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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 10:08:09 GMT -5
Would they charge kids that show up but forgot to bring present too? It's not about covering the cost of people who RSVP in the positive and show up- it's about paying for a no-show that isn't dead or in the ER. the end is near....I agree with Paul!
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Jan 20, 2015 10:11:46 GMT -5
Down here in Florida we have indoor warehouse venues with a variety of bounce houses and trampolines. It's usually about $10 to $20 a kid, plus the cost of food. We used eventbrite and a paypal app and asked for a $10 deposit refundable if you showed up. Amazing how well that worked. I didn't even know we did that- I was talking to my wife about this yesterday and she told me. Good gal I married.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 10:14:10 GMT -5
RSVP grade school parties aren't something I see very often around here. Usually it's just an open invitation. You show up, great. But, we're not paying for admittance to a ski slope for each kid either. I always had a massive birthday party for older son, younger son was SUPPOSED to be born the same week, but the stinker showed up early. LOL So, now I have to throw two within a few weeks of each other.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 10:18:11 GMT -5
Parent one that paid should have called and let parent two know that they had thought their child was coming and were out the $24. If I was parent 2 I would have apologized and just offered to pay. Sending an invoice with your 5 year old to give another 5 year old to give to his parents was just tacky and I can see how parent 2 would be pissed.
However, if I was parent one I would have just let it go.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jan 20, 2015 10:22:55 GMT -5
RSVP grade school parties aren't something I see very often around here. Usually it's just an open invitation. You show up, great. But, we're not paying for admittance to a ski slope for each kid either. I always had a massive birthday party for older son, younger son was SUPPOSED to be born the same week, but the stinker showed up early. LOL So, now I have to throw two within a few weeks of each other. Split the difference. Of course my 2 are only 2 weeks apart, so at this age it is really easy to split the difference. My sister's oldest 2 have birthdays 10 days apart. They are 15 and 17. They had 2 separate parties for friends this year. 1 on Saturday and 1 on Sunday and they had the EXACT same group of friends at both. Of course every time there is a snow day, my sister gets all the same kids over at her house anyway. So it wasn't like it was that different than usual.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jan 20, 2015 10:24:04 GMT -5
WEll the couple times it has happened, I inadvertently forgot to RSVP. But I don't know these parents, I don't know these kids. DS goes to preschool near my office - the kids he is going to preschool with are not the kids he would be going to elementary school with. Elementary school, yeah I will try to do a better job of RSVPing.... or i would have if we were staying in the area because I would be dealing with the same kids and parents for the next 13 years. I meant to RSVP and simply forgot. For some reason, the 3 parties DS has been invited from school have occurred during times that have been crazy busy for us - the week after we got back from Florida (so yes, the school year was already over), the weekend my parents were visiting, and the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I was trying to figure out how to make these parties and then got overwelmed and forgot. I RSVP to my neighbors when they throw parties. It is reminding me of my suggestion to serve filet mignon to guests you care about and meatballs to those you don't. I served Chicken nuggets to everyone. So, obviously I don't care about anyone.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 10:34:38 GMT -5
Split the difference. Of course my 2 are only 2 weeks apart, so at this age it is really easy to split the difference. They're actually almost a month apart and we usually have the party for older son the weekend AFTER his birthday week because he's away at camp every summer during his birthday and he already shares a party with his cousin. It sucks because it's my one big bash of the year with 50+ family members and whatever kids we can get. I'm thinking of starting a new tradition for younger son. Have it at a bowling alley or Chuckie Cheese or something and have it more kid based than family reunion style so people don't feel they have to make both. Then again, it is the summer and it's fun.
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Jan 20, 2015 10:42:26 GMT -5
Well, that's fine to invite the whole class in Kindergarten but is there a point in life where you have to understand that sorry you don't get invited to everyone's party? I mean, yes teach your kids to be discreet but they shouldn't have to invite the whole class forever. Sorry, I am pretty sure it is a grade school thing. My DD got a cell phone in 4th grade. I am not even sure how kids invite other kids to b-day parties anymore. Do they still use cardstock invites? Do they send Facebook Messages? I get a few FB invites a year.
You know I am sure over time that my kids did RSVP they were going to a party and did not attend...but if that were the case I would have sent over a gift anyways. We always taught our kids that you invite people to your party because you want them to share in the event, but gifts are not expected or "owed". The way I understand the "Bill" being sent, it was the next day...so they did not even wait to see if their child would receive a gift from the non-attendee. Once I got the bill, I would not have sent the gift.
And no court is going to award this family $$ because the child did not show up at the party. It is Akin to saying if you RSVP'd you owe me a gift.
I have to clarify again so nobody freaks out- sending a bill was just as uncouth as failing to show. That being said, the bill is probably not about failing to give a gift- but about costs incurred which would not otherwise have been incurred if they were not expecting the additional guest. It's EXTREMELY RUDE to ignore an invitation, or to RSVP in the positive and fail to show up. I think something else that's missing from our society is grace and courage. First of all, have some grace for people- they may have a good reason for not showing up. Find out. And have the courage to do it FACE TO FACE with grace. I understand the frustration with rude people, but making yourself look like a giant ass in response isn't the solution. I think it lacks class not to speak to the no-shows face to face. I frequently address late and no-show and I usually like to open with, "Gee, I hope everything is OK?" just to make sure they don't have a good reason- because here's the thing: once in a blue moon- they do. You'll be glad you weren't a jerk when they tell you they had a family emergency or something. However, even if they don't have a good reason, it's better to make your disappointment known in person. You probably won't over-do it if you're looking them in the eye, and in that way face to face communication provides a check on excess expression of frustration. Even when face to face, this kind of passive-aggressive behavior like "invoicing" someone is petty. There's nothing wrong with getting to the point as clearly and concisely as possible. There'd be nothing wrong with saying, "It's obvious that missing little Johnny's party was no big deal to you, but we were disappointed that you said you'd be there, and then didn't call or show up. Not only was little Johnny upset, but we reserved a spot for your little Mikey which we had to pay for and which could have been taken by another child." Then, no matter what they say- if it's anything less than apologetic, you can simply say, "I understand where you're coming from. I just wanted to let you know where I was coming from. Let's not let our differences of opinion get in the way of little Mikey and little Johnny being friends. We've both said our piece- now let's let bygones be bygones." If they're overly defensive and rude, as many people are these days in rationalizing their unacceptable behaviors, simply say, "I'm sorry you feel that way"- note it, and move on. Guess little Mikey won't be friends with little Johnny- and as the acorn doesn't usually fall too far from the oak-- that's probably not the worst thing that could happen.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jan 20, 2015 10:45:58 GMT -5
For some reason, 2% milk popped into my head
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jan 20, 2015 10:50:05 GMT -5
Paul, part of me is in agreement with you, but part of me is not. I don't think it is polite to address the lack of attendance after RSVP. It is on the person who RSVP'd and did not show up to apologize and give an explanation. If they do not, that does not mean no emergency came up, it could mean they don't want to involve you in their personal business.
I had two issues come up within a few day of each other. My lawyer is handling both. One is so insane he is handling it for free (it is minor but ridiculous). I still don't anticipate talking a lot about it b/c I find it somewhat embarrassing.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jan 20, 2015 10:53:03 GMT -5
Would they charge kids that show up but forgot to bring present too? It's not about covering the cost of people who RSVP in the positive and show up- it's about paying for a no-show that isn't dead or in the ER. I have a feeling dead or in the ER wouldn't be acceptable to some people. YOU RSVP'D and you didn't show up assholes. Show me the money.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jan 20, 2015 10:54:35 GMT -5
Split the difference. Of course my 2 are only 2 weeks apart, so at this age it is really easy to split the difference. They're actually almost a month apart and we usually have the party for older son the weekend AFTER his birthday week because he's away at camp every summer during his birthday and he already shares a party with his cousin. It sucks because it's my one big bash of the year with 50+ family members and whatever kids we can get. I'm thinking of starting a new tradition for younger son. Have it at a bowling alley or Chuckie Cheese or something and have it more kid based than family reunion style so people don't feel they have to make both. Then again, it is the summer and it's fun. LOL, my DD asked for a family bowling party one year. Most of us only rarely bowl, but DH's family all showed up and had a good time. We used to do Chuckie Cheese when the kids were younger. Then we started to realize that other people were there to drink while their kids played and the other kids (not part of our group) were misbehaving and no one was supervising. There used to be a Chuckie Cheeses and a very good area of a desirable town here. The police were constantly called there for issues. I think the city shut it down.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 11:02:08 GMT -5
They're actually almost a month apart and we usually have the party for older son the weekend AFTER his birthday week because he's away at camp every summer during his birthday and he already shares a party with his cousin. It sucks because it's my one big bash of the year with 50+ family members and whatever kids we can get. I'm thinking of starting a new tradition for younger son. Have it at a bowling alley or Chuckie Cheese or something and have it more kid based than family reunion style so people don't feel they have to make both. Then again, it is the summer and it's fun. LOL, my DD asked for a family bowling party one year. Most of us only rarely bowl, but DH's family all showed up and had a good time. We used to do Chuckie Cheese when the kids were younger. Then we started to realize that other people were there to drink while their kids played and the other kids (not part of our group) were misbehaving and no one was supervising. There used to be a Chuckie Cheeses and a very good area of a desirable town here. The police were constantly called there for issues. I think the city shut it down. Wait!!! They serve alcohol at Chuckie Cheese?!?! For years I've been telling my kids hell to the no on going there, but this might change things.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Jan 20, 2015 11:22:25 GMT -5
Paul, part of me is in agreement with you, but part of me is not. I don't think it is polite to address the lack of attendance after RSVP. It is on the person who RSVP'd and did not show up to apologize and give an explanation. If they do not, that does not mean no emergency came up, it could mean they don't want to involve you in their personal business.
I had two issues come up within a few day of each other. My lawyer is handling both. One is so insane he is handling it for free (it is minor but ridiculous). I still don't anticipate talking a lot about it b/c I find it somewhat embarrassing. You opened the can of worms so please tell more - Inquiring Minds want to know!
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jan 20, 2015 11:50:24 GMT -5
Works for Sarah...Hopefully no one will recognize me from the story. No one quote me and I will delete in a little while.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 12:04:43 GMT -5
I guess I don't get why the backup was called. Were you not answering her questions? I don't see why she wouldn't have just ignored your pleas for leniency and wrote the ticket anyhow (if that's what she wanted to do) and moved on.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jan 20, 2015 12:05:44 GMT -5
bean - that sucks
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 20, 2015 12:08:50 GMT -5
I kept trying to tell her that I do not let my Dog run,
You have to remember not to confront the police. If they say jump, you say how high. If you think they are wrong you have to solve that problem in court.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jan 20, 2015 12:18:06 GMT -5
LOL, my DD asked for a family bowling party one year. Most of us only rarely bowl, but DH's family all showed up and had a good time. We used to do Chuckie Cheese when the kids were younger. Then we started to realize that other people were there to drink while their kids played and the other kids (not part of our group) were misbehaving and no one was supervising. There used to be a Chuckie Cheeses and a very good area of a desirable town here. The police were constantly called there for issues. I think the city shut it down. Wait!!! They serve alcohol at Chuckie Cheese?!?! For years I've been telling my kids hell to the no on going there, but this might change things. Trust me, there's not enough alcohol available to make Chuck E Cheese enjoyable. In fact, you might find that you use up the alcohol to swab down all surfaces in a vain attempt to sterilize to prevent Ebola. I'm sure it varies by area, but the only Chuck E Cheeses' I've ever been in - Phoenix area - were so disgusting I would have preferred to have my kid crawl around in a gas station rest room.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jan 20, 2015 12:30:49 GMT -5
I guess I don't get why the backup was called. Were you not answering her questions? I don't see why she wouldn't have just ignored your pleas for leniency and wrote the ticket anyhow (if that's what she wanted to do) and moved on.
I did not answer her question right away, b/c I did not understand exactly what happened (why the dog got out) until after they left and DH said he had the door open b/c he was trying to fix the handle. I asked DD to have my DH come out and talk to her b/c he knew what happened. She went off on me and said she was calling for backup and she did. The neighbor who works with her says she.does.this.all.the.time.
The ticket is for "Dog running at large". He was not "running at large" he was at the foot of my driveway (but yes, in the street) and DD and I ran right out of the house immediately after him. I did not feel I even deserved a lecture. I really didn't expect her to act the way she did. I will never "trust" a police officer the same way I have in the past. If I ever again serve on a jury and listen to officer testimony, I will wonder if they acted like this woman when dealing with the general public.
I really think the police departments need to clean house like the local school districts did here.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 12:30:50 GMT -5
Loved chuckie cheese! Kids always got to go after dentist. They loved the dentist Of course, like with most things like this , bring able to go at 11 or 1 on a weekday made all the difference
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 20, 2015 12:38:51 GMT -5
Uh... no. There's a right and wrong way to confront police, but citizens in a free country should never meekly let cops trample all over the rights your forefathers fought to give you. You don't yell, don't talk with your hands, don't swear, don't get in the cops face (even a single step toward them is dumb), but I see no problem whatsoever with explaining your side of the story when interacting with police. your death wish. not mine. At least you aren't black. But mexican is not much better.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 12:43:36 GMT -5
I guess I don't get why the backup was called. Were you not answering her questions? I don't see why she wouldn't have just ignored your pleas for leniency and wrote the ticket anyhow (if that's what she wanted to do) and moved on.
I did not answer her question right away, b/c I did not understand exactly what happened (why the dog got out) until after they left and DH said he had the door open b/c he was trying to fix the handle. I asked DD to have my DH come out and talk to her b/c he knew what happened. She went off on me and said she was calling for backup and she did. The neighbor who works with her says she.does.this.all.the.time.
The ticket is for "Dog running at large". He was not "running at large" he was at the foot of my driveway (but yes, in the street) and DD and I ran right out of the house immediately after him. I did not feel I even deserved a lecture. I really didn't expect her to act the way she did. I will never "trust" a police officer the same way I have in the past. If I ever again serve on a jury and listen to officer testimony, I will wonder if they acted like this woman when dealing with the general public.
I really think the police departments need to clean house like the local school districts did here. I wouldn't give up on the police over this. I have a lot of family in the force and they are really good people. I hear all kinds of stuff from their side and know how stressful of a job it is, on the families as well as the one working, but there are definitely ass holes in every profession.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 20, 2015 12:46:41 GMT -5
Good thing I'm not black or mexican then. you look enough like a Mexican and live in California. That's all a cop needs to know.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jan 20, 2015 12:46:42 GMT -5
Uh... no. There's a right and wrong way to confront police, but citizens in a free country should never meekly let cops trample all over the rights your forefathers fought to give you. You don't yell, don't talk with your hands, don't swear, don't get in the cops face (even a single step toward them is dumb), but I see no problem whatsoever with explaining your side of the story when interacting with police. your death wish. not mine. At least you aren't black. But mexican is not much better. I'm not sure if you're trying to be funny here, but with what's going on recently it's not a funny subject IMHO.
Of course it's not remotely OK to act aggressively to the police. Yelling, moving towards them, not complying with orders, etc... bad idea and not OK.
But just calmly explaining your side of the story? If we think that's not OK then something is seriously wrong and we all need to be involved in fixing it.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 20, 2015 12:47:55 GMT -5
your death wish. not mine. At least you aren't black. But mexican is not much better. I'm not sure if you're trying to be funny here, but with what's going on recently it's not a funny subject IMHO.
Of course it's not remotely OK to act aggressively to the police. Yelling, moving towards them, not complying with orders, etc... bad idea and not OK.
But just calmly explaining your side of the story? If we think that's not OK then something is seriously wrong and we all need to be involved in fixing it.
Both.
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Jan 20, 2015 12:49:44 GMT -5
It is reminding me of my suggestion to serve filet mignon to guests you care about and meatballs to those you don't. I served Chicken nuggets to everyone. So, obviously I don't care about anyone. If those were McD's I would say you care. I used to be able to grub 20. And than (in about 10 min) wanting some more. Those were days...
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 20, 2015 12:51:44 GMT -5
Are you sure you aren't confusing me with somebody else? I'm german/irish/french. Extra pasty white guy. If I don't look white then nobody does. I haven't seen many pictures of you. Maybe it was just the lighting. the bandanna around your neck didn't help, either.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jan 20, 2015 12:53:03 GMT -5
Are you sure you aren't confusing me with somebody else? I'm german/irish/french. Extra pasty white guy. If I don't look white then nobody does. Well I'm Irish, English, Dutch, German and Swiss. Pasty white skin, dark hair. Married to a Mexican. I get mistaken for Hispanic all the time.
One of DH's Puerto Rican friends assumed I was Puerto Rican. My DH has an Uncle from Mexico who has pale skin and red hair. I always thought he looked exactly like an Irishman!
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jan 20, 2015 12:55:10 GMT -5
I served Chicken nuggets to everyone. So, obviously I don't care about anyone. If those were McD's I would say you care. I used to be able to grub 20. And than (in about 10 min) wanting some more. Those were days... McDs would be cold by the time they got to my house. I served frozen Tyson.
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