murphath
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Joined: Dec 22, 2010 16:12:33 GMT -5
Posts: 1,981
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Post by murphath on Mar 21, 2015 11:21:30 GMT -5
All this probably starts with how the kids are raised. We were loving but strict about certain things like school, chores, etc. When they began making money as teenagers, we taught them to save and they were expected to pay for any of their extra things: entertainment, gas, additional clothing beyond what we purchased, etc. We paid college tuition, books, room and board but personal expenses were on them. We did not charge them rent while attending college.
There were a few times between returning to school post grad, etc. that one of them lived at home. Never for very long and we didn't charge rent. They were expected to adhere to house rules: clean up after yourself, do laundry, call when late etc. DD2 lived here for 4 years while attending med school. Since that is a bit intense, we really didn't expect much from her. She paid for her gas but that's about it. DH made her lunch and dinner every day as she was in class or studying at the library.
DS never came back home to live after college. I hear that happens a lot when you go to college in San Diego! Perhaps that is more due to the fact that his now wife is from S.D.
None of the three needs any help financially (thank you, God) but if they were living in our area and trying to save to buy a condo/house, we would gladly let them live with us rent free. Calif. real estate is insane and we'd be willing to help them in that regard. But that hasn't happened: DD1 bought a home in Reno; DS and wife bought a small (676 sq ft) craftsman home in San Diego, and DD2 is renting while doing residency.
I suppose every situation is different and is perhaps dictated by the components of that situation.
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xandrose
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Joined: May 27, 2013 20:03:20 GMT -5
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Post by xandrose on Mar 22, 2015 21:47:58 GMT -5
My parents gave me one year after graduating from college to live at home rent free. After that I'd have to pay. I graduated May of 2013 and I had to move out or start paying after 5/31/14. I bought my condo and moved out on 5/30/14, so I made it just in time so I didn't have to pay rent.
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❤ mollymouser ❤
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Sarcasm is my Superpower
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Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:09:58 GMT -5
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Mar 22, 2015 23:43:18 GMT -5
My parents charged me room/board during college when I lived at home. $400 per month. Then again, they were assholes. (For reasons other than this) I also paid for college.
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weltschmerz
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Joined: Jul 25, 2011 13:37:39 GMT -5
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Post by weltschmerz on Mar 23, 2015 4:15:38 GMT -5
Once my son was out of school and of legal age, of course I charged him rent. I wasn't going to support a full-grown adult if he just wanted to sit around and play video games. It's my job as a parent to make him independent and ready for the real world. If I don't do that, then I failed. Even animals don't allow their grown offspring to stay with them indefinitely. If a young wolf wants to stay with the pack, he is expected to babysit the new litter while the parents hunt. Nobody eats for free. My son grew up to be a responsible young man. He works 2 jobs and has his own online company.
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weltschmerz
Community Leader
Joined: Jul 25, 2011 13:37:39 GMT -5
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Post by weltschmerz on Mar 23, 2015 4:15:50 GMT -5
Once my son was out of school and of legal age, of course I charged him rent. I wasn't going to support a full-grown adult if he just wanted to sit around and play video games. It's my job as a parent to make him independent and ready for the real world. If I don't do that, then I failed. Even animals don't allow their grown offspring to stay with them indefinitely. If a young wolf wants to stay with the pack, he is expected to babysit the new litter while the parents hunt. Nobody eats for free. My son grew up to be a responsible young man. He works 2 jobs and has his own online company.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 28, 2015 8:22:47 GMT -5
I think the boundaries/expectations are an important part of the equation. Before their stuff was in the house, I would tell them that there will not be a perpetual free ride, and that we will be re-evaluating this situation monthly depending on what is being done. SOME contribution would be required from day one (housework, probably). It would certainly grate on me if the kid was spoiling him/herself thanks to all that extra disposable income.
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