qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Dec 26, 2014 13:14:23 GMT -5
I'm sitting here at the dealership waiting to get my car serviced and so far one person wanted to know everything I got for Christmas and proceeded to tell me what he received and another guy randomly started talking to me about two of his relatives who recently died... their hobbies and medical history. Never seen either of these men before and they weren't hitting on me. I'm playing on my phone & reading a magazine not acting like I want to talk. I get making idle conversation asking if someone had a nice holiday or telling an amusing anecdote about a child or pet but this is weird & annoying. Does this happen to anyone else?
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Dec 26, 2014 13:17:42 GMT -5
Yes. Happens to women more than men. I'd say one of the benefits of having resting bitch face is that it doesn't happen, but that's not true. It just happens slightly less often.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Dec 26, 2014 14:11:55 GMT -5
Yes. It happens to me, too. I'm always amazed at the stuff people will tell complete strangers. The "life history" or the "the horrors that have happened to me" only make me feel uncomfortable when the person with the story wants/seems to expect me to agree with more than just "life is unfair". I especially find the derogatory/bigoted comments from strangers (usually about another stranger or person(s) in the general vicinity (or on the TV)) to be very awkward and that always makes me uncomfortable enough to actually get up and move or to make an attempt to participate in the conversation (other than smiling and nodding) by quickly changing the subject. I don't want to be included in their "circle of friends", thank you very much. These kinds of conversations usually happen when I'm stuck waiting for something (like an oil change) or when the lines get really long at the grocery or when something out of the ordinary happens that pushes people out of a routine (like when the cash registers go 'out' at the grocery - or the train is later than usual - or the 'doors' don't open at an event on time)
I know I sometimes babble to strangers - but in my case it's some random bit of useless information that I find interesting - like TMI about different winter squash at the grocery OR the science behind why buses always run in packs OR some other observation about stuff that no one else is interested in. I have never told strangers about my ailments or if something sad has happened (death in the family) or if I've gotten bad news (lost a job or had my car stolen).
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Dec 26, 2014 14:12:34 GMT -5
Yes. Happens to women more than men. ... True but only 50.632% to 49.368%
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 14:14:22 GMT -5
You mean besides here?
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Dec 26, 2014 14:19:58 GMT -5
Maybe telling others, even complete strangers, about something 'important' that has happened to them makes them feel less lonely? I know a lot of people seem to find being 'alone' (and therefore lonely) to be very uncomfortable. Maybe they need to feel connected to every one else around them? As it is the Holidays. I've bumped into lots of people voicing the idea that when someone is 'alone' they must also be lonely. But that's not always true. Or maybe I'm just a freak of nature. I'm very comfy being alone (and don't feel lonely). It's nice. Quiet. I get to enjoy all the stuff going on in my head without interruption. I like it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 14:58:06 GMT -5
I'm sitting here at the dealership waiting to get my car serviced and so far one person wanted to know everything I got for Christmas and proceeded to tell me what he received and another guy randomly started talking to me about two of his relatives who recently died... their hobbies and medical history. Never seen either of these men before and they weren't hitting on me. I'm playing on my phone & reading a magazine not acting like I want to talk. I get making idle conversation asking if someone had a nice holiday or telling an amusing anecdote about a child or pet but this is weird & annoying. Does this happen to anyone else? Once you become old and unattractive and totally ignored by everyone... you will reminisce about these good old days. Or become one of those bothersome talkers.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 26, 2014 15:04:07 GMT -5
You mean besides here? LOL you beat me to it!
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qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Dec 26, 2014 15:12:04 GMT -5
Lol... I just assume people come here to hear the random details and if they don't care they won't read it. I'm struggling to find an appropriate response to a man speculating on the findings of the coroner's report of his relative who died of an aneurysm while hunting. Sticking with hmmm and shrugging.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Dec 26, 2014 17:42:44 GMT -5
I'm sitting here at the dealership waiting to get my car serviced and so far one person wanted to know everything I got for Christmas and proceeded to tell me what he received and another guy randomly started talking to me about two of his relatives who recently died... their hobbies and medical history. Never seen either of these men before and they weren't hitting on me. I'm playing on my phone & reading a magazine not acting like I want to talk. I get making idle conversation asking if someone had a nice holiday or telling an amusing anecdote about a child or pet but this is weird & annoying. Does this happen to anyone else? Once you become old and unattractive and totally ignored by everyone... you will reminisce about these good old days. Or become one of those bothersome talkers. Now we know who to unload on. The old, unattractive and totally ignored.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 26, 2014 18:00:35 GMT -5
I have revealed a lot online to random strangers.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 26, 2014 18:43:20 GMT -5
Doing it online is totally different from in person, IMO. I try not to do it at all, certainly not in person. I don't even talk to my hair dresser.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 18:49:05 GMT -5
Only here. And not the gruesome details.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Dec 26, 2014 18:55:07 GMT -5
Doing it online is totally different from in person, IMO. . But is it really? I do remember about some posters who were stalked IRL by someone who knew (about) them from these boards. Just saying... And yes I do disclose some things here that I would never tell people off-line
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qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Dec 26, 2014 20:17:14 GMT -5
I think posting online in a forum that was created to share information is different than striking up a conversation with random strangers who didn't ask to hear from you. I've been known to make idle conversation with people in line complimenting them on their hair/clothing/children or something they're buying but I couldn't imagine asking personal questions or sharing personal tragedies
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Dec 26, 2014 22:04:33 GMT -5
I get it all of the time in real life. I never reciprocate. This may be why I dislike going out and playing amongst the general public.
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Malarky
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Post by Malarky on Dec 26, 2014 22:16:52 GMT -5
Only here. And not the gruesome details. Do tell...
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Dec 26, 2014 23:15:39 GMT -5
I volunteer in the ER in a large hospital. People tell me weird stuff there all the time.
Out in the real world, I am one of those older, unattractive, invisible people that no one really pays any attention to, so I don't get a lot of confidences from strangers.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 27, 2014 3:04:16 GMT -5
Doing it online is totally different from in person, IMO. . But is it really? I do remember about some posters who were stalked IRL by someone who knew (about) them from these boards. Just saying... And yes I do disclose some things here that I would never tell people off-line I agree completely. I have read some horrific stories about peeps that got stalked IRL by someone that knew them from a message board. Do you know of stalking that happened directly in relation to 'these' boards? - Yikes!The reason I think it's different is cause I can make idle conversation easier on here, not because I think you should tell your life story. I always worry that someone I know IRL is one of the other posters on a message board, and I don't know it. That, combined with the fact that POM could be a mass murderer ... helps keep me in check. But I too disclose some things here, I would never tell people off-line. Hopefully I'm not too offensive.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2014 11:05:05 GMT -5
I volunteer in the ER in a large hospital. People tell me weird stuff there all the time.
Out in the real world, I am one of those older, unattractive, invisible people that no one really pays any attention to, so I don't get a lot of confidences from strangers. Interesting. I have felt "invisible" since I was about 50.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 27, 2014 11:16:20 GMT -5
Supposedly 50 is the age when women become invisible. Well, unless you are a celeb or something.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Dec 27, 2014 11:26:26 GMT -5
I have a favorite restaurant that I frequent at least once a week. A lot of widows and widowers eat all three meals a day there. If I am seated close to them and they have seen me before, I'm likely to hear their life story. I usually have my nose in the newspaper or my iPad, but I listen as I know how lonely my dad gets. I know these people are lonely. They often tell me about the spouse they lost so I listen.
Other places, I don't much appreciate it and try to read, etc.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Dec 27, 2014 11:27:27 GMT -5
Supposedly 50 is the age when women become invisible. Well, unless you are a celeb or something. Wanted to add that I love Elena Delle Donne and her basketball skills, as well as her love for her sister and disabled children and adults.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 27, 2014 11:28:03 GMT -5
I think it is somewhat generational too. I think people are more inclined to chat it up with someone in their peer/age group.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Dec 27, 2014 11:41:48 GMT -5
Supposedly 50 is the age when women become invisible. Well, unless you are a celeb or something. This is a good thing but would be even better if it got down to age zero, correct?
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 27, 2014 15:39:04 GMT -5
But is it really? I do remember about some posters who were stalked IRL by someone who knew (about) them from these boards. Just saying... And yes I do disclose some things here that I would never tell people off-line I agree completely. I have read some horrific stories about peeps that got stalked IRL by someone that knew them from a message board. Do you know of stalking that happened directly in relation to 'these' boards? - Yikes!The reason I think it's different is cause I can make idle conversation easier on here, not because I think you should tell your life story. I always worry that someone I know IRL is one of the other posters on a message board, and I don't know it. That, combined with the fact that POM could be a mass murderer ... helps keep me in check. But I too disclose some things here, I would never tell people off-line. Hopefully I'm not too offensive. Hey now. Just because I stored some bodies in my freezer for you doesn't make me a mass murderer. It makes me an accessory to mass murder!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 27, 2014 16:25:35 GMT -5
Doing it online is totally different from in person, IMO. . But is it really? I do remember about some posters who were stalked IRL by someone who knew (about) them from these boards. Just saying... And yes I do disclose some things here that I would never tell people off-line I was one of the posters who was stalked. Scared the shit out of me
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 27, 2014 19:08:50 GMT -5
But is it really? I do remember about some posters who were stalked IRL by someone who knew (about) them from these boards. Just saying... And yes I do disclose some things here that I would never tell people off-line I was one of the posters who was stalked. Scared the shit out of me Ms. T. If you don't mind me asking how did they find you IRL and how did you get them to stop?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2014 19:16:52 GMT -5
I was totally unaware of the stalking issues... Wow.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Dec 27, 2014 19:21:10 GMT -5
I'm sitting here at the dealership waiting to get my car serviced and so far one person wanted to know everything I got for Christmas and proceeded to tell me what he received and another guy randomly started talking to me about two of his relatives who recently died... their hobbies and medical history. Never seen either of these men before and they weren't hitting on me. I'm playing on my phone & reading a magazine not acting like I want to talk. I get making idle conversation asking if someone had a nice holiday or telling an amusing anecdote about a child or pet but this is weird & annoying. Does this happen to anyone else? Once you become old and unattractive and totally ignored by everyone... you will reminisce about these good old days. Or become one of those bothersome talkers. Sorry, JMA. It don't work that way. Take it from an old, gray-haired lady who gets this all the time. Grocery store, drug store, car wash, restaurants, you name it. I've even been tempted to look to see if someone hung a sign on my back!
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