midjd
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Your Money Admin
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Post by midjd on Mar 16, 2015 15:37:36 GMT -5
Aw, MJ. If you lived a couple of states west I would hang out with you, you seem pretty awesome.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 16, 2015 15:40:23 GMT -5
It's pretty normal for a little kid to miss the parent that isn't there. I wouldn't worry about that. I'd worry more if he didn't ask. apparently he never asks about me. Or the ex isn't tellig you
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 16, 2015 15:42:40 GMT -5
apparently he never asks about me. Or the ex isn't tellig you
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2015 16:22:00 GMT -5
Alright Universe, I'm gonna need the following: 1. An Oreo milkshake, cookies and cream ice cream, or something Oreo-related right now. 2. My back-neighbors to get their shit together with the insurance company and the tree that fell IN THE SUMMER so we can remove it, fix the fence, and sell the damn house. 3. The front and back lawn to be magically trimmed, green, and leaf/branch-free. 4. A huge raise so that I can more comfortably continue hemorrhaging money. 5. Add some Kahlua to that milkshake. And then add a little more. 6. Someone to remind me that I'm pretty, smart, and fun to be around.... and to also give me a manual detailing what men think is good/acceptable communication.7. My kid to consistently sleep in his own room. 8. My kid to actually behave and listen. 9. My kid to go more than a few hours without whining for dad. 10. Add a brownie sundae to the Oreo-Kahlua milkshake. Post a picture and I will tell you you are pretty. You are pretty smart and fun to read. I didn't see the part after manual detailing at first and didn't know what you meant, but I was willing to give that a go.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 16, 2015 16:24:00 GMT -5
I think I'm just lonely in general. I don't have any family or friends here. I joined Meetup a couple of years ago and I've been to a few group events, but I don't seem to really click with anyone too much - guy or girl. There is a mom's group that does nights out, but they are always on a night that I have DS and I can't go... plus they're mostly SAHMs and a lot of the activities are during the workday. There is a girl's group that is pretty fun, but I can't afford to go out with them every weekend. I can only sit home and veg out to Netflix for so long. So far, you've listed what you don't have, cannot do and don't seem to click with. It's a pity party, and all it needs is that Oreo milkshake. And you know what, it's completely OK...for now. It's fine to feel sad and sorry and alone and unwanted and negatively focused...for now. Give all these feelings a chance to run a good, solid course. Really. You've suffered a loss of many things. It's the death of a relationship and so much more. Get a calendar and mark off these days. Give yourself a goal of feeling this way for the next calendar month and a half (so, the rest of March plus all of April). On May 1, turn over the calendar. Start over. No, all the feelings of loss and pain will not be gone. But what you've allowed for yourself is some "ugly" time. You've given yourself permission to feel like crap and let the dark side seep out and the pain encompass everything. Basically, you've allowed yourself to go through some of the grieving process. Right now, you seem to be bounding back and forth between wanting to move on with a new life/new love and not being able to find a place where you fit in to the point where you can do things as an individual. You'll find the happier place in time. And it won't be about how much it costs, or how much you go out, or with whom. It will still be about you.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Mar 16, 2015 17:47:14 GMT -5
To me that makes zero sense. You're supposed to get well/recover in a hospital. If you can't sleep how does this miracle occur? I agree. It is hard to sleep, and my first surgery I was in hospital Ned rehab (almost as bad) for 6 weeks. 6 weeks of crappy sleeping patterns really does a job on you, as things get screwed up, your days and nights get turned around. It sucks, and when you're uncomfortable to begin with and sleeping is hard, you never feel rested. I discovered in the hospital sleeping pills do not work for me.
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Jake 48
Senior Member
keeping the faith
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Post by Jake 48 on Mar 16, 2015 20:13:28 GMT -5
"6. Someone to remind me that I'm pretty, smart, and fun to be around.... and to also give me a manual detailing what men think is good/acceptable communication." MJ OK, your pretty, smart and fun to be around I'm not speaking for all guys but something along the lines of " get me liquored up and ride me hard" is acceptable communication hang in there, we're here for you
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Mar 16, 2015 21:11:27 GMT -5
MJ,
You need to think longer term. Not in "5 years from now", but, "in due time".
And, IIRC, there are several women on here with children who found love again after a previous marriage ended. It WILL happen for you if you want it, but "in due time". In the meantime, make lots of memories with your DS. As the parent of a high school senior and a high school junior, I can tell you based upon personal experience that your DS will be grown and moving on to his own life in the blink of an eye. I don't mean to imply that you aren't "in the moment" already or that being a parent is always a Kodak moment, but we only get to actively parent them for a few short years and then we let go. So, while you're waiting for a new love to arrive in due time, enjoy your time with your DS.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Mar 16, 2015 23:01:24 GMT -5
I think I'm just lonely in general. I don't have any family or friends here. I joined Meetup a couple of years ago and I've been to a few group events, but I don't seem to really click with anyone too much - guy or girl. There is a mom's group that does nights out, but they are always on a night that I have DS and I can't go... plus they're mostly SAHMs and a lot of the activities are during the workday. There is a girl's group that is pretty fun, but I can't afford to go out with them every weekend . I can only sit home and veg out to Netflix for so long.I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Do you have any hobbies? There are options between watching tv and being out on the town. I don't know if you are religious or not, but a place of worship might be a place to find companionship. Could you get plugged into a service organization? What about even checking something like toastmasters out? Our public library system does more than offer book discussions. They run lots of interest groups. I'm not up on your job, but would you consider trying to flex your hours to 4 ten hour days, and then you can do the SAHM one day during the week? What about even looking into taking a MOOC? MOOCs are generally free. Do you have any professional development that you should be working on?
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 16, 2015 23:07:30 GMT -5
Aw, MJ. If you lived a couple of states west I would hang out with you, you seem pretty awesome. Also, I think our kids would have playing together too.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 8:20:36 GMT -5
Couple of things:
1. I had a long talk with a good friend yesterday and it put some things into perspective for me. I want to find companionship, but one of the hardest things for me to do is leave things up to fate/God/Universe. Basically, I'd like to meet someone and see where it goes, and sometimes I have to fight my control freak nature so I'm not trying to force something that I don't need or am not ready for. 2. There seems to be the thought/implication that I can't care for/appreciate spending time with DS while also wanting my own companionship. DS is not a companion, he's a child. And I only have him for about half the week... should I just curl up in the fetal position on the days that I don't have him? Of course I focus on and try to make memories with DS. 3. I don't like ruminating in self-loathing and unhappiness, as I already tend to do that on a yearly basis between Thanksgiving and Christmas. So no, I'm not going to throw myself an extended pity party. I do get down about my situation sometimes, but then it's immediately followed by thoughts on how to fix/improve it. I'm applying to part-time jobs to try and help slow the bleeding a bit. I've requested some days off so I can work on getting the house together to put it on the market (my mom is also planning to come up and help). Yes of course I'll talk to X to see how much he can help since it's his damn house too, but I can only control myself and my resources.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 17, 2015 8:24:10 GMT -5
Where is X living?
Can you get along well enough to get him to come over and help with some projects?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 8:28:32 GMT -5
I think I'm just lonely in general. I don't have any family or friends here. I joined Meetup a couple of years ago and I've been to a few group events, but I don't seem to really click with anyone too much - guy or girl. There is a mom's group that does nights out, but they are always on a night that I have DS and I can't go... plus they're mostly SAHMs and a lot of the activities are during the workday. There is a girl's group that is pretty fun, but I can't afford to go out with them every weekend . I can only sit home and veg out to Netflix for so long.I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Do you have any hobbies? There are options between watching tv and being out on the town. I don't know if you are religious or not, but a place of worship might be a place to find companionship. Could you get plugged into a service organization? What about even checking something like toastmasters out? Our public library system does more than offer book discussions. They run lots of interest groups. I'm not up on your job, but would you consider trying to flex your hours to 4 ten hour days, and then you can do the SAHM one day during the week? What about even looking into taking a MOOC? MOOCs are generally free. Do you have any professional development that you should be working on? I do have some things that may be hobbies: exercise, making scented body oils, playing games, drawing, photography... and I do those things when I can/am in the mood. I'm not really religious, so no church for me. I did think about getting involved with Habitat For Humanity a while ago... might look into that. Can't flex my hours. My library does have a book club, but it seems pretty popular to the point where the books they are reading that month aren't even available to check out. No professional development - at least none that's within my budget. Once the house is sold and we're all settled in our respective new homes, I'm going to start taking some math courses to prepare for applying to grad school.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 8:31:08 GMT -5
Where is X living?
Can you get along well enough to get him to come over and help with some projects? He's staying with his parents in the next town over. I'll ask him about coming over on the Saturday my mom can come up. We can't get anything done unless someone is watching DS, and X's parents are being complete assholes about watching DS on the weekend if it has anything to do with me.
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cael
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Post by cael on Mar 17, 2015 8:35:55 GMT -5
Do you like hiking or other outdoor related things? I bet there are hiking groups you could find through a bunch of different places, maybe Meetup, the AMC, etc.? Any photography related classes or groups you could join? I took a framing/matting class through my local rec department several years ago, that was fun. (not that I do much self-framing lol, but the experience was good) We'll be in NJ in May, but only for like 2 nights for a family thing, or I'd say we could come down and visit! I'd love to meet you, sometime it'll happen. if you ever want to check out the Boston area hit us up and we can show you around and hang out!
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 17, 2015 8:38:35 GMT -5
Where is X living?
Can you get along well enough to get him to come over and help with some projects? He's staying with his parents in the next town over. I'll ask him about coming over on the Saturday my mom can come up. We can't get anything done unless someone is watching DS, and X's parents are being complete assholes about watching DS on the weekend if it has anything to do with me. I'm sorry they are being jerks.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 17, 2015 8:46:55 GMT -5
Where is X living?
Can you get along well enough to get him to come over and help with some projects? He's staying with his parents in the next town over. I'll ask him about coming over on the Saturday my mom can come up. We can't get anything done unless someone is watching DS, and X's parents are being complete assholes about watching DS on the weekend if it has anything to do with me. Then your XH has to have a come-to Jesus talk with his parents. I hate to break the news to them, but they are the grandparents of this little boy for the rest of their lives, and you are his mother. Like it or not, they damned well better learn a thing or two about civility. They don't have to like you, but they have to be civil about things. There will be family events and major milestones, and your XH needs to let them know that they will be unwelcome if this kind of behavior continues. There are two sides to every story, and frankly, they are not entitled to pass judgement on either one, even if it is their son involved in it. This is about the welfare of their grandchild and their continued involvement in his life. I hate to see this kind of thing, and even worse, I'd hate to see them cut off in his life. But they need to understand that they can either make things easier on everyone, or make things miserable for themselves. Call me a meany, but I'm not above letting them know it.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 8:47:18 GMT -5
Cael, I do belong to an active/sport/outdoors Meetup group but I don't really like some of the group leaders/favorites. I think I'll join a different group. Plus it's too cold to do that now. I'm also in a photography Meetup group but they haven't had an event in a really long time. Again, time to switch groups. and it would be awesome if we could hang out!
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 8:49:41 GMT -5
He's staying with his parents in the next town over. I'll ask him about coming over on the Saturday my mom can come up. We can't get anything done unless someone is watching DS, and X's parents are being complete assholes about watching DS on the weekend if it has anything to do with me. I'm sorry they are being jerks.
Yep but that is to be expected. In their mind you are the evil BIATCH that broke their baby heart. Just brush it off your shoulder. Can you afford a handy man and go 50/50 of the cost with your ex-husband? Can you afford to keep the house? Are you guys going to walk away with any profit? Do you have girlfriends living nearby? You can have them come over and help out when your son is with his dad? Or why don't you move into an apartment and let your ex worry about getting the house ready to sale if you have no intentions of holding on to it? Maybe that will force his family/parents to help out more fixing it?
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 8:53:09 GMT -5
He's staying with his parents in the next town over. I'll ask him about coming over on the Saturday my mom can come up. We can't get anything done unless someone is watching DS, and X's parents are being complete assholes about watching DS on the weekend if it has anything to do with me. Then your XH has to have a come-to Jesus talk with his parents. I hate to break the news to them, but they are the grandparents of this little boy for the rest of their lives, and you are his mother. Like it or not, they damned well better learn a thing or two about civility. They don't have to like you, but they have to be civil about things. There will be family events and major milestones, and your XH needs to let them know that they will be unwelcome if this kind of behavior continues. There are two sides to every story, and frankly, they are not entitled to pass judgement on either one, even if it is their son involved in it. This is about the welfare of their grandchild and their continued involvement in his life. I hate to see this kind of thing, and even worse, I'd hate to see them cut off in his life. But they need to understand that they can either make things easier on everyone, or make things miserable for themselves. Call me a meany, but I'm not above letting them know it. I am sorry but that is easier said than done and with her husband having 50/50 custody and living with them I doubt they are ignoring their grandson. They just will not do it to simplify "her" life but I bet you they will do it in a hot NY minute to simplify his. Divorce is never easy on the spouses or families, people take sides and see what they want to see. As parents they had naturally taken their son side. While I do not condone the behavior I do understand the reasoning behind it.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 17, 2015 8:59:28 GMT -5
Then your XH has to have a come-to Jesus talk with his parents. I hate to break the news to them, but they are the grandparents of this little boy for the rest of their lives, and you are his mother. Like it or not, they damned well better learn a thing or two about civility. They don't have to like you, but they have to be civil about things. There will be family events and major milestones, and your XH needs to let them know that they will be unwelcome if this kind of behavior continues. There are two sides to every story, and frankly, they are not entitled to pass judgement on either one, even if it is their son involved in it. This is about the welfare of their grandchild and their continued involvement in his life. I hate to see this kind of thing, and even worse, I'd hate to see them cut off in his life. But they need to understand that they can either make things easier on everyone, or make things miserable for themselves. Call me a meany, but I'm not above letting them know it. I am sorry but that is easier said than done and with her husband having 50/50 custody and living with them I doubt they are ignoring their grandson. They just will not do it to simplify "her" life but I bet you they will do it in a hot NY minute to simplify his. Divorce is never easy on the spouses or families, people take sides and see what they want to see. As parents they had naturally taken their son side. While I do not condone the behavior I do understand the reasoning behind it. I never said they were ignoring him. No doubt they love him to bits. But that does not give them the right to be assholes to their XDIL. She is still the child's mother. Period. Whether they like it or not, they have to learn to live with it. And while they will naturally take their son's side, it will not excuse a lack of civility. The sooner they learn that, the better. And that child, young as he is now, can easily pick up on family friction. I'm not suggesting the adults behave for the sake of each other. Because they won't and it doesn't matter. I'm suggesting it for the sake of the child. They have a long way and a lot of family moments to share. Again, they don't have to do it and like it, or make life simple for each other. They have to learn to do it for the boy. And I don't condone the behavior. I've seen it in my own family and the pain it causes can last generations.
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OldCoyote
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Post by OldCoyote on Mar 17, 2015 9:01:06 GMT -5
You want a manual explaining anything about a man? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (The rest of your list I can take seriously. But not that request. Been with the same one for a quarter-century; still cannot figure him out.) Trying to figure out men? In three days my wife and I will be married 49 years, It amazes me what she perceives what I like and don't like. The only thing I can think of she has a different husband around when I'm not there. he is completely different from me. I am also betting that my wife will forget our anniversary. Wishful thinking on her part?
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 9:02:48 GMT -5
I am sorry but that is easier said than done and with her husband having 50/50 custody and living with them I doubt they are ignoring their grandson. They just will not do it to simplify "her" life but I bet you they will do it in a hot NY minute to simplify his. Divorce is never easy on the spouses or families, people take sides and see what they want to see. As parents they had naturally taken their son side. While I do not condone the behavior I do understand the reasoning behind it. I never said they were ignoring him. No doubt they love him to bits. But that does not give them the right to be assholes to their XDIL. She is still the child's mother. Period. Whether they like it or not, they have to learn to live with it. And while they will naturally take their son's side, it will not excuse a lack of civility. The sooner they learn that, the better. And that child, young as he is now, can easily pick up on family friction. I'm not suggesting the adults behave for the sake of each other. Because they won't and it doesn't matter. I'm suggesting it for the sake of the child. They have a long way and a lot of family moments to share. Again, they don't have to do it and like it, or make life simple for each other. They have to learn to do it for the boy. And I don't condone the behavior. I've seen it in my own family and the pain it causes can last generations. She didn't say they weren't civil to her; they just will not be willing to watch their grandson when it is her weekend. You know like suddenly something came up, they had something plan, etc. I think they are more the passive aggressive type than the outright rude and uncivil type.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 17, 2015 9:03:07 GMT -5
You want a manual explaining anything about a man? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (The rest of your list I can take seriously. But not that request. Been with the same one for a quarter-century; still cannot figure him out.) Trying to figure out men? In three days my wife and I will be married 49 years, It amazes me what she perceives what I like and don't like. The only thing I can think of she has a different husband around when I'm not there. he is completely different from me. I am also betting that my wife will forget our anniversary. Wishful thinking on her part? Wives don't forget anniversaries. We simply get too busy to remember.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 9:06:18 GMT -5
I never said they were ignoring him. No doubt they love him to bits. But that does not give them the right to be assholes to their XDIL. She is still the child's mother. Period. Whether they like it or not, they have to learn to live with it. And while they will naturally take their son's side, it will not excuse a lack of civility. The sooner they learn that, the better. And that child, young as he is now, can easily pick up on family friction. I'm not suggesting the adults behave for the sake of each other. Because they won't and it doesn't matter. I'm suggesting it for the sake of the child. They have a long way and a lot of family moments to share. Again, they don't have to do it and like it, or make life simple for each other. They have to learn to do it for the boy. And I don't condone the behavior. I've seen it in my own family and the pain it causes can last generations. She didn't say they weren't civil to her; they just will not be willing to watch their grandson when it is her weekend. You know like suddenly something came up, they had something plan, etc. I think they are more the passive aggressive type than the outright rude and uncivil type. They are VERY passive aggressive, which I HATE. They are perfectly nice to my face though. When X has asked them to watch DS so that the two of us can do something like discuss finances/legal stuff or take care of the house, they refuse. Don't they realize that in making it hard for us to sell that they're hurting him, too?
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 17, 2015 9:08:31 GMT -5
I never said they were ignoring him. No doubt they love him to bits. But that does not give them the right to be assholes to their XDIL. She is still the child's mother. Period. Whether they like it or not, they have to learn to live with it. And while they will naturally take their son's side, it will not excuse a lack of civility. The sooner they learn that, the better. And that child, young as he is now, can easily pick up on family friction. I'm not suggesting the adults behave for the sake of each other. Because they won't and it doesn't matter. I'm suggesting it for the sake of the child. They have a long way and a lot of family moments to share. Again, they don't have to do it and like it, or make life simple for each other. They have to learn to do it for the boy. And I don't condone the behavior. I've seen it in my own family and the pain it causes can last generations. She didn't say they weren't civil to her; they just will not be willing to watch their grandson when it is her weekend. You know like suddenly something came up, they had something plan, etc. I think they are more the passive aggressive type than the outright rude and uncivil type. Doesn't sound like people who had something "suddenly come up" to me. And passive-aggressive behavior is still uncivil and rude behavior, just at a different level. Sorry, but it's still wrong. MJ deserves better. I don't care what the situation is or who is involved. We're called "adults" and not children after a certain age because certain things are expected of us, whether we want to do them or not. We don't get to pout, throw a tantrum or call people names like when we were kids and didn't get our way. There's a term for doing what you don't want to do when you get old enough: "Suck it up, buttercup."
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 17, 2015 9:10:44 GMT -5
I'm sorry they are being jerks.
Yep but that is to be expected. In their mind you are the evil BIATCH that broke their baby heart. Just brush it off your shoulder. Can you afford a handy man and go 50/50 of the cost with your ex-husband? Can you afford to keep the house? Are you guys going to walk away with any profit? Do you have girlfriends living nearby? You can have them come over and help out when your son is with his dad? Or why don't you move into an apartment and let your ex worry about getting the house ready to sale if you have no intentions of holding on to it? Maybe that will force his family/parents to help out more fixing it? neither of us can afford to keep it. If we spruce it up a bit more, we should be able to walk away with at least some profit. It's an old house that needs a lot of updating, but it's in a really good school district and within walking distance to the elementary and middle school. I still have to pay half the mortgage and PMI. I wouldn't feel right at all just walking away and leaving the bill to X, especially since we're both on the deed. I had an insane plan for us to get apartments now and then default on the house, but X will need a new car soon and he won't be able to get it with trashed credit. as I said earlier, I don't really have any local friends.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 9:11:35 GMT -5
She didn't say they weren't civil to her; they just will not be willing to watch their grandson when it is her weekend. You know like suddenly something came up, they had something plan, etc. I think they are more the passive aggressive type than the outright rude and uncivil type. They are VERY passive aggressive, which I HATE. They are perfectly nice to my face though. When X has asked them to watch DS so that the two of us can do something like discuss finances/legal stuff or take care of the house, they refuse. Don't they realize that in making it hard for us to sell that they're hurting him, too? Because by extension that benefits you and they will not do anything that in the long run will benefit "you" even if it is just by association. It shows how fucked up my childhood and family dynamics was that their behavior makes perfect sense to me. He shouldn't give them any details and just say he is going out on a date or something: they will watch their grandson then. Anything that will help you is a non starter . You need to know how to play by the rules to get your way and after 30 years I am a pro at this thanks to my family.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
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Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 17, 2015 9:11:56 GMT -5
She didn't say they weren't civil to her; they just will not be willing to watch their grandson when it is her weekend. You know like suddenly something came up, they had something plan, etc. I think they are more the passive aggressive type than the outright rude and uncivil type. They are VERY passive aggressive, which I HATE. They are perfectly nice to my face though. When X has asked them to watch DS so that the two of us can do something like discuss finances/legal stuff or take care of the house, they refuse. Don't they realize that in making it hard for us to sell that they're hurting him, too? Thank you. You have hit on it precisely. No, they don't. They just care about their own feelings. If it was just your XH asking, without you involved, they would likely say yes without hesitating. But they'll use the only weapon they have to get back at you - the power to say no, not thinking it will be something your DS will remember someday. Your XH will have to grow a pair and talk to them, MJ. Unfortunately, I don't think this issue is something you can approach with them.
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TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 17, 2015 9:17:03 GMT -5
They are VERY passive aggressive, which I HATE. They are perfectly nice to my face though. When X has asked them to watch DS so that the two of us can do something like discuss finances/legal stuff or take care of the house, they refuse. Don't they realize that in making it hard for us to sell that they're hurting him, too? Thank you. You have hit on it precisely. No, they don't. They just care about their own feelings. If it was just your XH asking, without you involved, they would likely say yes without hesitating. But they'll use the only weapon they have to get back at you - the power to say no, not thinking it will be something your DS will remember someday. Your XH will have to grow a pair and talk to them, MJ. Unfortunately, I don't think this issue is something you can approach with them. Talk to them and say what? They have to watch their grandson when they don't want to? How exactly will he do that? They are not obligated to watch the kid, even if he is their grandson. And I doubt XH has much ground to stand on when he is most likely living with them for free. You know: don't bite the hands that feed you and all that. You just need to play the game and find the loopholes to get your way. Yes that is how dysfunctional families work.
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