TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 9:19:41 GMT -5
Yep but that is to be expected. In their mind you are the evil BIATCH that broke their baby heart. Just brush it off your shoulder. Can you afford a handy man and go 50/50 of the cost with your ex-husband? Can you afford to keep the house? Are you guys going to walk away with any profit? Do you have girlfriends living nearby? You can have them come over and help out when your son is with his dad? Or why don't you move into an apartment and let your ex worry about getting the house ready to sale if you have no intentions of holding on to it? Maybe that will force his family/parents to help out more fixing it? neither of us can afford to keep it. If we spruce it up a bit more, we should be able to walk away with at least some profit. It's an old house that needs a lot of updating, but it's in a really good school district and within walking distance to the elementary and middle school. I still have to pay half the mortgage and PMI. I wouldn't feel right at all just walking away and leaving the bill to X, especially since we're both on the deed. I had an insane plan for us to get apartments now and then default on the house, but X will need a new car soon and he won't be able to get it with trashed credit. as I said earlier, I don't really have any local friends. How much longer before you can put it on the market? This spring/summer? Will everything be completed then? Can he get a new car now?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 9:19:41 GMT -5
you're both right. And hell no, I'm not talking to them about this - it's something I'll have to talk to X about.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 17, 2015 9:52:30 GMT -5
I'm sorry they are being jerks.
Yep but that is to be expected.In their mind you are the evil BIATCH that broke their baby heart. Just brush it off your shoulder. Can you afford a handy man and go 50/50 of the cost with your ex-husband? Can you afford to keep the house? Are you guys going to walk away with any profit? Do you have girlfriends living nearby? You can have them come over and help out when your son is with his dad? Or why don't you move into an apartment and let your ex worry about getting the house ready to sale if you have no intentions of holding on to it? Maybe that will force his family/parents to help out more fixing it? No, I don't expect grown adults to act like teenagers. What Nancy said is right. This isn't about her, it's about the little boy who loves both his mommy and daddy and needs then to cooperate.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 9:59:13 GMT -5
Yep but that is to be expected.In their mind you are the evil BIATCH that broke their baby heart. Just brush it off your shoulder. Can you afford a handy man and go 50/50 of the cost with your ex-husband? Can you afford to keep the house? Are you guys going to walk away with any profit? Do you have girlfriends living nearby? You can have them come over and help out when your son is with his dad? Or why don't you move into an apartment and let your ex worry about getting the house ready to sale if you have no intentions of holding on to it? Maybe that will force his family/parents to help out more fixing it? No, I don't expect grown adults to act like teenagers. What Nancy said is right. This isn't about her, it's about the little boy who loves both his mommy and daddy and needs then to cooperate. Off course it is right: in a perfect world. In a world where everyone is well adjusted and can take emotions out of every decisions. Unfortunate we are a long way from a perfect world and we are all humans. And you are right: it is between MJ, Xhusband and their son. More reason that the grandparents are under no circumstances obligated to babysit unless they want to. They are perfectly within their rights to not like MJ and not want to help her out. Screwed up maybe, but perfectly within their rights.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 17, 2015 9:59:21 GMT -5
you're both right. And hell no, I'm not talking to them about this - it's something I'll have to talk to X about. Good for you. And note to Carl...you are right. That is how dysfunctional families work. And someone has to break the chain somewhere. The longer this goes on, the longer the ex-inlaws will think it's OK to act this way. And the longer they do, the more the boy absorbs, and in turn, HE learns to think it's OK, that this is all "normal." MJ does not have to put up with it. And if her XH has free room and board, well, good for him. That is still no excuse for allowing them to walk on his XW and mother of his son. I don't care if they are paying him to stay in their house. MJ does not deserve anyone's disrespect, ever. Her son has to see that his mommy is a strong, deserving person who takes no crap, yet still gets along with family, even if it's not family they are legally part of anymore. And it's not about rights. They can say no anytime. It's when they make it stupidly obvious that it's a game to hurt someone that it becomes wrong.
And FWIW, they can be as wrong as they want. It's their right to be wrong. But it will come back to bite them .
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 17, 2015 10:07:02 GMT -5
Hugs MJ.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 17, 2015 10:14:20 GMT -5
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 10:19:36 GMT -5
X is having issues with his parents at the moment, so that may also be why they aren't scrambling to help him out any more. They are conditional givers to the core - the type of people I can't stand, and X is finally starting to see that. I think I need to drill into him that the sooner we sell, the sooner he can move out.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 10:35:33 GMT -5
You are in Northern NJ Good School District Good Location Walking distance to schools Your house will have no problem selling Price range you are thinking?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 10:54:05 GMT -5
It's in central NJ, but the school system is excellent. It's near a bus stop, and that bus takes you into a town containing the state university, two big hospitals, and other large employers in the area. The train and bus to NYC are also in that town.
The house is 3 beds, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, about 1/3 acre property but with a shitload of trees. Central air and heat, but there's also a wood-burning stove in the dining room area. We ripped up the carpets and refinished the wood floors, and we painted the interior walls, but that's about it. The basement seems leaky and that's a relatively recent problem.
The realtor is thinking to list it at a little over $300k because she knows we want at least some profit.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 11:03:46 GMT -5
It's in central NJ, but the school system is excellent. It's near a bus stop, and that bus takes you into a town containing the state university, two big hospitals, and other large employers in the area. The train and bus to NYC are also in that town. The house is 3 beds, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, about 1/3 acre property but with a shitload of trees. Central air and heat, but there's also a wood-burning stove in the dining room area. We ripped up the carpets and refinished the wood floors, and we painted the interior walls, but that's about it. The basement seems leaky and that's a relatively recent problem. The realtor is thinking to list it at a little over $300k because she knows we want at least some profit. Oh yeah Central, 2 of my cousins went to college in your town. How much time or work you think you need before you list it? Elbow grease? Is the handy man option at all possible? Now you can list it at over 300k, the question is is it going to sale at that price? Is that comparable to recent listing within your area?
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 17, 2015 11:07:23 GMT -5
X is having issues with his parents at the moment, so that may also be why they aren't scrambling to help him out any more. They are conditional givers to the core - the type of people I can't stand, and X is finally starting to see that. I think I need to drill into him that the sooner we sell, the sooner he can move out. Good plan....use a little bait to get what you want. And BTW, we are coming up to seaside NJ later this year. Galloway/Absecon area, if that helps.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 17, 2015 11:08:00 GMT -5
It's in central NJ, but the school system is excellent. It's near a bus stop, and that bus takes you into a town containing the state university, two big hospitals, and other large employers in the area. The train and bus to NYC are also in that town. The house is 3 beds, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, about 1/3 acre property but with a shitload of trees. Central air and heat, but there's also a wood-burning stove in the dining room area. We ripped up the carpets and refinished the wood floors, and we painted the interior walls, but that's about it. The basement seems leaky and that's a relatively recent problem. The realtor is thinking to list it at a little over $300k because she knows we want at least some profit. You don't pick a price because you want profit. You look at comps and determine the price from there. If you lost too high you are going to knock out potential buyers
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 11:14:48 GMT -5
It's in central NJ, but the school system is excellent. It's near a bus stop, and that bus takes you into a town containing the state university, two big hospitals, and other large employers in the area. The train and bus to NYC are also in that town. The house is 3 beds, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, about 1/3 acre property but with a shitload of trees. Central air and heat, but there's also a wood-burning stove in the dining room area. We ripped up the carpets and refinished the wood floors, and we painted the interior walls, but that's about it. The basement seems leaky and that's a relatively recent problem. The realtor is thinking to list it at a little over $300k because she knows we want at least some profit. You don't pick a price because you want profit. You look at comps and determine the price from there. If you lost too high you are going to knock out potential buyers The realtor picked the price. She's been doing this for a pretty long time so I'm sure she took the proper things into account.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 11:33:13 GMT -5
TheHaitian, I think we're going to do as much as we can ourselves and hire out the rest. We'll definitely need to hire landscapers because the lawn and flower beds are a hot mess. Guess who's responsibility it was to care for them? I am now enjoying some post-lunch Oreos. One problem solved!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 11:41:28 GMT -5
It's in central NJ, but the school system is excellent. It's near a bus stop, and that bus takes you into a town containing the state university, two big hospitals, and other large employers in the area. The train and bus to NYC are also in that town. The house is 3 beds, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, about 1/3 acre property but with a shitload of trees. Central air and heat, but there's also a wood-burning stove in the dining room area. We ripped up the carpets and refinished the wood floors, and we painted the interior walls, but that's about it. The basement seems leaky and that's a relatively recent problem. The realtor is thinking to list it at a little over $300k because she knows we want at least some profit. if you/realtor don't think you're going to get over $300k for it, don't list it at that - you will have lost every single buyer whose upper limit is $300k. as far as needing someone to watch DS - get a babysitter. I never had anyone to watch my kids for free, if I wanted to do anything without them I had to do it during daycare hours or pay for additional care.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 11:42:18 GMT -5
TheHaitian, I think we're going to do as much as we can ourselves and hire out the rest. We'll definitely need to hire landscapers because the lawn and flower beds are a hot mess. Guess who's responsibility it was to care for them? I am now enjoying some post-lunch Oreos. One problem solved! go to chick fil a drive through on your way home and get a milkshake yummy!!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 17, 2015 11:45:42 GMT -5
TheHaitian, I think we're going to do as much as we can ourselves and hire out the rest. We'll definitely need to hire landscapers because the lawn and flower beds are a hot mess. Guess who's responsibility it was to care for them? I am now enjoying some post-lunch Oreos. One problem solved! go to chick fil a drive through on your way home and get a milkshake yummy!! They do make the awesomest milkshakes! My deal is that it's OK to get one, but I have to walk to the nearest Chik-Fil-A to get it. It's about a half-mile walk there and half-mile back. So at least I walk off a few calories.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 11:51:25 GMT -5
It's in central NJ, but the school system is excellent. It's near a bus stop, and that bus takes you into a town containing the state university, two big hospitals, and other large employers in the area. The train and bus to NYC are also in that town. The house is 3 beds, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, about 1/3 acre property but with a shitload of trees. Central air and heat, but there's also a wood-burning stove in the dining room area. We ripped up the carpets and refinished the wood floors, and we painted the interior walls, but that's about it. The basement seems leaky and that's a relatively recent problem. The realtor is thinking to list it at a little over $300k because she knows we want at least some profit. if you/realtor don't think you're going to get over $300k for it, don't list it at that - you will have lost every single buyer whose upper limit is $300k. as far as needing someone to watch DS - get a babysitter. I never had anyone to watch my kids for free, if I wanted to do anything without them I had to do it during daycare hours or pay for additional care. We barely have the money to fix the house up, so we're trying to watch our pennies very closely. I'm hoping my mom can keep DS busy while we work. Great, another reason to go to Chick-Fil-A! But there are none really close to me. I might pop over to Sonic though...
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 17, 2015 11:52:59 GMT -5
TheHaitian, I think we're going to do as much as we can ourselves and hire out the rest. We'll definitely need to hire landscapers because the lawn and flower beds are a hot mess. Guess who's responsibility it was to care for them? Yours?
can you just rent a rototiller, take out the flower beds, and lay down grass seed?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 12:01:36 GMT -5
how do you drive a rototiller? Do you drive a rototiller? What is a rototiller?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 17, 2015 12:17:30 GMT -5
Think of a snow blower designed to churn up dirt. You rototill an area and it breaks up the clumps of dirt (you do this when it's dry) and clay. Rototilling does tend to turn up old seeds and whatnot and can make a new area look worse. We have one and try to use it at least twice a year on the garden areas. In spring before we plant and in fall after we pull everything up. ETA - ours handles like a lawnmower or the snowblower. Badly.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 17, 2015 12:17:51 GMT -5
how do you drive a rototiller? Do you drive a rototiller? What is a rototiller? You walk behind it, kind of like a lawnmower. It turns the soil and pulls out weeds, flowers, etc, and puts them under the soil. You spread grass seed on top of the pretty dirt. Water. Cover with hay. Mark it off with sticks and string. Watch the birds eat some of the grass seed.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Mar 17, 2015 12:19:59 GMT -5
how do you drive a rototiller? Do you drive a rototiller? What is a rototiller? You walk behind it, kind of like a lawnmower. It turns the soil and pulls out weeds, flowers, etc, and puts them under the soil. You spread grass seed on top of the pretty dirt. Water. Cover with hay. Mark it off with sticks and string. Watch the birds eat some of the grass seed. And if you are just trying to make it look nice to sell quickly, get the contractor grade seed that germinates fast and easy and will look great and green this year. Next year it will look like shit, but you will be gone by then.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 12:31:55 GMT -5
We barely have the money to fix the house up, so we're trying to watch our pennies very closely. I'm hoping my mom can keep DS busy while we work. How much does your realtor think you can sale it for "as is"? A "handy man" special? Save yourself the trouble and keep money you have. If you are going to spend 10k only to get 10k back, might be worth it to just forgo the 10k and not go through the trouble.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Mar 17, 2015 12:53:08 GMT -5
You don't pick a price because you want profit. You look at comps and determine the price from there. If you lost too high you are going to knock out potential buyers The realtor picked the price. She's been doing this for a pretty long time so I'm sure she took the proper things into account. Did she show you the comps? Even in a desirable area, you have to price it right. Especially if you want it gone. We priced ours right at FMV. Had 2 offers and a contact in 8 days at a price $5k less. Did we make a profit? No, but we can walk away without owing either and we won't be owning a house 8 hrs away.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 12:57:34 GMT -5
You walk behind it, kind of like a lawnmower. It turns the soil and pulls out weeds, flowers, etc, and puts them under the soil. You spread grass seed on top of the pretty dirt. Water. Cover with hay. Mark it off with sticks and string. Watch the birds eat some of the grass seed. And if you are just trying to make it look nice to sell quickly, get the contractor grade seed that germinates fast and easy and will look great and green this year. Next year it will look like shit, but you will be gone by then. I'm so doing this. I'm on the Home Depot site now - they have tillers and blowers that I can rent. Thanks swamp and Wisconsin Beth!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 12:59:59 GMT -5
The realtor picked the price. She's been doing this for a pretty long time so I'm sure she took the proper things into account. Did she show you the comps? Even in a desirable area, you have to price it right. Especially if you want it gone. We priced ours right at FMV. Had 2 offers and a contact in 8 days at a price $5k less. Did we make a profit? No, but we can walk away without owing either and we won't be owning a house 8 hrs away. I wasn't there - she talked to X about it. And it's not like it's listed yet anyway - I'm sure we will all sit down and discuss it in detail as we get closer to listing time.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 17, 2015 13:06:11 GMT -5
MJ2.0 - be careful when you're near siding. We've put gashes into our siding from the rototiller blades. We're not going anywhere any time soon, so we ignore them but if you're trying to sell, you're gonna want to be careful. And be careful about rototilling and putting grass seed down. We had a thread a few years back from someone who insisted the lawn guy do it this way and they had a terrible looking lawn coming in because all the weed seeds and crabgrass grew faster than the seed. If you're going to make the yard look better - talk to someone in the lawn section at your Home Depot before you rip it up - it's kinda like a haircut in that once you start, you have to finish.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 17, 2015 14:12:39 GMT -5
And if you are just trying to make it look nice to sell quickly, get the contractor grade seed that germinates fast and easy and will look great and green this year. Next year it will look like shit, but you will be gone by then. I'm so doing this. I'm on the Home Depot site now - they have tillers and blowers that I can rent. Thanks swamp and Wisconsin Beth! Tillers, blowers...sheesh. Next thing you know, you'll be doing this like a pro and working on the neighbors' yards. And that sexy man you are looking for will happen to drive through the neighborhood, stop his car, walk over and say, "Nice blow(er) job."
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