Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Mar 16, 2015 12:53:12 GMT -5
I don't think SL was being a sanctimonious ass. Those who have lived with an alcoholic have heard all the excuses of why it "ok" to drink to excess. Those who have gone through the interventions and therapy- know how destructive the behavior is both on the body and the relationships with those around them. They have watched the behavior change and had to suffer through it. Maybe some think of it as a lecture or that SL was harsh- But maybe they have different definitions of what stupid drunk means. Or maybe SL was projecting her experience on an unrelated situation. Either way, I'm still curious why she felt the need to say anything? I wouldn't say unrelated. Empress said there was a history of alcoholism in the family- but it was ok to get stupid drunk at home. SL was pointing out that was the same thing her ex used to say and that the location didn't make it acceptable to her. As kitten said- ask an open ended question and you'll get many opinions. Some you may not like.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2015 13:01:08 GMT -5
So that excuses you? Sorry but getting stupid drunk is getting stupid drunk no matter where you are.
Doing it at home doesn't give you a free pass or mean that it's okay.
(Spoken from the widow of a raging alcoholic - who had that same attitude. Guess what - he's six feet under - I'm not).
Do I drink? Yes - in moderation. Do I drink every day? No - and not to excess - certainly not to the stage of "stupid drunk". Haven't done that since I was in my 20's.
I like white wine with a good meal, and a cocktail (or two) in the evening - but don't need it or have it every day of the week. . Replying as the child of a raging alcoholic, whom I got to find when she attempted suicide with booze and I think some pills were involved, I prefer to do my stupid drunk at home, on the rare occasions when I'm awake long enough, because I know there is no need to inflict my snoring on anyone in public. All I do is fall asleep nowadays. I am well aware that too much is not great for me but sometimes when I am still half-asleep and haven't eaten much yet, the alcohol slams me faster than anticipated. It also turns me into a weepy manic moron and I prefer to keep that between my DH and I. And now all of you. Hence another reason why I don't drink as much anymore. My mother did finally dry out and was there for my cousin when he went through rehab. Surprisingly, she was not sanctimonious about booze when she stopped drinking. My cousins would come down and bring a bottle of wine and she would just not partake. She would keep a bottle of Ammaretto in the cabinet for my aunt but never drank it herself. Sorry about your husband SL. My mother had a friend who died of cirrhosis because she drank like a fish daily. It sucks and it not pretty.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Mar 16, 2015 13:02:14 GMT -5
I have done some incredibly stupid things in my youth under the influence of alcohol. It removes all your inhibitions, your filters and your boundaries. On the other hand, I could smoke a pound of pot, and just feel mellow. I wouldn't do anything that I wouldn't do sober.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Mar 16, 2015 13:10:21 GMT -5
... since when is someone not allowed to have a response to a posting, particularly when there was an open invitation to do so? since when is someone not allowed to have a response to a posting that is a response to a posting?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Mar 16, 2015 13:22:08 GMT -5
Quote removed as quoted post has been removed. - mmhmm, Administrator I don't think SL was being a sanctimonious ass. Those who have lived with an alcoholic have heard all the excuses of why it "ok" to drink to excess. Those who have gone through the interventions and therapy- know how destructive the behavior is both on the body and the relationships with those around them. They have watched the behavior change and had to suffer through it. Maybe some think of it as a lecture or that SL was harsh- But maybe they have different definitions of what stupid drunk means. I've lived with an alocholic and don't feel the need to lecture about it. I did get out and leave him to drink himself to death without me footing the bill though. He hasn't done so yet, but I have faith he will at some point.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Mar 16, 2015 13:35:41 GMT -5
I don't think SL was being a sanctimonious ass. Those who have lived with an alcoholic have heard all the excuses of why it "ok" to drink to excess. Those who have gone through the interventions and therapy- know how destructive the behavior is both on the body and the relationships with those around them. They have watched the behavior change and had to suffer through it. Maybe some think of it as a lecture or that SL was harsh- But maybe they have different definitions of what stupid drunk means. I've lived with an alocholic and don't feel the need to lecture about it. I did get out and leave him to drink himself to death without me footing the bill though. He hasn't done so yet, but I have faith he will at some point. Good for you. But I think that is the difference. I don't think SL was lecturing. If we change the topic from alcohol to money and the same type of comments were made (SL responding to her EX who was a spending addict, rather than an alcoholic) would people have had the same reaction to her post. I don't think so.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Mar 16, 2015 13:37:46 GMT -5
I lived with an alcoholic, too. It didnt' make me an expert on drunks, nor did it give me any right to judge anyone else by his standards. It did make me have an unfair disgust towards drunk people...unless I'm one of them. I dont' drink very often, but I have and there has been a time or two I've had way too much to drink. I would guess I'm not alone. My house has too many glass windows for me to throw stones at anybody else's windows.
Hinkle....I see it the same way (sort of) as anything else in life. If you aren't hurting yourself and you aren't hurting anyone else, have a drink if you want it.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Mar 16, 2015 13:41:27 GMT -5
I've lived with an alocholic and don't feel the need to lecture about it. I did get out and leave him to drink himself to death without me footing the bill though. He hasn't done so yet, but I have faith he will at some point. Good for you. But I think that is the difference. I don't think SL was lecturing. If we change the topic from alcohol to money and the same type of comments were made (SL responding to her EX who was a spending addict, rather than an alcoholic) would people have had the same reaction to her post. I don't think so. Yes, I think many people would still have an extremely negative reaction to any post that started out with "so that excuses you?". It's a ridiculously snotty and condescending question, particularly when the person to whom it is being addressed was not asking for any sort of approval for their actions. You can try to maintain that that's the way normal people generally share their non-sanctimonious non-lecturing opinions if you want, but you'd be wrong.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Mar 16, 2015 13:45:34 GMT -5
I don't think SL was being a sanctimonious ass. Those who have lived with an alcoholic have heard all the excuses of why it "ok" to drink to excess. Those who have gone through the interventions and therapy- know how destructive the behavior is both on the body and the relationships with those around them. They have watched the behavior change and had to suffer through it. Maybe some think of it as a lecture or that SL was harsh- But maybe they have different definitions of what stupid drunk means. I've lived with an alocholic and don't feel the need to lecture about it. I did get out and leave him to drink himself to death without me footing the bill though. He hasn't done so yet, but I have faith he will at some point. LOL. ummm....fingers crossed?
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Mar 16, 2015 13:49:52 GMT -5
Good for you. But I think that is the difference. I don't think SL was lecturing. If we change the topic from alcohol to money and the same type of comments were made (SL responding to her EX who was a spending addict, rather than an alcoholic) would people have had the same reaction to her post. I don't think so. Yes, I think many people would still have an extremely negative reaction to any post that started out with "so that excuses you?". It's a ridiculously snotty and condescending question, particularly when the person to whom it is being addressed was not asking for any sort of approval for their actions. You can try to maintain that that's the way normal people generally share their non-sanctimonious non-lecturing opinions if you want, but you'd be wrong. Is her opinion based on her life experience. Yes. But so is everyone elses. What I'm saying is that people on this board make sanctimonious, lecturing opinions all the time, on all sorts of topics. Only due the topic- SL hit a nerve.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 16, 2015 13:51:27 GMT -5
Yes, I think many people would still have an extremely negative reaction to any post that started out with "so that excuses you?". It's a ridiculously snotty and condescending question, particularly when the person to whom it is being addressed was not asking for any sort of approval for their actions. You can try to maintain that that's the way normal people generally share their non-sanctimonious non-lecturing opinions if you want, but you'd be wrong. Is her opinion based on her life experience. Yes. But so is everyone elses. What I'm saying is that people on this board make sanctimonious, lecturing opinions all the time, on all sorts of topics. Only due the topic- SL hit a nerve. No, I think her sanctimonious lecturing opinions are pervasive throughout YM. But I could be wrong.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 16, 2015 13:52:29 GMT -5
Doesn't anyone here get a kick out of drunk people, or am I the only one who thinks they are amusing?
I'm not talking about the mean, raging alcoholic, I'm talking about the happy go lucky drunk.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Mar 16, 2015 14:01:31 GMT -5
I drink probably every night. One beer with dinner, or on the patio when it's nice out after dinner. Rarely we'll switch over to red wine, but 90% of the time, it's beer.
I really don't like hard alcohol.
If I go out with friends, I might have 2 beers at a bar, but that's usually my limit.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Mar 16, 2015 14:02:00 GMT -5
I've lived with an alocholic and don't feel the need to lecture about it. I did get out and leave him to drink himself to death without me footing the bill though. He hasn't done so yet, but I have faith he will at some point. Good for you. But I think that is the difference. I don't think SL was lecturing. If we change the topic from alcohol to money and the same type of comments were made (SL responding to her EX who was a spending addict, rather than an alcoholic) would people have had the same reaction to her post. I don't think so. She was lecturing. She didn't like the post and lectured the poster, she didn't "share her views", that was on page one.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Mar 16, 2015 14:03:00 GMT -5
It depends what kind of mood I'm in. If I meet up with friends who have been drinking or go out to a crowded bar like the ones we used to frequent sometimes I'm a terrible sober person because drunk people can bug the crap out of me. If I'm not drinking I have to be in the right mood to hear the same story over and over, have people yelling in my ear when they talk and get bumped into repeatedly otherwise it's just not my scene. I realize that makes me a hypocrite because if I drink enough I'm just as likely to tell the same story multiple times, talk loudly and bump into people.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Mar 16, 2015 14:08:27 GMT -5
Doesn't anyone here get a kick out of drunk people, or am I the only one who thinks they are amusing?
I'm not talking about the mean, raging alcoholic, I'm talking about the happy go lucky drunk. I do have one female thread who is highly amusing. It's because she's this quiet, serious woman...until she drinks. Then, she tell the stupidest jokes that are way funny. She's very extroverted after a few and she LOVES evvvvvverbudddyyyyy. It's a crack up mainly because it's so out of character.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 16, 2015 14:09:51 GMT -5
Doesn't anyone here get a kick out of drunk people, or am I the only one who thinks they are amusing?
I'm not talking about the mean, raging alcoholic, I'm talking about the happy go lucky drunk. eh... to me, it's kinda like watching a show about uncoordinated idiots pretending to be coordinated and smart.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Mar 16, 2015 14:09:47 GMT -5
Yes, I think many people would still have an extremely negative reaction to any post that started out with "so that excuses you?". It's a ridiculously snotty and condescending question, particularly when the person to whom it is being addressed was not asking for any sort of approval for their actions. You can try to maintain that that's the way normal people generally share their non-sanctimonious non-lecturing opinions if you want, but you'd be wrong. Is her opinion based on her life experience. Yes. But so is everyone elses. What I'm saying is that people on this board make sanctimonious, lecturing opinions all the time, on all sorts of topics. Only due the topic- SL hit a nerve. I agree that people share their opinions here all the time - that's the point. Sometimes those opinions are condescending, lecturing, etc, sure. Sometimes people get called out on it when they are being particularly rude, and this is one of those times.
But actually what you originally said was that SL was not being sanctimonious OR lecturing, and about that I strongly disagree.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Mar 16, 2015 14:15:34 GMT -5
OK, folks, I asked one poster to remove their post and a few more need to remember that name calling or insults are not allowed. This is always a hot topic and emotions can run a little high. Please tone it down and the leave name calling and insults to the playgrounds in elementary school.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Mar 16, 2015 14:26:08 GMT -5
Is her opinion based on her life experience. Yes. But so is everyone elses. What I'm saying is that people on this board make sanctimonious, lecturing opinions all the time, on all sorts of topics. Only due the topic- SL hit a nerve. I agree that people share their opinions here all the time - that's the point. Sometimes those opinions are condescending, lecturing, etc, sure. Sometimes people get called out on it when they are being particularly rude, and this is one of those times.
But actually what you originally said was that SL was not being sanctimonious OR lecturing, and about that I strongly disagree.
Actually it's not what I originally said. I said that I didn't think that SL was being a sanctimonious ass that you called her. I said that SOME may consider her comment lecturing, but that they may have different definitions. I later said that I don't feel it's lecturing. Not any more so than many other posters do on different subjects.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 16, 2015 14:59:04 GMT -5
Let's get back on the topic and stop discussing other posters. Other posters are NOT the topic. Thanks.
mmhmm, Administrator
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Mar 16, 2015 14:59:59 GMT -5
Have I been banned from here? I tried to post and it said I was unauthorized. I'm not drunk - swear! Now it's working. LOL!
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Mar 16, 2015 15:06:53 GMT -5
I've done the Walk of Shame on an early Sunday morning, with my panties balled up in my purse and wondering what city I'm in. Who hasn't?
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Mar 16, 2015 15:09:42 GMT -5
I've done the Walk of Shame on an early Sunday morning, with my panties balled up in my purse and wondering what city I'm in. Who hasn't? Me. I live a dull and boring life.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 16, 2015 15:17:10 GMT -5
I've done the Walk of Shame on an early Sunday morning, with my panties balled up in my purse and wondering what city I'm in. Who hasn't? You could find your panties? I'm impressed.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Mar 16, 2015 15:20:16 GMT -5
I've done the Walk of Shame on an early Sunday morning, with my panties balled up in my purse and wondering what city I'm in. Who hasn't? You could find your panties? I'm impressed. I know, eh? I'm always on the ball. They may have been ripped or soaked through with scotch, but I usually found them.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2015 16:09:16 GMT -5
Or maybe SL was projecting her experience on an unrelated situation. Either way, I'm still curious why she felt the need to say anything? I wouldn't say unrelated. Empress said there was a history of alcoholism in the family- but it was ok to get stupid drunk at home. SL was pointing out that was the same thing her ex used to say and that the location didn't make it acceptable to her. As kitten said- ask an open ended question and you'll get many opinions.Some you may not like. It is interesting to hear all the opinions though. At least to me.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2015 16:13:09 GMT -5
I lived with an alcoholic, too. It didnt' make me an expert on drunks, nor did it give me any right to judge anyone else by his standards. It did make me have an unfair disgust towards drunk people...unless I'm one of them. I dont' drink very often, but I have and there has been a time or two I've had way too much to drink. I would guess I'm not alone. My house has too many glass windows for me to throw stones at anybody else's windows. Hinkle....I see it the same way (sort of) as anything else in life. If you aren't hurting yourself and you aren't hurting anyone else, have a drink if you want it. I am pretty happy now not drinking. I do so much like the idea of alcohol though. I am not sure what I will end up doing, but for now, nope. I do think it kind of not great to not drink if it is better for me healthwise. I don't think anyone here said they drink for health reasons. I was hoping someone did.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2015 16:13:29 GMT -5
I double posted.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2015 16:16:09 GMT -5
I've done the Walk of Shame on an early Sunday morning, with my panties balled up in my purse and wondering what city I'm in. Who hasn't? I know I have.
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