on the wedding of any of her kin. Hey, she wanted a donation, and she got it, after all! Talk about a wacko with balls, chutzpah, gall and nerve! And then to tell the prospective donor that they are not even invited to the wedding because it's in Spanish??!! Apparently, this card-carrying, designer douchebag of a dame thinks lisamomof4 would neither understand nor appreciate a wedding in another language. Frankly, this broom-riding bozo also has the sensitivity of a Pet Rock. I think lisa handled it well. I would have told her to take her request and shove it up her derriere with a hot poker. Nancy, I think you need to stop holding your feelings in. But why, when it's so much fun to pin the devil's tail on the completely insane relation? And some of y'all clearly do have some relatives who have cracked their marbles pretty hard. I have some greedy relatives and some mean ones, but some of you have all of mine beat by a mile.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 23, 2015 11:22:33 GMT -5
The huge wedding cakes are beautiful but the ones I've had didn't taste any better than a regular sheet cake. I know that's not the point though, but I like good food at nice events. Our wedding was catered buffet-style and we got nothing but rave reviews on how great tgr food was.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Mar 23, 2015 19:16:00 GMT -5
I think you should call her back and thank her politely for providing such entertainment for a couple hundred of your best online friends
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Mar 23, 2015 19:31:32 GMT -5
This doesn't surprise me. The practice of asking for sponsors for quinceaneras for the hispanic/latino population seems to be quite common with the low income latino population in my city.
One girl's quinceanera was nicer than my wedding. This family also has someone sleeping on the couch because they can only afford a two bedroom apartment in the iffy part of town.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Mar 23, 2015 19:33:17 GMT -5
OP are you the one who some time back posted about your inlaws calling you expecting you to put up their kid and a bunch of his friends or was that someone else? Just asking because the audacity of your MIL reminded me of that post.
As to the cultural thing I don't doubt that there's a lot of donors but I've dated someone from a large Hispanic family before and live in an area with a very big Hispanic population and never heard of anyone approaching it like the OP's MIL. Maybe it's because I'm not Hispanic but I probably would have lost it via hysterical laughter when she mentioned you aren't actually invited but can be listed as a donor. I think there's a difference between asking for donors and expecting donations and the way the OP made it sound it was expected more than requested.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 23, 2015 19:37:32 GMT -5
Please donate but ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Mar 23, 2015 21:45:21 GMT -5
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Mar 23, 2015 21:47:48 GMT -5
Nothing wrong with a sheet cake for the wedding (just don't have it at the head table for the cake-cutting.)
My father was an Instructor/Teacher at a technical/art/culinary college. The students in the culinary school made my wedding cake.
They made a beautiful 3-tiered cake for the head table. The top & middle layers of the cake were "fake-cake". They were styro-foam blocks that were iced & decorated the same as the bottom real cake layer.
Large pans of sheet cake had been baked & iced separately and sliced into serving portions to serve for dessert.
When it came to the cake-cutting ceremony, we sliced into the real bottom layer of the head-table cake for photos.
The portions of the sheet cakes were plated in the kitchen of the venue & then served to quests.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Mar 23, 2015 22:03:13 GMT -5
Nothing wrong with a sheet cake for the wedding (just don't have it at the head table for the cake-cutting.)
My father was an Instructor/Teacher at a technical/art/culinary college. The students in the culinary school made my wedding cake.
They made a beautiful 3-tiered cake for the head table. The top & middle layers of the cake were "fake-cake". They were styro-foam blocks that were iced & decorated the same as the bottom real cake layer.
Large pans of sheet cake had been baked & iced separately and sliced into serving portions to serve for dessert.
When it came to the cake-cutting ceremony, we sliced into the real bottom layer of the head-table cake for photos.
The portions of the sheet cakes were plated in the kitchen of the venue & then served to quests.
They didn't make the top one real, for your first anniversary? My mom does wedding cakes, and while she's never done fake layers she does frequently do "kitchen" cakes in addition to the official wedding cake on display, to reach the necessary servings without having to resort to satellite cakes, or way too many layers to be stable.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Mar 23, 2015 22:15:30 GMT -5
They offered to make a separate top layer to save for the 1st anniversary..... They also advised me that if that cake were frozen and then thawed after 1 yr, it would be dry and pretty much inedible. Not surprising. Cake doesn't freeze well over time.
We saved the top "fake" layer and had it in our china cabinet for the 1st year - til the frosting had pretty much dried out and fallen apart.
There are still the pictures, which have lasted a hell of a lot longer than the cake and fake-cake.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 23, 2015 22:34:37 GMT -5
DH and I froze the top layer of our wedding cake and did eat it on our 1st anniversary. If I recall correctly, it wasn't as good as the day of the wedding, but I don't recall it being dry or pretty much inedible.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Mar 24, 2015 5:17:33 GMT -5
Talk about a wacko with balls, chutzpah, gall and nerve! And then to tell the prospective donor that they are not even invited to the wedding because it's in Spanish??!! Apparently, this card-carrying, designer douchebag of a dame thinks lisamomof4 would neither understand nor appreciate a wedding in another language. WHEEE! I am glad to see I spelled chuzpah properly. I am nevr sure when it comes to yiddish expressions.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 24, 2015 7:02:29 GMT -5
DH and I froze the top layer of our wedding cake and did eat it on our 1st anniversary. If I recall correctly, it wasn't as good as the day of the wedding, but I don't recall it being dry or pretty much inedible. SAme here. But it was extremely well wrapped and sealed. Maybe that had something to do with it?
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Value Buy
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Post by Value Buy on Mar 24, 2015 8:28:41 GMT -5
I would have been bleeding/hemorrhaging from biting my tongue.
Under the circumstances, I think you showed great restraint in not actually telling them how you really felt about their demands.
I'd be tempted to only send the "happy couple" a card of best wishes, considering you weren't even invited. How tacky trying to hit you up/guilt you into "donating" that size of cash to fund their wedding. This is the new America. Get used to it.
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 24, 2015 8:42:50 GMT -5
I would have been bleeding/hemorrhaging from biting my tongue.
Under the circumstances, I think you showed great restraint in not actually telling them how you really felt about their demands.
I'd be tempted to only send the "happy couple" a card of best wishes, considering you weren't even invited. How tacky trying to hit you up/guilt you into "donating" that size of cash to fund their wedding. This is the new America. Get used to it. No, the new America would have a journalist writing a very dramatic article describing OP's callous treatment of MIL and how OP is depriving MIL's family of their basic rights to a decent wedding. Then, politicians would cite the growing inequity in weddings between families as evidence that OP's family is not paying their fair share... and would raise taxes to start the new Obamaglama Party Equality Program (PEP for short because it needs a catchy acronym).
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 24, 2015 8:49:23 GMT -5
This is the new America. Get used to it. No, the new America would have a journalist writing a very dramatic article describing OP's callous treatment of MIL and how OP is depriving MIL's family of their basic rights to a decent wedding. Then, politicians would cite the growing inequity in weddings between families as evidence that OP's family is not paying their fair share... and would raise taxes to start the new Obamaglama Party Equality Program (PEP for short because it needs a catchy acronym). Gawd, I love a post like this first thing in the morning. Milee, you're hilarious even when we disagree.
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 24, 2015 9:19:49 GMT -5
Milee, you're hilarious even when we disagree. I can't imagine what we could possibly disagree on.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 24, 2015 9:21:03 GMT -5
I'm Mexican and it is quite common in the Hispanic community to have donors or "godparents" for weddings. We don't do it in my family, but we are pretty Americanized. I have seen it done in more traditional hispanic families though.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Mar 24, 2015 9:40:11 GMT -5
I'm Mexican and it is quite common in the Hispanic community to have donors or "godparents" for weddings. We don't do it in my family, but we are pretty Americanized. I have seen it done in more traditional hispanic families though. But do you solicit them and from folks who aren't invited to the wedding?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 24, 2015 10:20:15 GMT -5
I lived next door to a Hispanic family and those parties were a blast! The food was amazing. Out of consideration for their noise and to use my driveway for parking extra cars, I was invited to a lot of gatherings. The kids and I hung out because, one, they spoke English only, and two, they were assimilating and were embarrassed by some of the family and the gatherings. I told them they'd grow out of the "I'm embarrassed" stage as all children go through it. But I always brought the wine and beer and soda because I'm sure anything I cooked or bought would have been ignored. I ate stuff that I had no clue what it was but it was damn good!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 24, 2015 10:37:32 GMT -5
I'm Mexican and it is quite common in the Hispanic community to have donors or "godparents" for weddings. We don't do it in my family, but we are pretty Americanized. I have seen it done in more traditional hispanic families though. But do you solicit them and from folks who aren't invited to the wedding? Um. No. I must say that it does take some balls (or stupidity) to ask someone for several thousand dollars for a wedding they are not even invited to. And from someone that's not even related to the bride or groom.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Mar 24, 2015 11:10:48 GMT -5
HOW ARE THESE REAL PEOPLE?!?! I don't even......so I'm trying to underst.....they want you to...??..I just can't.
Good luck! I hope your daughter doesn't murder her MIL one day!!
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 24, 2015 16:59:02 GMT -5
HOW ARE THESE REAL PEOPLE?!?! I don't even......so I'm trying to underst.....they want you to...??..I just can't.
Good luck! I hope your daughter doesn't murder her MIL one day!! Hey, she's going to be OK. I didn't kill mine although I may have driven her a tad crazy thru the years
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Mar 24, 2015 17:10:14 GMT -5
A family that make my family look normal...AWESOME!!! Almost! If you think MIL's are crazy wait until they are an ExMIL. ExMIL: I think you should give your ring back to my son. (Son remarried shortly after our divorce). Me: But he gave it to me - it's mine. Her: But he wants his new wife to have a nice ring. Me: Well, I'll be glad to FedX it to you as soon as I receive a Cashier's Check for 10 Grand!! Fast forward 9 months: ExMIL: You know son is getting a divorce. Me: Yep, I heard. Her: Can you please call his attorney and tell he what you know about current wife since you were friends and you know her so well. Me: Well, I've been thru one divorce with him don't need to go thru another one. These conversations took place at work and I worked in small office and my boss could hear both conversations. Boss: I don't know you EX but his mother sounds like a loon. You handled that well. Me: Yep she's a loon but I had 18 yrs of dealing with the loon!! And I won Moral of story: You think shes batty now JUST WAIT!!!!! :eek::eek::eek: Keep them coming, now my family seems super normal! Oh, sweetie... Not even close!
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Mar 24, 2015 17:29:11 GMT -5
Entertaining thread, lol. I have any number of friends with a cultural heritage that is Latino, and they would be horribly embarrassed if anyone in their social circle behaved like this!
Yes there are godparents and sponsors and other traditional relationships that are honored at a Mexican wedding (including some who step forward and offer to help defray costs because of their special relationship to the bride or groom), but it is never expected, demanded or coerced. This demand is not a Latino/Hispanic thing, this is a crazy-woman thing. Please don't pin it on culture!
I have only one crazy in-law story. My MIL (G-d rest her soul) was not exactly thrilled to see me coming into her life - she would not have chosen a nice Catholic girl for her Jewish son. We were oil and water many times, but we learned to respect and like each other, and now that's she's gone I miss her . She DID lay one doozy on me however. We were at a family party just a few short weeks after getting married (DH's side of the family) and in the middle of everything, my MIL suddenly announces (in a very loud voice) that she has chosen the name for our first daughter! Then she said the name, and explained that she had chosen it because it was a variation on her maiden name. All the conversations came to an instant halt. You could have heard a pin drop over the embarrassed silence in the room. I said nothing, and after a few seconds someone in the room started up the chatting again. Thankfully it passed without me having to say something.
That was the only time she overstepped her bounds about family issues and family relationships. I can laugh about it now .
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Mar 24, 2015 17:30:05 GMT -5
Don't knock those wholesale club sheet cakes... Every one I've had was awesome! Oh they taste good, I just think the majority of brides would prefer a fancy stackable one. I had a CostCo sheet cake for my wedding cake. We had little smurf toppers. Cake was delicious. Maid of Honor put some in a little cheap plastic container and put that in the chest freezer. We did have it a little past our 1 yr anniversary, and it was almost as good as when fresh. (I really don't want to think about the levels of preservatives that takes.)
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 24, 2015 17:36:45 GMT -5
Oh they taste good, I just think the majority of brides would prefer a fancy stackable one. I had a CostCo sheet cake for my wedding cake. We had little smurf toppers. Cake was delicious. Maid of Honor put some in a little cheap plastic container and put that in the chest freezer. We did have it a little past our 1 yr anniversary, and it was almost as good as when fresh. (I really don't want to think about the levels of preservatives that takes.) No preservatives were needed, Mr and Mrs. Smurf were protecting it for you
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Mar 25, 2015 9:42:24 GMT -5
DH and I had sponsors for our wedding.
We were Married in October of 1992. We had planned to Elope, but family and friends told us that is not how we do things and told us they would "sponsor" our Wedding. I was not 100% comfortable with the concept so we kept the amounts small and assigned multiple people to the larger items. Most gave $50-100 we stated no gifts although we received quite a few.
Our wedding was held in the pavilion of a county park. It was a beautiful setting on Lake Michigan. I have about $3000 in "Sponsor Contributions" recorded, but I would not be surprised to learn either that someone never paid up or that someone else gave DH $$ and it did not get recorded. There are several things listed that don't have a $$ amount next to them - that is because the sponsor bought it themselves.
I asked DH how much was normal for a sponsor and he said someone that is not family probably about $100 and family probably about $250 but then he said that the brother of his office assistant is getting married and she has been assigned the rings - she is expected to go pick them out and purchase them (DH speculated she would spend around $1,000). He thought anyone but the bride and groom buying the rings themselves was highly unusual.
The niece of his office assistant had a Quincenara (sp?) last year - DH has not admitted that he was a sponsor but they pretty much treated us like family when we arrived so I think he did donate $$. Funny story, this family is not related to us, but when DH went back to the bar to get us drinks he found his Dad's cousin's family at a table. He told his assistant that he found his relatives attending and she said the Grandson of this woman was in the honor court (Dancing) and she had invited a whole table of people to dinner but they really had no acquaintance with them.
My husband insisted when we were getting married that he did not want to have a traditional sit down meal b/c Mexicans would not understand/honor the invitation addressed to (Husband/Wife.
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 25, 2015 9:57:03 GMT -5
DH and I had sponsors for our wedding.
We were Married in October of 1992. We had planned to Elope, but family and friends told us that is not how we do things and told us they would "sponsor" our Wedding. I was not 100% comfortable with the concept so we kept the amounts small and assigned multiple people to the larger items. Most gave $50-100 we stated no gifts although we received quite a few.
Our wedding was held in the pavilion of a county park. It was a beautiful setting on Lake Michigan. I have about $3000 in "Sponsor Contributions" recorded, but I would not be surprised to learn either that someone never paid up or that someone else gave DH $$ and it did not get recorded. There are several things listed that don't have a $$ amount next to them - that is because the sponsor bought it themselves.
When you phrase it that way, it's really not that different than how weddings for poor country folk happen in some areas. I got married in 1990 and we weren't going to have a reception mainly because we didn't have the money, but many of our family and friends got together and put on a very sweet reception for us. One person brought white lights and decorated the outdoor courtyard, another person baked us a gorgeous wedding cake topped with flowers, another person donated smoked ham, others brought their homemade specialties, others served the food, and others cleaned up. It was not only very nice, but I can't tell you how loved we felt that people cared enough to do that.
So although I wouldn't have phrased it as having "sponsors" before reading your description, we did kind of have sponsors for our wedding - they were just the white, southern version.
But as far as the OP, I can't imagine actually asking someone to sponsor or donate for a wedding (our friends volunteered without anyone asking when they heard we weren't having a reception), much less asking someone who wasn't close to the family and wouldn't even be at the wedding. That's very different.
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