Would you work for nothing?

[Miss Tequila]

Jan 6, 2015 15:41:21 GMT -5 midjd said:

If your wife is going to let the size of her paycheck dictate her self-worth, she probably should've gone into a different career field...

Exactly. $40K isn't a very big salary so of course she isn't going to have a lot left over with all of those deductions.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

If your wife is going to let the size of her paycheck dictate her self-worth, she probably should've gone into a different career field



And I'd REALLY caution her to think carefully about her PhD if she's that tied up in what her paystub reads. Most PhDs are stuck in a post doc loop right now making barely what she makes now.

And as a PI most of her salary will be grant money she has to bring in herself. Lots of young PIs make peanuts until they can get enough grant money to afford to conduct research and draw a salary.

Don't know what the age is now but when I last talked to my former boss the average age of your first ROI grant (which are usually big enough to cover everything) is 40.  

[TheHaitian]

Jan 6, 2015 15:54:29 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

If your wife is going to let the size of her paycheck dictate her self-worth, she probably should've gone into a different career field



And I'd REALLY caution her to think carefully about her PhD if she's that tied up in the amount on her paycheck. Most PhDs are stuck in a post doc loop right now making barely what she makes now.

And as a PI most of her salary will be grant money she has to bring in herself. Lots of young PIs make peanuts until they can get enough grant money to afford to conduct research and draw a salary.

Believe me we had that talk over and over and over again.

The last time her response was: people like her don't pick academia/research for the money but for the love of it and the prestige within that community.

I told her to tell that to the bank when they call looking for the mortgage payment.

I am slowly structuring our lives that her paycheck becomes extra or gravy! It is awesome to have but we can do without it.

She is still stuck on academia/teaching as her choice. We talked about it this past weekend and I said: so would you expect me to quit a 100k/year job to follow you for a 50k/year teaching gig?

She said she was hopeful that there is enough universities in MA that she would find a job here. I reminded her that our neighbors 2 door down just sold their house because DW got a teaching job in Florida after getting her PhD.

Another friend of ours just left academia because he could not support his wife and baby on that salary and the offer from a private company was too good to pass.

There is a position open in my company currently that my wife could take (the person that left had a Masters in Public Health like her) as a Health Coordinator and it pays more. But she wants to stick with academia/research.

So I just support her dream/career path and go along with it. Another ~5 years or so till she earns her PhD.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

people like her don't pick academia/research for the money but for the love of it and the prestige within that community.

She's totally right there.

She just needs to make sure her attitude towards her paycheck/self worth actually lines up with that because she's going to be in for a shock. Funding for new PhDs is even worse right now.

If she can reconcile it all then more power to her.

Your idea would be a great trial run. If she can live with a net paycheck that small now then she should be fine with whatever she gets thrown at her.

I'd also use that as a case to argue for maxing her retirement now. Do it now while she's still being paid by her lab and making $40k. Then you won't have to worry so much if you need to reduce it later.

[Deleted]

She is still stuck on academia/teaching as her choice. We talked about it this past weekend and I said: so would you expect me to quit a 100k/year job to follow you for a 50k/year teaching gig?

Who are you kidding, she plans to be a SAHM.

[TheHaitian]

Jan 6, 2015 15:58:47 GMT -5 @tbird said:

also - is she taking courses and getting free tuition?

Yes, so far her PhD is free/fully paid for.

All she has to pay for is the costs of books/software she needs for classes. Also her job is flexible so that helps her a lot.
---> ETA: and she said she can use a lot of the info gathered at work for her PhD which is a big plus from what she tells me.

If I go back for my MBA, tuition is free.

[TheHaitian]

Jan 6, 2015 16:11:28 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

She is still stuck on academia/teaching as her choice. We talked about it this past weekend and I said: so would you expect me to quit a 100k/year job to follow you for a 50k/year teaching gig?

Who are you kidding, she plans to be a SAHM.

LOL!!!

Only way THAT would happen was if she gave birth to quadruplets or more and there is no way we could afford daycare and MIL is too old to take care of that many kids at once.

And when we discussed that possibility since we are doing IVF my wife already said she would most likely go the "selective reduction" route.

So I think it is safe to say: NO, not going to happen.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

If you had quadruplets you could possibly leverage that into your own TLC show.

Are you also hoarders, little people or have anyone in the house that eats weird non-food items?

[TheHaitian]

Jan 6, 2015 16:11:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

people like her don't pick academia/research for the money but for the love of it and the prestige within that community.

She's totally right there.

She just needs to make sure her attitude towards her paycheck/self worth actually lines up with that because she's going to be in for a shock. Funding for new PhDs is even worse right now.

If she can reconcile it all then more power to her.

Your idea would be a great trial run. If she can live with a net paycheck that small now then she should be fine with whatever she gets thrown at her.

I'd also use that as a case to argue for maxing her retirement now. Do it now while she's still being paid by her lab and making $40k. Then you won't have to worry so much if you need to reduce it later.

Thanks, overall that is the plan...

[TheHaitian]

Jan 6, 2015 16:26:21 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

If you had quadruplets you could possibly leverage that into your own TLC show.

Are you also hoarders, little people or have anyone in the house that eats weird non-food items?

Hahaha!!!!

LOL!!!

For the right amount/$$$ I could do all the above; except for little people !

[TheHaitian]

LOL... Thought about this thread!

I love my wife and you get what you get and she stays true to herself.

We talked over the past weekend about her applying for another position at the location closer to home (20 minutes drive vs the 1.5 hours) with us considering a kid.

Today was a shitty day at work and she told me she made up her mind and she is applying for the position; f*ck her sense of loyalty and all that, her PI is a prick etc etc etc. Typical bad day a work Monday thing...

And she said: Even if it is a lateral move at least I won't have to pay $330/month for the train pass... You know how much stuff I can buy at Crate & Barrel for $330/month

And I lost it on the phone and started laughing... She is who she is and I know what to expect. Her first thought was what she could buy with the $330/month she won't have to spend on the train passes.

At least I could never claim she wasn't honest with me!!!

[Deleted]

Wasnt your first thought about saving rent what kind of car it would buy? 

Isnt it Tuesday? 

[TheHaitian]

Jan 6, 2015 19:20:06 GMT -5 oped said:

Wasnt your first thought about saving rent what kind of car it would buy? 

Isnt it Tuesday? 

Nope, I was looking at buying a new car NOW with all the 0% / cash back being advertised and taking advantage of that.

Still haven't decided if I am going to or not