Should You Charge Your Adult Child Rent?

[Shooby]

When Carol Weis’ daughter graduated from college in 2006 with a degree in sociology, she didn’t have a job waiting for her. So, she got a lackluster retail gig and moved into her mom’s Massachusetts condo. At the time, Weis, who works as a substitute teacher and editor, says she wouldn’t have dreamed of charging her daughter rent.

“I was a perfectly codependent mom,” says Weis with a chuckle. “I always stepped in and took care of her—maybe because I felt guilty that her father left us when she was six years old.”

Weis’ daughter is now 29, and seven years later the two are still living together. But, as her daughter got better-paying side jobs in between studying for her master’s in social work, Weis knew it was time to broach the idea of having her make a financial contribution—if not rent, then at least splitting the household bills.

“Initially, she wasn’t thrilled about the idea of paying for some of the bills,” Weis says about her daughter. “But she knew it was the right thing to do.”

www.purpleclover.com/money/1296-should-you-charge-rent/

[Deleted]

My ex quit his job six months after graduation and moved back home with his parents. He paid rent from almost Day 1. I don't know how much, but it was a good enough deal that it took him about 3 years to finally move out again into his own apt. even though he found a good job almost immediately after he moved home. 

He had lived at home during college. It just worked for him. But they were still middle class at that point . . . a supervisor at a plant and a relatively new teacher.  It would never have dawned on any of them that an adult would live rent-free.

[Deleted]

You should work it out as a family.  If the parent has money and the kid doesn't then, 'no'.  If the parents need money, then, 'yes'.  If it is neither situation then the family should do whatever is comfortable.  It is family and not business, but money matters, so go from there.  That is my thinking.

[ArchietheDragon]

My parents didn't charge me rent.  I lived home after college for 4 or 5 years.  

My parents charged my older brother rent after his 1 year of college.  He got the hell outta there quick.

I don't think my younger sister ever lived home after college.

[Deleted]

Mar 19, 2015 18:12:15 GMT -5 @tbird said:

Mar 19, 2015 18:06:58 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

My parents didn't charge me rent.  I live home after college for 4 or 5 years.  

My parents charged my older brother rent after his 1 year of college.  He got the hell outta there quick.

I don't think my younger sister ever lived home after college.

whaaaaa....?  It's like I don't even know you.....

were you the favorite?

Why wouldn't he be?

[tskeeter]

If the child is capable of holding a job, heck yes.  Might be a token amount, or it might be fair market value, or it might be more than FMV, if the kid needs some encouragement to get out on their own.  Kind of depends on the situation.  But, I think adult children need to understand that there's no free lunch and that the expectation is that they will be self supporting.  Even when freshly out of school, a child can hold down a job.  After all, job hunting isn't really a 24 hour a day job.  There's time to pick up a night shift or weekend gig to pull in a few bucks if they really want to.  

[ArchietheDragon]

Mar 19, 2015 18:12:15 GMT -5 @tbird said:

Mar 19, 2015 18:06:58 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

My parents didn't charge me rent.  I live home after college for 4 or 5 years.  

My parents charged my older brother rent after his 1 year of college.  He got the hell outta there quick.

I don't think my younger sister ever lived home after college.

whaaaaa....?  It's like I don't even know you.....

were you the favorite?

I don't know if I would say favorite, but definitely the easiest.

[Deleted]

Mar 19, 2015 19:14:06 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Mar 19, 2015 18:12:15 GMT -5 @tbird said:

whaaaaa....?  It's like I don't even know you.....

were you the favorite?

I don't know if I would say favorite, but definitely the easiest.

Was your sister easy?

[ArchietheDragon]

Mar 19, 2015 19:17:42 GMT -5 @hickle said:

Mar 19, 2015 19:14:06 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I don't know if I would say favorite, but definitely the easiest.

Was your sister easy?

no.   not even a little.   she came out a a lesbian in sophmore year.

[Tiny]

I had to think about this for a bit. I lived at home with my mom until she died. I discovered that a lot of people thought I was 'getting a free ride' - but I wasn't I did pay rent. I started paying rent as soon as I graduated Community College and was working full time (at my minimum wage job) while I was looking for a 'real job' - it was $100.00 a month. As soon as I got my 'real job' - with a salary of $14,500 I upped the 'rent' to $250 a month.  As my income went up I upped the amount of 'rent' I paid.   Yeah, my mom bought groceries and made dinner every night and as long as I hauled my laundry to the basement on laundry day she'd get it washed and dried. FWIW - my mom was 66 yo when I was 21. I did a lot of the heavy lifting around the house and took care of the yard. So, even if I didn't pay 'rent' I still would have been required to do housework and the yard work. I paid for all my stuff (anything that wasn't a breakfast/lunch/dinner food).

I've watched my siblings kids get free rides - they live at home (no rent) AND no chores or other obligations, sometimes their parents pay for their car/gas/insurance and lend them money for fun stuff. We're talking 25 yo and older here.


All that said.

I do think a kid living at home should be responsible for contributing to the household. It builds character (ie teaches them life lessons). They should pay some fixed amount each month - it could be "rent" or for "groceries" or whatever - even if it's $100 a month. They should also be responsible for some of the housework/chores that need to get done. It's good to learn HOW to combine all the responsibilities of 'Adult life' even if you are sharing those responsibilities with your parents. Only Peter Pan gets to never grow up.

I don't think parents with money should give their kids a 'free ride'.

[busymom]

Our oldest is still in college, but we've already discussed this issue, & if she gets a job near us, she is welcome to live with us, but she will begin to pay us something in rent. We're not planning on market value, but something so that when she gets a place of her own, monthly bills won't be a total shock.

[Artemis Windsong]

The DD is an adult and should know she needs to pay her share of the living expenses and step up to it.  After all, she is educated and the topic has probably come up in conversations with her friends.

[Lizard Queen]

Yes, I think they should pay at least a little something, even if the parents turn around and gift it back to them when they get married, buy their first house, or something.  If you make things too pleasant/easy for them, they'll never get out on their own.

[midjd]

I would expect DD to contribute what she could at the time -- either financially or by helping out with cooking or chores.

DH and I lived with ILs for 5 months after we moved back to our home state (at 25). We didn't pay rent, but bought our own food and helped clean and do laundry. If our stay had been longer I would have wanted to contribute financially, but I doubt ILs would have accepted it. I am still incredibly grateful for their help.

[Ombud]

I charge 1/2 utilities plus something + she does all housekeeping (I do my own laundry) but not 'rent.' Don't want to list house as a partial rental / take depreciation / discounted basis when selling

[Bonny]

We have two close friends who are charging their two sons while they are in college $100/mth while they are in college. At least one plans on gifting the money back to the kid for a deposit when he moves out. I think this is wrong on so many levels. Their kids are already struggling in college and I think the "rent" distracts them further. The kids really need to focus on their schooling and then Mom and Dad need to help the kids after graduation with budgeting, saving et cetera. In the meantime I think kids need to pitch in with 'in-kind" contributions such as chores for the whole family; i.e. doing the family laundry 2x per week, making dinner a couple of weeks et cetera.

My parents did not believe in paying for college. I lived at home because I couldn't afford to pay for college and live away. I did A LOT of chores when I lived at home. After I graduated my mother wanted me to pay $500/mth for my room. I did what I could but couldn't afford it. This was in 1984. She kicked me out of the house. We never had a really great relationship and that didn't help. She and my dad were drinking a lot so perhaps that was a factor.

In hindsight some family budgeting discussions would have been a lot more helpful. But they were so messed up anyway it's not a surprise that thinks wound up the way they did. 10 years later they were filing for BK. At least they couldn't blame THAT on me.

[Lizard Queen]

$500/month for a room in 1984??  


(Yeah, during college, I think parents are supposed to be helping with those bills, not charging them.)

[quince]

Maybe.  We'll see what the situation is in 17 years. By the time the kid is in college, though, he will be already doing his own laundry and cooking once a week, as well as pitching in with cleaning/etc, unless he's diagnosed with some kind of disability or there are other extenuating circumstances.

[tallguy]

Yes, you should charge your adult child rent.  And I do.  It was important to raise his level of responsibility after him living with his mom for several years.  There was a lack of both structure and demands there.  I got him working and after two months to enjoy having his money started to charge him.  I charge him $100 every paycheck plus he has other obligations to the house.  I don't need the money and am more interested in instilling good financial habits, so I have told him (at least for this year) that if he saves an equivalent $2600 to fund his Roth I will match it.  He can thus get back every penny he paid for the year if he does the Dad-approved thing with it.        

[TheOtherMe]

My parents charged both DS and I rent when we lived at home and had full time jobs.  It was a minimal amount and we also had chores.  They did give us the money when we moved out.  That was how I paid for my washer and dryer.

[Opti]

Mar 19, 2015 20:26:38 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

$500/month for a room in 1984??  


(Yeah, during college, I think parents are supposed to be helping with those bills, not charging them.)

I agree that's high. I think my first apartment in NJ in 1985 was about $600/mo.

I'm glad all that is in the past for you Bonny.

[msventoux]

I lived at home without paying rent for a while.  However my parents "borrowed" money from me that never got paid back.  It would have been cheaper to go rent a place. 

[ners]

I was charged 20% of my take home pay from the time I started working at 16.  I paid for my own college (went to a state school and lived at home).  There was a 6 six month period right before my wedding when I did not have to pay rent,  Paid for own wedding. 

I have a sister that still lives with my dad.  She is supposed to pay the cable bill. 

If you are 29 living at home you should be contributing to the household,

[stillmovingforward]

My DS1 just moved out. He lived at home, rent-free, for 7 months after he graduated from college. He had a job that he went to every time he was on the schedule without fail.  He was required to pay for his own stuff (food, clothes, entertainment, vehicle, etc.) and do chores around the house.  He also contributed to paying a few bills, would buy treats for everyone that I typically won't buy, and helped with his younger siblings.  By living at home, he was able to save enough money to pay his first, last, and damage deposit in a HCOL city where he got a job. 

OTOH- he was close to being charged rent.  After he didn't find a job for 6 months, we started discussing what would be happening.  Thankfully, he was on-board with my 'demands' but found a job soon after and moved.

[Deleted]

Well, I lived at home until I was 23 rent free.  I didn't help with anything around the house much either as I was never there.  I was at school all day and worked a second shift job.  I mainly just came home to sleep.  I WANTED to get my own place, but my Mom was adamant that I not waste my money and I was cool with that.

I don't know that it messed me up any financially because I moved out of my parent's house into my own house that I bought and have never (that I can think of) been late on a household bill in the 23 years since I've moved out. 

I'm not sure what I'll do if my kids don't leave the nest in a timely manner.  For sure I would let them stay at home rent free while going to school if they chose a school in town.  After that, I don't know.  I'll be getting old, I might be begging them to stay to help with the snow plowing. 

[billisonboard]

Mar 19, 2015 19:18:39 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Mar 19, 2015 19:17:42 GMT -5 @hickle said:

Was your sister easy?

no.   not even a little.   she came out a a lesbian in sophmore year.

Can't a lesbian be easy?

[cronewitch]

I think it depends on the child. I like the idea of charging 25% of what they earn so if a kid is making 1,000 a month they pay 250 but when they are making 3,000 they are paying 750 etc. Then when they start thinking they rather live somewhere else they have incentive but still can afford to live at home and not feel like a mooch.

I can see other cases where free might be ok for a while. I moved home at 34 but only stayed a month, I was working a lot of overtime so seldom there and needed to find an apartment and buy furniture. Dad wanted me to stay home rent free and save for a house for 4 years but I didn't want to and earned enough to support myself.
My niece is 42 living with her parents and her 18 and 15 year olds have rooms too. They don't charge her because she sold her house and will be finding a new house so saving her money, she works, boy goes to college, girl goes to high school. Her parents want her to stay and they have a 5 bedroom house she isn't earning much getting on feet after divorce.
Her brother moved home after an apartment fire at 20, no rent. They expected him to pay off credit cards and save money, he loaned a girl his credit card bought her an engagement ring so after 2 years free rent was worse off than when they started. They explained pay rent or move out so he got a studio apartment.
I hate seeing grown adult kids sponging off parents when the kid is playing and the parents not having enough money. I knew a man who was widowed, he was supporting his mother and his son, his mom did the cooking and cleaning so earned her keep. The boy worked with dad in a good union job, owned cars, boats, toys but had dad supporting him when dad couldn't afford toys.

[Peace Of Mind]

Yes, unless they are special needs.  If you don't want to keep it just give it to them when they move out to help them out financially but it's a good learning tool on how to manage their money and to understand financial responsibilities.

I was 17 and still in high school and worked since I was 15 years old and I was charged $200/mth. rent.  You could get a furnished studio apt. back then for $225/mth.    Out of 7 kids I was the ONLY one charged.  When I asked about that I was told I was the only one that was responsible and had a job making enough money.  I worked in fast food until 16 then started working at a bank at 17.  I bought my own car (parents did co-sign my loan) at 15 before I even had a driver's license.  I paid for my own social stuff, car insurance, car payment, and rent.  When I moved out right after I graduated high school (and turned 18 - legal age where they couldn't do anything about it) my mom couldn't understand why I was in such a hurry to leave home.    Without mentioning the abuse (various kinds), dysfunction and alcoholism AND being charged rent I can't understand why either.  

My parents were asses but I learned a lot from them and their assiness.  

[mamasita99]

Mar 19, 2015 23:20:04 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

I was 17 and still in high school and worked since I was 15 years old and I was charged $200/mth. rent.  You could get a furnished studio apt. back then for $225/mth.    Out of 7 kids I was the ONLY one charged.  When I asked about that I was told I was the only one that was responsible and had a job making enough money. 

  At 17?!! The responsible one was expected to contribute, just because you were responsible. While the lazy ones got to pay nothing. Speaks volumes.

[Deleted]

Mar 19, 2015 21:40:48 GMT -5 ners said:

I was charged 20% of my take home pay from the time I started working at 16.  I paid for my own college (went to a state school and lived at home).  There was a 6 six month period right before me wedding when I did not have to pay rent,  Paid for own wedding. 

I have a sister that still lives with my dad.  She is supposed to pay the cable bill. 

If you are 29 living at home you should be contributing to the household,

your parents charged you rent while you were still a minor?  did you have to pay for your own food too?  yet I'm betting they claimed you on their taxes.